A Creep Story

[Deptydog]

Hey Gang,

Just thought you'd be interested in hearing about a creep my wife and I knew.

We met this couple at a swing party. I started up a conversation with the guy when he was sitting at a table next to us while his wife was on the dance floor. We hit it off well, and when his wife came back to the table, the four of us just "clicked". We ended up in bed with a third couple but didn't have sex with this couple.

At subsequent parties, we ended up in bed and swapped. The wife and my wife and I all really bonded. I was starting to like the husband a little less after each meeting. (I didn't like the way he acted when he drank)

About september of 2004, the husband was "deployed" to a military post in Oklahoma for a 8 month tour. My wife and I sort of adopted the wife and kids while he was gone. We had them over for Thanksgiving, we went to a swing party with her on Halloween, we bought presents for the kids at Christmas...

The husband came for Christmas 2004 on leave. We all went to the airport in the snow to pick him up. His 3 year old daughter grabbed him around the neck and wouldn't let go. However, he didn't get anything for any for the kids or his wife and when they got home, he told her that he wanted a divorce.

It seems that he met some "Hunny" in OK who was making herself available to him. He actually said that there was no reason for him to stay in the marriage. (I here remind you of the 3 year old daughter mentioned earlier)

Well, my wife and I consoled her as best we could, did whatever we could to help the kids, and tried to think up inventive ways to torture him should they ever make it legal to do so. He ended up staying in OK long enough to establish residency, got a quickie divorce, and mailed her the papers.

Now, he is trying to get custody of the daughter. He is using his wife having been in the lifestyle as a indicator of her being unfit as a parent even though it was his idea in the first place. The wife has a good job (nurse), adequate childcare, a nice place to live, and is even thinking of moving down here to FLA to be near us as we all miss each other. If there were anyone that my wife and I would consider becoming Poly with, it would be her.

So, anyway, just wanted to get this story off my chest. my wife and I will continue to emotionally support the wife as best as we can.

Have any of you guys ever had a similar experience?

[Edison Carter]

Well, this is the sort of thing she needs to take up with her attorney. A good divorce lawyer has heard it all, so she should not be embarassed. And, if they're both deposed on the subject the fact that he initiated the activity will play with the Judge. And, frankly, the Judge has heard it all too. He'll realize they're both not Saints. That being said, you may be asked to testify in either a depostion or even a trial. The key thing is to stand your ground as this was part of a consensual and positive sexual relationship. Her lawyer should also look into the rules for adulterous behavior of a soldier. The military really frowns on divorce and I believe she may be entitled to half his pension and other benefits. Regardless, I'm not a lawyer and she needs to get a very competent one.

[Deptydog]

Oh yeah, she has a good lawyer. My wife and I aren't too worried about him getting custody as she is a fantastic parent, and judjes in VA, where she lives, don't take kids away from mothers without a very good reason.

I just wondered if anybody else has had a similar situation. I know that this guy gives soldiers, swingers, and men in general a bad name.

[In2curiosity]

Originally Posted by Deptydog

Oh yeah, she has a good lawyer. My wife and I aren't too worried about him getting custody as she is a fantastic parent, and judjes in VA, where she lives, don't take kids away from mothers without a very good reason.

I just wondered if anybody else has had a similar situation. I know that this guy gives soldiers, swingers, and men in general a bad name.

Actually if she live in our county in VA the judge really has already heard it. A good freidn of ours went through a visitation battle from hell and they both had played with others. The lifestyle was brought up in court (luckily the lawyers asked for a private hearing which is the norm in Juvenile and Domestic court here) and it didn't seem to have any bearing on the case. Although I will tell you that after working as a legal assistant for 12 years that if you guys did enter into a relationship where you lived under the same roof with the child she would fight an uphill battle. It might just be where I live but the judges really frown on overnight guests or living toghether when the child is in the house. But you have my vote.....this guy is a total creep.

[Uomo]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

Well, this is the sort of thing she needs to take up with her attorney. A good divorce lawyer has heard it all, so she should not be embarassed. And, if they're both deposed on the subject the fact that he initiated the activity will play with the Judge. And, frankly, the Judge has heard it all too. He'll realize they're both not Saints. That being said, you may be asked to testify in either a depostion or even a trial. The key thing is to stand your ground as this was part of a consensual and positive sexual relationship. Her lawyer should also look into the rules for adulterous behavior of a soldier. The military really frowns on divorce and I believe she may be entitled to half his pension and other benefits. Regardless, I'm not a lawyer and she needs to get a very competent one.

Excellent advice. My sentiments exactly -- Attorney "Uomo"

[JakenReenie]

I'm not a lawyer and I don't play one on TV. That being said, it's been my experience (not personally) that divorce courts don't want to hear anything about sexual practices, sex lives, etc., unless the child is somehow involved. In this case, it appears that the child has been sheltered from all adult activities. Therefore, the parents' sexual practices should have no bearing on the case.

But as everyone else said, get a good attorney and for God's sake, tell him exactly what's going on. Holding back information or worse, lying, to your attorney is the dumbest thing a client can do. Remember, he's on your side, and for him to help you he needs complete and accurate information.