Lifestyle Nightmare: Where Were the Hosts?

[WildMiCouple]

Originally Posted by Uomo

What life might have been, had fate taken a different direction ... that's all. A romantic fantasy or escape. I don't want to steal your wife from you (forever) ... just for a few hours, an evening (or two)

Ahhhhhhh.....good ole fate. The convenient way to say it's not your fault, as it was pre-destined :rollseyes Uomo, the choices one makes in life dictates which roads you travel. And it looks like your choosing the low road

Originally Posted by Uomo

A romantic fantasy or escape. I don't want to steal your wife from you (forever) ... just for a few hours, an evening (or two).

That doesn't sit all too well with you, now does it? No ... I didn't think so.

Makes not one bit of difference to me. I do know that Tammy would certainly put you in your place, once she saw through you BS

Originally Posted by Uomo

But give me this much: I'm honest. Honest to a fault.

One good virtue does not excuse an ugly one.

Brett

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Uomo

I'm fairly confident in saying I'm much better at it than most men (and I do speak from some experience here). Now don't get me wrong here ... I don't know a damn thing about your love-life.

Maybe that's why Mrs Spoomonkey cries herself to sleep every night...



Just kidding... This thread begs a sense of humor if one is to keep reading it...

I am afraid that - if you really think that swinging husbands are threatened by you, and therefore not allowing their wives to get out of their sight - then you are truely delusional...

Mrs Spoomonkey read this and asked "where in the world is he getting the evidence for this type of generalization?" My answer - I have no idea... But I suspect you are making it up to overinflate your ego...

Seriously, Don Juan types are a dime a dozen... You're only special in your own mind, I'm afraid...

What bothers me most about your post is not that you have some bizarre belief that you are a love god of sorts - but what this does say about the relationship you DO have at home. I have to say that - while I do have some great sex with playmates from time to time - I would never have the energy to make love to anyone else... The 24 hours per day that I spend making love to my wife doesn't allow me the time...

Making love is more than candles and wine - those things are easy and can even by picked up at a truck stop... Making love is something you do with your entire life - all of yourself, given to another. It is hard to splash that around...

Spoomonkey

[WildMiCouple]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Making love is more than candles and wine - those things are easy and can even by picked up at a truck stop

Note to self......stop at the truck stop next time I'm romancing the wife

Brett

[good times]

I agree with what the others have said so will only make one other comment about your off-premise club visit.

If your wife is not into swinging it is usually pretty obvious, even from clear across a room. We can spot couples with a reluctant spouse within minutes of their arrival at the club and have noticed that most club patrons will avoid these couples like the plague. So it is no surprise to me, given you and your wifes situation, as you described it, that not anyone went out of their way to introduce themselves to you.

We have also met others with similar expectations as you seem to have, and that too, is like a big red flag hanging around your neck. Every once in a while we will have someone approach my wife to play seperately when I am off to the bar or restroom. It is no surprise later to here them lamenting about how everyone is giving them the brush off. Like you they have no clue of what the lifestyle is about and can't understand why these horny women aren't jumping all over them.

Lastly, contrary to your delusions, I would guess most men in the lifestyle are much better lovers to their wives than you are capable of because most of us understand that it is about communication, sensitivity, and emotional connection, and has nothing to do with how good looking we are, how much money we have, or what kind of car we drive. You obviously don't get it, and I'm not just talking about swinging here.

I do agree with you on one thing though, interesting discussion here.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by WildMiCouple

Note to self......stop at the truck stop next time I'm romancing the wife

Brett - that piece of advice is actually going to be a part of my next book: How To Make Love To A Woman Without Going More Than 200 Yards Off Of I-70.

You basically have the gist of the first chapter

In the next chapter, I cover the gourmet appeal of nachos supreme and one of those spin-grilled sausage-dogs...

Spoomonkey

[Uomo]

Surrender Surrender Surrender

Okay ... I got it. I'm completely full of myself ... borderline delusional, maybe. I'm so bad in bed my sorry ass (and a can of lube) couldn't satisfy a shit-faced I-70 trucker. Happy? Just let up on the punches a little. I'm dying over here.

Surrender Surrender Surrender

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Uomo

and if the little lady gets used to "making love" and she isn't getting it from her man ... that's a problem.

You are 100% correct in that statement.

BUT ..... The women in the swinging lifestyle (those who chose to be there, not those who are coerced by their husbands to be) are being "made love" to every day. It's because of this that we are free enough to "have sex" with others. We're not looking for a romantic encounter because we are romanced every day.

Originally Posted by Uomo

How do you win over a married woman? Become to her everything ... her husband is not.

That's just it dear...the wives in the swinging lifestyle already have everything they want...NO ONE could become for me everything my husband is not, he is EVERYTHING to me. (Okay, I guess they could be a total asshole who treated me like dirt )

The thing about swinging that I think you're not getting is that we are in this not because we are missing something in our relationship...it's because of the relationship that we have that allows us to swing.

Originally Posted by Uomo

How many men would let their wives run away on a sensual date with Mr. tall, dark handsome and successful?

Honey, I run away with Mr. Tall, dark, handsome and successful every weekend. Hell, sometimes we even invite couples, single men and single women to join us.

Seriously...the type of women that you are looking for probably won't be found in swinging. Not saying that they're not out there, it's just not a common thing in this lifestyle.


Teresa

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Uomo

Just let up on the punches a little. I'm dying over here.

Well, come on, Uomo...

When you post the types of things you have posted - even acknowledging that you know the daggers are about to fly - putting down every swinging husband on the board in an attempt to make yourself look worthy of us simply forking over our wives for you to fork them all you want... (Mostly because we aren't very good and they deserve better - and by that, you mean you)

What exactly were you expecting?

Spoomonkey

[Uomo]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Well, come on, Uomo...

When you post the types of things you have posted - even acknowledging that you know the daggers are about to fly ... What exactly were you expecting?

Spoomonkey

I know. All is fair ... in love and war. If you have more on its way for me, I'll grab my ankles and take it like a man. I'm not trying to offend ... but ... I seem to have a bad habit of doing it anyway. Sorry if I did. You guys (and gals) are all great people ... I really think the world of you.

[Uomo]

Originally Posted by TNT

That's just it dear...the wives in the swinging lifestyle already have everything they want...NO ONE could become for me everything my husband is not, he is EVERYTHING to me. Teresa

Your sentiments are genuinely touching ... I am happy for the both of you. Thank you for sharing. You sound like a very lucky woman, and ... you're right ... when that kind of magical chemistry exists, not a man in the world could come close. I'd be ashamed to even attempt it. God Bless -- Uomo

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by Uomo

That's kind of what I'm afraid of ... I most certainly AM looking to "get romantic" with your spouse ... and (here's goes nothing) ... I'm fairly confident in saying I'm much better at it than most men (and I do speak from some experience here). I think that most men would get freaked out if they saw me romancing (and getting privately intmate with) their wives. You are right ... I don't want sex ... I want to make love (or something close to it) ... and if the little lady gets used to "making love" and she isn't getting it from her man ... that's a problem.

Now don't get me wrong here ... I don't know a damn thing about your love-life. Maybe you are a magnificent candleight lover? But most men ... are not. Good at sex (hopefully) ... but not so good at making love. How do you win over a married woman? Become to her everything ... her husband is not. I know it works. I've played this game for fun before (with limits). It works like magic.

That's why I still have a hard time envisioning success in the lifestyle (notwithstanding uplifting accounts such as Pepper's expereinces with single males). I am looking to take intimacy to a level where most couples in the lifestyle (quite frankly) would probably be uncomfortable. Again, correct me if I am wrong? How many men would let their wives run away on a sensual date with Mr. tall, dark handsome and successful? I think my approach is well-suited for the desperate housewives set ... but I think its beyond the bounds of a comfortable swing. Hell, even the women might be a little uncomfortable here (... but I also think there are those who would prefer it).

Thoughts? ( ... here come the daggers, for certain).

Unomo (btw, for those who didn't noticed, it's "man" in Italian... you pick as nickname the whole male gender, wow, what an ego!)

Reading this I wonder why aren't you running a scorting service for unsatisfied wyfes. You will got everithing you want to get, plus some money!

You started telling what happend with your first experience, pointing out your supposed "observations", when in fact since you didn't related to anyone, you didn't had the chance to observe anything yet, so you're trying to sell that you have a grounded opinion when the only you have is a set prejudice feeded with your swollen ego, that you wanted to reasure in that event and you still want to reasure looking for someone here able to admit how right you are about this.

You started giving us all the best guidelines on how lifestyle's clubs should arrange the event... to make it fit with what YOU think the lifestyle is or should be, insthead of asking why you didn't seem to fit in there.

The fact is, you're here to give us advice, and perhaps to convince us about YOUR very personal and limited definition for "swinging", i.e. that we're couples with troubles that look outside our marriage those things we are not able to provide to our partners. Should we convince about that, we could spread the voice and you may have a better luck next time. That would make you happy?

The hilarious think here is that the only way you may arrive to your point of view about this lifestyle, whitout knowing anything about it, is by means of thinking of yourself and your own marriage. I't seems you have a hard time getting some romance from your own wyfe (since you said it's not just about sex), thus, everyone's else that had the same problem gathered to solve it as swingers. And again, if you are unable to get some romance from your wyfe, what makes you believe you'll get some of it from someone's else wyfe?

Another prejudice of you is that the "Uomos" are the ones driving the action. Again from your own experience you conclude that every guy in the lifestyle is looking for what his spouse is unable to provide to him (but not to you, because you're macho enough to bring females wild side to the surface... ouch, except for your own wyfe, perhaps).

The fact is, women are the ones having the last word here. If you didn't scored, don't blame the hubbies. Even for those who may be looking for single males (even this isn't your case), the decition is made ultimatelly by the ladies.

BTW, perhaps I have to remark I used the word "LADIES", because you may even believe you'd deal with sluts. And of course, your wyfe isn't one because she doesn't want to participate, and BTW I wonder how much of this has to do about the way you think of swingers. What else she would tell you? If she ever admit she'd like to be with another man, that would lead you to conclude you're unable to please her enough, and giving your ego size, such an scratch would make you blow up.

I would like your wyfe to register in this forum, read this thread, and post their coments. Even being so confident about yourself, I bet you won't dare to invite her here.

Just for you to know, swinging has more to do with communication than with sex, both inside the couple and with other partners. Communication means to LISTEN and PAY ATTENTION, to get concerned about what everyone involced needs and wants, to be respectfull about their toughts and the way they see the lifestyle and their own marriage, EVEN IF YOU DISAGREE.

No one cares about your oppinion on how disfunctional their marriages could be, and everyone here will PROTECT and TREASURE their marriages with all the odds they may have. Moreover, if you plan to point out your oppinion, you'll get kiked from BOTH the hubby and the wyfe, because they're not looking for any sort of therapy or advertisement from unknown people, EVEN if that unknown one were you and you were right in your "observations".

Sadly for you, here you cannot be the bellybutton of the world... THE Uomo.

I expect your wyfe to participate in this thread.

[Uomo]

Strange ... how I'm actually becoming quite fond of the group (all things considered). Who knows? I might someday drop in at another lifestyle event ... just to hang out and be social. Who cares if nothing comes of it? Knowing what I know now, I think I'd have just as much fun kicking it back and dancing the night away with my wife. Hell ... I've never practiced the waltz next to 20 people in leather thongs. Could be entertaining.

[TNT]

That would be us, and I've seen it done. Room for everyone.

Ted

[Uomo]

Originally Posted by sereneiders

Unomo (btw, for those who didn't noticed, it's "man" in Italian... you pick as nickname the whole male gender, wow, what an ego!)

Uomo is just a shortened version of the nickname I typically use eslewhere: "Uomo Universale." It is Italian for "Universal Man" (e.g. Leonardo deVinci) or "Rennasaince Man" (e.g. Ben Franklin). When I picked that nickname it had nothing to do with my opinion of myself (sexually) ... just something I'd like to aspire to become as I age. That's all.

Originally Posted by sereneiders

BTW, perhaps I have to remark I used the word "LADIES", because you may even believe you'd deal with sluts. And of course, your wyfe isn't one because she doesn't want to participate, and BTW I wonder how much of this has to do about the way you think of swingers. I would like your wyfe to register in this forum, read this thread, and post their coments. Even being so confident about yourself, I bet you won't dare to invite her here.

I never insinuated anything derogatory of the lifestyle community or its membership. If anything, I believe the "lifestyle" community to be more socially enlightened than the "moral majority" or the average couple on the street. I am Clinton-loving Democrat and a card carrying member of the ACLU. I love what you all do and wish there were more people like you who had the courage to act. Diversity is the lifeblood of freedom. I think (and agree) that the word "Ladies" is both appropriate and fitting. You've got the right attitude ... but the wrong impression of me.

Mrs. Uomo ??? You're right. I can take a good beating over the internet just fine and well ... but a bona-fide beating? Only if it is S&M night at the Uomo household. You're right. I might not have the courage to pull that one off. I'll have to think about it. She tells me she's poked around on the site once or twice. I shudder to think just maybe ... yikes!

I can only imagine the posts that would follow ...

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Uomo

Thoughts? ( ... here come the daggers, for certain).

Anybody got a dart board? <EG>

Originally Posted by Uomo

... I most certainly AM looking to "get romantic" with your spouse ... and (here's goes nothing) ... I'm fairly confident in saying I'm much better at it than most men (and I do speak from some experience here). I think that most men would get freaked out if they saw me romancing (and getting privately intmate with) their wives. You are right ... I don't want sex ... I want to make love (or something close to it) ... and if the little lady gets used to "making love" and she isn't getting it from her man ... that's a problem.

Honey, please!! :rollseyes You are looking at the wrong set of women here. Oh, I'm sure there are enough doe-eyed bunnies out there whose partners are as clueless as they are - they're a dime a dozen - but you won't find many here. If you pulled that attitude on me (or quite a few women on this board I could name off the top of my head), you would either be laughed at and dumped on your ass at the door because of your disrespect towards my husband, or you'd be played like a fiddle, fucked, and left holding the covers around your chin shouting "Call me!" as the door slammed shut behind me at the Sleazy Beaver motel. And that's your best case scenario. We are not desperate women who are disatisfied with the lovin' we get at home. The reality is that we would've seen the white band of skin on your ring finger where your wedding band usually is, and that would've been the end of the conversation right there.

Originally Posted by Uomo

Now don't get me wrong here ... I don't know a damn thing about your love-life.

Obviously.

Originally Posted by Uomo

Maybe you are a magnificent candleight lover? But most men ... are not. Good at sex (hopefully) ... but not so good at making love. How do you win over a married woman? Become to her everything ... her husband is not. I know it works. I've played this game for fun before (with limits). It works like magic.

That's why I still have a hard time envisioning success in the lifestyle (notwithstanding uplifting accounts such as Pepper's expereinces with single males). I am looking to take intimacy to a level where most couples in the lifestyle (quite frankly) would probably be uncomfortable. Again, correct me if I am wrong? How many men would let their wives run away on a sensual date with Mr. tall, dark handsome and successful?

No discomfort here. Just a vague nausea. If you were single (which you aren't, so this wouldn't ACTUALLY happen), I think Mr. intuition would likely smile and say, "Be my guest!" and then remind me not to play too rough with you. I get the impression that you think lifestyle women are unhappy and desperate, and that the men are weak and impotent, unable to retain their women. Sit back and think about it...honestly...is that what you really think?

Originally Posted by Uomo

I think my approach is well-suited for the desperate housewives set ... but I think its beyond the bounds of a comfortable swing. Hell, even the women might be a little uncomfortable here (... but I also think there are those who would prefer it).

Yes, I think what you're looking for is an actual affair. You seem to get off on the idea that you're one-upping some other man, or have something over him. That is a sign of insecurity if you ask me. Who are you trying to convince?

I apologize for coming down on you like a ton of bricks; I usually am very nice. But we have little tolerance for inflated egos. We just don't like them.