Any horror stories out there?

[kittylikesmfm]

i am new here, and my husband and i have never swung (well, i never realized the term until this site, but we have engaged in soft-swinging, but no actual sex as a couple with others)

anyway, we like webcams and would probably be suspcious of someone that wouldn't show on cam if we were planning to meet anyway. if we were that interested in someone online and they didn't have one or weren't computer savvy, i'd send them a $20 plug'n'go one.

this brave new world has basically eliminated having to meet someone you aren't physically attracted to.

[janaandjames]

Here's my question...
For the first time, was it ever scary/traumatic/difficult etc. from seeing your SO getting it from someone else?

Perhaps this should bea new thread ?

I just wanted to say that the first time you see your SO getting it from someone else is rather traumatic .. even if you are not jealous ..
i recommend starting slow..
watch each other touch, and be touched.
do thata few times, then maybe try oral.
work you way up to intercourse so its not such a shock.

jana

[WesternSwing]

Wow. When Mrs. WS and I decided we were going to get into swinging we joined AFF and met a couple on there whom we wanted to meet. We went to dinner, all went well, they invited us back to their house for drinks and hot tubbing. When we got to their house we were all drinking and the other husband turned the conversation to politics which pissed-off his wife. Well, everything settled down, they offered us some robes to change into and we went in the bathroom. While we were changing and going "oh my God, oh my God, oh my God" to each other we heard our hosts start to argue in the bedroom next to us. It was heated. Very heated. Then they come out like nothing happened and we all get in the hot tub.

Once in it was quite clear that she had now turned-off to the whole evening. He reaches across and tweaks Mrs. WS's nipple like that was supposed to turn her on. This was not going well. We all get out of the hot tub and he puts in a Heart concert video and starts rocking out to it. She says she is tired and we have to leave now. Right now. We barely had time to put our clothes on as she was shuffling us out the door into the snow.

Thank God the next couple was incredible!

Mr. WS

[magiriano]

Our first two experiences swinging attempts were bad, we posted about it.
As for first time meetings?
We met this very experienced couple who, when we explained that due to our horrible first exp we're not ready to go full swap but wanna take things slow, start with soft and take it from there, just plain told us that they don't have the patience for that.
It was ok tho, compared to the next couple we met:
He was a sweetheart, we both liked him, however was she in a catty mood.
When my wife mentioned that she looked like one of he gf's, she simply went ballistic, something along the lines"I'm nothing like your friend, I'd never be friends with you"
Oh yeah we also met this cpl where he was such an uninhibited guy online, however, when we met in person, both my wife and I couldn't shake the cop vibe we got from him.
Turns out he was an ex army, great guy, she was awesome, however the cop thing was a turn off for us both.......
And then we met this couple that we fell in love with: down to earth, outspoken, intelligent......We set up a sleep over for the next Sat, couldn't met to meet them, chatted some more and planned all the details.........Anyway, the canceled on us Fri Night then turned off their AFF profile.
We were both so disappointed that we never broughtup the swinging subject ever since.
My wife and I still talk about E and S (the last cpl we met) every now and then and wander what it would've been like?

[SecretAsianMan]

The only really BAD experiences I've had were the "no shows" with no follow up messages or emails. (Attempts by me to contact them were ignored as well)

Even if the chemistry isn't there for an encounter - I can usually at least have a good time with them over dinner or a drink or two.

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by magiriano

Our first two experiences swinging attempts were bad, we posted about it.
As for first time meetings?
We met this very experienced couple who, when we explained that due to our horrible first exp we're not ready to go full swap but wanna take things slow, start with soft and take it from there, just plain told us that they don't have the patience for that.
It was ok tho, compared to the next couple we met:
He was a sweetheart, we both liked him, however was she in a catty mood.
When my wife mentioned that she looked like one of he gf's, she simply went ballistic, something along the lines"I'm nothing like your friend, I'd never be friends with you"
Oh yeah we also met this cpl where he was such an uninhibited guy online, however, when we met in person, both my wife and I couldn't shake the cop vibe we got from him.
Turns out he was an ex army, great guy, she was awesome, however the cop thing was a turn off for us both.......
And then we met this couple that we fell in love with: down to earth, outspoken, intelligent......We set up a sleep over for the next Sat, couldn't met to meet them, chatted some more and planned all the details.........Anyway, the canceled on us Fri Night then turned off their AFF profile.
We were both so disappointed that we never broughtup the swinging subject ever since.
My wife and I still talk about E and S (the last cpl we met) every now and then and wander what it would've been like?

Just like in real life you are going to meet people that you do not get along with. For all three of your experiences we would have just moved on. The first was clearly not a match in compatibility..happens all of the time. The second was the other couples problem not yours. And even the third...people cancel and disappear all of the time. And in cases where people have canceled in odd was we are relieved in hindsight as what would have happened if we HAD met..probably would have been worse.

We've learned alot of things in a year, but a few bubble up to the top: 1) There is never a rush..if things don't happen then it was not meant to be. We're not looking for life partners..just a fun time. 2) Never get so wrapped up in a couple that the no show or them changing their mind is a huge let down. Sure it can be disappointing, but there's always they next opportunity. (now if that were a long time friend relationship of course it's a different emotional situation)

*magiriano just came across your post with a guy not taking no for an answer. That is a truly bad experience. My advice above is for tranressions of much less severity.