Expect the Unexpected

[michelle101]

Originally Posted by CB_n_Red

What shame? There is nothing intrinsically shameful about swinging. You may find it shameful but it is not such a good idea make such a moral judgement on someone else's choices in life.



Or conversely, we should live life to the full, as did the individual we are considering. At least it would appear he had no hang ups about his life.

CB

My thoughts as well! No shame there, just a guy enjoying life.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

Spoo, there will most likely be some discretion. I am in the health care field and we usually practice necessary discretion in "sticky" situations.

Good - because as we all know - some out there will be more worried about where he died than that he died. His family needs peace and comfort, not the judgement of the small minded.

Spoomonkey

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Good - because as we all know - some out there will be more worried about where he died than that he died. His family needs peace and comfort, not the judgement of the small minded.

Spoomonkey

Dito The negativity of small minded people is the very thing that perpetuates grief. "Shame, shame, shame!" I don't like that word. I prefer humility. Wallowing in the fact that we are all imperfect does nothing for anyone. Accepting it, getting over it, and getting on with life - living as fully to our potential as we humanly can - is a worthwhile endeavour. A religious comment here: While feelings of shame can, do, and should arise at having 'trespassed against' one another, I doubt that God is more pleased with an ashamed person than a humble one.

My first thought at reading Dave's post...well aside from shock...was Wow! If I'm gonna go, I can't think of a better way than to die shakin' what my momma gave on a dance floor, laughing and living life to the fullest, with someone that I dearly love laughing and living right beside me (and for those of you who might be confused about who I mean, I mean my husband. :rollseyes ).

The fact that he died doing something he loved probably still comes as cold comfort to his family. Being the surviving spouse is bad, no matter how you look at it. Dave, if you're talking to her again, please let her know that there are a whole lot of people she's never met who are sending her their thoughts and prayers.

[DaveNSheila]

Thank you all for your support. Intuition I will let her know. We only knew their first names and knew them only in a club setting. We didn't exchange numbers or get real specifics about everyday life, we chatted a bit about everyday life but nothing real if you know what I mean. I am sure that it wont be mentioned about a swinger club it is an off premises club so everyone was dressed, been looking in the paper to find out any info as far as when the services are and all nothing as of yet. Found out that they were on a yahoo swing club group that we are on as well and that they live in the same city we do so they are fairly close to us. Thanks again to all for the heart felt sympathies, when I get the chance will let the surviving spouse know. D

[pixieandelf7]

That's really horrible. I'm so sorry you had to witness that. Hugs.

[Paramour2_99]

To Dave and Sheila

Have you checked in on the deceased guy's wife? How is she holding up?

I sincerely hope her mourning is short. Sincerely "X" Swinger

[DaveNSheila]

The service was yesterday and we saw the wife(made eye contact) and that was all. We knew them from the club and didnt exchange any info as ways to meet outside of the club. We left a card at the funeral home for the wife to get and put one of our business cards in it for her to call us if needed. From what we could tell we were the only ones from the swinger life there and we didnt make it known where we knew them from or anything like that. This is the first time having to sort of deal with this so not sure really how to go about it. I mean we understand death and the grieving process and all so wont do anything like that. We knew the couple and would socialize everytime we saw each other timing as far as playing was just off. Now well that is another story. We are hoping that the wife will call us not to play but to just chat and maybe we can build something out and away from the club. If not then hopefully we see her sometime eventually at a club and we can once again chat where everyone is comfortable. Thank you again all for your support and thoughts. D

[Sunswept]

Originally Posted by DaveNSheila

....We left a card at the funeral home for the wife to get and put one of our business cards in it for her to call us if needed. From what we could tell we were the only ones from the swinger life there and we didnt make it known where we knew them from or anything like that. This is the first time having to sort of deal with this so not sure really how to go about it.

Never been in that situation either, but I think what you did is what I would have done. Letting her know you are there, are open if she wants to talk to you, but giving her lots of space. I think this was a very classy and sensative way for you to handle things, I think it is what I would have wanted you to do if I were her.

[jnbsmokin]

It's awful, but at least it didn't sound painful. We are sorry for the loss, but as others have said, it is good that he had enjoyed his last moments and he left his wife with a somewhat happy memory.

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by jnbsmokin

It's awful, but at least it didn't sound painful. We are sorry for the loss, but as others have said, it is good that he had enjoyed his last moments and he left his wife with a somewhat happy memory.

How sweet! Happy memories indeed! I'm sure that in the years to come, she will smile when she recalls the many details of their last night together! Except for the part where she found him face-down in the meatballs and potato salad, of course.

I just wish more people would post positive, upbeat stories like this one!