You'd think after 7 years: We'd know better!

[De and Ci]

Heck, that fact that he wasn't allowed to touch you guys at all but she could do anything-that would have been enough for us to send them packing!
And they sneaking into the bathroom for a smoke-what a bunch of clowns!
Actually if this happened to us-we probably would be laughing our asses off

[JustAskJulie]

Just shows that no matter how much experience you have, sometimes it's easy to ignore the signs.

[JnCC]

jcbicouple -

NONONONO!!

I'm not saying you're ugly! I mean, maybe you are, but I would certainly have no way of knowing that now, would I? My point was, that we often make exceptions for rude behavior or "inappropriate" people based on appearance alone. I'm as guilty of that as anybody...I just stayed in a relationship for...well, for WAYYY to long, just because the woman had a pair of legs that went all the way to the top floor, an ass befitting her legs, and the nicest pair of...

Wait a second, this is your thread, not mine.

Take another look at the information you gave us about these people. You started by saying "the woman is very outgoing and very pretty" Okay...let's give her 3 points for appearance and 2 for personality.

Then, you go on to say the "husband is OK-not your type".............0 points
You kiss, and she reeks of alcohol........................................... ..-1
They are slightly rude.............................................. ...............-1
They "don't look too in love"............................................. .......-1
They're "not getting along"............................................ ..........-1
They both smoke, and you don't............................................. .-2 (one point each)
They try to get you to change your mind about letting them smoke.-2 (BIG disrespect)
She's setting the rules while he's in the biffy...............................-2 ('nuther biggie)
She's very jealous of him............................................... ..........-3 (RED FLAGS!)
He can't play (He's not ALLOWED, not because he "chooses not to")-2

Okay, at this point you still haven't climbed in the sack with them, and they're down 10 points by my count. What do you do? You decide to hop in the sack with them anyway. Why? It MUST be because she's "very pretty," since you didn't list one good reason for doing it otherwise. So, back to my original point...

If this girl had been "average," as in "you could take it or leave it" average, would you have overlooked that many danger signals from them?

I'm kinda laughing, as we've all made the same mistake, and most of us will make it again

[jcbicouple]

We can explain a little.

Then, you go on to say the "husband is OK-not your type".............0 points
He was clean and attractive, just not someone we would really be interested in having sex with alone (We also meet single males and tend to be pretty picky). But we still agree 0 points.
You kiss, and she reeks of alcohol........................................... ..-1
We hadn't drank at all, so thought maybe it was just because we hadn't, and they were out to have a good time. Lots of people drink when they go out. They weren't acting real drunk, but normally, you're right we don't play with people that have been drinking when we haven't. Mostly because it's usually an instant turn off, it didn't have that affect when smelled...so didn't worry about it then. Still probably a bad move. We'll say 0 points again.
They are slightly rude.............................................. ...............-1
ok. This should have been a big red flag! We blew it off as they hadn't really talked about being with another couple that night, and needed some discussion. Agree: -1
They "don't look too in love"............................................. .......-1
Agreed! -1
They're "not getting along"............................................ ..........-1
Definite Red flag! But we were already at the hotel parking lot at this point: No excuse though. Have to disagree with the rating anyway. That was a -2 in our book. Very bad move!
They both smoke, and you don't............................................. .-2 (one point each)
This wouldn't have been a real big issue. They put the cigarrettes out, and we thought they were ok with our not allowing smoking in the room. So we say 0
They try to get you to change your mind about letting them smoke.-2 (BIG disrespect)
We agree, but as we said above: We thought they were ok with it once we were past the our (as in j & I) not wanting it in the room: Not just the hotel. Still agree -2
She's setting the rules while he's in the biffy...............................-2 ('nuther biggie)
Some people are more comfortable that way: Easily ignored. They aren't the first we've found to talk "rules" while the other isn't there. Sometimes one of them doesn't like the "discussion" part. We wouldn't prefer it, but there are a lot of things others do that we wouldn't prefer. Besides, since she was laying in the bed at this point: He could have just been washing up! So....still a 0 though. we're still losing here!
She's very jealous of him............................................... ..........-3 (RED FLAGS!)
Agreed! -3
He can't play (He's not ALLOWED, not because he "chooses not to")-2
Yep! Can't argue that! Big old -2! (Probably should be a -3 but we're losing too bad to give up the extra point!)
Okay, at this point you still haven't climbed in the sack with them, and they're down 10 points by my count.
This is where you are incorrect: We were laying on the bed, pretty much "in the sack" when half of this occured! Shoes off: Granted pants on, but still! #2 was in the parking lot headed for the hotel, and the rest was over the course of an entire 30 minutes including the drive! By the time she told us he wasn't allowed to play, she was in our bed already! No indication that they weren't interested in more prior to that!
What do you do? You decide to hop in the sack with them anyway.
Why? It MUST be because she's "very pretty," since you didn't list one good reason for doing it otherwise. So, back to my original point...
If this girl had been "average," as in "you could take it or leave it" average, would you have overlooked that many danger signals from them?
1st, We used your previous comment in another post about this because you brought to light another testamonial for the board and everything we say on here about looks:
We hadn't thought about this at all, or really noticed what she really/physically (for lack of a better way to say it) looked like until you posted your previous comment (the one we asked about). Her personality made her very pretty, and up until we were at the room (or at least the hotel) they seemed fine, and like a lot of fun. To us she was beautiful: Had we seen a picture and not met her......She would not have been "all that".... "average" at best. It was the way she acted and the personality she portrayed BEFORE we went to the hotel that attracted us. We'll be the 1st one's to admit that we prefer attractive playmates, and we mostly go by looks since most of our meetings are through the internet. We have no interest in meeting the people from there unless there is a sexual attraction, but when we meet people in person: It changes the perspective. This happened to be one of those cases.

Sooooo.....can we tell you why we overlooked the warning signs? Nah, we just screwed up. We've turned down many people that were far more physically attractive for far lesser sins. Maybe it was just because the bad all happened in such a short amount of time? How far into it we were when they started adding up? Who knows: It certainly wasn't because we wanted to sleep with someone "better looking" than us, and it wasn't because they were so good looking we couldn't turn it down. Can't imagine anyone being so attractive that we can't say no.
Guess we just forgot how to do math fast. lol!

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by jcbicouple

Guess we just forgot how to do math fast. lol!

Well guys, guess you're going to have to keep a score card and calculator with you from now on.

In the past, I've had single dates that seemed great at first and then BOOM!, they suddenly turned into someone I wanted to run away from.

Some people project a great first image and it takes awhile to see their true self. It could happen to any of us. Thanks for posting!

[Miss_Piggy]

I guess there is a fine line in swinging between recognising that someone is bad news and giving them the benefit of the doubt. You can't really be blamed for this one J & C. Perhaps you *should* have known better, but you gave them a chance dispite a few things and it didn't work out. We aren't going to revoke your membership for it

[JnCC]

jcbicouple -

That's kinda how I figured it went down...and although I don't really keep a "scorecard" on people, I agree that personality is one of the first things I notice about someone. With a good personality, I can overlook almost any physical or behavioral "shortcoming." Without personality, it doesn't matter what they look like, I'll never find them attractive. Every so often, I meet somebody that reminds me of that fact.

My ex- and I saw a couple at a social one time, and Oh-My-Gawd, they were knockouts! In fact, we didn't approach them, because we figured we'd be waiting in line half the night just to meet tham. But I did take her picture, sorta on the sly. She literally had the body of a young Vanna White...

The next day, we got an E-mail form these folks asking if we were the couple in the so-and-so car at check-out the next morning! "Yea, that was us!" sez I...and they said they had wanted to meet us the night before, but got sidetracked. After some e-mail tag and a couple telephone calls, we made plans for dinner, to be followed by a visit to a Dayton swing club. I couldn't believe they were interested in US! I figured we'd be doing all the driving, because they were obviously BLIND.

They came into the restaurant, and were looking great, as we knew they would. But within 2 minutes, it was clear that between them they didn't have the brains God gave a toaster. They were nice, but the lights were certainly off upstairs. I think the reason we found it so hard to converse with them was the fact that neither of them had ever read a book or a newspaper, or watched anything but sports and infomercials on TV. You don't have to have a "college degree" to be interesting, but having a freakin' PULSE certainly helps!

We hurried through dinner, and then off to the club. Yes, we got a room with them. Yes, we "did" them. And NO, they weren't bad in the sack. I think everybody's bell got rung and all. But as soon as we were done, there was just...this...awkward...silence. We thanked them and said our "Ta-Ta's!, and left shortly afterwords, not upset or feeling bad, just "not feeling as good as we thought we would" after being with a couple who was as attractive as they were.

On the way home, my wife was kinda silent. I looked over at her, she looked at me, and before she could open her mouth, I said EXACTLY what she was thinking...

WHY did we do that????

We still laugh about it to this day.

[DBL D]

Well, at least you didn't mention our names!

Just kidding. Man, I think this really gets into what Vegas Lee said about the old days. Some times you just gotta do something to someone and it is just about sex. Clearly they would not be your Number One choice for friendship.

Thanks for the story. Either we've been there or will be...all of us.

Male D