Have you had a bad experience that has almost scared you out of swinging?

[NotsoNew]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

This is called RAPE.

Where did this happen? Was it a club, a house party?

Did you kick this guys ass, or what?

I agree with Vespertine. This is not swinging, it is Rape. What happened after the fact?

[Just_us49]

Most definitely RAPE! I feel mad just reading that. It got my blood boiling! I wouldn't want to do a mfm after that either.

We have done a mfm once and have another one in the works. It wasn't a bad experience but it wasn't exactly as hot as our fantasies. The guy was a friend and we surprised him with this when he was at our house for dinner one night. He couldn't get it up, I guess he was a little nervous and overwhelmed, but he put in a great effort at trying to please me orally and with his hands. Unfortunately, his style was very different from what I enjoy. So it wasn't a bad experience in the sense that he was wierd or anything. He was very nice and courteous and he had a GREAT time. At least he said so many times afterward and the next day when he talked to hubby. I just wasn't as satisfied as I would have liked.

Other than that we have been very lucky to have good experiences.

M

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by nhcpl1968

forced my wife to have sex with him

That is pretty sick and anything forced is definintely rape. What happened afterwards? did you file a report?

[ALilOEverything]

My bad experience was our second swinging experience. He became very aggressive and pushy when things became intimate and wouldn't listen to me when I said he was hurting me. He threw me around like a sack of potatoes to get me in a different position and was so rough with his fingers he even made me bleed. It was so horrible I got up and went into the bathroom to get my head together. When I came out he had finished with his wife thankfully and left. Because our first experience had been so wonderful we kept going but if this had been my first it might have very well been my last.

[HotMoCpl]

We haven't even gotten to the club yet, but in the back of my mind this is the part that scares me the most. We've long and hard on our relationship and something like this would really hurt. It good that Julie asked this question. Its something we should all think about.

[HotMoCpl]

NHcpl1968: If this had happened to my wife, I would have her file charges. That was definitely rape. No way would I let our lifestyle stand in the way. At the very least I would post his picture and info about what he did on every swingers site I could find. That is so shamful.

[northindycpl]

I can't say that we have had anything bad... especially in comparison to others posts.

We have been involved with some Drama with a couple once, but it was minor and our involvement was not much. O would say our biggest pet peeve is with creepy single guys. (AND I know not all single guys are that way)

Our club does allow singles, and on occasion we have issues with them going where they aren't invited, acting a little more agressive then needed and generally being creepy.

But it is not expected and the club takes care of it ASAP.

I guess we are pretty fortunate!

[nhcpl1968]

we did file charges he never was found by police and i looked for him for a while never found him we had met him and talked for quit awhile before anything was to happen met him at a club it was about 3months after we met before we met at a motel room we have moved away from the area after that happened

[JakenReenie]

We've never had any bad experiences involving roughness, violence or other physical assaults but we did have two incidents involving theft.

Once, at a house party, there was one new couple among 10 couples who have known each other for a few years. We had a little gathering in the living room in the middle of the evening (with most folks in various sates of undress) to celebrate a birthday and we took a few photos. The next day, I discovered all my cash had disappeared from my wallet. (I had left my clothes in one of the bedrooms as always.) Three other guys discovered the same thing. When we looked at the birthday pics later, the female half of the new couple was nowhere to be seen in any of them.

Several years later at our own home, we had a small gathering, 4 couples, 2 of whom we had known for years, and a couple we had met twice. The woman knew that Reenie was taking perscription pain pills for a recent surgery and asked for one. Reenie gave one to her from her purse. Next day, all but three of the original 60 pain pills were gone from the bottle. The sneaky little bitch went through her purse some time during the evening.

These were not pay at the door parties where anybody with the admission fee gets in; they were private, invite only parties where we thought we knew who we were inviting.

That kind of behavior is really depressing and can cause you to lose trust in people. We are now much more cautious in how we deal with new people. It sucks that it has to be that way because this was two scuzzball couples out of several hundred that we've met over the past fifteen years. (Reenie is over my shoulder insisting that I clarify that statement. I didn't mean we have fucked several hundred people over fifteen years. Sorry, Dear, I'm sure it's no more than a few hundred. )

We've met one or two couples who have decided to engage in an argument in our presence but we weren't in bed with them at the time (thank God) and we extricated ourselves from the situation pretty quickly. And in one bizzarre occurrence, we were at a house party where a guy was so jealous and rude that he was bullying and intimidating any guy that talked to his wife, actually positioning himself between her and any guy who came near her. Needless, to say, they didn't stay long and we never heard from them again. I still can't figure out why they were there in the first place.

As we think back on it, we've been fairly luck compared to the experiences some folks have had.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by HotMoCpl

NHcpl1968: If this had happened to my wife, I would have her file charges. That was definitely rape. No way would I let our lifestyle stand in the way. At the very least I would post his picture and info about what he did on every swingers site I could find. That is so shamful.

A thought just occured to me...

Assuming they did have the guy arrested. Would a prosecutor file a criminal indictment against him, knowing that his defense would likely be that it was a consensual act. His lawyer is going to say "How can you accuse my client of rape, when he was specifically invited into their room for the purpose of having sex with them? They're swingers, for crying out loud! They do this kind of stuff all the time!"

I don't think you could get a jury to convict.

Meanwhile, the media would have had a field day with it. Their reputation in the community would be ruined. There would likely be fallout in their social and professional lives. All for the satisfaction of filing a criminal charge that would be dismissed at the preliminary hearing?

No thanks...

Then there's always the possibility of a civil suit against the couple for false arrest. They would be required to be deposed about previous swinging experiences, including names, dates, specific acts, etc.

I think this just points up the fact that no matter how careful a couple is about meeting other couples, they have to be 10 times as careful about meeting single guys. I'm saying that, and I "are" one.

Don't misunderstand...what the guy did was RAPE, no question about it. But even though swinging per se may not be illegal, as a practical matter, swingers forfeit many of the protections of the law when engaging in it.

[Vespertine]

I was thinking the exact same thing, JnCC.

Most women in that position wouldn't dare file a complaint with the police for fear of having their name publicly trashed. Not only would they have to admit to being a swinger but the reprocussions of the media getting ahold of this story would ruin her. Any good defense attorney could get the charges dropped in a snap.

That is a shame, and a good lesson for us all to be extra, extra careful.