What the hell did I get my self into? Slept with step-son

Ok...here goes. First time poster and havent desided to join yet. Husband and I have been married almost 7 years. Husbands son lived with us for almost two years when he was around 14. He comes back now at 18. I found him very attractive and he did me. No relationship together this whole time he has been gone. Not even on speaking terms. Anyway, he comes back and some how he was really wanting to make a move. There was alot of hints. I talked it over with husband and he said that he felt weird about it but go for it. So to say the least I did. Now we think he may be falling in love with me. He wants to kiss me alot and hold my hand and is always trying to kiss me in the house and in public ALOT. He has no idea that husband knows. He plans on staying with us for a couple more months to a year to get his life together. We are not sure what to do. To top this wonderful horror story off ...we have had a condom accident and so now....in two weeks we will know if it really is going to cause more problems or not. I was on my fertile time. Any suggestions? I should add that I know I am probally going to get bashed for this and I know it was wrong....I did it and now I dont know what to do......Thanks

[crestviewcpl2]

You have my deepest sympathy. I can't say anything , have no advice but I'm sorry for what you're all going through.

[wrnakedru]

Since you've acknowledged the obvious, I'm not going to address it. Your choices are your own and I hope the ones from this point forward will be better for all of you.

Having no idea what your financial situation might be, I don't know if this is possible, but if it is at all feasible, I'd suggest setting him up in a place of his own and preferrably situated around other young folks. If he is not employed at this point, obviously he would need to be. Scour garage sales and flea markets to furnish his place. Don't allow yourself the daily interaction of being his meal or laundry location.

Hopefully, the environment of his own location will strongly encourage him to establish a more clear definition for his own life. He's a bit young, but no younger than he is for what's going in your home. I think this sort of solution provides him with a better definition for his future.

WR

[Vespertine]

The first thing you need to do is STOP all interaction with this boy. Discourage any advances from him and explain to him you were wrong to promote a sexual relationship in the first place. Let him know that your husband knows and lay everything out on the table. Don't mention the possible pregnancy yet. Wait until you know for sure. This kid should not be burdened anymore than he already has been.

WR gave you some great advice. Your stepson cannot live in your home. It is an unhealthy situation for all of you.

You also mention that your husband said to "Go for it" in regards to seducing his son?
Perhaps you and your husband should look into some counseling as well.

I smell troll.

[stoutgatte]

Hmmm, me too Mr&Mrs-naughty...

IF, you are being sincere, I suggest you all go see a psychologist to help you sort out the mess you made. Good luck...

[Elusive BiFem]

Sorry, I'm like some of the others...thinking troll. But giving the benefit of doubt...

If all of this is on the up and up, why did you come to a swingers board to tell your story and ask your questions? Certainly, there are lots of things on this board that have not a thing in the world to do with swinging, but this seems a stretch. I have a really hard time buying into the fact that this child's father (and yes, in my opinion, an 18 year old boy is a child) would feel "weird" about it yet tell you to "go for it." Go for what? Seducing his son? And why in Sam Hill would you even consider doing such a thing? An 18 year old can become infatuated with a rock. IMO, you've done a horrible injustice to this child by allowing this to happen, assuming it is true...not to even mention his father and your marriage. Those years are tough enough for a kid to get through without adding an incestuous type of relationship to the mix. And yes...that's exactly what I see it as, even tho' you are not the biological mother and he may be 18. Take a look. You might find this interesting.

Like others...you need to get into counseling - all of you - you, dad, kid - post-haste. This is a family problem. You don't need to be here posting your story. Time's a-wasting.

- EBF

[Alura]

Mr. & Mrs. Naughty wrote:

I smell troll.

That was my first thought, about half-way through the post. By the end, I was convinced.

Dito to EBF.

Benefit of the doubt: Your husband is the one who made the bad decision. He should never have agreed to lighting this fire. Counseling is very important, if you can find one who will take your case.

Mr. Alura

[sensuality]

Do the words "child molester" or "incest" mean anything to you? Even though this boy was of legal age, he's still just a baby!! Temptations are everywhere,but GOOD LORD!!!You should've realized you are his MOTHER...regardless of whether it's by law or biologically. If you were a man and you had sex with your step-daughter...you wouldn't be getting even an inkling of sympathy.That being said...since things have already happened...get him out of your house...and as far away from your bed as possible.Hopefully, in time this will all blow over.But, you all need serious counseling to find out why this even ever happened in the first place.

[good times]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

I smell troll.

Yep, that same scent is wafting my way too.

[Vespertine]

I can only hope this poster is a troll.

People like this is what gives "swingers" a bad name.

[Alura]

Vespertine wrote:

People like this is what gives "swingers" a bad name.

And the bad part is that this thread is totally unrelated to swinging.

Mr. Alura

[Vespertine]

At least we can take comfort, Mr. Alura, that anyone reading this thread will know how the majority of the members on this board feel about this type of behavior.


BTW, What is your avatar a picture of? Such pretty swirls of colors!

[travelinglady]

I would like to say maturity doesn’t always go hand in hand with age. I totally agree that a. it isn’t a swinger topic and b. it’s a precarious situation.

To all those individuals that think 18 are just a baby is absurd. An eighteen year old can go to war and die for our country. Defiantly should be able to have a beer :.(

In my book he might be a man that that is inexperienced perhaps? There are lots people that are middle aged and lack good judgment and experience as well. So where is the gauge? I have known people at that age that have lived a lifetime comparatively speaking.


To compare her with a child molester is ridiculous.

I’m just a squirrel trying to get a nut so to speak so who am I?


Later,

[JustAskJulie]

Being the one who approved this thread for public view I feel it kinda necessary to post. As I began reading the post, I too initially thought "troll" and for that reason came very close to not allowing it go public. However, after reading through the post and seeing that the poster was serious enough to try posting it not once but twice (since they are unregistered and unregistered posts don't show up automatically this happens often for those who really want to get their questions out there - to the point where many times they just end up registering so that they can make their post and have it seen). This is one of those cases where I understand why someone would not want to register to post this question. If they were to choose to stick around they would forever be known as "that woman who screwed her step-son and her husband".

I feel that the post is genuine, and while the question of whether this SITUATION pertains to swinging remains, the gist that I got from reading it was that this couple (the husband and wife) are swingers. And while they obviously made a bad decision, it is really not much different than any time a couple decides they want to incorporate a younger man into their play. Often in these cases it is a guy around this age.

As far as the incest factor, the kid had not lived in their home much at all to allow any sort of parental relationship to grow. That doesn't disuade the fact that the adults should have been more responsible and made better decisions. But they already know this. So why beat a dead horse. They know they've made a bad decision, and now they want some advice on how to deal with the aftermath. I'm not saying we need to be saying "poor pitiful you" but we do need to give them the benefit of a doubt and whatever advice we can muster, which in this situation (one which most of us can't see ourselves ever facing) may be minimal.

As far as advice goes, luckily some have given some really good advice. Do whatever needs to be done to get this boy out of your house. Be honest with him and tell him his father knows (that alone might be enough to make him want to leave and to make him back off on his advances).