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What the hell did I get myself into? Slept with step-son

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Ok...here goes. First time poster and havent desided to join yet. Husband and I have been married almost 7 years. Husbands son lived with us for almost two years when he was around 14. He comes back now at 18. I found him very attractive and he did me. No relationship together this whole time he has been gone. Not even on speaking terms. Anyway, he comes back and some how he was really wanting to make a move. There was alot of hints. I talked it over with husband and he said that he felt weird about it but go for it. So to say the least I did. Now we think he may be falling in love with me. He wants to kiss me alot and hold my hand and is always trying to kiss me in the house and in public ALOT. He has no idea that husband knows. He plans on staying with us for a couple more months to a year to get his life together. We are not sure what to do. To top this wonderful horror story off ...we have had a condom accident and so now....in two weeks we will know if it really is going to cause more problems or not. I was on my fertile time. Any suggestions? I should add that I know I am probally going to get bashed for this and I know it was wrong....I did it and now I dont know what to do......Thanks

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Since you've acknowledged the obvious, I'm not going to address it. Your choices are your own and I hope the ones from this point forward will be better for all of you.

 

Having no idea what your financial situation might be, I don't know if this is possible, but if it is at all feasible, I'd suggest setting him up in a place of his own and preferrably situated around other young folks. If he is not employed at this point, obviously he would need to be. Scour garage sales and flea markets to furnish his place. Don't allow yourself the daily interaction of being his meal or laundry location.

 

Hopefully, the environment of his own location will strongly encourage him to establish a more clear definition for his own life. He's a bit young, but no younger than he is for what's going in your home. I think this sort of solution provides him with a better definition for his future.

 

WR

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The first thing you need to do is STOP all interaction with this boy. Discourage any advances from him and explain to him you were wrong to promote a sexual relationship in the first place. Let him know that your husband knows and lay everything out on the table. Don't mention the possible pregnancy yet. Wait until you know for sure. This kid should not be burdened anymore than he already has been.

 

WR gave you some great advice. Your stepson cannot live in your home. It is an unhealthy situation for all of you.

 

You also mention that your husband said to "Go for it" in regards to seducing his son?

Perhaps you and your husband should look into some counseling as well.

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Hmmm, me too Mr&Mrs-naughty...

 

IF, you are being sincere, I suggest you all go see a psychologist to help you sort out the mess you made. Good luck...

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Sorry, I'm like some of the others...thinking troll. But giving the benefit of doubt...

 

If all of this is on the up and up, why did you come to a swingers board to tell your story and ask your questions? Certainly, there are lots of things on this board that have not a thing in the world to do with swinging, but this seems a stretch. I have a really hard time buying into the fact that this child's father (and yes, in my opinion, an 18 year old boy is a child) would feel "weird" about it yet tell you to "go for it." Go for what? Seducing his son? And why in Sam Hill would you even consider doing such a thing? An 18 year old can become infatuated with a rock. IMO, you've done a horrible injustice to this child by allowing this to happen, assuming it is true...not to even mention his father and your marriage. Those years are tough enough for a kid to get through without adding an incestuous type of relationship to the mix. And yes...that's exactly what I see it as, even tho' you are not the biological mother and he may be 18.

 

Like others...you need to get into counseling - all of you - you, dad, kid - post-haste. This is a family problem. You don't need to be here posting your story. Time's a-wasting.

 

- EBF

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Mr. & Mrs. Naughty wrote:

 

I smell troll.

 

That was my first thought, about half-way through the post. By the end, I was convinced.

 

Dito to EBF.

 

Benefit of the doubt: Your husband is the one who made the bad decision. He should never have agreed to lighting this fire. Counseling is very important, if you can find one who will take your case.

 

Mr. Alura

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:nono: Do the words "child molester" or "incest" mean anything to you? Even though this boy was of legal age, he's still just a baby!! Temptations are everywhere,but GOOD LORD!!!You should've realized you are his MOTHER...regardless of whether it's by law or biologically. If you were a man and you had sex with your step-daughter...you wouldn't be getting even an inkling of sympathy.That being said...since things have already happened...get him out of your house...and as far away from your bed as possible.Hopefully, in time this will all blow over.But, you all need serious counseling to find out why this even ever happened in the first place. :eek:

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Vespertine wrote:

 

People like this is what gives "swingers" a bad name.

 

And the bad part is that this thread is totally unrelated to swinging.

 

Mr. Alura

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At least we can take comfort, Mr. Alura, that anyone reading this thread will know how the majority of the members on this board feel about this type of behavior.

 

 

BTW, What is your avatar a picture of? Such pretty swirls of colors!

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I would like to say maturity doesn’t always go hand in hand with age. I totally agree that a. it isn’t a swinger topic and b. it’s a precarious situation.

 

To all those individuals that think 18 are just a baby is absurd. An eighteen year old can go to war and die for our country. Defiantly should be able to have a beer :.(

 

In my book he might be a man that that is inexperienced perhaps? There are lots people that are middle aged and lack good judgment and experience as well. So where is the gauge? I have known people at that age that have lived a lifetime comparatively speaking.

 

 

To compare her with a child molester is ridiculous.

 

I’m just a squirrel trying to get a nut so to speak so who am I?

 

 

Later,

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Being the one who approved this thread for public view I feel it kinda necessary to post. As I began reading the post, I too initially thought "troll" and for that reason came very close to not allowing it go public. However, after reading through the post and seeing that the poster was serious enough to try posting it not once but twice (since they are unregistered and unregistered posts don't show up automatically this happens often for those who really want to get their questions out there - to the point where many times they just end up registering so that they can make their post and have it seen). This is one of those cases where I understand why someone would not want to register to post this question. If they were to choose to stick around they would forever be known as "that woman who screwed her step-son and her husband".

 

I feel that the post is genuine, and while the question of whether this SITUATION pertains to swinging remains, the gist that I got from reading it was that this couple (the husband and wife) are swingers. And while they obviously made a bad decision, it is really not much different than any time a couple decides they want to incorporate a younger man into their play. Often in these cases it is a guy around this age.

 

As far as the incest factor, the kid had not lived in their home much at all to allow any sort of parental relationship to grow. That doesn't disuade the fact that the adults should have been more responsible and made better decisions. But they already know this. So why beat a dead horse. They know they've made a bad decision, and now they want some advice on how to deal with the aftermath. I'm not saying we need to be saying "poor pitiful you" but we do need to give them the benefit of a doubt and whatever advice we can muster, which in this situation (one which most of us can't see ourselves ever facing) may be minimal.

 

As far as advice goes, luckily some have given some really good advice. Do whatever needs to be done to get this boy out of your house. Be honest with him and tell him his father knows (that alone might be enough to make him want to leave and to make him back off on his advances).

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Man alive! I was just in the process of writing a smart-mouth reply when suddenly my board went down. First thought...Geez! Julie's worse than my mother - eyes in the back of her head - she knows I'm writing a smart response and just "took me out!" :D

 

Anyway, as I was saying...Julie, what was it in the original post that made you think these people (the couple) are swingers? I saw nothing there that would indicate that to me. Am I missing something?

 

And travelinglady...while it is certainly true that 18 year olds can and do go to war and die for their country, that doesn't necessarily make it right in my book. Additionally, before they go there, they are put through some tough training to "make men out of boys." In my book, an 18 year old is a child (no, not a baby...a child). An 18 year old was a child when I was 30 and still is. Somethings never change.

 

In my book he might be a man that that is inexperienced perhaps? There are lots people that are middle aged and lack good judgment and experience as well. So where is the gauge? I have known people at that age that have lived a lifetime comparatively speaking.

 

You are right about the living a lifetime thing for some, but that is unfortunate, too.

 

This post has shades of troll written on it, but life events are sometimes much stranger, so as I said earlier...I'll give the benefit of doubt. If this woman is serious, then I still contend it is an incestuous relationship. Most (many?) states define incest as a sexual relationship with a step-parent (as well as other types) and to me, the fact that the child was absent for 4 years doesn't negate the fact that it is still a stepchild.

 

But in the end, and as travelinglady alluded to...bad judgement at the least and family counseling is still the best avenue for these folks, I do believe.

 

- EBF

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Man alive! I was just in the process of writing a smart-mouth reply when suddenly my board went down. First thought...Geez! Julie's worse than my mother - eyes in the back of her head - she knows I'm writing a smart response and just "took me out!"

- EBF

 

:rofl::rofl: !!!

 

I thought the same thing! I was in the process of really screwing up the "word association with a twist" thread. I clicked out of it for a few minutes, to compose myself, went back and I was unable to access the board.

 

I thought I was in trouble. :eek:

 

Glad I'm not the only paranoid person. :lol:

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:rofl::rofl: !!!

 

I thought the same thing! I was in the process of really screwing up the "word association with a twist" thread. I clicked out of it for a few minutes, to compose myself, went back and I was unable to access the board.

 

I thought I was in trouble. :eek:

 

Glad I'm not the only paranoid person. :lol:

 

Thanks! Makes me feel better, too. I honestly thought...well, there I go. Looks like I'm finished around here. :rofl: I kept trying to get back in and couldn't and that's when I got real paranoid. - EBF :)

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Are you paranoid or are people really out to get you?

 

 

To answer your question EBF, I got the impression these folks were swingers just from the tone of teh original post and from the fact that they had talked so openly about the idea of her and the step-son. I don't see it as such a giant leap.

 

To the original Poster: If you are still reading, please feel free to reply. While you can not reply directly in this thread without registering, you may start a new thread to reply and note that it is a reply to this thread, I will then merge the two together.

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Well I was thinking not in the line of the main post but of the post by traveling lady. EBF, I understand that you think the guy is a child. But I was wondering what the age of Traveling lady is. We are 25/26 and would consider a 18/19 year a younger person not a child. But you might a little older, maybe have children your self so I can see how you would think he is a child. So possible here that maybe a age difference in the posters can mean two different things. As in regards to the first post, I dont think anything else can be done to help here other then him leaving. But wouldn't there still be a small amount of lust/ need / regret between them if a total disconnection is not involved. You got holiday's etc that might some un-seen problems. Would you all think that a group family counselling would be good. The boy in question is a legal adult so no legal problems can come to the woman. I think it just might help get it out on the table with all three of them.

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To the original Poster: If you are still reading, please feel free to reply. While you can not reply directly in this thread without registering, you may start a new thread to reply and note that it is a reply to this thread, I will then merge the two together.

 

That's a good idea...and you might want to give us more information.

 

Why was the son out of communication with you and his father for the past 4 years and why did he suddenly come back with the intent of living with ya'll? And I'd be interested in knowing your age in relation to his. Why hasn't the father been open with him in terms of knowing what is going on between the two of you? Does your husband know about the condom accident? If you are pregant, is your husband willing to raise the child as his own? And do you have kids of your own?

 

If you had all of this to do over again, would you?

 

- EBF

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I was really hoping it was a troll since the post was so unbelievable. Springer couldn't have come up with a better story.

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EBF, I understand that you think the guy is a child. But I was wondering what the age of Traveling lady is. We are 25/26 and would consider a 18/19 year a younger person not a child. But you might a little older, maybe have children your self so I can see how you would think he is a child.

No kids, DanBridget, but yes, many years separates us. However, as I was responding earlier, I was giving that age thing thought, and as I recall, even in my early 20's, I considered a fellow 18 years old to be nothing more than a kid. Generally speaking, (Note: I said generally...) most women in that age range prefer men their own age or a little older just simply because girls tend to mature more rapidly than boys. Now...a few years down the road and those age differences become far less apparent...a few years on either side makes no real difference. But here again, I'm thinking in terms of this woman being in her late to early 40's and that might be totally wrong.

The bottom line is that we all see things and respond from our own perspectives. To me, this is wrong. Pure and simple. I can't escape the fact that she is a parental figure to this boy, child, young man...however you might term him. But that doesn't mean it is everyone's feeling and they are as entitled to their thoughts as I am.

 

The other thing that is rattling through my head (but hasn't taken clear shape yet) is the fact that the male (I'll settle on that term) lived with them for 2 years, was then absent from their home from age 14 to 18 and, according to the poster, they were not even on speaking terms. To me, that indicates some serious discord in the family/home life to begin with...then throw a sexual relationship on top of the mix...what is happening here? When do we stop to consider this might be a *male* with some pre-exisiting emotional issues going on? The basic scenario presented doesn't seem like an ideal home life.

 

- EBF

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On the age thing I have to concur that 18 is still a kid- too young.

I consider anyone under the age of 21 a kid.

If I were to play with anyone that age I would feel like I was doing something horribly wrong. Kids that age are still trying to find their niche in life. They are often impulsive and act without clearly thinking something out. I wouldn't want to be responsible for their mental well-being. Often they are too impressionable and easily influenced. I'd hate to distort their image of a loving relationship.

 

We're 30 and 32. Not ancient compared to 21 chronologically but worlds away mentally.

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We have a child that is almost 18 and frankly this is appauling to say the least. If he moved out at 18 and in with his father, and this sort of thing happened: That woman would have one hell of a mad real mom on her hands, as would his father. The father is wrong for allowing this to happen and then letting the son believe he doesn't know (what kind of guilt trip do you suppose is going on there?) and the woman was totally out of line as a parent figure and is definelty pushing the line of incest. Does this man have other children? Do they visit? Where's his Mom in this picture? Where has this kid been? With his Mom, or maybe a foster home? You ALL need counseling immediately.

More questions: If you're pregnant; Are you going to tell the world that this baby is his, or are you going to pass it off as your husbands? Are your expecting step son to lie to everyone for the rest of his life, including his own future girlfriends and someday a spouse? What if he doesn't want to hide it, or lie to protect you? Again: Counseling! Soon!

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:rolleyes: When I said "baby"...I meant a child.Not an actual infant :lol: Good Lord.And, when I said child molester? Depending on when a child is considered of legal age and what state you live in?That very well could be the case.Incest? Well, given that they aren't blood related,I'll throw that one out...It's still disgusting...and I have a child real close to this age group.If I had a husband who wasn't related to my child, come up to me,whether we were swingers or not and tell me he felt my daughter was attracted to him and wanted to know if I'd be okay with him sleeping with her,..I'd knock him on his a**,throw him out and recommend he see a shrink :rollseyes .Then, I'd have a seriously loooooooooooonnngggg talk with my child. :mad: There is NO excuse for any of this.A lot of boundaries have been crossed,and forget about respect...It ain't there either! However, I digress! To each his own, and thou shalt not judge...yada yada.Now that this has all happened...as I said,all you can do is go from here and for heaven's sake...DON'T DO IT AGAIN!! :nono:

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I don't know, I've heard much, much worse. Though this is stranger than fiction, as most of life is.

 

I don't know what kind of advice to give you, if you're still reading, but this would be the time I seriously reconsider my entire life relationships. Things like this happen. We're human; we do stupid shit.

 

To everyone else, I wonder if this is any different from a woman doing her husband's brother, or her husband's dad. I know these things happen, and I know age is often overlooked or overly scrutinized. Plenty of 18 year-old girls marry men--much older men--all the time. And personally, even though I'm 31, I particularly like 18-22 year-old men. And I have other girlfriends that do too. I suppose it's a power issue, but it's something I enjoy, and 18 is consensual.

 

Girl, I'm sorry you got yourself knocked up in this situation. Many of your decisions are completely up to you. Introspection through journal-writing may help you through this.

 

2N

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Let’s not get our panties in a bunch.

For those of us wearing G-strings need not apply. LOL :lol:

 

I concur with Dan and Bridgett that your perspective could differ depending on your age.

Swinging isn’t for intellectual enlightenment.(Or is it?) MENSA would be great organization for that. Oh, sure there must be perks to the lifestyle. Surly having something in common with perspective swingers would set the mood. But let’s be real not totally necessary. :kissface:

 

I also second what 2neophytes expressing.

 

To the unfortunate love triangle, good luck to you all.

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Shhh--it's not that bad. 80% of the guys who approach me are 19, 20 and 23--and I am THIRTY-ONE. My saving grace, thanks to the very fair skin, is that I look their age rather than mine. He's 18; he's not your son, and your husband gave you the ok. I CAN understand though, how it does get embarassing in public; three weeks ago, when I walking in this very safe little neighborhood at night, a black truck coming opposite of the direction I was walking slowed down drastically, then turned around and picked me up. I went up the window and looked in. "Ahhh, you are such a cute little boy--how old are you?" I said. Then he told me 21, and then asked my age. When I told him it was 31, he started laughing and said, "No way in hell are you older than me." Of course I got mad at him, but shut up when he took to the store and bought me some beer. :lol:

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Look at it this way, if your pregnant with your husbands grandchild you'll be able ta make a shitload of $$$$ doing the Springer circuit. Maybe even enuff ta buy a brand spankin new Winnebago ta raise the lil feller in. Shit holla ya can prolly even buy a few six packs a Ole Milwaukee.

 

Despite what anyone else is saying on this board, if any of this is true....... You're getting exactly what you deserve :sad:

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:rolleyes: I can understand "looking" young for your age...I've been told many times I look anywhere from 22-26 years old.I've had 8th graders check me out :rollseyes But, I'm almost 35...and the youngest I'll even consider is 23,male or female and even then, sometimes that's too young mentality wise{no offense to the more mature 23 years olds :kissface:} :lol: I just have a hard time even thinking that an 18 year old even knows what he's doing:lol: Let alone, messing around with someone who is related,albeit by marriage, but still!But, as the saying goes,not wanting to beat a dead horse...yes, there are worse things in life, yes we all do stupid shit.Sooooo,as I said before...just don't do it again and go for counseling! Surrender

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Posting alittle more information. I am only 5 years older then my husbands son. My husband is almost 20 years older then I am. We have been swingers for almost three years with about four experiences. My step son was only supposed to be here a week. Never would I have expected that he stay for a couple of months to a year. I know that I deserve the thoughts that you all have given. However, I am no child molestor or looking for "children" out there. I am also no troll nor is my husband. I did make a bad judement call by sleeping with him. And now we have to face it. Im just not sure what to do. We can not make him leave! He cant right now for alot of reasons so till June when he leaves for boot camp we are in the house together. I spoke to him two nights ago and just told him that we cant do this anymore! He has asked for one night alone with me and promises it will stop. My husband and I think that would probally be a bad idea. I have explained this to him but I have not told him that his dad knows. Things are not weird between them and I want to keep it that way. My husband knows what is going on and we are as a couple dealing with it. However, we now know that we made a mistake and just want to handle it so to speak. Thanks.

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First off thank you for coming back and replying. I wouldn't blame you if you chose not to with the reception you got on your first question.

 

[Note: The user posted this response as a seperate thread because unregistered users are not allowed to reply to threads. I then merged it her.]

 

Back to your situation. Whether he can leave or not, you AND your husband need to sit down with him and let him know that his dad does know what went on and that it WILL NOT happen again. Things NEED to be weird between dad and son at this point. Why? Because it's the only way that it will make it clear to the kid that this is a done deal. He needs to know that his dad knows. Not knowing does nothing for his level of respect for either of you.

 

June is a long way off, and way too long for him to be living under the same roof with you. Find some way to move him out even if it means paying for an apt for him or moving him in with some other relatives.

 

(I'll leave it to others to bring up the question of you marrying someone 20 years older than you when you were only 16).

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Just to clarify the earlier post: IMO: There isn't anything wrong with sleeping with younger, legal, people (Not something we're into, but to each their own.). It's sleeping with someone within a family unit (parent, step-parent, and child roles, in particular).

Again....Get counseling and stop lieing to this kid. You and your husband are dealing with it (obviously together).....Who does he have to turn to? You? Not likely, since you are just pulling his string, and so is his father. At least let him know that his Dad knows, and then you can all decide whether or not you can stand to live together, and he can decide whether he can stand to live with the two of you.

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or here's a real twist, but a serious one.

Maybe it's that you don't want him to go?

Should you consider leaving your husband, for the son?

Just a thought, not unheard of, and you are closer in age.

Takes the appearance of a "family unit" away, as was portrayed in your earlier posts.

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Thanks for the new info.

 

However, I still believe you should go for councelling...

 

He needs to know that his dad knows and he cannot stay with you. Yes, you made a mistake, repair it.

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I was reading through all the post and I have to admitt that thia all seems a bit unreal. I am 11 years junior to my bf. I am 27 and we are not weirded out by the age gap. BUT we have a rule to our swinging, if we can't take them to a bar or pub then we are not going to discuss them joining us or entertain the idea of seeing them in a more than friends basis.

 

Now I know that bad judgment played a HUGE part in this, but it sounds like there was lust on both parties part. You would never have even entertained the idea of sleeping with you husbands son if you were not flattered or even found him attractive. You did have the right in the begining to tell him that it was unappropriate behavior because he is your husbands son. You did not have to actually do it and for so long. That's what gets me, you both continued even after seeing that he was 'developing feelings' towards you.

 

I agree with everyone that couselling is needed ASAP. Not only that but you ALL need to sit down and decide on what you are ALL going to do if this baby comes along. How is a child going to take knowing that his dad is really his step-brother?

 

Just my 2 cents worth.

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or here's a real twist, but a serious one.

Maybe it's that you don't want him to go?

Should you consider leaving your husband, for the son?

Just a thought, not unheard of, and you are closer in age.

Takes the appearance of a "family unit" away, as was portrayed in your earlier posts.

 

 

Oh my have I missed alot while my computer was ill!!! :eek:

 

I do have to say though, that I happen to think that the above is terrible advice. Marriage is a forever bond. You know, "till death due us part, for better for worse......" Obviously, this is the worse.

So, what to do.

1. I agree, get family counsiling! This is a must.

 

2. FOR HEAVENS SAKE, TELL HIM HIS DAD KNOWS!!!!

 

other wise he will believe this is some big secret binding the two of you together which will make him want you more.

 

3. stay away from him the best that you can and DO NOT tell him you could or may or suspect a pregnacy.

 

Deal with that issue when or if it is an issue, and should it become one, I would highly reccomend hubby and you raising it as you would if it had happened during any other swinging situation, as your own baby. He is obviously not mature enough or ready to be a Daddy, or he wouldn't be living with his Daddy till he goes off to boot camp.

But, again, cross that bridge when or if you go to it.

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2. FOR HEAVENS SAKE, TELL HIM HIS DAD KNOWS!!!!

 

other wise he will believe this is some big secret binding the two of you together which will make him want you more.

 

 

Excellent point. The more this kid things you share some big secret from his dad the more he will think he is important to you in that way (and more important to you than his dad or your relationship with his dad).... which only gives him hope and fuels his fire.

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Okay, I realize that no one owes any of us a durned thing. And that there are those who choose to do the "anonymous" or unregistered type of posting most especially when dealing with a volatile situation. :o

 

But durn it - this is definitely one of the ones that's come along I admit to being curious as the dickens about. Six weeks or so have passed since this one was batted around, and man, oh, man - I'm really curious what may have transpired by now. :confused:

 

Hopefully, the fear of a pregnancy developed to be a false alarm. The powderkeg already set to ignite didn't need that added dimension to it. :eek:

 

I guess my greater hope is that maybe we were all just being yanked by a troll who has wandered on to mess with minds elsewhere. Cuz' if true, I am feeling like someone who, briefly, had a front row seat at a Springer show - only all the participants disappeared before any resolve was reached. My curiosity would be resolved if the poster would return and say "Move along folks, nothing to see here! It was a joke." :rollseyes

 

... or something .... head bang

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Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

I'm sticking with my original assessment.

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Here's a thought about this one, probably going to put us in the same boat as the unregistered person there, but heck.

 

We'd honestly be surprised that the kid doesn't know his dad knows. And if he doesn't, he's not qualified for life much less mensa.

 

How does he think he's getting all this alone time with the lady? Or how is he going to get his "one last night?"

 

We're 33 and 29, and make it a rule ourselves that if they are not old enough to buy us a drink in a bar, they are certainly not old enough to be playing with. But we do know that there are some kids who have a whole lot more sense to be able to "hold-up" their end of a mature situation.

 

One other thing perks up our attention. This kid is going to boot camp. That will be a VERY large mess. It's actually a hidden secret about Army posts that well, if you "tag" another man's wife, you hide a battalion coin in the house some where. That alone causes a lot of problems. I for one (as I deal with a lot of new soldiers) would hate to have this kid assigned to me (Dave). More problems there than it's worth dealing with.

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    • By let's do it again
      I haven't seen this addressed here, so I was wondering if anyone has been scammed or attempted to be scammed while swinging? Now we have had single guys lie about having a partner or one couple wanted me to loan them a sizable amount of money. So has any swingers tried to blackmail or scam you?
    • By foozballnow
      Hey everyone,
       
      I know it has to have happened to some or most of you. You are in the middle of your full swap having your way with the other spouse when all of a sudden you or they realize the condom came off!
       
      Knock on wood this has not happened to us yet. We would just like to know what everyone's course of action was after this happened? A friendly fishing expedition maybe?
       
      Did you put a new one on and go at it? Or decide that it was a moot point by then...
    • By TakeAPicture
      So my wife and I are both very excited about getting into the lifestyle, and our only real hang-up is genital herpes. We don't have it and really don't want it. We've read all the literature, understand the risks, and are well-versed in safer sex practices. I see a lot of posts on here about education and fears of contracting an STD through swinging...but have any of you or anyone you know actually contracted an STD through swinging? Not through random hook-ups but through organized activities with other responsible people? What were the circumstances under which this happened? Were safer-sex practices employed?
       
      I guess I'm trying to run the numbers, and since about 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men have herpes, it seems like there's a pretty good chance you're going to encounter another couple who has it. Since it's estimated by the CDC that 90% of people with herpes don't even know they have it, you can't count on someone saying "I'm clean!" to really mean anything. They could either be lying, or simply not know. Since condoms only provide about a 50% risk-reduction, with drugs increasing that reduction to 75% and most transmissions are from asymptomatic people, why doesn't everybody have it?
       
      I've been reading through this board, and I don't see any posts from people saying, "Oh crap, I got an STD from swinging last weekend!" It just seems like there would be more. Are there ones I'm just missing?
       
      Thanks for any help you can offer.
       
      Alex
    • By two4youinswva
      Guys, I know failure to launch is probably THE main concern of guys in the swinging world, followed by the ability to make it last as long as she wants.
       
      But DAMN!
       
      Swinger's penis nearly 'explodes after he injects it with Viagra' | Metro News
       
      I got a little greedy,’ the man known as SoreCock wrote after he decided to order the drug when pills from his doctor wouldn’t help him with his stamina in bed.
      He felt he needed the extra boost because he and his wife, 27, had apparently just started swinging.
      So the next step was injections straight into the side of the penis,’ he added.
       
      It worked a treat at first but when it was time to stop, his penis didn’t want to.
      ‘I started pouring cold water over it. Nothing,’ he wrote.
      ‘I took four Sudafed pills (as suggested online when you get an out-of-control erection). Nothing.
      ‘I started exercising major muscle groups, doing endless sets of push-ups, pull-ups, squats, etc. (also recommended online, in order to divert the blood). Nothing.’
      After three hours he decided it was time to head to the emergency room, and yes it was one of the most embarrassing things he said he ever done.
       
      WARNING: The picture in the story may be a little much for the easily queasy. They also offer a click through to the actual penis in question. I declined that opportunity.
    • By ecoupleca
      OK, at the risk of being crude, has anyone ever been with someone who didn't know how to fuck? I ask that question because I have been with that person.
       
      She was an absolute "10". A friend, a sweet heart, a second marriage to a good friend of mine. She was in the experimental stage and swinging with whoever she determined they would swing with. She had two kids from previous marriage. She has been around the block so to speak.
       
      One afternoon when we came back to our house and the kids went to sleep. The ladies were talking and determined that they would have each others spouse. We spouses did not disagree. She said told my wife she wanted to fuck me. My wife said "OK" bless her heart.
       
      She and I went up to the bedroom. The first kiss was an open mouth tongue slapping kiss that was not really a kiss I've ever had or would care to have again. She got on top of me immediately, sat there and told me to tell her when I would cum so she could suck it out of me. We went for awhile, eventually being bored I turned her over. She resisted it for a moment and then she went with it.
       
      I told her I was coming and she slipped out from under turned over and sucked me. That can never be wrong. Then I think she planned on that being it.
       
      However I stayed hard and put her back on me until for a seemingly endless time until her Hubby and my wife opened the door and he said "we have to go". The worst fuck with a "10" or a "1" I've ever had. I think about it all the time. Has anyone had that experience?
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