What the hell did I get my self into? Slept with step-son

[RW1F]

Look at it this way, if your pregnant with your husbands grandchild you'll be able ta make a shitload of $$$$ doing the Springer circuit. Maybe even enuff ta buy a brand spankin new Winnebago ta raise the lil feller in. Shit holla ya can prolly even buy a few six packs a Ole Milwaukee.

Despite what anyone else is saying on this board, if any of this is true....... You're getting exactly what you deserve

[sensuality]

I can understand "looking" young for your age...I've been told many times I look anywhere from 22-26 years old.I've had 8th graders check me out :rollseyes But, I'm almost 35...and the youngest I'll even consider is 23,male or female and even then, sometimes that's too young mentality wise{no offense to the more mature 23 years olds } I just have a hard time even thinking that an 18 year old even knows what he's doing Let alone, messing around with someone who is related,albeit by marriage, but still!But, as the saying goes,not wanting to beat a dead horse...yes, there are worse things in life, yes we all do stupid shit.Sooooo,as I said before...just don't do it again and go for counseling! Surrender

Posting alittle more information. I am only 5 years older then my husbands son. My husband is almost 20 years older then I am. We have been swingers for almost three years with about four experiences. My step son was only supposed to be here a week. Never would I have expected that he stay for a couple of months to a year. I know that I deserve the thoughts that you all have given. However, I am no child molestor or looking for "children" out there. I am also no troll nor is my husband. I did make a bad judement call by sleeping with him. And now we have to face it. Im just not sure what to do. We can not make him leave! He cant right now for alot of reasons so till June when he leaves for boot camp we are in the house together. I spoke to him two nights ago and just told him that we cant do this anymore! He has asked for one night alone with me and promises it will stop. My husband and I think that would probally be a bad idea. I have explained this to him but I have not told him that his dad knows. Things are not weird between them and I want to keep it that way. My husband knows what is going on and we are as a couple dealing with it. However, we now know that we made a mistake and just want to handle it so to speak. Thanks.

[JustAskJulie]

First off thank you for coming back and replying. I wouldn't blame you if you chose not to with the reception you got on your first question.

[Note: The user posted this response as a seperate thread because unregistered users are not allowed to reply to threads. I then merged it her.]

Back to your situation. Whether he can leave or not, you AND your husband need to sit down with him and let him know that his dad does know what went on and that it WILL NOT happen again. Things NEED to be weird between dad and son at this point. Why? Because it's the only way that it will make it clear to the kid that this is a done deal. He needs to know that his dad knows. Not knowing does nothing for his level of respect for either of you.

June is a long way off, and way too long for him to be living under the same roof with you. Find some way to move him out even if it means paying for an apt for him or moving him in with some other relatives.

(I'll leave it to others to bring up the question of you marrying someone 20 years older than you when you were only 16).

[jcbicouple]

Just to clarify the earlier post: IMO: There isn't anything wrong with sleeping with younger, legal, people (Not something we're into, but to each their own.). It's sleeping with someone within a family unit (parent, step-parent, and child roles, in particular).
Again....Get counseling and stop lieing to this kid. You and your husband are dealing with it (obviously together).....Who does he have to turn to? You? Not likely, since you are just pulling his string, and so is his father. At least let him know that his Dad knows, and then you can all decide whether or not you can stand to live together, and he can decide whether he can stand to live with the two of you.

[jcbicouple]

or here's a real twist, but a serious one.
Maybe it's that you don't want him to go?
Should you consider leaving your husband, for the son?
Just a thought, not unheard of, and you are closer in age.
Takes the appearance of a "family unit" away, as was portrayed in your earlier posts.

[stoutgatte]

Thanks for the new info.

However, I still believe you should go for councelling...

He needs to know that his dad knows and he cannot stay with you. Yes, you made a mistake, repair it.

[DandK]

I was reading through all the post and I have to admitt that thia all seems a bit unreal. I am 11 years junior to my bf. I am 27 and we are not weirded out by the age gap. BUT we have a rule to our swinging, if we can't take them to a bar or pub then we are not going to discuss them joining us or entertain the idea of seeing them in a more than friends basis.

Now I know that bad judgment played a HUGE part in this, but it sounds like there was lust on both parties part. You would never have even entertained the idea of sleeping with you husbands son if you were not flattered or even found him attractive. You did have the right in the begining to tell him that it was unappropriate behavior because he is your husbands son. You did not have to actually do it and for so long. That's what gets me, you both continued even after seeing that he was 'developing feelings' towards you.

I agree with everyone that couselling is needed ASAP. Not only that but you ALL need to sit down and decide on what you are ALL going to do if this baby comes along. How is a child going to take knowing that his dad is really his step-brother?

Just my 2 cents worth.

[DuncanDoughnut]

Originally Posted by jcbicouple

or here's a real twist, but a serious one.
Maybe it's that you don't want him to go?
Should you consider leaving your husband, for the son?
Just a thought, not unheard of, and you are closer in age.
Takes the appearance of a "family unit" away, as was portrayed in your earlier posts.

Oh my have I missed alot while my computer was ill!!!

I do have to say though, that I happen to think that the above is terrible advice. Marriage is a forever bond. You know, "till death due us part, for better for worse......" Obviously, this is the worse.
So, what to do.
1. I agree, get family counsiling! This is a must.

2. FOR HEAVENS SAKE, TELL HIM HIS DAD KNOWS!!!!

other wise he will believe this is some big secret binding the two of you together which will make him want you more.

3. stay away from him the best that you can and DO NOT tell him you could or may or suspect a pregnacy.

Deal with that issue when or if it is an issue, and should it become one, I would highly reccomend hubby and you raising it as you would if it had happened during any other swinging situation, as your own baby. He is obviously not mature enough or ready to be a Daddy, or he wouldn't be living with his Daddy till he goes off to boot camp.
But, again, cross that bridge when or if you go to it.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by DuncanDoughnut

2. FOR HEAVENS SAKE, TELL HIM HIS DAD KNOWS!!!!

other wise he will believe this is some big secret binding the two of you together which will make him want you more.

Excellent point. The more this kid things you share some big secret from his dad the more he will think he is important to you in that way (and more important to you than his dad or your relationship with his dad).... which only gives him hope and fuels his fire.

[wrnakedru]

Okay, I realize that no one owes any of us a durned thing. And that there are those who choose to do the "anonymous" or unregistered type of posting most especially when dealing with a volatile situation.

But durn it - this is definitely one of the ones that's come along I admit to being curious as the dickens about. Six weeks or so have passed since this one was batted around, and man, oh, man - I'm really curious what may have transpired by now.

Hopefully, the fear of a pregnancy developed to be a false alarm. The powderkeg already set to ignite didn't need that added dimension to it.

I guess my greater hope is that maybe we were all just being yanked by a troll who has wandered on to mess with minds elsewhere. Cuz' if true, I am feeling like someone who, briefly, had a front row seat at a Springer show - only all the participants disappeared before any resolve was reached. My curiosity would be resolved if the poster would return and say "Move along folks, nothing to see here! It was a joke." :rollseyes

... or something .... head bang

I'm sticking with my original assessment.

[Dave_kat]

Here's a thought about this one, probably going to put us in the same boat as the unregistered person there, but heck.

We'd honestly be surprised that the kid doesn't know his dad knows. And if he doesn't, he's not qualified for life much less mensa.

How does he think he's getting all this alone time with the lady? Or how is he going to get his "one last night?"

We're 33 and 29, and make it a rule ourselves that if they are not old enough to buy us a drink in a bar, they are certainly not old enough to be playing with. But we do know that there are some kids who have a whole lot more sense to be able to "hold-up" their end of a mature situation.

One other thing perks up our attention. This kid is going to boot camp. That will be a VERY large mess. It's actually a hidden secret about Army posts that well, if you "tag" another man's wife, you hide a battalion coin in the house some where. That alone causes a lot of problems. I for one (as I deal with a lot of new soldiers) would hate to have this kid assigned to me (Dave). More problems there than it's worth dealing with.