He didn't use a condom. What would you have done?

[jcbicouple]

Well, Maybe I'm just reading too much into it. I guess I'd be interested in knowing: Was the agreement to use rubbers between her and her husband (That's what I guessed, there was no mention that they and the other couple ever discussed it, just that she thought she knew what to expect.) and how long did the intercourse last since she said she knew within the first few strokes (Did the guy cum within another minute or was this a 10 - 15 - 30 minute session?) lastly she said " I am angry with myself for not stopping him sooner or saying anything because I was caught up in my pleasure."
Sincerly hope everything is ok for her and her hubby: We never wish ill upon anyone, but I also still believe she was wrong and it sounds like she's looking for someone to tell her it was ok. IMHO it wasn't.

[JustAskJulie]

I really don't think it matters if he took it off or if he just never had it on. Either way he knew her rules and he didn't honor them. And once you have made your rules clear to someone (especially if you have played with them with those rules intact before) you should not have to constantly confirm that they are adhering to those rules, it should be expected and presumed.

He broke their rules knowingly and for that alone I had to agree with Spoo he deserved much more than getting yelled at, he would have left my house with bruises.

As for her failure to respond verbally, without being there and knowing exactly how much time lapsed it's hard to say if this was even a failure on her part. As EBF, I have been in situations where I'm still trying to put the words together and make 1+1=2 and it can't always be done in a moment's notice. It's kinda like when you are awakened from a dead sleep and spend a minute just trying to remember where you are much less figure out what you are doing there.

[LadyCleo]

Originally Posted by HotCoupleGnS

Ok first, in this type of stuff you should never assume anything. They both did some wrong in this situation. He shouldn't have broke the boundaries that were set up & she should have stopped it as soon as she realized. But he never should have assumed that b/c she confirmed that he had no rubber on that it was ok to cum in her.

Second, his wife may or may not have been ok with him being bare. But if wasn't ok with it, then he should have never stuck it in with no condom on.

Like I said, they both did some wrong in this situation. He should have never stuck it in with no condom, based on the bounadries set up. She should have stopped it as soon as she realized it. He should not have cum inside her. She should now just move on & look at it is a learning experience. SHe can't do anything to change it now, she can only be sure that it won't happen again.

As for the friendship, that is for her & hubby to decide. If they feel that it can be saved then that is cool. If not then ok.

Dito Dito Dito

I wholeheartedly agree with this post.
'Nuff said.

LC

[OhioCouple]

To consider another scenario. If the male had lost an erection and then regained one as the climax of Catherine heated up, is it not plausable to believe that the condom could have slid off before the heat of the moment sexual intercourse occured? It could have happened depending on how oral was being performed. The movement of the male body against whatever prop for the female? For myself, I immediately enjoy a hard cock, while still in orgasm from oral. I'm not about to do condom patrol...cause at that exact moment I desire to be penetrated. Is it so hard to think that even a guy cannot get caught up in the same moment? If the realization occurs between either/both parties, I'd expect them to look sheepish too.

I think that it might be wise to talk with this other couple about what happened and why it happened. It very well could be a snafu, and nothing more.

[Elusive BiFem]

Your points are well made, Mrs. O. I suppose, when one thinks about it, there are multiple scenarios; however, based upon what catherine initially said in her posts, I would not think the one you proposed was the case. If the condom had "slipped" off when the man lost his erection, why would he have not explained that at the time? Don't you think he might have exclaimed something along the lines of, "OMG, I didn't realize that had happened!" Based upon catherine's words, this or anything similar was not the case. He merely looked sheepish.

As for a man being caught up in the moment while giving oral sex...I don't know. I'm not a man. I suspect, tho', that with the focus and concentration necessary to satisfy a relatively new partner, that that might not be the case. Enjoyment? Yes? But being caught up to the point of not knowing he had lost his erection and the condom fell off? Hmmmm....well, maybe some men can answer that question. It doesn't seem plausible to me, but then again, I've never worn a condom.

- EBF

[CB_n_Red]

Okay, I've kept out of this one so far, but it's time for my two penn'orth....

I can accept (being a bloke) that it's just as easy for a man as for a woman to get totally caught up in the moment, to the point of being oblivious to what else is going on elsewhere in the room. However, for me this is really only the case when I am lying back, thinking of England and being pleasured. When I am being active in pleasing my partner it is easy enough to get really turned on by it (no way would the stiffy droop in that situation) but I just can't see myself, or any other bloke for that matter, losing it to the extent of not knowing whether he was still wearing a condom or not.

Given the state of my back (still), lying back and thinking of England is about the only way anything is going to work this week.... :-(

CB

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by CB_n_Red

but I just can't see myself, or any other bloke for that matter, losing it to the extent of not knowing whether he was still wearing a condom or not.
CB

I agree. I feel this guy just felt overly comfortable since they have played before and thought he could get away with it. I would have been absolutely furious with him and he would have been escorted in no kind manner to the door with instructions to never, ever contact us again. My wife would probably pummel him. And I'd make it known to others we come in contact with that this person does not respect boundries and to be careful should they decide to play with him and his wife.

Mr. WS

[curcpl_2004]

Hubby says "That's what the chainsaw in the garage is for !"

[CB_n_Red]

To further confuse the issue, I can think of two occasions when we have been taken unawares regarding condoms, or rather lack of them . One instance each. In one MMF instance Red got jumped on by surprise following awesome oral and in the other (MFMF) it was me being jumped on by the other wife in an almost identical situation. While we don't always insist on condoms (depends on the circumstances; while I am babyproof, Red isn't, though the signs are that her menopause isn't far off - STD's would be the main concern) we had expected to use them in both of those encounters.

We discussed both incidents aferwards, decided to put it down to experience with no harm done (we checked to be sure) and resolved to be more careful in future. Has to be said that we have played with none of them since though. We were tempted to make a big deal of it in both cases, but decided that it wouldn't be worth it. Easier just to move on. Okay, so we are still aging. unreconstructed hippies!

CB

[midnight hour]

I have read this thread with interest. I can say this..Mr. Midnight and a the other two men I have played with have lost their erection during oral sex for what ever reason. It could be the age group, it could be Mr. Midnight has disc trouble or it could mean none have used viagria..so I *can* see a erection leaving..<but always coming back >
I do have to ask..what about the oral sex? Do any of you use condoms or dental dams? The reason I ask is the main concern seems to be STD's when you can catch all most all of the nasty little things thru oral as well as actual sex. So do you protect yourselves from the per come of a man, and from the fluids of the woman, or only during vaginal sex?
Again I am not being a smart arse..but the concern would be just as legit thru oral sex VS vaginal sex...<not figuring in the chance of pregnacy, just STD's>
The reason I ask is I have not heard of anyone taking any precautions on oral sex...only vaginal.

Thanks~

Mr. Midnight

[2neophytes]

Originally Posted by DuncanDoughnut

Of course it does say A man not my man. hmmmmmmm

Anyway- the betrayal seems VERY serious exspecially if done deliberately. I would be seriously concerned about STD's. I would also be direct with him and ask why

Such a problem with language...

First we're debating about whether a condom "slid" off, and now we're on to the difference between "my" and "a".

2N

[2neophytes]

Originally Posted by Elusive BiFem

OK, Mr. Alura!!! You finally got me!!!! Surrender I have no response on this one. I haven't the foggiest idea how a man takes off a condom. (But I don't think he would have violently torn it off his erect penis." )

- EBF

You know, he could have "rolled" it off! I often roll them on my partners...with my mouth.

But to the point of the thread, he shouldn't have done that. And I would certainly cut off ties. And instead of beating myself up or pouring any of my energy into the guy by being angry with him, I would be down at the STD clinic. You never know where people have been, even if you do know them.

2N

[stoutgatte]

OK, my 2 cents.... (The M part here)

I can easily take off a condom whenever I feel like it, roll it a bit, pull off the rest... less than 1 second.... I'm pretty avg when it comes to size, girth and length... So, it's not difficult 4 a guy who wants/knows how to do it...

Secondly, I've never gotten soo lost in the moment from giving oral that i forgot about condoms... I'm also one of the guys who loses his erection due to the concentration that accompanies giving good oral. I've been on the other end where i lost it while recieving, and I'm still wearing condoms with my wife while we wait for the STD tests...

So, I agree with everyone saying he did it deliberately... U were right to be angry and he got what he deserved... I wouldn't see them again, ever.

As for u doing more? He decieved u... Plain and simple... Don't sweat your end of it too much...

C

[gsu22]

I've been caught up in the moment before with past girlfriends and had unprotected sex when we had used rubbers before. My last girlfriend really got off on oral and right afterwards wanted to be penetrated immediately.....one time I had finished oral and was about to get a condom and she actually stopped me and literally pulled my dick to go inside of her and told me to "fuck her now".....

However, in the few swinging experiences I've encountered, I've ALWAYS made sure something like that didn't happen because not only do I prefer to wear condoms all the time with swinging partners but its been one of the rules I've agreed to......If it was me, I would have never entered her without a rubber in the first place but thats just me.....As a typical guy I've been tempted so many times and said, "Do I really have to wear a condom? Just this one time....c'mon". Jokingly in many cases of course .. unprotected feels so good but protection is important to me..... but anyways I believe he should have followed the rules a little more closely

[Alura]

2neophytes wrote:

You know, he could have "rolled" it off! I often roll them on my partners...with my mouth.

I've always found that pubic hairs get rolled up in the condom when trying to "roll it off." It's downright painful. Now, I'll submit that if the man has shaved his pubic hair there would be no problem. That's why I asked earlier if that were the case. Inquiring minds, y'know...

Mr. Alura