Do single males belong in swinging?

Do they belong?

Are single males who manage to get active in the lifestyle just lucky? Or can they actually be considered swingers?

I'd like to get responses on this from all different opinions, I'm sure there are many.

We definately feel there is a place in the lifestyle for single males. The problem is that a few of the pushy single males that really don't belong (all they are looking for is free and easy sex) make it hard on the rest. We enjoy including single males in our play time. Hubby likes watching me with other guys, and for this single males are the easiest. It's much easier to find a single male that I like and that he approves of, than to try to find a couple where all 4 of us agree on each other and where the female doesn't mind holding off on her play to let my hubby watch her guy with me.

As for the question of are they swingers or just lucky, my thoughts are...

If it's just a single guy who happens to have found a couple who will let him play with them, he's lucky.. and so is that couple (however they are also swingers). If this is a guy, however, who has been active in the lifestyle as part of a couple and really understands what it's about (not just in it for easy/free sex) then I would classify him as a swinger.

The dictionary defines Swinger as: "A male or female of a married couple, engaged in trading partners for sexual reasons."

Single males are not swingers, just horny guys that get lucky.

I am a single male who has been involved in a few 3 somes with other couples. In every case, I knew the husband first, and became good friends with him first, then the wife by association. Also, in every case, I was approached by the husband to engage in either a 3 some, or he wanted to watch. Sometimes, I was the watcher/ videographer. Usually , this invitation came only after we had partied together and the wife got a little extra horny. Since I was never the persuer in any of those cases, how come I am labled "lucky". Has anyone ever considered that there IS a possibility that the wife and husband got "Lucky". One thing that a single male has to do though is be sure that he maintains his role as an "assisstant" to the fun, and never ever become involved without the husbands insistence. I'd rather lose a lay than a friend. In closing, I just wanted to stick up for the single guy by saying we're not all perverts who are out to love em and leave em.... we're just like the rest of you, we love to fullfill fantasies, ours as well as the other parties.

Originally posted by Dougiemanonamoon:

One thing that a single male has to do though is be sure that he maintains his role as an "assistant" to the fun, and never ever become involved without the husbands insistence. I'd rather lose a lay than a friend.

I'm glad that there ARE single guys out there like you, that aren't in the lifestyle just for sex, but that friendships are 1st! I was just telling hubby the other day, that if we had a 3some/MFM, the other male would have to be friends first, REALLY GOOD friend, especially with HUBBY! *lol* Someone that HE/we approves of, if ever/when this happens...;-)

We've never had a 3some, except in a 4some, when someone takes a break or so. I think there are more FMF's, than MFM's, due to the fact, that husbands/male partners are insecure about sharing his wife/female partner with another guy. But it's okay to have another woman in on their "extra-curriculum" activities! HHhhmmm...

We've been in the lifestyle for about 9 mos. now...At first, I felt the same way about sharing hubby with another female, visa-versa with hubby and another male...But now, I'm more comfortable with a FMF, as long as she's Bi/Bi-Curious. Hubby isn't that comfortable with a MFM...Yet. We're working on it though. Until then, couples only for us. BUT, we're growing with experience, and our options are kept open.

I agree totally. My husband and the husband of the couple we swap with are best friends. That doesn't mean it wasn't strange the first time. It was! They acted like they were afraid they would accidently bump into each other or something. It was funny to watch. But I guess they figured the rewards were worth the risk. (They were!) We have only had threesomes while all four of us are present as well. I don't really expect it to stay that way but we are limiting ourselves to the one particular couple.

We have had nothing but single guys and threesomes. They have all liked the sex with my wife but have kept the relationship with both of us, except for one and he may have other ambitions. I consider each of them swingers and friends. Truthfully, until very recently I wasnt sure you would consider me a swinger. As for married or single guys, I could care less as long as the married ones arent cheating on their wife. If a guy is married I would have to be possitive that his wife was aware of what we are doing. One married partner we have had for about seven years has a marriage that has very little sex. His wife doesnt like having sex except very occasionally and she is releived that her husband has my wife to play with and not someone who is sneaking around in the dark. The best we have had was a young guy that was a credit to his gender. He could cum six or seven times a night and could keep it up for hours, and come back every night for more if we wanted (we wanted many times!!). I guess we dont have any preference, married or single, as long as it is all out in the open.

Hi, Hubby & I have had threesomes with a male friend for over 8 years. He is married, his wife was kind of prude but now has opened up & has had sex wihh mt Dh, personally I love the attention & rather have it 3-some with 2 males, but really any thing is fine as long as people are not unkind, & people understand that Dh & I are a team.

I'm a single guy whose been lucky enough to meet many couples who want a single guy to join them. I know I'm there as a guest and I really do prefer when hubby joins in instead of just watching. And I am NOT there to steal the wife/gf or show how I'm better than hubby/bf! All I ask is to be treated with courtesy and respect as I would show you the same.

That's cool! I'm sure there's more of you (COOL single guys) out there, we just gotta keep looking...

We have had a threesome, MFM, with the husband of a couple we had been with already.

I felt comfortable with him since he had already had sex with my wife, so it was a much easier thing to handle for me.

It was awesome. Until then I had never known how much of an impact seeing her suck a man as I took her from behind would have on me. He and I traded positions many times and had my wife in nearly every conciviable position.

Now, I would like to have a regular single guy, and a regular single woman that we could swing with. Someone close enough so that we could get together more easily.

And I also have a new fantasy. Thanks to a picture online with the caption; "My wife just F**ked the delivery boy." I'd like to order pizza or something sometime and have an MFM with the delivery guy.

Husband of CyberMWCouple

We go to an on-premises club regularly. We started off only going on "Couples" night, but, because we both wanted to try a MFM 3some, we started going on Fridays, when they allow single men.

I have met a *FEW* of the type of guys who are posting here, who are into SWINGING, and not just looking to get laid. Who know that a "No, thank you" means NO! Who are interested in being friends first, and not worried about whether it goes any further.

But the majority that I have run across are rude, pushy to the point of assault, and WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!!!

I have had at least 3 guys escorted out of the club. One for, while hubby and I were playing with another couple, coming up behind me while my hands were occupied, and lifting up my dress, and running his hands all over me. He had not even said Hello to me, I had never seen him before, I didn't even know his name. My hubby and our friend STOPPED what they were doing in mid-action and showed the guy the door.

The 2nd time, a guy just kept following me all night, would NOT accept No, and finally said, I quote "Come on, you know you Fuck other people and I know you fuck other people, so just Fuck me, I paid $100 to get in here tonight." Like WHAT?!?! I'm a prostitute because I go to a swinger's club! I told him "I fuck who I choose, and I wouldn't fuck YOU with somebody else's vagina!" Then I had the owner throw him out before he said that to anyone else.

And then, just last night, we went for a meeting at the club, and stayed to help out because, due to odd traffic circumstances, half the staff couldn't get in to work. During the night, a friend who works there and I were in one of the rooms playing with some good friends of ours. (when I said playing, I meant really just PLAYING, not sex, everyone had their clothes on) We were all joking around, and I had pretended to tie them all 3 together with a rope and was "pulling the strings" This single guy came in, again, I had never seen him, had a conversation with him, or anything. He started rubbing my back and asked if he could join. I told him we were just goofing off, not doing anything, and that I didn't play without my hubby (who was tending bar) He became very insistent, and I said NO 2 or 3 times. He backed off and stood across the room. Then, without asking, he pulled up my skirt (no panties), had his cock out and started rubbing it against me. I said loudly "What do you think you're doing? I said NO!" I told him to drop my skirt, and we all left the room. I was on my way up front to get the bouncer, and he followed me, begging all the way. At this point, my hubby saw him, and the look on his face, and came over and asked if I wanted him to leave. I said yes, and he was thrown out. To me, that bordered closely on assault. I was VERY upset for the rest of the night.

I will say that MANY other of the single guys (who go there often and know us) came up to me to apologize for this guy's behavior, tell me that it's not supposed to happen, that not all single guys were like that and so forth. And did their best to comfort me. (we couldn't leave until the place closed) I did appreciate that.

I know not all single guys are jerks, but WHAT IS UP with these guys thinking they are "owed" a lay? Or thinking that they have the right to put their hands on somebody without their permission, just because that person is, or has, played with someone else.

I try to be polite when I'm not interested, and just very nicely say No, thank you, or I'm not interested right now, thanks, or something to that effect. A lot of the guys will accept that and drop it, but several are just pushy and insistent. Should I be rude? It's really not in my nature, but I am tired of being afraid to go anywhere in the club without my hubby glued to my side, and I don't like being begged. Or the guy getting nasty when I refuse.

Julie, you said something about the clubs should screen the guys better. Do you have any suggestions I could bring to the owner? They handle the jerks well, right away, by ejecting them from the premises, but it would be better if they could keep them from coming in at all. I was thinking of printing out your "single guys" info, and handing to every single guy who joins. I already, on the website, refer them here for tips, and etiquette.

Sorry this is so long, I'm still upset and angry over what happened, and I guess I needed to vent.

Thanks for listening.

LaylaSusanne --

Sorry to hear of what happened to you last night.

I sometimes think there's a reason many of these guys are single. Specifically, they're cretins with no social skills development. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with you, but treating you like a hooker is another matter altogether.

Single guys, or any man engaging in a M/F/M threesome with a couple, must understand they're the outsider. They've been invited to spend a brief time within the inner sanctum of a committed couple, the highest priviledge a single man can have bestowed upon him in this lifestyle. And it is indeed a priviledge, not a right. No one has the right to lay his or her hands on another person sexually without specific permission to do so.

Sorry you've had these negative experiences, I hope you'll be able to relate more positive ones on here in the future.

Dan

Thanks so much for the sympathy.

Yeah, I've had a few bad experiences, but it STILL hasn't turned me off swinging!

Either I'm really into it, or really stupid. Jury's still out on that.

I have also had some wonderful experiences. We had our first MFM 3 some with a VERY nice guy, very respectful, and very sweet.

It was great. I enjoyed it a lot. Tom had some "stage fright", and I was worried he was jealous, but he said he was incredibly turned on, just had a problem "showing it" so to speak with another guy who wasn't BI.

He got over his little problem very quickly when we got home, though, and the rest of the night was as much fun as the beginning of the night had been.

BTW, I liked the "Lick and Dick" too, thanks to whoever suggested it. But I drew the line at upside-down 69's

So, I do have an appreciation for the single male in the lifestyle, as long as he's respectful.

Layla,

I've found that too. We go to an on-premise club that is open 6 nights a week. They allows single men every night except Fri and Sat. Lately they have started letting couples in free on the "single-guy nights"...but till charge the men $100, last time it was me, Matt and about 7 single guys, all with that "entitled" attitude I hate so much. We just ate and talked to the staff and left. i was pretty uncomfortable. But I think because they DO pay $100 they expect to get some.

They should just pick up a hooker...better odds for their money

Layla,

That's sad that you or ANYone had to go through that experience! Glad you had good friends there to help ease the bad feelings you were going thru, for the rest of your stay that night! Personally, I think they should've kicked that guys butt though! *lol*

As I was reading your "bad experience" post with Hubby, I felt your "anger & aggravation", and I know the feeling all to well (bad experiences at a very young age), I told Hubby that if I ever experienced what you went through that night, the intruding single-male better expect SOMEthing to happen to his cock, and ain't sex either! After 1-2 times of saying "NO, thank you!", and he still tries to get some from me, THAT'S license to cause DAMAGE to his balls, and any other body parts of his that touched me UNinvitingly!

I told Hubby, that if he ever hears some stranger yelling his head off, while I was standing right in front of this guy, with my hands down there, and this wicked look on my face, grinnin' wickedly while biting down on my teeth at him....He better get help for this guy ASAP, before I RIP his balls right out from under him!

Believe me, after THAT treatment, they'll be needing a stretcher for the "intruder"! And he better pray that Hubby don't get HIS hands on him too!

Sorry for the violent "thoughts"....*Balling up fist tightly....* SEE! Layla got me going now! *LOL* BTW....It's not in MY nature either to be violent...

Thanks, Cyberwife!

Actually, seeing as how my hubby and our other close friends were "the staff" that night, I'm not sure WHAT they did to the guy! I just know he left very quickly.

One of the guys (friend) in the room at the time was a former paramedic partner of mine, and the other was...in law enforcement. As for Tom , they wouldn't let him go outside with them. They were afraid he would do some REAL damage, and there's just no good place to hide a body in Ft. Lauderdale...unless you really want to drive clear out to the Everglades! :P

We DO have a "bail money pool" though in case the guy shows up again!

I have decided that the next guy who thinks he can feel free to touch ME with his penis, I'm going to feel free to touch HIM (and his penis) with whatever I have handy.

I spent all night Friday talking to my friend, who works there (and was in the room) about it, and trying to come up with a way to PREVENT these guys from coming in at all.

We LOVE the single guys who are sweet, and respectful, and a part of the whole lifestyle...the ones who have become friends. The ones who know what a privilege it is to be included, and treat it as such. But lately, the Club has had such a problem with new guys being jerks, and not taking no for an answer.

What does everyone think about possibly having the single guys take an "orientation" before being allowed to join? Like, they would have to come early on a week night and sit through a "swinger's etiquette" class, and be told the rules of the club, and so forth. It's one of the better thoughts we had. We also now have a bouncer escort every lady to their cars, and someone standing at the door of the ladies' room. And more staff, so more eyes watching for potential problems.

I like what Liza said, too, that they would be better off spending their money on a hooker!

Layla,

I think attending a "Swingers Etiquette Orientation" is a good idea too!

And maybe an "escort" for the first hour or so with each of them on their first club function? I realize that this may be "short handing" the staff, but it's just an idea...

Hey, I wouldn't mind volunteering for this position! *Raising my hand....lol*

Besides, who would know firsthand what guy is a jerk and who's not, but his female escort? If she's anything like me, she'll know within the first few minutes escorting him around, if he's true to himself or not...

The club that Ted and I attend on a regular basis only allows five single men in a night and they have to sit at the bar until they are asked to leave with a couple. They are not allowed to roam freely throughout the club and must be escorted by a member anywhere they go (except the bathroom). We love having single men at the club, but this does seem to help control them very well. I do also like the orientation idea, it would probably help with a larger club.

TNT,

That's cool too, how the club you attend handles the single-male "situation"!

What club is this, if you don't mind me asking?

These are some great ideas! I especially like the idea of limiting the number of single men allowed in per night.

We've been, unofficially, among the members, "sponsoring" single men. When they post on the board, a couple responds and agrees to meet them and show them around. They're given a tour of the club, and told the rules, and the do's and dont's by a couple who have been members for a while.

These "sponsored" guys have NEVER been a problem! Almost all of them have become long-term members and are very into the lifestyle. And yes, the few "jerks" are weeded out quickly this way.

However, this relies on the male making initial contact via the web board. The main "problem" guys have been ones that just show up at the club, are given a "quickie" tour by a staff member, and left to wander around. I have noticed that the majority of these guys are very young, in their early 20's. Maybe it's a maturity thing.

I'm going to propose the idea of an orientation at our next member's meeting. And the idea of an escort. I think that will help a lot.

Thanks everyone for all the great suggestions, and for helping me to take a negative experience and use it to make a positive impact!

The club we attend is Close Encounters, Gulfport, Miss. We live in Florida and it is a 2 1/2 hour drive for us to attend, but worth every minute. We have been going for over a year and a half now and have never had any problems with any single man there.

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The club we attend is Close Encounters, Gulfport, Miss. We live in Florida and it is a 2 1/2 hour drive for us to attend, but worth every minute. We have been going for over a year and a half now and have never had any problems with any single man there.

That's cool, thanks!

We haven't attended a club yet, but would like the club that we DO attend to have the same "procedures" regarding single-males...

First off, I do agree that guys assume that because they paid to get in they are therefore entitled to get laid. I think this is a major problem with many swing clubs and that many of them just use the single guys to make money (which is why they don't have adequate screening processes).

As for what I think should be done to screen these guys....

1. A phone interview first and foremost to talk with the guy and find out what he's about and get an idea of his attitude. I realize that some guys can con/fake their way through this and will still get in.

2. An initial meeting with a responsible couple to actually meet him in person and get a sense of him, similar to the above and granted a guy can still fake his way in. But I think that with both the male and female half of a couple present to talk with him, it would be clear by the end of dinner whether or not he was sincere.

3. I think the orientation idea is a great one. Too many guys assume they know what the lifestyle or swing clubs are about and an orientation prior to being allowed to swing at the club would be a great way to not only show them what it is really about but also to see their dynamic in a group.

No matter what you do there will always be an asshole or two that sneaks through the cracks. I've talked to many single guys who claim to be active in the lifestyle yet who still come off as completely pushy assholes.. sometimes I think these guys just don't realize what swinging is all about. This ain't Austin Powers y'all.

Thanks, Julie. May I have your permission to print this and show it to the other members on our "member's committee"?

I think these are great ideas. Yes, sometimes the owners of these clubs let in these single guys just to make money, but they need to realize that by driving away COUPLES, who are REPEAT customers, they are actually LOSING money in the long run.

How often and for how long are single guys going to pay to get in when there are no couples or single women at the club anymore?

At that point, they're paying $100 a shot to watch porn movies and jerk off!

I think a hooker WOULD be cheaper!

P.S. we're going back to Saturdays, couples and females only. My MFM fantasy will have to happen another way.

You have my permission to share my thoughts with anyone you like, or send them here to read them

personally I think the idea of an orientation is a good one for all new people attending a club whether they be couples or singles. As well as a phone interview at least. Our kind of clubs really aren't the kind of place where you want people just walking in off the streets without at least having had a conversation with someone beforehand.

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Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

Our kind of clubs really aren't the kind of place where you want people just walking in off the streets without at least having had a conversation with someone beforehand

Very GOOD Point!

Thanks for your permission to share this. I will, of course, refer people to this site to read the entire thread. But our meetings are at the Club, so a printed version will work better for that.

And BTW, how many other clubs have a Member's Committee? It's something new we just started, but it's working VERY well!

We do sometimes go on a "single guy night" because it is free to get in........BUT we have never played with anyone. And the only single man I do see getting involved and playing is a member of the staff who has gotten to know people. Most of the others just hang around.....I am a REALLY friendly person and will strike up a conversation if someone looks lonely, but unfortunately every time I start a friendly converstion to try and include a single guy SOCIALLY it immediately turns into pressure for sex...............especially if my husband goes to the bathroom or to get me a drink........so I have just about quit being friendly!

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Originally posted by LIZA:

I am a REALLY friendly person and will strike up a conversation if someone looks lonely, but unfortunately every time I start a friendly conversation to try and include a single guy SOCIALLY it immediately turns into pressure for sex...............especially if my husband goes to the bathroom or to get me a drink........

I TOTALLY can relate to this! I am thinking of having the following statements printed on a flyer to hand to any guy who approaches me:

Just because I smile and say hello, does NOT mean "take me, take me, take me! I want your hot love muscle right now!"

When I say "No, thank you" in front of my husband, DO NOT assume I am then going to jump you and f#*k your brains out the minute hubby leaves the general vicinity!

NO MEANS NO!!!! On a date, at a dance club, at the grocery store, at a party, OR in a swinger's club!

Just because I may occasionally play with someone besides my husband SURE AS HELL does not mean I WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU!

My body is MINE! DO NOT touch it unless I tell you it's okay to.

If, after both my husband and I getting to know you, we decide to include you in OUR sexual play activities, REALIZE this is an extremely RARE PRIVILEGE! And treat it as such! Show us BOTH respect!

If we DO decide to play with you, and you do not treat it as the privilege it is, but instead talk about it to everyone else you know, TRUST ME, we will be your LAST swinging partners. No one likes guys who kiss & tell!

If, on the other hand, we decide to play with you, and you are every bit as mature and respectful as we hope, and we all have a wonderful time, you can probably look forward to many more good times ahead!

So, what do you think? Anyone want to order flyers?

(boy, it felt good to write that)

That is perfect! I love it! And yes, I want to order flyers. This should be printed up and handed out to every single man who wants to become involved in the lifestyle. It's great!

Teresa

Thanks, Teresa. The Hostess at the club LOVED it, too. She's ordering flyers, too!

I guess I really should print them up, huh?

We should make each single guy receive a copy before entering the club, and sign a statement that he read it, understood it, and received a copy. Kind of like the "Miranda" warning.

We could call it the "Layla" warning...LOL

Sounds like something I should add to the Single Guys section in "JustAskJulie" (along with a link to this forum... gee why didn't I do that before).

Hell, I think it would make great shirts, flyers, whatever and YES should be handed out to every single male entering a swing club.

Originally posted by LaylaSusanne:

I TOTALLY can relate to this! I am thinking of having the following statements printed on a flyer to hand to any guy who approaches me:

 

Just because I smile and say hello, does NOT mean "take me, take me, take me! I want your hot love muscle right now!"

 

Layla

Looks good! Except I'd take out the "love" part, his "muscle" has nothing to do with love, or isn't thinking anything about love then. But I know whatcha mean....*lol*

Glad you feel better "writing this" though!

QUICK, SEND ME A FLYER!

Boy am I pissed! Ted and I went to our regular club last night and for the first time since we have been going there we had a problem with a single guy. He was a guy we had been chatting to in the club chat room and met him for the fist time last night. I was out on the dance floor with a friend of ours when this guy ( who was dancing with someone else at the time) came up behind me and ran his hand up my dress!. HOW DARE HE! He had just met me 15 minutes earlier and had the balls to run his hand up my dress, while I was dancing with someone else. I told the friend I was dancing with what happened and he made sure it did not not happen again during that dance. When we returned to our table, I told my husband and another friend what had happened. Boy were they mad. They immediately told the owner of the club and the problem was taken care of immediately. No more problems that night. I was not traumatized by this experience in any way, I'M JUST PISSED AS HELL BY IT! So just wanted to let you know, when the flyers are ready..lol.. please send me one. Just writing this makes me feel better. Thanks.

This is another reason I am reluctant to go to a club. I know what my reaction would be. He would need an ambulance.

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Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:

This is another reason I am reluctant to go to a club. I know what my reaction would be. He would need an ambulance.

 

CyberHusband

ANOTHER reason why I would've handled this MYself!

I've learned a long time ago, to handle Inappropriateness by guys myself, and that seems to help with having to get others involved, and I like to keep things (regardless) discrete, and the trouble ends THERE!

When I was still in high school, we were out partying with some friends in the neighborhood park. One of the guys had a little too "much" to drink, when he tried to kiss me (even AFTER "asking" if he could do so, I told him NO!).

I was facing away from him, when he grabbed me and tried to place a kiss on my lips! Next thing he knew, he woke up from laying on the ground UNDER the bench where he was sitting before he did what he tried to do! He later came to, finding that the party was already over! *lol*

I PUNCHED him right in his face, knocking him out to the ground, right where I left him laying, but I DID make sure he was still breathing, and that there was no blood or anything like that!

ANYWAY....There were other incidence in my past life (before marrying Mr. Cyber *lol*), but we won't go there! But you know what I mean...*LOL*

I was never known to be a "girly girl", but more of a "Tom Boy" back then, and that part of me still exist, just don't "bring it outta me", or let my hubby find out what you've done to bring it outta me... *LOL*

Cyberwife

TNT,

I know how you feel. It sounds like you handled it very well, though. As for you, cyberwife, do you ever get to Florida? I think your style of handling these guys would make QUITE an impact!

We went again on Friday (single guy night) because we were begged to. What a mistake! 5 couples and about 20 or more single guys. (So WHAT!?!?! Each girl has to fuck 6 guys to make everyone happy---I DON'T THINK SO!)

NOTHING happened in the public rooms at all that night, because every time someone got up, even to go to the bathroom or the buffet table, they were followed by a dozen guys, panting, waiting to see what they were going to do. And even begging them to go do something.

Tom and I snuck off while another girl was doing a sexy dance that had most of the guys watching, and went into my FAVORITE room (the butterfly chair) We were just kissing, and still fully clothed, when about 8 guys entered the room ( a NO-NO) and 5 or 6 more outside the door watching. I told Tom (and he agreed) that this was WAY more of an audience than we wanted, and we got up to leave. The guys actually started booing us, saying "Come on, you didn't do anything" and "at least let us see your pussy" and "come on, baby, fuck him for us"

It was disgusting. I have never been LESS in the mood since giving birth to my kids. (which DOES make you not want sex AT ALL for a while)

EVERY couple either went in the private room, and had to wade through the guys listening at the door to get out, or just went home. All but one couple (who LIKES the single guys watching and touching) said they were NOT coming back on a Friday.

Neither are we. Couples nights only from now on. If we find a bi-guy we want to play with, we'll get a room or bring him home. We're both SO OVER wanting a guy at all right now, anyway.

It's sad, because there ARE some guys out there who are NOT creeps, and are respectful and polite, and into swinging for swinging. Not just to get laid.

I guess I'm printing flyers! I have so many orders for them!

And yes, I'll change "love muscle" to something else. Any suggestions?

Originally posted by LaylaSusanne:

TNT,

I know how you feel. It sounds like you handled it very well, though. As for you, cyberwife, do you ever get to Florida? I think your style of handling these guys would make QUITE an impact!

 

I guess I'm printing flyers! I have so many orders for them!

 

And yes, I'll change "love muscle" to something else. Any suggestions?

I would LIKE to visit Florida, since I've never been there....Yet! And if we do, and attend any clubs there, we'll be sure to attend the "Couples" night ONLY!

That SUCKS! Having to go through all that BS with the single-males that were there! I do agree that there ARE good single-males out there, just gotta find out where the heck they're hanging out at! The BEACHES, maybe? *Wanting to hit the beaches the first chance we ever get out to Florida...lol*

As for your flyers...HHhhmm...*Thinking of any suggestions...* We'll let you know if we cum up with one! *lol*

I just finished updating the Single Guys section in the "JustAskJulie - Info & Advice" area to include Layla's "Rules for Single Guys"... along with a request for any other ladies to add their own rules.

I guess I've been lucky, while we do play with single guys we've never gone to a club that allowed single guys (at least not on nights when we were there), and mainly because.. I have enough problems with the married guys at some of the clubs we go to.. the last thing I want to deal with is single ones too.

Most of you know that I do have an amateur site also and I've been to many parties that we've held for our members and fans and after-parties.. these usually turn into swinger parties and we have the same problems .. about 6-10 single guys for every girl there... and the same attitude .. even tho they didn't pay to get in.. they figure if you have sex with anyone then you should have sex with them too.

I was at a party in NYC about a week ago and we were in a private room just 5 or 6 of us (some with cameras, some playing) and every time the door opened for any reason we'd have a hoard of single guys trying to get in. One guy even opened the door himself and tried to walk in.. we pushed him out and the whole time he's saying "You sure you don't want me to join in?". Hmm we are pushing you out the door what do you think?

We do not understand how single men can call themselves swingers? They are just a bunch of horny guys trying to take advantage of a situation. We do not go to clubs in our area that allow single guys in. Too much hassle. It bothers us that some guy, who may or may not be able to get a woman, can walk in, with no commitment to anyone, and just have sex with your wife. They don't even try to charm you. They act like they are at a brothel and can walk up and pick up the whore that they like. We find it disgusting.

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:I was at a party in NYC about a week ago

Wow. Vegas AND New York City. You sure do get around.

Buck & Mary,

We had the discussion about singles being 'swingers'. There were quite a few heated remarks, but if you look it up in the dictionary, it says that a single swinger is called a 'Swingle'. Other than that, feel free to call it what you will.

It's my feeling that clubs should strictly limit the number of single guys allowed in at any given time.

CyberHusband

We went out last night tot he club we normally go to and it was a "single guys" night. There were 4-5 couples and about 10 single men. They are letting couples in free right now so I guess they have to make up for it by getting single guys at $100 a piece, which I can understand. But I feel really bad for these guys who pay $100 to play pool, drink their own booze and talk to other single guys. I dont think I want to go back on a night when they have single men, not because I feel uncomfortable or pressured by them, but I just feel really bad for them and it kind of ruins the night. Not to the point where I will volunteer for some mercy sex though

Quote

Originally posted by LIZA:

it kind of ruins the night. Not to the point where I will volunteer for some mercy sex though

WHAT?!?!?!? NO MERCY SEX?!?!?!? HOW insensitive! LOL

(just kidding) (they can have all the mercy they need from Mary Palm and her 5 sisters!

Quote

Originally posted by CanadianCouple:

 

Wow. Vegas AND New York City. You sure do get around.

Luckily I'm done for a while. I somehow managed to pack my entire years worth of travelling for parties and conventions into the first 7 months of the year.. and I keep managing to lump them on top of each other... makes for a very tiring month to say the least. Glad to be home and even gladder to know that I don't have to anywhere else for quite a while.

Buck & Mary... believe me, I know exactly what you mean. When I had a partner, we felt as you did. What made it worse was the large military population. I had to give a guy a fat lip one night because of what he said to my sweetie. POP!

Geez, when I read all of the posts from single guys, I can't help but feel a little funny about it now that I've been out of the lifestyle for a few months. I centainly don't consider myself a swinger anymore... not without a partnet. Anyone who tries to get in without a partner is pretty much a loser.

Originally posted by Lysander:

Geez, when I read all of the posts from single guys, I can't help but feel a little funny about it now that I've been out of the lifestyle for a few months. I certainly don't consider myself a swinger anymore... not without a partner. Anyone who tries to get in without a partner is pretty much a loser.

And the sad part is that since you WERE active in the lifestyle as a couple and already have those connections.. you could easily be involved now as a single guy.. and based on what we've seen of your attitude in your posts.. at least you'd be there for the right reasons.

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

And the sad part is that since you WERE active in the lifestyle as a couple and already have those connections.. you could easily be involved now as a single guy.. and based on what we've seen of your attitude in your posts.. at least you'd be there for the right reasons.

I would have to agree with Julie. To me, you're still a swinger. Just single at the moment.

And yeah, based on the attitude and posts I've read, you'd be more than welcome at the club we go to.

I even think Tom would like you.

(and BTW, considering my attitude towards single guys lately, that's quite a compliment)

I know this subject has been dead for a while, but I just thought that I should add something. First, I'm sorry for all the bad treatment that everyone received from uncouth horndogs, especiallly Layla, that sounded very nasty. Second, I am totally amazed that there are so many clubs which allow such a huge amount of single guys. I live in the Mid Atlantic area and there are quite a few VERY nice clubs. But everyone of these clubs has a policy of admitting 1 single guy to 6 couples and that's final! These are weekend only clubs and reservations must always be made in advance, usually no later than Tuesday for single guys. Dress codes are also strictly enforced for all males, single or attached. There has never been any major trouble at all at any of these clubs, as far as I know, though I did observe a dorky guy starting to rub a woman's butt as they were watching an orgy. But she just said "Who the hell are you" and he sheepishly walked away. Again, I am really astounded at the stories here of almost "free for all" guy nights, since I have never heard of such a thing. I might add that I am a single male myself and am totally satisfied with how things are now. I love the clubs, whether I meet someone and have sex there or not. Even if I don't even meet new friends, I have a wonderful time flirting and playing the nights theme games. I just enjoy the open, free, friendly and erotic atmosphere. Sometimes I even feel like an intense, sensual, erotic "sponge" and just "absorb" the erotic energy of the place. One time I actually left feeling erotically "supercharged" as if I had been having sex all night! :p

I just wanna say, me and my wife have been in the swinging scene for a lil over 2 years now. Well, since we've been in it, all we have met with is guys only. I'm very well satisfied with what I get from my wife and I really don't need anything else. Yes there is a place in the lifestyle for single guy, but only the ones that are in it for the friendship and the fun, not just a free lay. That has happened to us a couple of times, and its no fun at all, but there is 2 other guys right now that we do meet with occasionally and they are our opinion of true single guy swingers!!!