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Ditto

Can a man have sex with a woman without physical attraction?

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Hi ya'all,

 

Please forgive this really stupid question but Mr Ditto and I have been having a disagreement that maybe ya'all could help us with.

 

He thinks that a man can have sex/swing and not be really attracted to the women.

 

On the other hand I think that most women have to be attracted to the man in order to have sex/swing.

 

So....... Do the ladies of the board need to feel a "Real" attraction for the guy OR is a genuine fondness for him all that is needed to make the decision to swing?

 

Thanks

 

Mrs Ditto

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Originally posted by Ditto

Hi ya'all,

 

Please forgive this really stupid question but Mr Ditto and I have been having a disagreement that maybe ya'all could help us with.

 

He thinks that a man can have sex/swing and not be really attracted to the women.

 

On the other hand I think that most women have to be attracted to the man in order to have sex/swing.

 

So....... Do the ladies of the board need to feel a "Real" attraction for the guy OR is a genuine fondness for him all that is needed to make the decision to swing?

 

Thanks

 

Mrs Ditto

 

Actually, Mrs. Ditto, this is a really interesting question and could be answered several different ways, depending on interpretation.

 

For the purpose of my own clarification, I'm defining "attraction" as liking the looks, body build, hair, etc., etc. while "fondness" is defined as liking the person for their personality, common interests, values, etc., etc.

 

OK...for me...like most I suspect, physical attraction is the first thing I notice in a stranger. It's either there or not. However, beyond that is the "fondness" aspect and that comes into play greatly for me. I could meet the worlds Adonis but if he didn't hold appeal for me in terms of personality, conversational ability, and many other non-physical attributes, I would not want to swing with him. Somehow...someway...people that are all of the things that I personally appreciate in people take on an attractive appearance. Maybe not immediately, but over time.

 

Now as for attraction, you could also be speaking of "sex appeal." Again, tho', the Adonis may have the initial sex appeal, but 2 minutes of boring conversation or the impression that he thinks he's greater than I think he is (among other things) will kill any attraction I may have initially felt.

 

So! Until clarified further, I vote for "fondness." - EBF :)

 

PS: I've read this 2-3 times. When I do that, it seems I've always missed the point. (Upfront disclaimer!)

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There's gonna have to be some sort of attraction for me-- whether it be to his great personality, his beautiful body, his sweet smile, etc.

 

I'm not going to be attracted to an empty-headed guy, either. So he will have to be somewhat intelligent.

 

I sort of have high standards, though, I guess. I 'm married to the world's greatest guy!

 

Best,

SARA

(who is feeling very affectionate towards her hubby today!...)

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I read the initial post, and I thought I could respond and feel good in doing so. Then, I read EBF's response and now...

 

I'm sitting here with my head tilted to one side, my mouth open just a little, and my eyes have that glazed over blank look...

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Originally posted by jen

I read the initial post, and I thought I could respond and feel good in doing so. Then, I read EBF's response and now...

 

I'm sitting here with my head tilted to one side, my mouth open just a little, and my eyes have that glazed over blank look...

 

Why, Jen, did my post cause you to gulp and yell for help? I'm confused....:confused: Did I miss the point entirely? - EBF :)

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I have to say there has to be some attraction there and I also look for someone who has a great sense of humor and a good character. Attraction is a necessary thing for me, if its not there then its not normally going to work out.

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Originally posted by Elusive BiFem

Why, Jen, did my post cause you to gulp and yell for help? I'm confused....:confused: Did I miss the point entirely? - EBF :)

 

I dunno if you did or you didn't, I only know that your thoughts caused me more thoughts and the re - thoughts caused my head to tilt to one side and my mouth.. oh you remember.

 

The whole thing is confusing cause do you have sex with someone you have zero attraction to? Could you? Is that the question itself?

 

If I am being asked -- could I have sex with someone that I had no attraction of any kind to...then no just no no no.

 

If I am being asked...does the attraction have to be from physical appearance...then no just no no no.

 

Attractions for me very rarely are from appearance.

 

Maybe a smile or a certain way I was looked at or spoken to.

 

Maybe the way he interacts with others around him.

 

Maybe a kindness he expressed to a stranger that I was lucky enough to witness --

 

Or maybe any combination of a zillion different things has sparked my initial interest. There has to be some sort of interest or attraction.

 

If I'm being asked would I be ok with someone just having sex with me even though they have no attraction to me of any sort.....then no just no no no.

 

I dunno or something.

 

EBF, your post gave me good thoughts as always!

 

The gulps and helps were from the mix of thoughts. I think I'm better now, my bad.

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Wow Ladies,

 

After re-reading my initial post, Heck I'm confused now! :lol:

 

The Attraction that I am speaking of is the no holds barred, I wanna jump your bones type of attraction or chemistry if you will.

 

Lets say you meet a couple at a club. The guy is fairly good looking, has a nice smile, is well groomed, polite and respectful. After several drinks, you get up and slow dance a bit. The conversation is witty and the guy is fun to visit with, but the attraction or chemistry is just not there for you.

 

In the mean time tho, your partner is enjoying themself with the other half of the couple and the attraction/chemistry "IS" there.

 

Would you swing with the couple anyway under these circumstances?

 

Later,

 

Mrs Ditto

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Indeed a tough question... Mrs. Ditto! :lol:

 

In my 43 years, I have only ever seen one man that just flat out floored me. I was in my early twenties and just happened to turn around to him staring me in the face. Needless to say I made a blubbering fool of myself, he wanted change for a dollar and I wanted to faint. I was complete mush and would have been putty in his hands. But he just wanted change.

 

That said. I can speak for Mr. O and myself on this one. We are attracted to those that are similar to us in our morals and beliefs. That is where the attraction begins. Attractive people come in all sorts of packages and, like Jen, maybe it is just a random act of kindness that we innocently and unbeknownst to them witness, or how they treat the others around them. You can tell a lot about how (speaking of couples here) a person is, in how they treat their spouses. I'm not trying to leave singles out, we just haven't really met with any other than briefly in the context of swinging, so I don't know about that yet.

 

So attractiveness for us begins with someone who is not self centered, has common interests and those who have good, kind hearts. Once that has been established, then the sparks may begin to fly. And those kind of people come in all kinds of packaging.

 

So, I suppose you could say we are attracted immensely to the heart and just can't be attracted to those that don't possess one.

 

As for swinging with someone where we both aren't interested in the other couple, we've been there, done that....and it doesn't work out well for us. So if there isn't mutual interest, we don't play, period.

 

Geesh, Mrs. Ditto....Are all your questions gonna be this tough? ;)

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Originally posted by Ditto

Wow Ladies,

 

After re-reading my initial post, Heck I'm confused now! :lol:

 

The Attraction that I am speaking of is the no holds barred, I wanna jump your bones type of attraction or chemistry if you will.

 

Lets say you meet a couple at a club. The guy is fairly good looking, has a nice smile, is well groomed, polite and respectful. After several drinks, you get up and slow dance a bit. The conversation is witty and the guy is fun to visit with, but the attraction or chemistry is just not there for you.

 

In the mean time tho, your partner is enjoying themself with the other half of the couple and the attraction/chemistry "IS" there.

 

Would you swing with the couple anyway under these circumstances?

 

Later,

 

Mrs Ditto

 

Ok, Mrs. Ditto...I did all that writing before, and now....I'm not doing more! :D

 

Short answer. No.

 

I'm only 1/2 of a couple since I'm single, but if I'm not interested in both, no. And...an added twist to this saga...if I don't sense that both like me....no. - EBF

 

(Bet you didn't think I had a concise answer in me, did you? ;) )

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We are members of an on premise club and go to the club most Saturday nights. As many have said, each night is different. We make it a practice to discuss the various couples that one of us may like to play with to see if the other is also interested in them. After almost 31 years of marriage, we are usually in agreement.

 

However, the decision to act is up to me, the female half. I am finding that although I may agree with hubby on our interest in a couple, I need more interaction with the couple before deciding to act.

 

Hubby finds the other wife attractive physically and is ready to play.

 

I find the other husband attractive physically but hesitate until there has been some conversation.

 

Now, the conversation usually confirms the initial attraction, but I am more comfortable with taking the time to get to know the other couple.

 

Hope I made sense.

 

Pauline

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Originally posted by Ditto

He thinks that a man can have sex/swing and not be really attracted to the women.

 

On the other hand I think that most women have to be attracted to the man in order to have sex/swing.

 

Uh... I'd have to say exactly the opposite.

 

for a man to achieve an erection... I would expect some attraction would have to be there.

 

but women can have sex even without being excited...

 

 

 

Lets say you meet a couple at a club. The guy is fairly good looking, has a nice smile, is well groomed, polite and respectful. After several drinks, you get up and slow dance a bit. The conversation is witty and the guy is fun to visit with, but the attraction or chemistry is just not there for you.

 

In the mean time tho, your partner is enjoying themself with the other half of the couple and the attraction/chemistry "IS" there.

 

Would you swing with the couple anyway under these circumstances?

 

depends on Your PERSONAL Rules

 

if you only swing together... never separately then... No...

there should be mutual attraction between all the parties involved.

the other term I have heard used for this is "take one for the team"...

 

 

if you do swing separately than... that is between you both... whatever your own rules are... he can go off with her and leave you free to find your fun elsewhere...

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For us, we both want attraction.

 

I have to find the woman exciting. I'm not going to do just anyone so she can have her stud.

 

Same the other way. She has said no to couples where I was going NUTS. We had a couple send a picture. She was amazing. He was 15 years older and quite overweight.

 

So, for us, we both have to be into it. No charity here.

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I think most men or women CAN have sex with no attraction, but most won't. We really prefer to be at least friends before we jump in the sack. On the other hand, once when I arranged a GB for my hunny, I had her blindfolded and taped the proceedings(with all permissions of course). She had no idea who was doing her until she saw the tape and even then some she didn't know at all.

J

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OMG--I not even going to read the other post after reading the first.

 

Personally---I can look less at the looks for the female, but the MRS "k" is VERY picky on the men of cpls. So picky we have not been able to full swap yet!!!! Oh---it's killing me!!!! Sexy looking ladies and ugly men----hehehehehe. It is going to take us years at this rate.

 

As "K" says----she bets these men were once good looking when they first married, but have let themself go as time goes on.

 

She wonders why the females tend to look better as time goes on. I turn 40 in 6 weeks and wish more men would take care of their body and looks so my mrs would want to play----lol. I can say it is ok for a lady to be slightly overweight and still feel ok about it, but the mrs says she will not lower her standards on a man's body to mine. Maybe I should get fat too just so I can play---hehehehehe. Oh well---we all hold good looks in our own eyes. What I think looks good the mrs says yuck and vice versa.

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This is one of those areas where I really think that swinging differes from dating. In the real world, I think that as a woman I do have to actually be attracted to a guy to have sex with him. Granted that attraction may not always be looks based. I can think of several guys that on the surface I didn't find attractive but getting to know them definately made them look better and more attractive to me.

 

When it comes to swinging, there have been many cases where I wasn't necessarily attracted to the guy but I did like him as a person (was fond of as you said) and therefore would swing with him (if all other things balanced out - his wife and my hubby were attracted/ wanted to play/ etc).

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::P: I feel like I have to have a physical attraction to someone before considering a canidate. My husband feels the same way. Than if they have brains that would add to the fun.

We met a few couples where the man was ugly but the woman was attractive. In the same token we met a couple where the man was attractive but the woman was so so. It is hard to find people we are both attracted to.

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I think there has to be an attraction on all ends for it to work... As far as "taking one for the team" We personally couldn't do it...

 

We are in it together and if one of us is not enjoying any part of it then whats the point.

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Ok so I am having some what of the same problem with my other half. He has talked to this couple and is attracted to the female half but I am not attracted to the male half. I decided ok I'll talk to him maybe get to know him a little better then just maybe I'll feel better about it right. Well in talked to him almost everything he well let's say types annoys me he has the worst manners and attitude I've have ever dealt with so I'm saying no here!

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Why in the world would anyone want to have sex with someone that they are not attracted to? I guess I could physically force myself to screw a goat or a fellow inmate if I had to. But really? This is something that I have never understood about some swingers and this is certainly not the first time I have heard it. I guess some people will just screw anything just to do it. Thats not swinging, thats just sleazy.

 

The Devil

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I suppose it depends on the couple's rules. We are in this together, so for us that means that both of us agree on our playing partners. Some people have a wider variety of tastes than other people .. this does not imply better or worse, just different. If any half of a couple doesn't have a problem "taking one for the team" then go for it, but he/she should not be expected to do so and certainly not pressured to do so.

 

Tantra

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What a great question Ditto! We find attraction such an ephemeral thing....aside from I want the guy to have a decent "package", and I'm learning to give a little grope there before getting hot and heavy, (3" hard JUST won't do it for me) we don't have any checklist or limiting criteria. We just give each other a little nod if we like them. No nod? No play.

 

One couple we had seen pics of beforehand and who were good friends of another couple hosting a houseparty, were much hotter in person facelick . The man was really into me, all smiling and talkative and seemed like a really good guy. His wife, however, hovered around checking us out, and the next time the man was near me, he had become rather reserved. We assumed his wife had exnayed any further involvement and we let it be.

 

I found out later, quite by accident, that these 2 aren't married, aren't even living together and so now I have a lot of questions about them...are they married to other people? Are they really in a relationship or just 'tickets' to get to events? I should clarify that honesty and a stable relationship are important to us and we ask our play partners to be the same.

 

One other difficulty I have is that I'm not bi and so many swinger women ARE. I'm just not sexually attracted to women and I've always felt very uncomfortable when women come on to me. So many men want to watch women get sexual with each other, and when I say 'I'm not bi' you can pretty much hear the doors slam shut. *clang*

 

In one other instance, we had attended a private party, and one couple got in touch with us a few days later. The man asked to meet for a coffee. My guy couldn't attend, so the other man and I met. He told me that his partner was really into my guy and they wanted us all to get together again and he wanted it to be a surprise for her. Warning bells should have gone off then, but they didn't. We arranged to meet and, as long as the other guy was watching her, he was fine. When he had to pay attention to me, he went soft. It became painfully clear that because we were a couple, they felt they had to allow me along for the ride.

 

And guess what...turns out these 2 were married, but not to each other. I have since learned, the hard way, to talk more and get to know couples before you play, to ask 'are you married?' then ask 'to each other?' and to be sure that he is attracted to ME and not the IDEA.

 

:bricks:

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Originally posted by JustAskJulie

Granted that attraction may not always be looks based. I can think of several guys that on the surface I didn't find attractive but getting to know them definately made them look better and more attractive to me.

 

When it comes to swinging, there have been many cases where I wasn't necessarily attracted to the guy but I did like him as a person (was fond of as you said) and therefore would swing with him (if all other things balanced out - his wife and my hubby were attracted/ wanted to play/ etc).

 

 

I completely agree. If I waited for someone I was physically attracted to I might not ever swing. They are few and far between. Atleast in the lifestyle in my area.

 

What I have found is that looks are not near as important as the person! The more I get to know them, either I like them or I don't. One of my best play friends is the furthest from what I would usually consider as attractive to me. But, he is the most incredible guy. Articulate, funny, warm, friendly, and very erotic.

 

I must also add: It doesn't matter what the attraction, physical or otherwise if the package isn't there!!

 

originally posted by yawanna

(3" hard JUST doesn't do it for me)

 

mrs hmr ;)

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Originally posted by Ditto

Hi ya'all,

 

He thinks that a man can have sex/swing and not be really attracted to the women.

 

On the other hand I think that most women have to be attracted to the man in order to have sex/swing.

 

 

This man can tell you, if I'm not attracted to the girl its NOT going to happen. I'm very shallow when it comes to that. Luckly for me, my wife isn't so shallow :lol:

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HMR

 

I think there are two things you need to ask yourself.

 

1) Why do you have the NEED to swing so badly that you cant wait for someone

you at least find attractive? It sounds alot more like addictive thinking than a healthy interest to me.

2) Why would you chance a disease risk with someone you arent even attracted to? Again this sounds

like getting a "fix" rather than something truly worthwhile that you have a healthy interest in.

 

The Devil

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Devil

 

Thank you for your insight, but I don't need to ask myself anything about why I swing. Maybe I just didn't explain myself well enough for you!

 

The point I was trying to make, is physical attraction is not the only attraction between people. Especially swingers! I am not talking about a 'Steak tied around the neck Dog'. Just your average Joe that doesn't really turn me on.

 

After getting to know someone, they have certain qualities that make them more attractive as a person. Thier personality, attitude, vivaciousness, an ease about them you might say. Some people just seem to have an air about them that is contagious. I am very picky! But looks don't mean anything if the person is an ass or an uneducated redneck! You give me a halfway decent lookingman, with a good personality, can carry on a intellegent conversation, and then we might be cooking with gas.

 

As far as a man's package, I usually don't know until after we have finally decided to have an encounter. Then it is too late! I may just be in for a boring night. Not a complete loss though, because I was attracted to him in the fist place by something. There has to be some reason! I am not just there because I want to get laid! I could do that without going through the trouble of getting to know someone, setting up meetings and all the other bullshit!

 

I don't know about you Devil, but I didn't marry my husband because of his looks.....and I sure didn't start swinging because of all the good looking people in the lifestyle. I'm in the lifestyle because I and my husband enjoy it. We enjoy sharing ourselves with others. We like the excitement, and stimulation it brings into our lives and marriage. We also enjoy the friends we have met, and new ones yet to come. I am not addicted, but I am not going to turn down a man just because he does not look like Viggo Mortenson, or Kevin Costner! Beauty is much deeper than just the skin.

 

Don't get me wrong.... I do like a hot good looking man! I'm just saying.....Looks aren't everything to me!

 

 

mrs. hmr:)

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Attraction is in the eye of the beholder. My situation is such that I'm really only strongly attracted to Bear. Ain't love grand. So, as others have stated, attration is the whole package. There are so many factors involved it is hard to quantify. If a man is very attracted to me, that is a huge turn on. So is making me laugh, a good conversation, or the way he treats his SO. Looks comes at the bottom of the list. Of course the more I get to know a couple, the more I get to like them, the more attracted I become to whole package. Heck, the best experience I ever had was with someone I was not physically attracted to but I can promise you I have no regrets about that one.

 

We've never done the on-premise play, but have always had at least one meeting before getting together. I do have hopes to go to either a party or an on-premise club where I'll probably have a more insightful answer to the question.

 

-- Bunny

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Good morning! What a great topic! We are in the process of "interviewing" single men at this time to fulfill our MFM fantasy. First, we get their photo from the internet via various swingers boards. If I find their photo attractive then we email back and forth a few times to get a hint of their personality. Then, if all seems to be favorable, we set up the inital dinner/drinks meeting. For me, I HAVE to find the guy attractive and feel there could be a sexual connection. Men and women can be good looking all day long, but if I don't feel sexually attracted to them....It's all over. The personality part comes into play secondary to the physical. I just can't be intimate with anyone whom I don't find attractive. The other thing I am sure to avoid is anyone who is better looking, better built, etc than my hubby. The reason for that, is in an intimate situation, I do not want him to feel inferior or not attractive. So, needless to say, we are having a hard time finding singles, as NO ONE is better looking or has more sex appeal than "Handsome".

In a nutshell, first sex appeal and attraction then personality.

Have a "Nauti" day!

Jen

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HMR,

 

1) I was talking about the criteria that you place on swinging partners. Why would you correlate this to reasons you married your spouse? I certainly hope that you are not placing people you choose to screw for shits and giggles on the same level with your life partner.

2) It wasnt talking about sleeping with someone on the sole basis of looks alone. There are plenty of people out there

who have good personalities, are relatively intelligent, have sex appeal, and are very easy on the eyes(I realize this is relative to the individuals tastes).But that might actually require some personal restraint and may deprive you of immediate gratification. But on the other hand you cant beat it when you find it.

3) If your going to break the "no touching others rule" that most other marriages go by (or are at least supposed to go by) why wouldnt you want it to be for something great instead of mediocre or slightly above.

4) Personally,when we pull our pants down its really really worth it. I guess for some it doesnt have to be.

 

The Devil

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I think the reason that Bunny and I tend to look at the "attraction" issue differently than most is because, not to put too fine a point on it, we are not Barbie and Ken clones, who can pick and choose pretty much whomever they want to play with, with all the superficiality that goes along with that. We are a no-more-than "average" couple looks-wise, as those who have met us can attest.

 

Therefore perforce we have to be a little more "open-minded" about who we play with insofar as looks are concerned. This is not to say that we will jump into bed with just anyone who comes along; far from it. In fact, we have quite strict criteria regarding who we will get intimate with, and what traits they must have before we will play with them.

 

However, what we have learned, and I think it was Julie who said essentially this same thing, is that we might meet someone who, at first, did not fire our thrusters. However, we also know that there is often more to a person than just their looks (the short version; personality, intellect and common interests), and on more than one occasion we have met with couples that didn't do it for us right off, but after getting to know them, we found that they were, in fact, quite attractive after all. It just took a little closer look to see it, and often it turns out that a great time is had by all.

 

Those of you who have the luxury of being able to pick and choose those you deign to play with, all I can say is, more power to you, and go forth and enjoy yourselves...while it lasts. Because beauty, like glory, is fleeting... :cool:

 

But even though I can never prove this, I'll wager that we have as much, if not more, sex that the lookers do, and as good as, if not better than (and more often than not, it probably is better), anything the B&KCs get. Which just goes to show, you don't have to look like Keanu Reeves or Catherine Zeta Jones in order to have a fabulous time swinging.

 

Oh, and as an aside, while I'm not going to name any names here, on a couple of earlier posts I saw some references to women grabbing or feeling up the "packages" of potential male playmates so as to make sure they had big enough cocks to suit them.

 

Well, my phallic member is a damn sight longer than three inches, but I can guarantee you that anyone that did something like that to me, would not only be denied now and forever the honor and priveledge of worshiping at the altar of Bear's Quality Cock, but she would get one of my famous growls and a big piece of my mind (and if this happened in my home, after that I'd throw her out so hard she'd bounce).

 

Because that has to be one of the most egregiously rude things I've ever heard of in all my time swinging.

 

Can you imagine the howls of outrage from all and sundry were I to come up to some potential play partner and grab her crotch and give her a good checkout? After all, anyone *I* play with MUST have a tight pussy, and *I* must make sure ahead of time that she "measures up". I mean, the last thing *I* want is to end up with some gal whose twat is so big that the only STD I could catch from her is windburn.

 

Yes indeed, I would rather sleep amongst a legion of devils (no, not THAT Devil...;) for twenty years than endure the invective the female swinger community here would heap upon me for five minutes should I make such an admission. Hell, if that got out they'd kick me out of the Houston swinger community and I'd have to wear a paper bag over my head for six months or however long it took to live it down.

 

Now, I know that the ladies can get away with a lot of things us guys would never be allowed to; after all, they are the Keepers of the Sweet Spot, and so have the power. And as has been discussed in this thread, we all have our "requirements" vis a vis potential play partners, and that is fine.

 

But even so, I still say that this is the most incredibly crass thing I've seen in a dog's age, from a male or female, and anyone who would admit to it should also be paper-bag-over-the-head ashamed (never mind that in so doing, the tacit admission is also that they themselves have one of those windburn-sized love tunnels, which is why they have this Dick of Death fixation in the first place; an admission that, were I female, I would be disinclined to make public, just as the guy with the three-inch penis would not want that bit of news about himself getting out either).

 

Consider yourselves suitably chastised.

 

-- Bear

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oh for heaven's sake bear_n_hunny! :rolleyes:

 

here...have one of the pills the vet gave me for my lion eerrrr....kat....he gets himself all wound up and scared and aggressive....we call it kitty prozac :D

 

Here in Ontario we have swinger clubs, off premise only, and house parties, to meet people at. Both offer dancing and if there is a man I think I might be interested in, during a dance or intimate conversation, I will give a 'caress'....to check the package. We will also kiss and run our hands over each other, some people lap dance, some women take their shirts off, hell I've even seen someone's bra fly overhead. (that time it wasn't mine :eek: ) It's called 'flirting' and it's one opportunity to excite as well as check ;)

 

The men do not take such liberties unless expressly invited to, and perhaps it's my openness, maybe my soft hands, maybe the way I kiss I don't know but I have never had a man shriek or get offended. Never.

 

I did not say I was a 'size queen'. I said 3" won't do it for me. And there are 3" men at these events. At house parties often there is a hot tub and some men walk around in their 'all together' which is fine by me! No touching required unless it's play time :D

 

so chill baby

 

:cool:

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Hey how are you good I hope. Well I have been swinging for 7 years. and if I am not atracted to the woman it is not as good as if she is my type.

 

Lawdog

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Having the personal restraint and the discretion to wait for an opportunity where you actually find the person attractive in addition to having other favorable attributes and being purely superficial are two totally different things. One is being selective and one is being shallow.

 

Beauty isnt always fleeting. It is almost always relative but not necessarily transient. I used to work at a bar that was for the most part a trendy meat market in my early 20's. I was surrounded by tight young little hotties 24/7. None of these girls on their best day could touch this one group of women who came in on fridays for happy hour. They were all in their early to late 40's. And every 21 yr old guy in that joint would have cut off a toe to have a go at any one of them( me included).

 

The Devil

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Originally posted by yawanna

oh for heaven's sake bear_n_hunny! :rolleyes:

 

 

 

I did not say I was a 'size queen'. I said 3" won't do it for me. And there are 3" men at these events. At house parties often there is a hot tub and some men walk around in their 'all together' which is fine by me! No touching required unless it's play time :D

 

Off topic:

 

How do you tell size when its not erect? Just curious, I'm an average 6"er but soft it can be anywhere from 4.5 to 1.5 depending on who knows what.

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Can't answer that one chicup.....never grabbed err carressed any, or viewed any that were or stayed soft :D

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Originally posted by Chicup

Off topic:

 

How do you tell size when its not erect? Just curious, I'm an average 6"er but soft it can be anywhere from 4.5 to 1.5 depending on who knows what.

I have to agree here. I've seen some that don't look or feel like diddly squat and then turn into more than I can handle. Count Mr. O among those... :eek:

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Originally posted by yawanna

oh for heaven's sake bear_n_hunny! :rolleyes:

 

here...have one of the pills the vet gave me for my lion eerrrr....kat....he gets himself all wound up and scared and aggressive....we call it kitty prozac :D

 

Here in Ontario we have swinger clubs, off premise only, and house parties, to meet people at. Both offer dancing and if there is a man I think I might be interested in, during a dance or intimate conversation, I will give a 'caress'....to check the package. We will also kiss and run our hands over each other, some people lap dance, some women take their shirts off, hell I've even seen someone's bra fly overhead. (that time it wasn't mine :eek: ) It's called 'flirting' and it's one opportunity to excite as well as check ;)

 

The men do not take such liberties unless expressly invited to, and perhaps it's my openness, maybe my soft hands, maybe the way I kiss I don't know but I have never had a man shriek or get offended. Never.

 

I did not say I was a 'size queen'. I said 3" won't do it for me. And there are 3" men at these events. At house parties often there is a hot tub and some men walk around in their 'all together' which is fine by me! No touching required unless it's play time :D

 

so chill baby

 

:cool:

 

Well, believe it or not, even down here in backwards, reactionary Texas, we have off-premise swing clubs, as well as on-premise clubs and "house parties", and people are even known to do the sort of "flirting" you describe, including feeling each other up to one degree or another. BFD. Your own statements make it clear you are indeed a "size queen", whether you want to admit it or not, and as for the reasons why... :D

 

In any case, if you didn't "get it" before, you never will, and I will waste no more time with you.

 

As for Devil, you are full of it, Ace. Beauty IS fleeting. Sooner or later, time and gravity will catch up with everybody. Deal with it.

 

Oh sure, if you have the money, the process can be delayed. Here's an example; a few years back I visited Hippie Hollow, a park on Lake Travis (north of Austin) where nude swimming and sunbathing takes place. While there this couple shows up, the guy is a short balding, fiftysomething dude, nothing to write home about. His wife was another matter. While it was clear she was in her forties, she had the best "Body by Fisher" money could buy (which was no doubt the reason she was with this rather ordinary looking dude; enough money in one's bank account will make certain ladies suddenly realize that a guy with a small tool is actually just what she wants and needs... :lol: ).

 

Man, what a bod. All over tan, legs up to here, an ass to die for, neatly trimmed pubes on a pretty little pussy, skin so tight that if you had popped her with your finger, she'd have thumped like a snare drum, and the nicest set of 40-D cup anti-gravity tits I've ever seen. If a good-looking woman comes around, I'm going to look, especially if she's showing it off in some way, although I'm usually pretty circumspect about it. In her case, though, my mouth fell open and I frankly stared in amazement. Of course, she got huffy about it, poor baby...:D

 

But the fact is, even this gal will lose it eventually, and not even the plastic surgeon's art will be able to prevent it. Not only that, but most of Devil's sweet young things are not going to end up married to some rich sugar daddy who will be willing to drop a hundred grand on having her nipped and tucked from head to toe as, again, time and gravity take their inevitable toll, so they will experience this even sooner.

 

So as I said before, boys and girls, enjoy it while it lasts, because it won't last forever...:fun:

 

-- Bear

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In any case, if you didn't "get it" before, you never will, and I will waste no more time with you.

 

 

I choose to use smilie icons like :D and :cool: in an effort to show I'm smiling, not angry, not annoyed. If I wanted to argue with someone I'd call the phone co. to complain about my bill, anything but post on here.

 

What happened to 'friendly banter' :confused:

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Bear,

 

Beauty isnt fleeting. It is relative to ones age. I dont expect a women who is 50 to resemble a 21 yr old. I always take age into consideration when analyzing an individuals beauty. I never hold the inevitable effects of aging against anyone.But people in our sedentary society often blame certain physical deteriorations on age when it should be more aptly attributed to their apathy.

My mother in law looked damn near as good in a bikini as her daughters did until she was 50 and hadnt has so much as a chemical peel. She had lines and maybe her breasts werent as firm as a highschool cheerleader but she looked great. She also worked to keep her body in shape. Wrinkles,receding hairlines,

some effects of gravity cannot be helped. Fat and flabby asses,stomachs,calves,thighs, and arms can most definately be.

And contrary to the rhetoric of those who arent willing to exercise,

it can be achieved without plastic surgery. Take a real good look at someone that you would consider to be a victim of time and really analyze them. Most of the things that cause this appearance are correctable.

 

 

TOP THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU LOOK OLDER THAN YOU SHOULD

 

1) Fitness. People often mistake being out of shape as a sign of aging. I cant tell you how many times at the gym I have seen someone come in looking 45 and a year later look 35 due to fitness alone. And I've seen men in their 60's who look like they could easily put you in the hospital with a punch. This is fact. Just because you are too lazy to keep your body in shape doesnt mean that its an impossible feat that defies the laws of physics.

 

2) Innappropriate body hair growth. As men age they often let the hair in their ears,nose,chest, and eyebrows get out of control.

You would be suprised at how many years it takes off an individual when these areas are kept up. Women should never overpluck or draw part of your eyebrows on. This is humorous looking at best.

 

3) Fashion. As people age they often fall into looking dated. It was only cool to wear fashions that were popular in the 80's

in the 80's. I'm not saying its cool to see 70yr olds dressed like Brittany Spears but you can at least wear something tasteful from the last decade. The same goes for your hair. Anyone still sporting a mullet should be killed on site.

 

The Devil

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Who says this isnt friendly banter for some? Some people dont even yell during a divorce and some raise hell just asking for someone to pass the gravy at the dinner table. Bear and I give hell to one another at times but that doesnt mean we are being unfriendly.We know where we truly stand with one another. :)I just think that neither one of us are afraid to truly speak our minds.There are enough people here who post socially safe,politically correct, nonoffending,dull and unoriginal feel good fluff ridden posts that would even make Barney vomit. I personally love it when Bear accuses me of having my head up my ass or calls me Ace or Sonny. It meant that what I had to say was worth a passionate and personalized response.

 

The Devil

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Who says this isnt friendly banter for some?

 

 

 

I was speaking for myself to Bear :D

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quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Who says this isnt friendly banter for some?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I was speaking for myself to Bear

 

Now, I'm going to have to tell y'all a secret about Bear. He is the sweetest, most cuddly and loyal person in the whole world. All this friendly banter does him a world of good. There are few things he loves better than a good debate. I've just learned to avoid topics that will set him off if I don't have a spare three or four hours to banter with him. At least he doesn't call me Ace or Sonny.

 

-- Bunny

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Originally posted by bear_n_bunny

I've just learned to avoid topics that will set him off if I don't have a spare three or four hours to banter with him. At least he doesn't call me Ace or Sonny.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: I understand, more than you will ever know, I live that daily!!!!

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:rolleyes: OH PLEASE! O.K. Not the best analogy, but it served my purpose. To show appearance wasn't what I based attraction on. (FONDNESS) Should have made that stipulation in my first post. Sorry! Thought it would be understood.;)

 

As far as personal restraint, that is why we have meetings. Why we have a selection process. Not every message or email is chosen for a meeting, and not every meeting ends in an encounter. Email, IMs, and/or phone conversations usually preceed any meeting.(clubs and parties being the exceptions)

 

I wish I could say every encounter was sexually great, but that would be a lie. Except for clubs and house parties, I don't know what a man is packing. The truth is you don't know what your getting until the encounter happens. A man may be well endowed and not know how to use it right. The same can be said for a woman's wears. So, instead of a great night of sex, you share a mediocre night of sex, great eroticism, extreme sensualism, fantastic stimulation, and wonderful companionship with fabulous people! It really IS a GREAT night....at least it is for us. It is also really, really, worth it!

 

mrs hmr:)

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