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nottieme

Attended our first Meet and Greet... Meh.

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Greetings good people! New couple here just starting out (our profile went up on SLS in December) we have had a few FFM threesome experiences over the past couple of years on vacations and decided we would try out the lifestyle on the home turf looking primarily at other couples. We do have another account here but found it was limiting our posting as it matched the SLS and other site names..

 

We attended our first meet and greet last week. While it was about what we expected in many ways we still were a bit disappointed. We expected the overall vibe to be a bit more sexually charged - instead it was similar to what you would find if you went to an all-ages new years eve party. My wife was dressed slutty (laced leather tight pants and six inch heels) and we walked into a land of t-shirts and jeans. Nothing wrong with that but not what the invitation was asking.

 

The music was.. well "2 Legit 2 Quit" was playing when we arrived and later people were trying to dance to "total Eclipse of the Heart" and about every third song or so was a country ballad. The noise level was perfect - loud enough to dance (had it been good music) but conversations could still be heard... I remember thinking about the ages of these songs and if they had done the same thing when these songs were popular in the 80's and early 90's they would have been playing "at the hop" and "run around sue"..

 

I got the feeling new people were fairly rare as most everyone seemed to already know each other - people were friendly to us. The people hosting it were great. When we arrived I went to get my wife a drink and in the (less than) 3 minutes I was gone she was asked by three different men for a kiss and one went in for one... All part of the territory and easy enough to handle and laugh off. There was a group of probably half the people there sitting around one of the tables that we didn't introduce ourselves which looking back I wish we had. We ended up in a conversation with an older couple that we were both enjoying so we didn't go break into that circle of people.

 

One complaint: We went mainly because we had three different couples that had emailed us that we were not sure about investing an evening because of their profile... Things like the husband not in the pictures, a bit off in some of there preferences or very hazy about what they are looking for, etc. All three were signed up to go so we thought here is a good way to get a better feel for them without investing an evening... One couple wanted to do drinks before hand which we could not do (it was a busy day).. Yet not one of these three showed up to the MnG... In fact I would say at best 40% of those who signed up attended and the event was only posted a few days before.

 

So.. Sadly in the end it appears these things really are not for meeting new people but instead ending up being socials for the same set of people month after month. Too bad, it would be really handy when talking to someone new on SLS/SDC/Kasidie/etc to do a quick meet at the next M&G, dance a couple of songs and see get a little feel for chemistry - it would save so much time... Anyway I don't think we will be attending it again soon - maybe six months down the line.

 

Are they all pretty much like this?

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In our experience no. But January is the slowest month for MnG in our opinion. People are broke from the holidays and the weather is grey and cruddy. We have been in the LS for over 10 years and the "worst" parties are always at the start of the year. Try again in the spring when the temps warm up and people get out of their winter funks.

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Wow, what a really crappy sounding M&G :lol:

 

Every social is a mixed bag. You never know what to expect until you attend one and once you find one you like, even it will be the same thing, over and over. Keep searching until you find one you like. We always avoid any social that allows single men, period. We have found that often the term (limited single guys) equates to we will take every dollar we can get even if it's 5 to 1. Sorry, a few bad apples spoil the bunch.

 

We tend to have the opposite music issue over here in the east. It's typically dubstep and about the time you get into it, they change it (no shit, like every 30 seconds, so damn annoying). Everyone likes to think they are fucking Skrillex.

 

Nothing pisses me off more than when men swoon in (in a predatory fashion) when you leave your wife alone. I don't care how cute they think they may be, it's a deal breaker. While there are no hard rules, courtesy dictates that you ALWAYS approach a couple when they are together. If you don't then your intentions are automatically suspect. Stupid fucking men...they wonder why they are single. "Yea baby, I'll give it to you goooooooood!" GMAFB!

 

There will always be the group that knows each other. We gravitate to people we know but the exception is that we use it to our advantage. You can attract more people as a group than as a couple sitting at a table alone. We went to a social last weekend and we were supposed to meet three couples (btw, we met all three) and before we knew it there were 12 of us because it's easier to drag people you want to meet into a group than to approach them individually. Getting to your point about none showing up, it happens. Sometimes, you might be surprised that they WERE there but they were just 10 years older and 20lb's heavier than their profile and they were afraid to talk to you because you were exactly what you said you were :D

 

Can I go back to ranting on the single guys? Good! We recently decided to try meeting a few single men again (after a two year hiatus) and so you have to open your profile up so they can see your pictures and just a confirmation for those of you that have your profiles locked down, the stupid ones are multiplying. Even some of the old ones haven't learned anything. We had a single guy reach out to us, his profile said 32, he joined in 2003. He had a single sentence under each section. Really? Does that work for you? I usually ignore them unless they piss me off and then I block them. Haha, have you seen those emails when you have been blocked. They crack me up.

 

Okay, I'm going to step away from the keyboard...I don't really know where this rant came from, lol.

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Getting to your point about none showing up, it happens. Sometimes, you might be surprised that they WERE there but they were just 10 years older and 20lb's heavier than their profile and they were afraid to talk to you because you were exactly what you said you were :D

 

 

This is very often the case.

 

We run a local meet and greet. We have a good mix of regulars and new people each month. It takes a lot of marketing to keep getting new people every month.

 

It's a mixed bag as far as how people dress. That doesn't really matter to us at all. I like to dress up so I do.

 

If the music wasn't blasting, that is a real accomplishment! Almost everywhere I've been takes requests, so I'd put in a couple requests and encourage your friends to do the same.

 

We allow single men at our meets. They rarely even show up. So it's not a problem in our group at all.

 

It is a great way to check out new couples. That is one of the main reasons we do it. I'm not sure if you actually told the couples you wanted to meet that you were going, or just saw them on the rsvp? If you plan to meet someone at the meet and greet that does give them incentive to show up, so maybe send a few emails to people you are looking forward to seeing before the next event.

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Thanks for the comments..

 

A couple of things: I really don't mind the single men, one of the three I mentioned above was actually part of a couple... and we did talk to two of the three couples about the meet, They could have been in the group we did not talk to but we did not recognize them if they were there.

 

We were going to another M&G this Friday in a "nearby" city (our city only has one regularly scheduled M&G) but while talking to my wife she said she would just prefer to skip the M&Gs for now and jump in with both feet and go to house parties or swinger clubs. I decided a club would be a better start so we are going to a swinger club in Portland this weekend. Super excited! but also also very nervous! We'll try a M&G again in a few months.

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We've been to some ok M&Gs, and some disappointing ones that had many of the same drawbacks you encountered. My best advice would be to just keep trying different ones until you find one you like. Clubs are the same way, they all are a little different, and even a different night of the week at the same club can have a different feel to it.

 

In a way, I think sometimes it is easy to unfairly judge M&Gs by having unrealistic expectations for them, especially if you like clubs. When you go to a M&G in a club frame of mind, you are probably going to be disappointed. I know we have probably done that, but you can't really compare the two. The M&G just has so many more limitations on what can happen there that it makes it difficult to satisfy someone in the club frame of mind. On the other hand, I think they are a great way to get out and start to get comfortable if you are new to swinging since they are less of a sensory overload than a club visit.

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Alot of it is hit and miss. Recently went to our first house party. Alot nice people but sometimes things just dont happen. We have been to a number of meet greet here in south florida at bars clubs and casinos and they are all over place. Best advice is to premeet people online and arrange to have drink there

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We've been to some ok M&Gs, and some disappointing ones that had many of the same drawbacks you encountered. My best advice would be to just keep trying different ones until you find one you like. Clubs are the same way, they all are a little different, and even a different night of the week at the same club can have a different feel to it.

 

We ended up going to club Sesso on Friday and Saturday nights and you are right it was completely different people and atmosphere both nights. Saturday was a much more lively group with about double the people of Friday night. We had a great time both nights though the single guys really were starting to be a problem Friday night - one took out a camera while my wife was undressed and down with another woman (the other woman's husband saw it and made him put it away) at one point towards the end of the night we were upstairs literately surrounded: one to the left, one to the right and one facing my wife - I was enjoying the beat, my back against the rail, my eyes closed, my wife bent over dancing and grinding me - and when I opened my eyes they were all there and all talking like the other two were not there.. It took a couple of minutes to get rid of them all and the last one apologized for him and the others being aggressive. Earlier in the night I went downstairs to get a drink for my wife (she was sitting on top of the bar upstairs) and came back up to find a little bald guy with his hand up her dress while she was saying "to touch! no touch!" and grabbing his hand and pushing it away... oh and while not totally against any policy.. I was sitting in the corner of a sofa getting oral when two guys came in - one sat next to me on the same sofa while another sat on the corner of the couch next to the one I was on (so the sofas formed the letter L) and one had his hands down his pants... threw off the mood just a tad :) Another couple came in and rescued us and we ended up having an awesome experience with them. We had zero issues Saturday night.

 

On the M&Gs - we are going to try again, we don't have any expectations except as a way to get a feel for peoples personalities and put faces/bodies to profiles.

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Leave the expectations at home is the best advice I have received when it comes to swinging. Its one of those deals where you have to make your own fun.. Look for the positves and you will get positive results. Look for the negative and you can manifest that. I know at those events there is alot of anxiety with the new couple.. Esp for the women. Stay near your partner and make some friends they can point you in the direction you want to go.

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MOST of our M&G's have been "meh" as have most of our online contacts. Thats ok, because that other 10% makes it worth it. Depending on how picky you are, what you are looking for, where you live, etc, you might strike out most of the time. I find the biggest mistake some newbies make is being so desperate to make it happen, they make sacrifices in who they are with.

 

Let what happens happen, enjoy the moment as you can, and don't worry about if you find anyone to play with at any one event.

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MOST of our M&G's have been "meh" as have most of our online contacts. Thats ok, because that other 10% makes it worth it. Depending on how picky you are, what you are looking for, where you live, etc, you might strike out most of the time. I find the biggest mistake some newbies make is being so desperate to make it happen, they make sacrifices in who they are with.

 

Let what happens happen, enjoy the moment as you can, and don't worry about if you find anyone to play with at any one event.

 

That is good advice. I'd still put us in the newbie boat. We've had multiple strikeouts BUT we didn't go in to this looking to play with just anyone. While still frustrating to some degree, we are learning more and more to just enjoy the ride. Meeting new people alone is fun.

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I just wanted to say "Thank you" for starting this very interesting post. I've learned a lot from reading it.

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So a quick update on this.. We did attend this months M&G (and in the month between visited one club twice as mentioned above and our first house party a week ago - all very good experiences). This time around was great. The music was still bad but not as bad as last time (I admit to scribbling out the requests for Olivia Newton John and Nickleback before the DJ saw it). The DJ was friendly and we were able to add a couple of our own requests which he had to track down as he was not familiar with the reggeaton genre. People were much more social this time around and we met a few new people made plans for later with two couples.. so score! :) Our intention was to go for about an hour mainly to say hi to those we may have unintentionally ignored the last time then go to a nearby club but we ended up staying until the end.

 

Looking forward to the next one.

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. . . Our intention was to go for about an hour mainly to say hi to those we may have unintentionally ignored the last time then go to a nearby club but we ended up staying until the end.

 

Looking forward to the next one.

Hooray!

 

Nickleback -- people either love them or hate them; no in-between. I love them.

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I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. However, whatever feels right to you is the right answer. If you prefer what you define as type 1 then stick to your preference. Don't ever feel you have to conform to someone else's way or desire.

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