Dick pics - a discussion

So Mrs. P and I were having a discussion about finding couples, and the question came up about dick pics in profiles. My immediate reaction is to think they are creepy and generally inappropriate, but we do occasionally get requests in the course of a conversation for one. We have of course been sent dick pics and one thing that occurred to us is that most of them have no reference for size (which I imagine is really the only reason you're sending one to begin with, to show size).

As an aside, I feel the same way about dick pics as I feel about pussy pics. Though there is some merit to a dick pic in that, much as we don't like to admit, size and girth do actually have some bearing on the conversation (on BOTH ends of the scale... Dudes, my wife is 4'9". If you're hung like a horse, that's actually a WORSE problem then having a small dick). As for pussy pics (and by that I mean close-up, lips spread, you know... porn type pussy pics, not full frontals or action pics), I'm relatively sure you have a pussy, if we're going to play I'll surely see your pussy, and I can almost guarantee that I will like it because, well, it's your pussy!

Anyway, I am beginning to think that there is some merit to putting a dick pic on our SLS profile and I wanted to see if some of you had an opinion on how to be classy about it and still accomplish the objective of giving reference to size. Also, where to put the picture. I'm figuring I'd put it in the private gallery separate from our other pictures, clearly labeled as a dick pic and open it upon specific request.

So, what say you?

There IS merit to having them. Yes size matters to some. It is also a way of showing "see nothing odd growing on them" too.

The main problem with most genital pictures, is the photography of them tends to make them look almost grotesque. You often need something more like a professional level photographer to get them looking "sexy" instead of "nasty". Camera's don't have a "cock and pussy" setting unfortunately.

Shadows, overexposure, stubble, the odd razor induced ingrown hair, all add to the "ewwww" factor.

In my decision as far as us including a dick pic or wanting to see one I'd say NO.

While I can see what you're saying as far as there being "size queens" out there who might find it important to know ahead of time, but quite frankly we would avoid those types of superficial couples anyway. We prefer to get to gauge others though means beyond what their privates look like ahead of time. No women I've been with has acted disappointed when playtime began (it's been the opposite in fact) and although Mrs. Fours has several times literally gotten the short end of the stick, she has still had fun with the guy as he had other talents it seems to compensate.

I can see there being more legitimacy to the opposite situation of some women for whatever reason, being adverse towards a larger Johnson, but if it's that much a concern maybe they should put that preference in their profile.

But for us, we feel that seeing genital pics or any nudity before hand ruins the surprise of a first-time play since it's more exciting unwrapping a present when you have no idea what's inside then if you saw it's contents ahead of time .

I don't think there is a way to create classy dick pics. As in, the concept itself prohibits it. I'd also suggest that having one in your profile, even out of public view, is likely to offend (or at least cause distaste in) far more people than it intrigues.

While there are women who are interested in the size, shape and appearance of your penis, it's a fairly small number.* Women who are interested in photos of your penis are an even smaller group. That leaves other men. For reasons a woman probably can't understand, many men are deeply intrigued by their own and other men's penises. A profile that talks about 7" and thick? Totally written by a man. An ad looking for a man with a big cock? Yeah, most likely written by a man. Profile photos of a dick? Either a single man or a married one who doesn't really get that women are - at best - unimpressed by photos of dicks. A request for a photo of your dick? Almost certainly a man (and, no, saying it's for her doesn't change the initiator of the request).

I actually nix almost all profiles that contain photos of genitalia. To get past my filters with a dick pic, you have to have crazy good writing skills and an even better explanation.

_________

* I will keep saying this probably forever: While size on either end of the spectrum matters, most women are far more interested in how it works than what it looks like.

Put a "dick pic" into your private picture area, by all means. But it would be far more dignified if in the same picture the head and torso to which the dick is attached is included.

We've been doing this five years and have never asked for or been asked for dick pics. If someone says they need 9 inches we tell them we're not for them.

Close up dick and pussy pictures are a total turn-off for both of us.

We see lots of people who take pics next to beer cans, bottled water, tv remotes, plates of eggs, dirty toilets... None of these are good ideas.

If someone has a dick pic as their opening photo, it's an automatic no for me. I feel that it displays bad judgement and poor self-conception.

Another note about this topic: (I just copied this from the advice section of another group I run)

Recently I read the book, What Do Women Want by Daniel Bergner. Here's a brief description: When it comes to sex, common wisdom holds that men roam while women crave closeness and commitment. But in this provocative, headline-making book, Daniel Bergner turns everything we thought we knew about women's arousal and desire inside out. ... Google Books

One thing I found particularly interesting was a study that was done where they looked at women's arousal using a vaginal plethysmograph (instrument that measures blood flow to the vagina) while they watched videos. The videos were men and women having sex, women having sex, men having sex, bonobo monkeys having sex, people masturbating and an Adonis-like muscular man with a non-erect penis.

Guess what was the least arousing to all the women? The gorgeous man with the flaccid cock!

Why is this in advice? Guys, if your profile pic is a floppy cock, that is less arousing to us girls than monkeys having sex.

Personally, I don't find the erect cock shots appealing as a main profile pic either.

I would recommend the book if you like to read about sexuality and science.

To be fair my wife HAS been disappointed in size before, but size wouldn't be a meeting criteria either. A big dick, just like big muscles, seems to have far more effect on the male mind, than most females. Most likely because they know that shit would hurt.

Why is this in advice? Guys, if your profile pic is a floppy cock, that is less arousing to us girls than monkeys having sex.

We do not have dick pics in our profile (or pussy pics for that matter) and no close-ups of any body parts really... There is one full body pic standing in a overly bubbled bath with the penis covered in bubbles which is a joke unless you believe in 12+ inch penises We usually just skip over the closeups to get to the full body and face shots - if they are ok we generally don't hold the close-ups against them, everybody has their thing. But if it's all they have then we skip them. Closeup genitalia (and especially penis) shots are never a positive for us.

One exception: There is a couple on swingular with a husband that is most likely professional photographer that did an amazing pussy pic. Explaining it won't do it justice. She is spreading the top of the lips but not internal (pulling away from the top only) so it is a v shape going in, she put some clear fluid on her lips and made them glisten and she has glitter of a similar sheen on her hands. If I had taken that picture I would have put it up as well and sold poster-sized copies Amazing pic... but that's the only one!

The only "dick pics" we show on our profile is the ones that my lady already has in her mouth, so you don't see much, if any, dick.. LOL

When we request pictures from a candidate we might meet, I specifically have to ask them to not send us a dick pic. If J sees that, auto-no. If I don't ask them not to send one, they always send one. Always a turn off. I think most guys know that no one wants to look at a dick, bit most guys seem to think that we would like to see THEIR dick which, after all, is SO special.

On a positive note, seeing a dick pic in an ad or public profile is a great screener for us. We don't want to meet that guy. Private profile, different story. One would go there expecting to see that. That's fine, it's not so much in the face.

Check out SpicyMatch - Swingers Social Network Dating Sites for Couples and Singles if you enjoy a huge variety of amateur photos and some done really well.

We have never had "dick" pictures on anything in all the years the Internet has been alive.

We also don't like seeing them or having them sent to us. When Laura receives one she writes back "You look like a dick."

Also close up pussy pictures. No need or desire for them but that is us. Some seem to feel the need to see it all ahead of time.

Do what works for you is all I can say. Your mileage may very.

We can't stand dick pictures and MD even goes as far as disliking a picture of a guy in his undies grabbing his package. We are sure there is one in there somewhere and grabbing it like your trying to rip it out of your undies doesn't make the picture any more flattering.

We bypass couples that have lots of graphic pictures because we are looking for people like us. People who want to hang out, have dinner and then go back for sex. Maybe we are much different but half of the reason we avoid conventions and shit like that is we are not into the porn associated side of swinging.

Sexy themes = cool

as the guest speaker = we'll pass, could care fucking less.

We care more about sexy, not trashy but if its your cup of tea then more power to you as we know we are definitely in the minority.

We have some in our personal gallery, but usually only open them to people who have seen the stuff already.

I am going to be the dissenter here… I enjoy seeing a picture of a man's cock, so I can know what I'm getting myself into. I find beauty in an erect penis, I find them artful and tantalizing. I also have a taste for what I do or don't like. If I'm going to have it in my mouth or other places, I want to look nice. I also have a concern for size, too big is painful, too small is not so much fun… So I usually do ask for a pic just to see what I'm getting.

However, like the others, I don't want to see it on your profile. If I want to see it, if I'm interested enough in you, I will ask for a picture.

Genital pics are a turn off for us. We want to know more about you than just your junk.

I do see a reason for including one good one on a profile. I say this because I do know several people who actually are turned off by huge cocks, myself included, and want to know about it before meeting. I'm being blunt here, lol.

Try for something quasi-artistic...could be use a tripod and a tier or remote and have her hand on it, or make it a couples photo where you can see your hard cock. Doesn't need to just be "hi, here is my cock." As for showing size...dear god, no bottles or remotes or cans please. Show enough of the rest of your body, or have your wifes hand on it to give people some idea of size. Add in being honest in a profile about the size if you are particularly small or large (in my mind over 8" or super girthy needs a disclaimer).

This is how I put it on our main profile:

"I cannot say this loudly enough. I hate cock pics. And pussy pics. If I see your genitals before I see your face, I am not going to want to play with you. If that's the way you like to present yourself, great, but we will not be compatible."

That pretty much sums it up.

When I advertised online for someone willing to fuck my wife I always posted a G-rated picture of both of us. There were many unsolicited dick pics. I wanted her to have a big dick experience and although I didn't expect it I'll admit that it was something of a plus in choosing potential candidates. The best were G-rated plus a dick pic from the waist down. The full body naked pics, face included, were very respected and helpful in eliminating unerotic potential playmates. If a relationship grew deeper we would trade R to X rated pics (from the neck down). It would progress from there to a face to face non sexual meeting in a public place like a bar or restaurant.

We're the opposite of most posters. I can never figure out where people come up with "They all look the same". HELL NO they don't. They're is a huge difference between a 4-incher curved like a cashew covered in 6 inches of hair and a well maintained straight 7 inches.

Over the years we have come across some really unappealing looking penises. My wife, with few exceptions does not like uncircumcised. She really doesn't like a bush.

Since the reason we are meeting is to utilize that equipment, we absolutely want to see it first. There have been a couple of times that we "left it to the imagination" and it was bad.

Its not so much size. Its overall appearance. Like I said, some are just downright unappealing. It sure makes a lousy encounter if you find that out when you're face is a foot from it.

With that said. That picture is an "accessory" pic. Profiles that have main pics or all the pics as nothing but genitals are not a turn on.

Look on any site and there's hundreds of poorly written single male profiles with nothing but a close up dick picture and inside all they write is "where are the REAL women?". "Nobody is serious"

Its amazing that men make it to middle age and somehow think all it takes to attract a woman is to flash your penis at them....scary

Over the years we have come across some really unappealing looking penises. My wife, with few exceptions does not like uncircumcised. She really doesn't like a bush.

 

Since the reason we are meeting is to utilize that equipment, we absolutely want to see it first.

I can respect that. I would then agree with some of the follow posters that one should make a special album so that they can show 'the goods' if requested because otherwise you just don't know what you are going to see...like the guy with his cock on a plate of eggs!