Hoping camming on Chaturbate is an indication of wanting to swing

My wife and I have been married for 8 yrs and have 2 kids. About 2 months ago I asked her if she would be interested in "webcam" chat sex. At first she said absolutely not in a million years, I'm not doing that. A couple of weeks later I signed us up for chaturbate, but had to ask her for her ID and a picture of herself holding her ID, she was very very reluctant, but obliged. We have been camming for almost 2 months now, and she absolutely LOVES it, she even watches the number of people coming into the room, and wants us to be in the "top cams" I still can't believe that she's doing this:) She has a VERY high paying corporate job, and has said NO WAY, NOT Happening to the idea of swinging. Although I think that by her taking the webcam step, hopefully she will want to take the step to swing. Please tell me what you all think!!!!

Thanks,

My mrs and I go on chaturbate sometimes although its been a while. It's kind of fun sometimes. She goes on it alone too.

The two, IMO are very different.

I am not saying you are, but hiding behind a computer screen is very different to physically getting to a club and being intimate with a) each other in front of people b) with other people in a club or c) bringing someone in to your own bed.

I would discuss it with her, if she has taken baby steps with the cam, she may be open to it... I would just be careful that you don't let your own desires push her to the point where she does it to make you happy and not because she wants to.

It is great fun, and I have met great people.. If you find a club out of town, you can say that you will go to have a look, and see what happens and the only promise you make is that if either one of you feels uncomfortable or unhappy with the situation, you leave

Just my thoughts! I am sure more experienced members will chime in

A couple of weeks later I signed us up for chaturbate, but had to ask her for her ID and a picture of herself holding her ID, she was very very reluctant, but obliged.

The part in bold scares me. I can understand how a site wants to make sure that everyone involved is a legal adult of consenting age but I certainly hope that you are able to black out everything in the ID except for the picture and age. Some people use their Social Security number on the IDs. It also has their address and other personal information. Sending that sort of picture to a site that can use it nefariously (or sell it to someone who can) gives me the willies. I hope I'm just being paranoid though.

As for whether it's a step to swinging. It could be. I could not be. As Isobel said, the two are very different. There are a lot of couples/people that just do camming but won't do any other activity that goes onto swinging. If she's saying no, listen to her. Let her be in charge of the next move, if there is one.

About 2 months ago I asked her if she would be interested in "webcam" chat sex. At first she said absolutely not in a million years, I'm not doing that. A couple of weeks later I signed us up for chaturbate...

I know she's excited now about it be honestly, this seemed very underhanded, in my opinion. She said no but you went ahead and signed up for it. She's the half of your team that is hesitant and saying no. Let her choose the pace. If it's a no go, then it's a no go. If you keep pushing her, she might feel "nagged" or even become resentful that you aren't listening.

Perhaps you two should slow down and have a lot of conversations, honest, loving, non-pressuring, and non-judgmental ones before going any further.

and has said NO WAY, NOT Happening to the idea of swinging. Although I think that by her taking the webcam step, hopefully she will want to take the step to swing. Please tell me what you all think!!!!

Thanks,

Hell I think she is a good candidate for swinging. My wife would respond just like that and she is a swinger. Her first reaction to everything is no.. no no no no no no and more no. But what she really means is.. That is a freaking hot Idea let me think about it and we will do it later.

I just have to be with her when she comes around to the idea of doing new things.. dont get me wrong. I just suggest a idea.. she rejects it. she thinks it over, comes back to me and says hell yeah I want to do that.. its just her nature to act that way.

I agree with 81lizard69. She didn't want to do the wedbcam but then found it intoxication. I don't think that you need to do anything but enjoy the webcam'ing with her and keep her aware that you're good with going further if she is. My guess is that there'll be another couple that you both feel comfortable with who will take her to the next level, if she's willing to go.

But I do wonder about this particular webcam site. If anyone from her work connected her to this, even if they're trustworthy, your wife is going to panic and go so deep back into her protective shell that she may never even go out in public again, much less swing.

thank you, we're going to continue camming, and I feel eventually she will want to give it a try!!!! My fantasy is to see her with another women!!

I would say you MAY (underline MAY) be on a path to swinging. For us, the first step on our road to swinging was when we decided to engage in more playful sexual activities (e.g. porn together, a few strip clubs). This was nothing like swinging, but it opened our eyes to sexual possibilities and it allowed us to see that expanding our sexual horizons could be fun and non threatening. For us, it lead us to swinging. But this was just us. You have to make really sure that this is where your wife wants to go. I would suggest she has to get there by her on accord (not coerced). If you push too hard, it will be a disaster, but since she is becoming a bit more experimental, you may find you do not have to push at all.

The more and more we get on Chaturbate, the more comfortable she becomes...we were on recently, and she kept asking the room to help get us to the "top cam", and now she even holds the webcam under us so they can see me going in and out of her. I really really want to take her to swinger club, but I'm afraid she'll say no way we're not going there, how would you guys suggest I bring that up? Everything I've read, couples can have sex in the club, she'd probably enjoy doing that

I'd bring it up by bringing it up. Honey, I see how much you enjoy performing on cam. How would you feel about doing the same thing at a swing club?

Can't people record what you do on that webcam and spread it around the internet? This would be my worry. Otherwise I would love to try that with my wife!

Can't people record what you do on that webcam and spread it around the internet? This would be my worry. Otherwise I would love to try that with my wife!

Mask, problem mostly solved.

bump

... has said NO WAY, NOT Happening to the idea of swinging. Although I think that by her taking the webcam step, hopefully she will want to take the step to swing. Please tell me what you all think!!!!

I think she said "no way, not happening." I take that to mean "no way, not happening."

A big part of swinging is open, honest communication... and big part of open, honest communication is listening to what your partner tells you and believing that her words mean what the say. In this case, what she is telling you is that she is comfortable with the webcaming but isn't interested in swinging. Period. End of line.

We are new to the lifestyle, but started out in a similar way. We would go on AFF and put on a show. She loved reading comments, and wanted to be on the most viewed cams. It excited her very much.

The good thing is she is open to being sexy. Maybe swinging isn't the next step. Maybe she would like to take her exhibitionism to the next level, and have sex in front of others, while watching others have sex. A swing/sex club can be a good place to try this, or take a sexy vacation to Hedo, Desire, Sea Mountain, etc., where you are in a sexually charged environment.

We have been around the lifestyle for a few years now, but have taken it very slow. For us, it is fun to be around good people who like to be sexy.

I think she said "no way, not happening." I take that to mean "no way, not happening."

 

A big part of swinging is open, honest communication... and big part of open, honest communication is listening to what your partner tells you and believing that her words mean what the say. In this case, what she is telling you is that she is comfortable with the webcaming but isn't interested in swinging. Period. End of line.

So true!

Depending on the person no means no, or convince me, or maybe, or.. well you get the gist.

I've joked with my wife that if I took the first no from her as a final no, we would have had a lot less fun in life.

For my wife.

Yes = Yes

Maybe = Yes but I'm giving myself an out if circumstances change

No = Maybe

No (in a way I can't describe but I know) = no

Only the OP really should (I hope) know his wife and her desires/personality.

Depending on the person no means no, or convince me, or maybe, or.. well you get the gist.

 

I've joked with my wife that if I took the first no from her as a final no, we would have had a lot less fun in life.

 

For my wife.

 

Yes = Yes

Maybe = Yes but I'm giving myself an out if circumstances change

No = Maybe

No (in a way I can't describe but I know) = no

 

Only the OP really should (I hope) know his wife and her desires/personality.

I have to agree with this above because it happens in our bedroom; although I think only Dave could get away from this.

If I didn't know the person, I'd have to take "no" as a definite no and hope they'd do so in kind.

Depending on the person no means no, or convince me, or maybe, or.. well you get the gist.

 

I've joked with my wife that if I took the first no from her as a final no, we would have had a lot less fun in life.

 

For my wife.

 

Yes = Yes

Maybe = Yes but I'm giving myself an out if circumstances change

No = Maybe

No (in a way I can't describe but I know) = no

 

Only the OP really should (I hope) know his wife and her desires/personality.

Very true

We have an extra one in our household that goes in the middle of your list - "hmmm, I don't know" = more times than not she will end up at yes but won't say it right then.

She's gotten so good at reading me that she can put my response into one of those categories before I even open my mouth and have actually given the response.

My wife and I have been married for 8 yrs and have 2 kids. About 2 months ago I asked her if she would be interested in "webcam" chat sex. At first she said absolutely not in a million years, I'm not doing that. A couple of weeks later I signed us up for chaturbate, but had to ask her for her ID and a picture of herself holding her ID, she was very very reluctant, but obliged. We have been camming for almost 2 months now, and she absolutely LOVES it, she even watches the number of people coming into the room, and wants us to be in the "top cams" I still can't believe that she's doing this:) She has a VERY high paying corporate job, and has said NO WAY, NOT Happening to the idea of swinging. Although I think that by her taking the webcam step, hopefully she will want to take the step to swing. Please tell me what you all think!!!!

Thanks,

Not sure what it means as far as the potential to lead to swinging. Two entirely different activities.

However, she has a lot more risk of being unpleasantly exposed at her job by participating in "chaturbate" than she would swinging privately. Privacy and electronic communications are mutually exclusive.

Depending on the person no means no, or convince me, or maybe, or.. well you get the gist.

 

I've joked with my wife that if I took the first no from her as a final no, we would have had a lot less fun in life.

 

For my wife.

 

Yes = Yes

Maybe = Yes but I'm giving myself an out if circumstances change

No = Maybe

No (in a way I can't describe but I know) = no

 

Only the OP really should (I hope) know his wife and her desires/personality.

This is pretty good but sometimes what happens with a "No" is that it could have been a "shocked" no but once the idea is given time to sink in and possibly developed into "what if" territory, then it changes into a maybe.

This is pretty good but sometimes what happens with a "No" is that it could have been a "shocked" no but once the idea is given time to sink in and possibly developed into "what if" territory, then it changes into a maybe.

Agree, if someone never really thought of swinging, "no" as a first reaction is understandable.

Funny thing about my wife though is I never got a "no" for swinging, its always been "maybe" or "yes", but we moved to the thought rather gradually, it wasn't a shot out of the blue.

If being exposed is the fear throw that out the window. Just Google your chaturbate name and see what happens. We were active on that site for a year or so and my wife was really into it too. (She would can more without me..lol)

I've read the agreements with a fine tooth comb and nothing says anywhere what really happens.

I can go on almost any popular porn site and find recordings of her/our shows.

Just keep that in mind. You may think when you turn the can off that's it. But whatever you do on chaturbate will be on the internet forever

If you want your wife to cam but you don't want it everywhere, just be sure to wear a mask or hide your face. You will get less views but it will be of less value to porn sites