Seeing her with another man?

Hi all,

So the main reason I started coming here is because I've been having a lot of thoughts about what it would be like to see my girlfriend with another guy. My girlfriend and I are both 23 (she's a knockout) and have been dating over 15 months. Though I've been having these thoughts I just can't figure out why and what the actually experience would be like. So what's it like? Best parts about it? And what about it is the real turn on for you?

John

Best porn you'll ever see. Live and in 3d right beside you. No fake moaning or screaming it's the realllllll thing.

Dowside is sometimes the jealousy of watching her with someone else will rip your nuts out!

The first time I saw my wife with another guy was when she was only 22 and I was 27. We'd been married about three years. It was a couple we'd known for several years and me and the guy's wife knew that my wife and her husband had the hots for each other. We'd watched them dancing together many times. And, fyi, we were both OK with their infatuations.

I'm just not the jealous type and never have been so that was never an issue. And, when I saw them making love it was simply the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I think his wife felt the same way because we just sat and watched them. In fact, I think that his wife and I only had sex too so that they didn't feel like they had done something bad!

I have this same fantasy and have for several years now. My wife and I are getting to the point where I think we may actually try it if we find a cool guy. We went to a strip club in Vegas last year and I bought my wife a private lapdance from a male stripper. The place had female dancers downstairs and male upstairs.

Anyway I went into the private booth with them, of course, and the stripper was super respectful to me asking if it was okay before he did anything to her! Well it wasn't long before his hand was down her pants, inside her panties and he was feeling up her pussy while he had her breasts out and was kissing her breasts and neck! I was also playing with her at the same time as him, so I was very much a part of all of this and that made her feel more comfortable with the situation. She was so wet from him, it turned me on so much, I loved it! I wasn't even jealous for some reason! And I have I used to get jealous if a guy was even checking my girl out in the past. I asked her if she wanted to touch him, she said yes, and he let her play with his hard dick! She was giving him a hand job while he was feeling her pussy and kissing her breasts!

I would say if you are not sure, that is a good way to test the waters since they didn't have sex and it was a pretty controlled situation for me.

One word of advice here. We go to an off premises club and often there is a type of "mosh pit" attitude. Everyone in close quarters, touching and probing whoever is dancing next to them. The problem with that, and the scene you described is "TRANSMISSION" of whatever was in the pants of the last customer he did that with. Std's and/or infections can easily be spread that way, and the problem in the club is, YOU DON'T KNOW WHO/WHERE you caught something from. Not trying to rain on any parades, we love erotic kink as much as the next couple, but having something "handed to you" while groping, is a good possibility. Play Carefully.

Thanks for the advice! It's cool to hear how other guys here have experienced seeing their SO with someone else. Makes me feel less worried about why I feel this way. For those who do feel a bit jealousy, does it go away? Should I still go for the experience even if I think I might get jealous?

One word of advice here. We go to an off premises club and often there is a type of "mosh pit" attitude. Everyone in close quarters, touching and probing whoever is dancing next to them. The problem with that, and the scene you described is "TRANSMISSION" of whatever was in the pants of the last customer he did that with. Std's and/or infections can easily be spread that way, and the problem in the club is, YOU DON'T KNOW WHO/WHERE you caught something from. Not trying to rain on any parades, we love erotic kink as much as the next couple, but having something "handed to you" while groping, is a good possibility. Play Carefully.

Valid point! This is why my wife asked him just to play with her clit, not inside, not that that will prevent everything but maybe just a little bit less risky for bad shit to be transmitted. Also we talked that when we do that again we will ask the guy to wash his hands with soap before the dance! That might help.

Vegas, huh? My wife has been wanting to go to Vegas to see all of the Cirque Du Soliel shows there. But the show you mention is the one I want to go to! Well, maybe the one Cirque Du Soliel show..., Zumanity.

We'd heard from a couple that we cybered with, years ago, that there was a club in Kansas City that had male and female dancers. Anyone know of any in the SouthEast?

Vegas, huh? My wife has been wanting to go to Vegas to see all of the Cirque Du Soliel shows there. But the show you mention is the one I want to go to! Well, maybe the one Cirque Du Soliel show..., Zumanity.

 

We'd heard from a couple that we cybered with, years ago, that there was a club in Kansas City that had male and female dancers. Anyone know of any in the SouthEast?

Yeah you should check it out if you go to Vegas for sure. The name of the club we went to was Olympic Gardens. Quite a show for sure! We had such intense great sex after that and for the next several weeks because of that experience! We also got a 1/2hr private dance from a female downstairs after the male, that was intense also, but to be honest we both thought getting the guy to dance for her and me playing with her at the same time was much more of a turn on! It was cool, because my wife was the center of attention and me and the other guy were just trying to make her feel so good! It was awesome! I just wish she was able to cum and also wish she made him cum! Maybe next time!

Hi all,

 

So the main reason I started coming here is because I've been having a lot of thoughts about what it would be like to see my girlfriend with another guy. My girlfriend and I are both 23 (she's a knockout) and have been dating over 15 months. Though I've been having these thoughts I just can't figure out why and what the actually experience would be like. So what's it like? Best parts about it? And what about it is the real turn on for you?

 

John

Another thing you might want to consider, is a couples massage where she gets a guy to massage her. This thought used to piss me off and make me jealous in the past, but now I make sure she gets a guy when we go for a couples massage! It turns me on now to know this other guy is touching my wife's naked body!

I think jealousy is normal anytime somebody else, especially another guy, is paying attention to your wife or girlfriend. For me, I just realized one day that what is the point in getting pissed off? I mean, let's face it, everybody man or woman, checks out other people even when they are in a committed relationship...and other guys/girls will be checking out the person your with....that's just the way it's always going to be! I think it is completely natural. So the way I see it is you have 2 choices, you can get pissed off about it and walk around in a defensive, protective manner all of the time, OR you can choose to turn that negative energy into a positive energy by thinking of it as a turn on and realizing how good it is making your girl feel! For me this was the turning point...though I am still working on it and we have not invited another man to sleep with my wife yet either.

The way I see jealousy is, you are afraid of losing something important to you, but if you and your girl have really good communication and trust that you will always be together no matter what, then I think you can free yourselves up to allowing some experiences with other people. I think both people in the relationship need to communicate EVERYTHING they are feeling before, during, and after any experience and not hold back what you are feeling no matter how irrational it may sound. Both people in the relationship need to respect each other and back off or stop at any time if one or the other starts to feel uncomfortable. I think you guys need to make that arrangement before you try anything. You can make the choice in your mind that when other guys hit on, flirt, even possibly have sex with your girl, it is a sexy, erotic thing! It is a conscious choice, like when you wake up in the morning you can choose to think life sucks and be pissed off all day or you can choose to say I am going to have a good day no matter what! Your choice in how you view things directly affects your emotions I believe. I think the jealousy will still be there somewhat, but you turn that thought into eroticism and not anger.

Not sure if that makes sense to you, this is just my thoughts on it.

all good points! i guess im not quite sure exactly how to go about it when i'm not even 100% positive i want to go through with anything to begin with lol. is there anyway to kinda test the waters without really doing something extreme?

all good points! i guess im not quite sure exactly how to go about it when i'm not even 100% positive i want to go through with anything to begin with lol. is there anyway to kinda test the waters without really doing something extreme?

Softswap is a great way to start slow and easy. You'll find some posts here about it and if you google it you should be able to find a lot more info. It can allow you to start real slow and easy and if feelings erupt you haven't done all that much to forgive or forget.

all good points! i guess im not quite sure exactly how to go about it when i'm not even 100% positive i want to go through with anything to begin with lol. is there anyway to kinda test the waters without really doing something extreme?

I completely understand what you are going through! I struggled with the same thoughts for awhile trying to figure out how to test the waters before doing anything too extreme!

For us, so far, what has worked and I don't think is too extreme is the couples massage where I let her get a guy to massage her. This way it is very controlled and professional, but at the same time another man is still touching your naked girlfriend in a somewhat intimate way!

Also maybe allowing her to lightly flirt with some guys when you are out?

And I still think the buying her a dance from a male stripper like I did for my wife in Vegas might be good also, you don't have to let it go as far as we did... you can just get her a regular table dance in the public part of the strip club with the male stripper, instead of doing the private dance.

I think it's important for you to remember that you're TWO people, and each of you has desires that are independent of the other. I don't think of things in the context of "allowing" my wife to flirt. She's her own person, we've talked and we've decided to enter and continue in the LS. I'm not "allowing" her to do anything; we're both doing what we've mutually agreed won't cause problems for us.

Also, I think it's important to understand that agreeing that "you'll always be together no matter what" is a bit on the naive side. Communicate with your partner, talk and discuss, agree and disagree and talk some more. However, in my opinion, you must disabuse yourself of the notion that you are ever in control of the "together no matter what" scenario. Neither is your partner. Will swinging cause your partnership to fail or end? Will she run off with someone else? Probably not, especially if the communication is there. However, don't kid yourself into thinking that the possibility does not exist. Some might say that if you can't deal with the possibility that your partner will decide to move on due to something lifestyle related, you should not consider entering the lifestyle. Others may not be so harsh. I'm not sure what I believe, but I DO know that there is a reason a lot of marriage vows now include "for as long as love lasts" rather than "as long as you both shall live". We can only control how we react to things, not how our partners react. We can only work with and learn from our motivations and emotions; we do not hold sway over the emotions and decisions of others, even if we like to think that we do.

I'm not trying to be a downer here; we love the lifestyle. Just making sure we all have a clear head going in.

Cheers,

Tiger

I think it's important for you to remember that you're TWO people, and each of you has desires that are independent of the other. I don't think of things in the context of "allowing" my wife to flirt. She's her own person, we've talked and we've decided to enter and continue in the LS. I'm not "allowing" her to do anything; we're both doing what we've mutually agreed won't cause problems for us.

 

Also, I think it's important to understand that agreeing that "you'll always be together no matter what" is a bit on the naive side. Communicate with your partner, talk and discuss, agree and disagree and talk some more. However, in my opinion, you must disabuse yourself of the notion that you are ever in control of the "together no matter what" scenario. Neither is your partner. Will swinging cause your partnership to fail or end? Will she run off with someone else? Probably not, especially if the communication is there. However, don't kid yourself into thinking that the possibility does not exist. Some might say that if you can't deal with the possibility that your partner will decide to move on due to something lifestyle related, you should not consider entering the lifestyle. Others may not be so harsh. I'm not sure what I believe, but I DO know that there is a reason a lot of marriage vows now include "for as long as love lasts" rather than "as long as you both shall live". We can only control how we react to things, not how our partners react. We can only work with and learn from our motivations and emotions; we do not hold sway over the emotions and decisions of others, even if we like to think that we do.

 

I'm not trying to be a downer here; we love the lifestyle. Just making sure we all have a clear head going in.

 

Cheers,

 

Tiger

Sorry I used the word "allow", of course it's a 2 person decision, 50/50, equal contributors to whatever happens! Just that in "normal vanilla relationships" most spouses would not be happy if their significant other was flirting with another person. Most vanilla relationships would not "allow", without a huge fight, their significant other to outright flirt with other people, especially right in front of them, that's all I was getting at.

Also, thinking that "you'll always be together no matter what" may indeed be naive, but then that makes everybody that has ever married someone in the history of mankind naive...because that is the vow you take when you marry another person! I don't know how other people look at marriage, but my wife and I take the vows seriously and went into marriage believing, 100%, that we are together for life! That is how my parents are. Happily married for 47 years! 1st marriage! That is the way it should be I think.

And, lastly, of course, it goes without saying, that if you and your partner are inviting another person into your bedroom, you are playing with fire! That is why you need to proceed cautiously and talk about how you both feel at all times! But if you are both open and honest with each other and how you feel, do not hold anything back, and you both RESPECT each others feelings...I think you will be okay going forward with it at the pace you are both comfortable with!

I think you go it right, j.raymond10, you should "test the waters" first and proceed at a pace that you both agree to, at all times.

 

So what's it like? Best parts about it? And what about it is the real turn on for you?

 

Seeing another man having sex with the woman you love is hard to describe. The reasons why are very complicated and also hard to explain. Best parts about it? And what about it is the real turn on for you? Those two questions are the same just asked in a different way. Here are my thoughts in a random order.

(1) When she is totally naked in front of him.

(2) I like to leave her panties on for him to remove. It's watching her lifting her hips up to let him slide them down her legs that lets me know she is ready and more than willing to have sex with him.

(3) the initial penetration.

(4) watching him fucking her and her reaction to it.

(5) her having an orgasm with him

(6) him cumming in her

(7) watching them kissing very passionately

(8) her sucking his cock and swallowing his cum

(9) knowing that they had just had orgasms together, watching them catching their breath and calming down, and then begin to caress and kiss each other until it ends up being round 2

(10) watching her sucking his cock and swallowing his cum.

(11) when she is laying on her back and opens her legs exposing her pussy to him, waiting as he gets undressed

E: all the above

All of above for sure, great observations.

wow i really love the idea of all of those things happening! I guess now i'm just not sure if I only love the idea of it or if i would really love actually seeing it all go down. are there any things that i can do to kinda test the waters a bit slowly? also were there any things that were particularly difficult to see at first but ended up being the biggest turn ons?

Only you can answer that. Whether you love the "idea" or would really love actually "seeing" it all go down, only you can decide which. BUT, with that said, if you proceed, be sure that YOU are able to leave it behind without holding it against her.

If she agrees to go along with it, and you choke, you can only cause problems by holding it against her, or let your emotions get the best of you. If it's not as fun, or as erotic as you imagine, then you need to be able to just drop it, no regrets, no grudges... and only YOU can answer how you'll feel.

I don't think there's a way of "testing the waters" without actually getting wet (so to speak).

I can only speak for us, no one else, but at first it's natural to get a bit jealous, after all it's your lady, but if you can keep you feelings in check, it can certainly become a big turn on.. just be willing to admit you made a mistake if you find out that you can't handle it.. don't hold it against her.

I had the same concerns the first time, then had to take some time to myself to sort through the feelings... hurt? jealous? possessive? That's ok to feel, but work through it yourself, don't blame or begrudge anyone involved, including the playmate.

We now enjoy it as a regular part of our sexual lives and always look forward to more, which was a surprise to me.. being the Aries, Cave man, that I am. A few years ago I would not have been able to handle it, now I love it.. Good luck in your voyages.

I'll jump in here with my $0.02 worth. I love porno (all genre). Even more, I love watching people (all genders) having sex live. Even more than that, I love watching the woman of my life - my soul mate - in the throes of sex. To see and hear her (she's a screamer) in passion is the greatest thing I can imagine. Why wouldn't I want to see the person that means so much to me enjoy all the fantastic physical pleasure that she can. Jealousy? I could write a lot on what that is and what that does but suffice to say it has no place in this conversation because I know she loves me and will never leave me for any other man or a woman.

Good luck to you in your journey of pleasure.

I think that NakedInSeatle hit on something. Jealousy is just being insecure. I think it comes when you see your special someone enjoying someone else and you wonder if they are going to want that person more than you. I can remember our first time and how I knew that my wife found the other husband appealing sexually but, I also knew she really didn't care for some things about him socially. So I knew she was just using him for sexual pleasure. And, hey, she was one hot young thing so I knew he didn't mind either!

Jealousy is a blanket term we use for many things: fear (mainly), envy, resentment. Most jealousy stems from fear of loss or fear of being left out. When you see your wife looking at another man with sexual lust, you may feel that "If she loves me and wants ME, why does she seem to want HIM so much" feeling. You fear that her lust for him diminishes her desire for you. You feel a strong "Im' not Good Enough" feeling, otherwise why would she be interested in him? When you see her in his arms, wrapping her legs around him with pleasure as he penetrates her vagina for the first time, you feel the fear of being left out, of being unable to share what they have together. Many newbies are hot to see this happen for the first time, and then, when their SO actually goes through with what they'd been planning, actually feel "How could she actually do this to me? If she loved me, she shouldn't have been able to go thru with it".

At the same time, your "Not Good Enough" interpretation continues, and you fear that she'll find sex with him more satisfying and erotic than sex with you. You fear that you will lose her to him because she is so aroused by him. One thing to consider when you feel these things (and after talking to a lot of people I can say that these feelings are fairly common when entering the lifestyle), is that your mind is making up stories that you have the ability to disbelieve. It's YOUR interpretation of what she's feeling that scares you. It's YOUR interpretation of the importance of the encounter, and how she's feeling inside, that creates the envy, the fear and ultimately the jealousy. Are you being left out? In a physical sense, yes you are. The other man and your SO are connected physically, and in a very passionate and intimate way. You can't, physically, be part of that connection. However, in another sense you are connected with your SO on a higher plane. You are giving her the opportunity to experience pleasure in a way that would never be possible without your deep love and trust. Your desire to see her enjoyment implies a generosity that few afford their husbands or wives. COULD she leave you for another man she finds more exciting? Absolutely. Anyone who enters the LS should be cognizant of this risk. There IS a non-zero chance that your SO might end up finding she's a better match for a playmate than she is for you, no matter how many "together forevers" you have exchanged. Is this a likely outcome? No, not really.

The upshot of this long-winded discussion is this: Many of the same things that trigger our fear (and thus our jealousy) are exactly the thrilling, relationship-death-defying things that we find so exhilarating to see. I believe that the intensity of the fear and its impact on our minds powers the intense erotic nature of seeing another man penetrating your SO, seeing them BOTH in the throes of orgasm, and seeing her accept his semen. It's our interpretation of our SO's involvement in these encounters that allow us to transmute the fear into excitement, or use it to power a jealous rage.

Tiger

AngelandTiger, very well put I think! Like you say, I think the very thing that makes it scary and risky to your relationship, i.e. feelings of jealousy, envy, are the same things that make it exciting. I think that it would not be as exciting if you were sharing someone you didn't love or find attractive.

AngelandTiger (Tiger) explained it well. Jealousy is only natural when you are are watching the woman you love and have committed your life to enjoying having sex with someone else. We expect her to enjoy it don't we? Relax and let the jealousy feeling flow through your body like a cool breeze. It's not the jealous feeling. It's how you handle it that matters. Most women are disappointed, some get angry, if someone flirts with them and their husband doesn't care. Only the woman knows how she feels when she is having incredible sex with someone else. We can only hope that she has a strong enough bond with us. There is always doubt. Accepting it is not weakness.

wow thanks so much for all the feedback so far. it definitely looks like there needs to be a lot of trust to really be successful in this lifestyle. i guess one of the things i keep picturing and am not sure i could handle is watching my girlfriend actually make another man cum. did anyone else have these fears/thoughts when they contemplated getting started?

wow thanks so much for all the feedback so far. it definitely looks like there needs to be a lot of trust to really be successful in this lifestyle. i guess one of the things i keep picturing and am not sure i could handle is watching my girlfriend actually make another man cum. did anyone else have these fears/thoughts when they contemplated getting started?

It's possible that quite a few men might be uneasy at the thought of their SO making another man cum, but it seems to me the more common problem is the man's unexpected response to the visual of his wife or SO cumming repeatedly while being penetrated by another man. J.Raymond, when you visualize both in your mind, visualize it profoundly as if it were ACTUALLY happening, which do you see as more disquieting? The sound and sight of a man so turned on by fucking your GF that he orgasms, or your GF being driven to orgasm after orgasm while being taken by another man?

Tiger

My first time here for some time but I would add that for me personally I had no issue with my SO having sex with another guy, hell I loved it. Oddly enough the thing that really affected me was her kissing him.

I know that may sound weird but for me and my SO the kissing was the most erotic thing, by the time we got around to swinging the whole sex thing was mainly anti-climatic.

wow i really love the idea of all of those things happening! I guess now i'm just not sure if I only love the idea of it or if i would really love actually seeing it all go down. are there any things that i can do to kinda test the waters a bit slowly?

IMO, no. It's the kind of thing you dive into, but with agreement in advance that it might not ever happen again. You might like it, hate it, or be indifferent to it. There's only one way to find out.

IMO, no. It's the kind of thing you dive into, but with agreement in advance that it might not ever happen again. You might like it, hate it, or be indifferent to it. There's only one way to find out.

We have come to this conclusion also. To know for sure, I think there is only one way, but the agreement beforehand is important and the willingness to put it behind you and not hold it against the other person are very important if you decide it is not for either one of you or both.

Brother, I'm going to speak to you from one limited experience (and it was just about a week ago), so just know that all of the above advice is far more valuable and insightful than mine.

Last week we went camping with a buddy of mine. He's been having a rough go at things in life lately and his sex life is about as exciting as an old copy of Reader's Digest (does that damn thing even still exist or did I just date myself?) Well, we were having some drinks around the campfire and relaxing when the conversation suddenly turned a little kinky. My wife is a hell of a woman and a team player all around -- I just didn't know how much until that night! We often make jokes with my buddy, and she even harmlessly flirts with him from time to time.

She once mentioned to me that was curious what his reaction would be if she flashed him her breasts. My only thought was, "I dunno, let's see!" I've never really been the jealous type, but I've also never been in such a position before either. Well, later that day she was rubbing the damn things across his face. And while I could never predict how I might feel about something like that, I'm pretty sure I would have never guessed I would be as turned on as I was!

So, back at the campfire now,, he gets up and heads off to get something from his truck and she turns to me with an evil little grin and says, "I'm about to fuck his whole world up." She then proceeded to take off all of her clothes. And when he returned, he didn't notice at first, just sat down and started talking. Well, he looked up and stopped speaking in mid-sentence, jaw resting on the ground, and staring in disbelief. A little more conversation and a few more drinks and there he was going down on her. I couldn't believe my eyes (or the new stirring I was suddenly feeling below the belt.) A few minutes later and there she was returning the favor. A few minutes after that and she was bouncing back and forth between us! I don't know about him, but she sure rocked my damn world!

That turned in to three entire days of playing!

(And me thinks I might have gotten hooked on something here.)

If I had to think about it before, I would have guessed that the sight of my wife with some other man would have set me on a fucking warpath -- to understate it the best that I can. Who would've known that it turned out to be something I suddenly couldn't get enough of? The key here for me was that I was able to play as well, though, I thinking about it now I guess I could just watch and probably be pretty happy about it. And I'm starting to suspect she might get just as excited watching me play with another woman...

But I believe that these things are possible only because of where we are in our relationship. We have had many conversations about our relationship and about monogamy, etc., and we both agree that it's where our heart is at that matters, not much else. It took us a long time to get to a point in our relationship where we could even talk of such things, and it was probably a year after that first conversation before anything ever happened (the infamous camping trip, woo-hoo!)

This was never a fantasy of mine, I always opted to dream about another woman joining us. But things turned out different this first time, and I was so okay with that. So, I don't think there is any real predicting of anything until you guys are actually experiencing something hands-on, so to speak.

Like most others have said, start slow and see what happens... Just remember, if you find real life as enjoyable as fantasy, then you two will always have something else to share. And if it turns out that you don't (or she doesn't) like the experience, shut it down and go home together. There's lots of other stuff you can try with just each other.

-

(We newbies should band together and make our own book. We can call it the Codex Newbus.)

Methos, Wow! Great story, thanks for sharing that! Super hot! Great advice and perspective from a fellow newbie!

You dont really know how you will feel or react. Some people its a horrible experience that they never get over. Others its awesome. If you are confident in your relationship, and keep boundaries in check, it can be a blast.

I get VERY jealous. The guy is hotter. Has a bigger dick. Better technique. She seems REALLY into him......All of that give me very jealous feelings.

However. THATS the turn on for me. Its those very feelings that make your heart sink and your whole body get warm, like if she confessed she cheated.

Those feelings are what gets me going.

The sense of wrong, and bad, is so intense.

The thing is, for me those feelings are an intense sexual high. In the end I know its just play and there are no bad feelings attached.

Others get that shock and then the insecurity sets in and its not nearly as much fun as they thought it would be.

You dont really know how you will feel or react...

 

Others get that shock and then the insecurity sets in and its not nearly as much fun as they thought it would be.

True words, my friend. If I had to guess, I would certainly have guessed on experiencing the polar opposite of the reaction that I did.

-

John, you started this thread, so I hope you come back and tell everyone how things worked out and why. I don't mean to pry, but me and my wife have learned so much here (all from the stories and advice of others) and no matter what you and her decide, your words might help someone else down the road that comes here with the very same question in mind. I hope things work out for the best.

Well so far I still have been trying to work up the courage to bring it up to her. I guess it's taking a little longer than I thought it would but I am absolutely loving all the advice guys!

You dont really know how you will feel or react. Some people its a horrible experience that they never get over. Others its awesome. If you are confident in your relationship, and keep boundaries in check, it can be a blast.

 

I get VERY jealous. The guy is hotter. Has a bigger dick. Better technique. She seems REALLY into him......All of that give me very jealous feelings.

 

However. THATS the turn on for me. Its those very feelings that make your heart sink and your whole body get warm, like if she confessed she cheated.

Those feelings are what gets me going.

 

The sense of wrong, and bad, is so intense.

 

The thing is, for me those feelings are an intense sexual high. In the end I know its just play and there are no bad feelings attached.

This is how I feel also! Very well put! Even though my wife and I have not yet invited another man into the bedroom. I felt this way in the past with a girlfriend that cheated on me...I was so pissed at her and him, but oddly and unexpectedly I wanted to hear ALL of the details from her and I fucked her 7 times the next day after she cheated on me! It was a very intense, exciting, erotic experience and I couldn't stop thinking about what he did with her and how she made him feel!

Ever since that time I have had this fantasy.

Well so far I still have been trying to work up the courage to bring it up to her. I guess it's taking a little longer than I thought it would but I am absolutely loving all the advice guys!

LOL! I feel ya! It is an awkward subject to bring up! You just have to feel her out and make sure she understands you are just being honest with her about how you feel. I don't think most women would get mad at you if you are just trying to "open up" to them about your deepest darkest fantasies and feelings...that is what helps to build a stronger relationship in general anyways.