Unsure How Couples Match Up

My husband and I are attending Swingstock in July in Minneapolis. Outside of swinging with friends who have since moved out of the area, we are very new to all of this. Our main question is how couples match up. Will we be expected to partner with one couple or might he be able to go with the wife of one couple and I go with the husband of another? If it is the latter, what happens when one member of a couple is not chosen?

Thank you in advance for your replies. We are very excited for all of this to begin.

Welcome to the board!

Our main question is how couples match up. Will we be expected to partner with one couple or might he be able to go with the wife of one couple and I go with the husband of another? If it is the latter, what happens when one member of a couple is not chosen?

We're aware of Swingstock, but have never attended. I'm guessing both situations can and do occur, since both are common at all types of swing events.

Here's the key: You are expected to do only what you're comfortable doing. If you prefer to play as a couple only, then stick with that. It's OK to say "I'm flattered by the offer, but we only play as a couple".

Go have fun, and do what the two of you want to do. No expectations.

My husband and I are attending Swingstock in July in Minneapolis. Outside of swinging with friends who have since moved out of the area, we are very new to all of this. Our main question is how couples match up. Will we be expected to partner with one couple or might he be able to go with the wife of one couple and I go with the husband of another? If it is the latter, what happens when one member of a couple is not chosen?

 

Thank you in advance for your replies. We are very excited for all of this to begin.

I know nothing specific of that event, but we ONLY swing as a couple. If a couple wants my wife and not me, no one is playing, in the rare event it works the other way around, no one is playing.

Others are more "go have fun honey" and split up, though I find that far less frequent.

Do it how you want to do it and feel comfortable. Don't feel pressure to do something you don't want to do because someone acts like its expected.

Thank you so much for your replies. Much appreciated.

Now we just have to work on our other issue which is quite embarrassing for him. He has a slight curve to his junk and is really self-conscious about it. Baby steps, I guess.

Thank you so much for your replies. Much appreciated.

 

Now we just have to work on our other issue which is quite embarrassing for him. He has a slight curve to his junk and is really self-conscious about it. Baby steps, I guess.

We've played both ways at home and while traveling. If you are playing separate you just have to be sure ahead of time that you will be comfortable socializing on your own and the possibility that you won't get to play. If you are not sure about separate play, I'd just let people know you only play together. Generally that is the more common situation in my experience.

As far as the curve, it is really no big deal. I'm sure your regular friends have told him that. (or said nothing, because there really is nothing to say about it). One of the interesting things about swinging is that everyone is different. I've seen many variations and they are all great. It is really important, especially in swinging, to love yourself and love your body. Especially when it's something that you have no control over. I hope that he can focus on the fun and pleasure rather than worrying about what people think about his junk.

If it would help I'm sure he could start a thread asking about curves, and you'd get lots of reassurance.

Have fun! Swingstock sounds great.

While it sounds like you have the initial issue sorted out to your satisfaction, I'd like to reinforce that it doesn't matter how anything is usually done. What does matter is that in all cases the two of you do what works for you as a couple.

As for the curve, your husband will just have to do what everyone eventually has to do to deal with perceived physical flaws, which is to get over what you can't change and realize that nobody else cares.

Forgive a noob for weighing in on this. My first time with sex outside of a committed relationship was with a woman I worked with. She knew my vanilla history. Because of where we both were in our lives, neither of us considered a "relationship." She talked to me very upfront about having sex with her and we did. It was my first experience of sex for just the sake of sex.

Years from then, I still remember her and I appreciate her for what she taught me. She was a pretty girl, but overweight due to medication she was on. That matters less than you think. I'm still grateful for the world she showed me. Don't underestimate your power to have a positive influence on people just because you don't think you are "Hollywood" material.

I might be able to help with both issues.

I also have a slight bend in my 'junk', as much as forty degrees, although it's only noticeable when I'm erect. Since we only play as couples, though, this is far less of an issue for me. Play with her, play with me. That's just how we roll. I'll admit that I've seen some pretty shocked and disgusted faces when my 'bend' appears, and we've even been accused of bait-and-switch tactics before, but those are the rules.

It works for us.

I'm going to guess that SwingStock isn't any different than any other large swinger event... you do what you are comfortable with. There will probably be opportunities for you to play in any way you choose to play (whether it's simple pairing off or a big ole orgy).

As for the curve, what direction? And how much?

Gosh, thank you all for the additional replies. It's pretty inspiring as I am "that girl" who posts in public forums and do not receive any replies. (my husband is the published letter-to-the-editor type of guy who also gets people to reply to his Craigslist posts. I stand at zero) I guess it's just because I completely lack any sort of writing prowess. (I guess my lack of literary skill is my personal "bent dick" of sorts) I literally try to write one coherent sentence and find myself at a loss most days.

JustAskJulie, thanks. I can't detail exactly how the bend is, only that the curvature is often uncomfortable. We're not talking boomerang here but it's enough to notice once he's ridden (or is it "ridded"? I never know) himself of his Dockers. I have researched online some women are into such a situation, but I am unsure. Especially after reading the reply from the other candid poster about his own predicament. By the way, JellyInjector, I hope your situation is not typical in the swinger lifestyle. Just know, you can be so awesome even with the slightest imperfections. That's what Mom always said to me (one boob bigger than the other, here). I mean, really, as long as all the parts are slippery when wet what does it matter who has what.

Again, I thank you all for your awesome replies. We really don't even know if we should keep the reservation at this point, or just maybe try to find a couple locally.

Thanks. I have to say, though, that my condition has not been without benefits. There's been at least one partner that was impressed because of my bend. Maybe she was just collecting the experience as a trophy (Most Bent Category...I should make a medal for that), but everyone ended up enjoying the experience when we looked past the flaws and let it rock and roll. I would only tell you that it's the differences that make us exciting, BECAUSE of our bends and boobs, not despite them!

Bearclaw, if you want to go for the experience keep the reservations. The worst thing that can happen is you wind up together at the end of the night. The great thing about events like these is you really don't know what is going to happen until it happens. Just go in with the only expectation being you will have fun. If you pair off with another couple or 2 or 6 that is great. If you don't, you still get the experience and will learn more about what you like and don't.

As far as the penis issue, probably not a big deal as long as everything still fits together!

I really wouldn't worry about the bend. I do recall a guy I was with in my teens that had a major bend that was uncomfortable. I had no idea what to do with it at the time. These days I'd probably just try to work with it -figure out which way it bends and try to find a position that works it to my benefit. I'm guessing you guys have played around a bit with this and figured out a few that work well for you, so you might want to try to pass those on to playmates.

I'd definitely say go to the even and just plan to have fun. We went to a similar event (non-camping) a few years ago and had a blast. If you really freak out you can always hide in your tent/room/camper, but I doubt you will. You'll find ways to have fun - more than you know.

Not that I want pictures but the degree of bend would obviously make a difference.

Bearclaw, I just wanted to comment on the bent "junk" issue. I've played with a male who had a significant bend upward (not to the left or right) and I always gushed the most with him while riding on top. I am not saying this happens with all the ladies he plays with but I am sure your husband will bring pleasure to some and not so much for others...just like any other male. What works for some doesn't work for others because we're all unique.

At large parties it's sometimes better to split up and go your own ways while at the same time being aware of where and with whom each other is playing. Just as in life, it will be almost impossible to find a couple that each of you will be attracted to so your best bet will be to divide and conquer. If for some reason one of you can't seem to hook up, the other should back off and provide moral support. It'll be a very long ride home the next day if one of you was playing all night while the other was sitting in the car twiddling their thumbs.