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couple4fun_7463

Haven't really started swinging and already getting harassed

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So far we have only been talking to people online waiting until get off my deployment to play. We met a guy on AFF that seemed ok starting off but we are coming to the conclusion that all he wants is my wife to himself. Mind you we are not totally closed to that, but she has been getting constantly pestered by him, wanting pictures of her nude, and playing with herself. We don't have any yet and wont have any till I'm home. Now he starts pushing for her to let him come over and take some, even wants some of them together as if they were a couple showing off her wedding band. He don't seam to take no for an answer.

 

He military so he has as much to lose as I do, with exposure. We are about to cut ties all together with him, and if he pursues than, we will have to up the stakes I guess. This is not what we wanted to encounter right off the bat. Any Ideas? I think were gonna close the idea of single males with this one.

 

I hate to think I have to come home from a combat zone just to fire more rounds at an asshole. (It's a joke)

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You should expect to encounter this behavior. It comes with using Web sites to arrange meetings. Web sites worked OK for my wife and I but we had to learn how to filter the earnest from the foolish before it worked. And believe me, there is a lots of foolishness. Our swing life began, in fact, after we had met a few real swingers (at a swingers' club) and the word got around. We than started to receive invitations to other kinds of parties.

 

Wishing you good fortune in your search and in your deployment.

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Get away from AFF. Really, it's like the 'catch all' site for bottom dwellers.

 

Also, anyone that is that clingy before you are even doing anything will surely only get worse after you do. Cut him away, quickly :)

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I would just ignore all further contact from him. You don't owe him any explanation or friendship. That type of behavior is completely inappropriate. Hopefully he does not have any identifying information. I don't give out my last name or address to anyone I haven't met. I only give my cell number when a meeting is set up.

 

I also do not let anyone know upfront that I might be able to play alone in the future. I want someone who is interested in threesomes, not someone who will do a threesome with the hopes of being alone with me the next time. You want someone who will respect your relationship and who is interested in pleasing your wife, not someone who just wants sex.

 

You may want to consider closing your aff profile until you are home. Then set up a profile together on sls. You will most likely need time to adjust to being home and together again. Coming home to a list of potential partners on aff might not be the best way to get started. You guys can read books about swinging or watch swinging porn in the meantime if you want some excitement without risk.

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couple4fun_7463 said:
I think were gonna close the idea of single males with this one.

 

That was our decision some thirty years ago. We never regretted it.

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Just write and say 'thanks for your interest and best wishes' and block him. Then go to SLS. There are still some 'bottom feeders' there too (haha who said that? it was funny) As soon as the interactions go over the line, block them. Pete and I will be meeting a guy I have chatted with on and off for over two years. It had the potential to be just he and i, but i decided i wanted Pete to come to if possible and he can. I just told Tom that Pete is coming too and Tom said 'yippie a 3some for jilly'. Ain't that sweet?

 

Take your time into this swinging thing and consider what funcoupledayton said.

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The keyword to me was "AFF". We went there when we first started swinging because it showed up first in Google. I have not been there in ages, but if I remember correctly you cannot sign up as a couple, so its clearly not a swingers site.

 

We were only there a short time before figuring out it was not for us. During that time the vast majority were not even interested in threesomes, they just wanted the wife alone. I imagine that most of the males there, upon seeing it is a couple, simply think it is their opportunity to save the poor woman from the boring sex life she has with her husband (otherwise why would those women be there, right?), or that the husband is such a wuss that they can just push him out of the picture at will (after all if he was a real man he wouldn't let his wife of AFF to fuck other men, right?).

 

I wonder how many potential swinger couples AFF has scared out of the lifestyle before they ever got started.

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The keyword to me was "AFF". We went there when we first started swinging because it showed up first in Google. I have not been there in ages, but if I remember correctly you cannot sign up as a couple, so its clearly not a swingers site.

 

You can sign up as a couple.

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Has it changed in the last 3 years or is my memory incorrect? I know we were both listed on the site, but I thought my wife just listed me in her profile. And I don't remember us finding other couples.

 

I cannot even remember what the profile name is anymore to check, we dropped off the site pretty quickly because it seemed like it was all single men.

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Has it changed in the last 3 years or is my memory incorrect? I know we were both listed on the site, but I thought my wife just listed me in her profile. And I don't remember us finding other couples.

 

I cannot even remember what the profile name is anymore to check, we dropped off the site pretty quickly because it seemed like it was all single men.

 

We joined more than 3 years ago and we joined as a couple. So I am pretty sure it's been that way for quite a while. It's definitely not strictly a swingers site though. It's more of an "adult sexual connection" site. That includes couples, singles, cheaters, and plenty of fakes. Unfortunately for us it seems Ontario is quite well represented on AFF. Much more so than sites like SLS. We've found some decent success on SDC though and we've recently tried a mostly local site with good success. The local site seems to have the best population of real and serious couples.

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Good points folks. Baby went off on him, and he hasn't written back yet. I'm fine with that. We do have an SLS account, we love it. Met a whole other level of quality. There are a few people that we like there. I can think of one I love. My wife and I met there so they aren't all bad. By out 3rd date we knew it was going to be much more that NSA.

 

But yes there are a lot of bottom feeders there. Most are single males wanting either her sometimes me. The only way this guy can find us is to see us on the street. Shared face pics, right now that all we care to share with anyone. The nudies can be fun but it don't leave anything to the imagination.

 

As far as the home coming we have decided to have our new honeymoon for a while and not play with others till we are ready. We do talk to people on SLS and some have been really good to us in sharing info and just general talk. Never any pressure to talk about the bedroom or make plans. We both like that. At the very least those will likely become some good friends.

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Good points folks. Baby went off on him, and he hasn't written back yet. I'm fine with that. We do have an SLS account, we love it. Met a whole other level of quality. There are a few people that we like there. I can think of one I love. My wife and I met there so they aren't all bad. By out 3rd date we knew it was going to be much more that NSA.

 

But yes there are a lot of bottom feeders there. Most are single males wanting either her sometimes me. The only way this guy can find us is to see us on the street. Shared face pics, right now that all we care to share with anyone. The nudies can be fun but it don't leave anything to the imagination.

 

As far as the home coming we have decided to have our new honeymoon for a while and not play with others till we are ready. We do talk to people on SLS and some have been really good to us in sharing info and just general talk. Never any pressure to talk about the bedroom or make plans. We both like that. At the very least those will likely become some good friends.

 

Was about to make the points that everyone else said. Even though you guys plan on not playing with others. You might want to check out wickedgarden. We lived out in NC for awhile and while it is national, it mostly had NC people on there.

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I can't help but think that he's wanting those pictures so that he could use them to pose as a couple with your wife. Cut ties, run fast and far.

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I can't help but think that he's wanting those pictures so that he could use them to pose as a couple with your wife. Cut ties, run fast and far.

 

I think Julie nailed this one. We have seen something like this before, but we think it was a single guy posing as the female of a couple. "She" started asking us for pictures with her name written on my wife's body. We thought this too be kind of strange and said after we got some pictures of her we might consider it (seemed a little kinky but kinda fun). So, she says she will need a little time to get the pictures together because they are on her hubbies computer. We said, "Okay, we'll wait." She persisted in asking for pics of my wife. We said not until we saw some of them and new they were a real couple. Finally, we get some pics of a guy and a girl separately. The only problem is the pics are not of the same girl. In every pic the female is of a different height, weight, breast size, hair style, hair colors, even different scars. We are really confused and e-mail back pointing out the discrepancies in the pictures of the female. Which is the last we ever heard from the "couple". We tried to figure out what the ruse was and realized it was a guy hoping to get pictures of my wife with his "wife's" name on them so he could pretend he was part of a couple.

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This sounds familiar we sign up as couple on AFF (been free member for several months) and last week some guy, that lives in our town. send us a message saying how beautiful and hot my wife was, we didn't reply back and the next day he send another message saying hot and how much my wife rocked. He went on to say that he was married and needed have a "very discreet relationship" and confidentiality was must for him. Red flag went up!! The guy try to cheat on his wife. Cindy send a reply back in polite matter saying that we understand him wanting to be discreet and all but we would only consider a couples only. Next day he reply about wanting to have threesome and continue to go on about how beautiful and sexy Cindy was. That's when Cindy block him.

 

We only have free account because we didn't feel it was worth the price they want for their Gold Membership. It's guys posting articles and such there anyway and lot of them jerking themselves off on cam or movies. We have SLS that we think we'll be using more now. Our impression of AFF is that there isn't that many "hooks ups" in the first place and lot complaints from couples and single females about single and married guys trying to hook up with married females.

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We are having a much better time on SLS we love it. I cant get on as much, I had to move to another camp that has a monitored network. I still bounce back to the old site so I can get on there. I just cannot wait to get home so we can actually meet the folks we have talked to. Some seem to be really good people and that is what were looking for. Thank yall. 35days to go. Its June now and there is still snow out here.

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That's great to hear your having better luck with SLS, we're members there too, we only have a free membership at the moment, but we've had much better luck with finding couples there. Lately we haven't had the time or haven't been able to have anyone watch our kids for us, for us to be able to get together with other couples right now, but we've met some very nice couples there and had some nice conversations. I'm sorry that you had to go through that with that guy, we too have come across guys and even couples during our time in the lifestyle who were extremely pushy, and made us glad that we chose not to play with them. Guess, it's those experiences that help you know what to look out for.

 

Best of luck for you both.

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