Who does the work when it comes to swinging?

Another carry-over from tonight's live chat.

When it comes to swinging, who is in control? Is it the guy or the woman and why?

Who posts the ads?

Who answers the ads?

Who sets up the meetings?

Well I dont know about everybody else but we make all the decisions together. We have setup meetings and everything, we feel that it is both of our responsibility not just one or the other.

Right now Brad is making the intial contact, tho he keeps me posted as to what he's doing. He runs the ad and does most of the weeding out of intial e mails after reading profiles ect. He then asks for my input on those he is considering on corresponding with or setting up a possible meeting or phone conservation. We then make a joint decision on what we should do from there.

Janet

Right now i do nost of the work, but larry is right there knowing what i am doing and if he isn't right there, i let him know as soon as it is taken care of.

Robin

Me...

I get stuck with all of the labor!

L initiates.....I finalize.

My hubby does the surfing, I post the ads (only because I can type quicker) but we do it together.

We never respond or send out mail to someone that we haven't known for a time without the other being right there to add input and even for those that we have grown to know, we make sure to let the other know or print it out to be read.

Meetings are always set up by the two of us, regardless of how well we know them.

I do all the work, she reaps the rewards...

HEY!!! I quit my last job for the same shit!!!! LOL

Seriously, she has told me to find a gal for us...once I find a potential partner, she meets em,goes through her approval process, and things proceed from there facelick ...or not ()() ....

~~bare~~

For all the online stuff, it's almost always me (the female) at the keyboard. He's usually by my side, or nearby. Either one of us may read a received email but responses are discussed together and agreed on. There is NO "taking one for the team" on this team.

While we certainly have equal "veto" rights, he has always felt that the women have to be the decision makers for the best results.

Guess maybe it goes back to our dating days, way before even a thought of swinging was part of the picture. We were at a club, enjoy the "crowd watching" and talking. Viewing those who were "making their play".

Came to the conclusion that all women have E.S.P.

After all, they are the ones who KNOW who's gonna get lucky, and who isn't!

When it comes to the online thing, I think we both have equal "control". Although I do believe Stacey searches more than I do.

As far as posting ads, Stacey puts ideas out and we mutually agree on what we are looking for, but I am the one who does the actual posting. I am in the process of redoing our ad on SLS. I'm not happy with the way it looks right now(although we seem to be getting alot of replies to it recently.)

We both answer the ads....we will read the profile of that person, read the e-mail we get from them and, depending on the situation (whether we are initially interested or not, etc.) we both come up with a reply together.

As for setting up meetings, well, we're still in the process of that. The 2 experiences we've had have been spontaneous occurances. But I think that the meetings are being left up to me...so long as I take into account his days off, he's up for meeting anywhere.

~Tracy

as for us i the wife usually does all the work involved i always ask for his imput though he is shy and not good with words and i am outgoing and have a pretty good judge of character so he trust my instincts on these matters

He is self employed and even though he is busy with his company and his band he does not need to leave the house to make money. I on the other hand, commute 25 miles each way and am stuck in the middle management, (long hours), rut at the moment. I usually make the confirming phone call before we meet anyone though.

Mrs. Fun

The man makes the initiation, ads, and usually the intro's.

But as we all know the woman has the most physical fun, especially if she is into groups or Gang Bangs. The man should be her confidant, coach, participant, do the filming, and be her biggest cheerleader. Afterall she not only does it for her satisfaction, but also for his enjoyment.

Case in point: if any of you ever heard of, met, or made it with Carolyn Tucker fron VA. you know how much the woman controls. She was known for her aggressiveness and being into Cocks and Pussy, She is best known for her love of Large Gang Bangs preferrably Blackmen. She was known to arrange many of her own parties at her Condo in Alex., she would not only invite, but choreograph her men, as to how she wanted them to do her, but usually one at a time was not to her real liking, so she most times did Double and Triple Penetrations. She was most turned on when she was being Video'd. No matter what hole you started in she loved being Fucked Anally, she always lived up to her nickname - "NYMPH".

YES -Most definitely the woman does and should control, she knows how to have, and give the most fun, a party can only benefit by a controlling woman !!!

I'm a lot more computer savvy than Ms Smoothmoves, so I do most of the profile work, and I do a lot of the initial contacts and responses. She is right there next to me on everything we do, and nothing happens without her OK. She does a lot of the telephone contact with the other lady, then we all talk together before meeting.

Gary

As with all that we do, we do it together. Or at least it is discussed together. The she does most of the surfing and posting and all the rest, but the he is usually right there at the side adding his 2 cents worth. We do not respond to ads until we have both read them and then from there the she is the one doing most of the contact still with he beside or at least closely monitoring what is being said. A together decision is always best!!!

Mr B does the initial broad filtering (since he has the patience for endless trawling). Any likely prospects are compiled for a joint "for us / not for us" session, and any approach email / invitation to meet is drafted together. Replies are read together too.

I know that I am full of questions, but I guess that I am in the right spot. Currently, we are looking for a bi female to join us. Everyone knows how hard that is. head bang

Anyway, since I have access to the computer all day, I send out alot of emails and do the responding. When I find one that I feel we both would be interested in, that is when I get hubby involved, showing him emails, yahoo chats, pictures, etc... Last night, even though it wasn't brought up, I thought to myself that this may be a selfish way to do this. I may pass on someone that I myself didn't find interesting, yet he might find very HOT. My husband works long hours, and isn't computer savy, so I thought I was doing us a favor.

The question is, does one person of the couple do most of the corrisponding, then involve the other half? Or do you both sit down at the computer and check out the online sites?

Thanks!

Great question! I was wondering the same thing, so I am excited to see the responses!

Mr. Indy usually does the searches and then he emails me the ones he likes and I look them up after the kids are in bed. If I like them then I usually send off a quick email to let them know we are interested.

Sometimes, If the kids are in bed, I will look through the sites, but it honestly bores me!

We will often sit together and search on Sunday mornings over coffee on his computer. (which is more hidden from little eyes)

We do not, however, contact anyone without both of us in agreement that we are interested enough in them to atleast have coffee and see if there is chemistry.

We also reply to messages as a couple. We will discuss our interest and answer questions. We don't email seperately or chat seperately.

I am the one on SB, tho... he reads but rarely posts.

James here, I am normaly the one at the keyboard. I mostly will make first contact or have it made on me, then after a few emails i will talk to Laura {my other half, remember her?"..LOL} about the couple and/or people i am chating with.

We do actualy share the email address, i have it foward a copy to her and then set her return addy the same as the parent email client..{ok i wont get all tecky on ya..} so if she posts on a yahoo group or whatever it acts like 1 account...

OK did that make any sence to anyone at all?

In anotherwords, i am admin, she is client...god that sounds bad too..

We both do the looking, and if hubby's working when I find an interesting couple, I'll show him the profile when he gets home. He writes more of the intro letters just because I think his emails are hilarious. If someone contacts us first, I am usually the one to reply to those whether it's a "we're interested too" or "no thanks". From there we reply about equally and chat the same way. Initially though, I'd say hubby does more browsing in general- when I browse, I'm on a mission, lol. When we find a couple we like, we like to both be there when the email is sent- hubby writes it, I read it, laugh and say send it on!

The question is, does one person of the couple do most of the corrisponding, then involve the other half? Or do you both sit down at the computer and check out the online sites?

Mr LM discovered early on that the search through profiles had no interest for him. He gave it a good try, but felt the job of the search took away for the pleasure of anticipation he has with swinging.

When I find a profile that I feel might interest Mr LM, I bring it to his attention. But that doesn't happen too often. I've learned how particular he is.

Before I write to a couple, I always confer with Mr LM. We have to both agree that there is mutual interest in the couple.

LM

He writes more of the intro letters just because I think his emails are hilarious.

I would like to have one of those hilarious emails. Have a look at CuteCincyBoomerCouple on SLS, and see what you think... This is my 10th post, by the way, and so now I get to have an Avitar! Whoopee!

Cheers, Sue

I do the looking. MrMom (ha!) isn't interested in the endless corresponding and the browsing through millions of profiles. Plus, he trusts my judgement. I like to think I've got pretty good intuition when it comes to possible playmates. I haven't been too disappointed yet!

James does most of the looking and writing initial emails, but on here I am the queen LOL

Jenn

Sweet does the looking, he's the frontman. Candy gives the go ahead for followups, she determines who gets thru. We work together as a team it is about playing together right?.

Sweet_Candy

I do the looking online; she does the looking at the club.

-B

I (the bi-fem) am in charge. And, I am attracted to couples where the female 1/2 takes the lead. Although I do like my submissive fems, too...as long as they're not the "lay back and lick me" kinda of girls! LOL

I post the ads, format the pics, write the profiles, answer emails, etc. However, we both contribute to our blog. But, hey, it's ALL about the girls!

xoxo, Danni and B

http://danni654.blogspot.com

Another carry-over from tonight's live chat.

 

When it comes to swinging, who is in control? Is it the guy or the woman and why?

 

Who posts the ads?

 

Who answers the ads?

 

Who sets up the meetings?

We do this jointly, it's basically whoever is in the mood to be the one checking things out and looking for parties, etc. Then once we see them and decide we want to attend one of us will get the details/ rsvp or whatever needs to be done.

Niether of us are big on the personal ads and we only have one. I think we probably average checking it once a week between the two of us and whoever gets there first responds to whatever messages we have and lets the other know about it.

Generally, I do the work - post and screen the e-mails. He'll look at profiles and e-mails upon my request.

I tend to do most of the IMing and keeping up with what is happening, But all decisions are made together. One or the other may find a nice profile, but nothing is sent till both off us approve.

Now at the club I tend to be a bit shy so she has been the one to do most of the approaches.

I'm like a presidential adviser. I do the surfing, ad posting, chatting and preliminary screening. It then goes up the ladder to Amy, who either signs on, or vetos. But if we are at a party, she goes hunting and I get some of whatever she brings back. LOL

It's all about me, me, me! Lol, I'm home more and on the computer more than Mr. Sweet, so I do the majority of the "work". He is brought in for consultation only.

=)

Surfing the net is his domain, cruising the parties is hers, finding a couple we both enjoy, "priceless."

I'm like a presidential adviser. I do the surfing, ad posting, chatting and preliminary screening. It then goes up the ladder to Amy, who either signs on, or vetos. But if we are at a party, she goes hunting and I get some of whatever she brings back. LOL

If it's on the computer, I take care of it, with her advice and consent.

In person, she's the one going out and making it all happen. I'm just along for the oh so wonderful ride (with veto rights of course).

Online - he peruses the ads and email and we respond together; she does the chat typing (unless he's talking to a lady, then she backs off)

At parties/clubs - we separate and do our own thing (flirting/dancing), then come back together to discuss if there's a couple/single we're really interested in

Mrs. D

We don't do any of our searching on line. When we are at house parties, he is more in control since he is the pickiest of the two of us. I'll sit, drink, flirt, dance, and socialize. If he see an attractive couple, then he'll bring it to my attention so we can go over and introduce ourselves and maybe chat with the couple. If not, the night just end up being more of an meet and greet.

We kinda go back and forth. For a while, we both really did everything together, down to "hey ... I'm about to type a response to this email, wanna sit here and help me?" Then we progressed, and since I had more time, I'd do the communicating, searching the ads, etc. Well, he felt like he wasn't getting to participate as much (he loves the chase!) so here lately, he's been doing most of the communicating and hunting.

We also have progressed from "we don't type a word unless we're both there" to "hey -- if you chat with someone, just save the chat so I can read it" to "hey babe, I chatted with MrHottie a bit ago, but I forgot to save it. But here's what it was about ..."

It's time consuming, that's for sure.

I check and keep up with SLS & AFF, DD checks the e-mail daily to read the responses & reply; we've yet to attend our first "party" together.

Although Mr. F_uncouple seems to do most of the work regarding maintenance of our various profiles, we're both involved in making decisions.

When it comes to swinging, who is in control? Is it the guy or the woman and why?

My wife is in control and from what I am learning about the lifestyle the ladies are the one who make the rules, which is all good.

Who posts the ads?

He does, but she wants to know what the responses are

Who answers the ads?

He does, after she vets them

Who sets up the meetings?

He does after her approval.

I the male half work the computer side (too much at work) I look for couples who I feel that we would be compatable with then she looks and either agrees or not. If we are in agreement than we contact and go from there. We are always both in agreement with who we meet

Mr. Sav spends far more time than I do "looking " at photos and reading profiles but I handle all online communication, from creating the profile to what pictures will be posted. He completely trusts my judgement and I have to say we've been very successful at meeting wonderful couples. We've discovered that when a women takes a very active part in both creating profiles and communicating with us the chances of success (for lack of a better word) are much higher. I much prefer getting an email from the female half ,that way we know she is on board and we've passed inspection.

We don't waste much time emailing back and forth and almost never use the IM feature..........If we're all interested we meet. My theory is no matter how "good" they sound online you really know nothing until you meet face to face.

Mrs Sav

How in the heck did I miss this thread???

Dave does most of the legwork for us.

He reads the profiles and then corresponds with them, but there are times I've written back.

We both have veto power, yet I wield that more than he does.

If they contact us first, we both read the profiles and then Dave writes back.

I do most of the work, but I'm better at paying attention to detail. My husband will see a pretty face and he's all ready to get excited without so much as reading the profile. I do all the reading, writing and setting things up, with his input of course.

I do most of the work, but I'm better at paying attention to detail. My husband will see a pretty face and he's all ready to get excited without so much as reading the profile. I do all the reading, writing and setting things up, with his input of course.

In regard to the question of who does the work, I hunt; she approves or disapproves. Not really like "work" at all.

PB perves profiles; he is after all, a man, but it's just his after work ritual. We hardly ever send out anything, so the work consists of responding to nibbles and setting things up if we decide to go further. That is my job. Oh, and the reason we don't initiate? We're too busy as it is; it's not that we expect people to come to us, but if someone feels like dropping us a line we are willing to check them out. And yes, PB is a little too fast sometimes to respond to a good-looking woman with a hells yeah! without sometimes considering if the other side of the click is there. What could he be thinking with?

I am trying to get him to write more of the thank-you notes afterwards. He enjoys that.

Joint effort at our house, I write and post the ads and try to keep them up to date.

When it comes to answering emails or setting up dates, it is a mutual effort in that we both will read the email and check out the profile before a decision is made.

Once the decision is made to go forward, what site we were contacted on determines who it is that does the work. We have ads on about a dozen different sites, most of which are useless. The site we get contacted the most on is SLS (about 10 SLS contacts to 1 for all the other sites together), and Mrs. GT does all of the correspondence on there. On the rare occasions when someone contacts us on the other sites we are members of, I do the correspondence on them.

Right now Brad is making the intial contact, tho he keeps me posted as to what he's doing. He runs the ad and does most of the weeding out of intial e mails after reading profiles ect. He then asks for my input on those he is considering on corresponding with or setting up a possible meeting or phone conservation. We then make a joint decision on what we should do from there.

 

Janet

Hi Janet:)

Where does Brad place the ad? In SwingerLifeStyles, or some other site?

Curious in Frisco, TX

Russ

I can be reached at the yaw who, my eye d is exmarinesgte5.

Russ

My hubby does the surfing, I post the ads (only because I can type quicker) but we do it together.

 

We never respond or send out mail to someone that we haven't known for a time without the other being right there to add input and even for those that we have grown to know, we make sure to let the other know or print it out to be read.

 

Meetings are always set up by the two of us, regardless of how well we know them.

Hello from Frisco (Dallas), TX

Where do you guys place the "ads"? In SLS or some other site?

Russ

I can also be reached at the yaw who, my eye d is exmarinesgte5.

Russ

Another carry-over from tonight's live chat.

 

When it comes to swinging, who is in control? Is it the guy or the woman and why?

 

Who posts the ads?

 

Who answers the ads?

 

Who sets up the meetings?

With us its me the male half. She wants to get out to play, but after working all day at a computer she doesnt want to spend more time pushing the keyboard, and wants to spend it doing "other things"

I post the ads, send emails, do most of the chat, ...But we both talk to other couple by phone while she arranges the final details on when, where and what, may be on the agenda for the evening