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View Full Version : Felt something on his penis, not sure how to proceed



TeamAniston
12-14-2011, 09:47 AM
Met a single guy for a date recently. I really liked him. We started to play a little and when I touched his cock I felt a small scab on the shaft and a bump just at the base --not on the penis but like in the area around the base.

I know I should've asked him about it then but I didn't. I diverted the session back into a heavy make out with no other play.

I ask my husband's advice about it upon returning home and he offered up several explainations of what it could be- a mole (he had one removed from that area afterall), razor burn irritation, an ingrown hair. The scabbed area on his cock he said could be from jerking off too much/too hard- he admitted to getting those sometimes in his single days when all he had was his hand.

I am not trying to make excuses for him but just really trying to look at both sides. It could be HPV or herpes (I dont think so though-- the bump was rather large for herpes I think--and not clustered). I'm more concerned about HPV but I wouldn't say the area was flat either- it felt like a raised bump- like how an ingrown hair or mole might feel.

It doesn't make sense to me that he'd expose his cock to me with a raging infection of some sort but obviously, I'm not about to take that chance. He also offered zero explaination for it at the time which makes me wonder. I also did not ask him about it though.

Since we were in a parked car, I did not see it at all. I only felt it long enough for my hand to glide down the shaft of his cock.

I'm scared to offend him. I know I need to bring it up to him (I will not play with him without answers) and I know he deserves the chance to explain it to me. Afterall, it may be completley harmless but I know it's my right to ask these questions and get answers.

Such a sensitive topic. I know that being direct and honest is the best way to deal with this but thought I'd ask others advice before bringing it up to him.

So guys, how would you like to be approached in this situation?

Ladies, have you found yourself in a similiar situation? What a did you do?

I thought about sending him an email- I realize that's somewhat of a cop out but that way it gives me time to write out what I want and then gives him time to process it and decide how to respond.

Advice? Comments? Suggestions? All are appreciated.

lotsoffun201
12-14-2011, 09:57 AM
I would just ask and take a look in the light. Ingrown hairs and moles are pretty easy to pick up just by looking. HPV will either be brownish or look like cauliflower. Herpes usually drains a little.

When in doubt.......Its NOT worth it

Chicup
12-14-2011, 09:57 AM
It doesn't make sense to me that he'd expose his cock to me with a raging infection of some sort but obviously

STD's get passed along for a reason, and a horny single guy may well take a chance you won't realize it than make up some lame excuse for why they can't see you being that would often be the end of their chances.

It MIGHT be nothing, I've had a zit or two myself and I'd guess most men do, but its just sex here and who really cares if you offend him, its your health.

DigginIt
12-14-2011, 10:24 AM
If you like the guy then call him on it. As a guy, I wouldn't be offended if I had nothing to hide.

If he gets offended then maybe that's worth thinking about.

MN Tom
12-14-2011, 10:45 AM
Ask him.

Ive had ingrown hairs, and a razor burn once when I snagged on some skin.

Ingrown hairs for me look like a red pimple, and then when you finally pop the hair out of there, they do scab many times. Fairly small scab though unless someone really makes a mess digging out the hair.

A mole removal is a possibility, that will be a big scab since it's a chunk cut out from the skin.

Palladin
12-14-2011, 12:54 PM
Run! Run like a deer!

lovinher
12-14-2011, 01:15 PM
My advice would be to stay away from him for two reasons.

1-He didn't feel the need to mention it. You would think he would have because it was so obvious.
2-Without testing there is no way to know for sure.

two4youinswva
12-14-2011, 01:18 PM
You can ask him if you want to, but I don't think it's going to help.

If it's nothing, he'll say it's nothing.
If it is something, he'll say it's nothing. After all, he didn't say anything about it before, did he?


My advice would be to stay away from him for two reasons.


That's probably the best choice.

Powerglide
12-14-2011, 01:34 PM
Probably razor burn/razor bumps -- I've had that problem -- but you should definitely talk to him about it.

Tobacouple
12-14-2011, 01:46 PM
He may have Angiokeratoma. It's fairly common. Google it and you'll find a lot of info on it. I do agree with others though that this needs to addressed before any further play happens.

Stevef8
12-14-2011, 08:34 PM
You can ask him if you want to, but I don't think it's going to help.

If it's nothing, he'll say it's nothing.
If it is something, he'll say it's nothing. After all, he didn't say anything about it before, did he?



That's probably the best choice.

I agree completely. I'd say don't play without a doctor's determination as to what it is.:nono:

Miss_Piggy
12-15-2011, 01:28 AM
I'm with you that he deserves a chance to explain - given that we've already come up with a number of possible explanations...

I also agree that if he says it's nothing, that's not a good enough explanation.

-jb-
12-15-2011, 07:46 AM
Well, here’s the thing; no-matter how you do it, if you decide to proceed, you are never going to be able to get the doubt out of your mind and playing will not be much fun.

Think about it, I imagine all that wet creaminess you had when you first touched his cock quickly went away when you took it back to a make-out session, and during that make-out session, you probably could not think of anything else.

Additude
12-15-2011, 08:08 AM
If it wasn't explaind at the time, then there is trouble in River City.

Wait until he contacts you. Then ask him about it.

If he doesn't contact you, then there is probably a reason.

TeamAniston
12-15-2011, 10:06 AM
Hello and thanks for all the advice. To those of you that told me to run without even giving him a chance to explain- shame on you. I like this guy, we have a connection - it is absolutely unreasonable and immature to not give him a chance to explain this and just disappear. In fact, I should've put my big girl panties on and just asked him when I felt it. This is such a HUGE problem in this lifestyle- people just ducking out without asking questions or addressing issues that are difficult or uncomfortable. Avoiding things that may be harmless or easily fixed is causing you all to miss out on lots of potential fun- just remember that. Man up, say what you feel and it may just work out in your favor. If it doesn't, at least you tried right?

I always try to put myself in the other person's shoes-- lets say I developed a nasty ingrown hair before a date and a guy feels it and freaks. I'd hope he'd bring it up to me before just assuming the worst. I deserve a chance to explain myself to you. We are all adults here. We shoudl be able to have open discussions concerning our sexual health.

Anyway, I emailed this guy about this and he almost immediately contacted me via text. He called me on the way home from work to offer his explainations (moles) and offered to get tested. I'd say that's an ideal response and he's clearly not hiding anything on purpose. Or yes, he's a really great liar. But I really doubt that's the case. This guy is active in the lifestyle, is at many parties regularly and well known. I can't imagine it'd be easy for him to lie to many people without people catching on and talking.

Obviously, I'll be checking it out more clearly but at this point I am more than satisfied with that explaination. If I don't trust his it's moles explaination after seeing them- I'll request the test. Thanks again.

lovinher
12-15-2011, 03:17 PM
Hello and thanks for all the advice. To those of you that told me to run without even giving him a chance to explain- shame on you. I like this guy, we have a connection - it is absolutely unreasonable and immature to not give him a chance to explain this and just disappear. In fact, I should've put my big girl panties on and just asked him when I felt it. This is such a HUGE problem in this lifestyle- people just ducking out without asking questions or addressing issues that are difficult or uncomfortable. Avoiding things that may be harmless or easily fixed is causing you all to miss out on lots of potential fun- just remember that. Man up, say what you feel and it may just work out in your favor. If it doesn't, at least you tried right?



Thank you?

You asked for opinions and you got them. You seemed to already have had your mind made up so why did you ask? Next time just tell us want you want to hear.


BTW- We have not missed a thing by erring on the side of caution.

Alura
12-15-2011, 03:27 PM
In the end, most of us make our decisions based on that which we want to believe.

Alura

two4youinswva
12-15-2011, 09:19 PM
We have not missed a thing by erring on the side of caution.
and

In the end, most of us make our decisions based on that which we want to believe.

Quoted for truth.


(Thankfully, I'm pretty shameless. So I've got that going for me)

Additude
12-16-2011, 05:53 AM
:claps:

Bravo!

I like what you said and I like what you did.



Hello and thanks for all the advice. To those of you that told me to run without even giving him a chance to explain- shame on you. I like this guy, we have a connection - it is absolutely unreasonable and immature to not give him a chance to explain this and just disappear. In fact, I should've put my big girl panties on and just asked him when I felt it. This is such a HUGE problem in this lifestyle- people just ducking out without asking questions or addressing issues that are difficult or uncomfortable. Avoiding things that may be harmless or easily fixed is causing you all to miss out on lots of potential fun- just remember that. Man up, say what you feel and it may just work out in your favor. If it doesn't, at least you tried right?

I always try to put myself in the other person's shoes-- lets say I developed a nasty ingrown hair before a date and a guy feels it and freaks. I'd hope he'd bring it up to me before just assuming the worst. I deserve a chance to explain myself to you. We are all adults here. We shoudl be able to have open discussions concerning our sexual health.

Anyway, I emailed this guy about this and he almost immediately contacted me via text. He called me on the way home from work to offer his explainations (moles) and offered to get tested. I'd say that's an ideal response and he's clearly not hiding anything on purpose. Or yes, he's a really great liar. But I really doubt that's the case. This guy is active in the lifestyle, is at many parties regularly and well known. I can't imagine it'd be easy for him to lie to many people without people catching on and talking.

Obviously, I'll be checking it out more clearly but at this point I am more than satisfied with that explaination. If I don't trust his it's moles explaination after seeing them- I'll request the test. Thanks again.

-jb-
12-16-2011, 07:52 AM
I triple dog dare you to put your hand on his cock and not think about this thread. :lol:

(sorry-just having fun)

Good luck and we want to hear the hot stories!!

TeamAniston
12-16-2011, 10:16 AM
Thank you?

You asked for opinions and you got them. You seemed to already have had your mind made up so why did you ask? Next time just tell us want you want to hear.


BTW- We have not missed a thing by erring on the side of caution.



I had not already made my mind up but I was not about to jump to the worst either (not without seeing and asking for further explaination). I was hoping someone else found themselves in this situation and could tell me how they handled/how the reaction was. I was not looking for people to tell me what I wanted to hear. I'm down with people telling me to be cautious but really come on- to just RUN without even asking him- that makes me look like a bitch (especially if it was over nothing). Plus then I miss out on the fun I could be having with this guy.

I was also erring on the side of caution- I still am. Although when a guy calls the doctors and gets an appointment for the following week to get tested I' m inclined to believe he's an upstanding guy. When he immediately contacts me (rather than avoiding me), explains things to me in a non-defensive way, reassures me that it is my right to ask these quesitons and he is in no way offended, I'm also inclined to believe him.

Had he avoided me for days (or just stopped talking to me alltogether) or responded in a defensive manner, I obviously would feel differently.

I have seen photos and am even more satisfied with the explaination than yesterday. He's made an appointment to get tested and I will look at those tests even though I'd say I trust his explainations.

I know the nay sayers will say -- you can use photoshop to fake a report -blah blah blah. Being in this lifestyle is taking already taking a huge leap of faith- sometimes you just have to dive in and trust people are honest and have your (as well as their) best intentions in mind.

Chicup
12-16-2011, 11:09 AM
Just a side note, they don't have a accurate test for HPV for males.

Miss_Piggy
12-16-2011, 08:52 PM
Just a side note, they don't have a accurate test for HPV for males.

Couldn't the doctor look at the bump though? I know it doesn't involve test-tubes or anything but I'd be inclined to trust the doctor.

casablancabuff
12-16-2011, 09:31 PM
Mrs Aniston,

Just wanted to say that I think you handled the situation perfectly and with class. I was also a little offended by a couple the remarks but everyone is entitled to their opinions.

Regards