She was great, but...

So we went out and met this couple last night at a bar. We really clicked with the girl - she was super sweet and funny and cute. But her boyfriend got sloppy drunk and was EXTREMELY forward and rude and even braggy. I'm all for honesty, but within 15 minutes of meeting them he was asking very personal questions. I also felt like the conversation totally centered around him and what he wanted, when the original plan was for it to just be the girls playing this time while the guys watched. He kept asking me (the female in our couple) personal questions, while at times completely ignoring my bf and his gf.

We ended up leaving without going home with them and I'm really glad about that. It seemed that in his state things would have ended up going badly. It's just unfortunate that we clicked so well with her when her boyfriend was so rude and off-putting. I'm wondering the best way to tell her that we really liked her but that things probably won't work out because of her boyfriend... Maybe we can try to meet again without the drinking?

In any case, we learned a lot and my boyfriend (who was a little nervous to begin with) feels a lot more comfortable with the prospect of swinging. We'll keep looking for a better fit. I'm so glad to have found this community of supportive and helpful people

1. Alcohol

2. Going outside of agreed bounds

3. Acting ignorant

That would be enough in any game of baseball to call him out on strikes. Anyway, swing lifestyle is not a game. It's simply an activity to be enjoyed. There are better people waiting for you, I'm sure.

Thank you, I agree. It is unfortunate, but we don't want to latch onto the first people we meet, especially since he was so abrasive.

It's hard when people get sloppy drunk. On the one hand, he might be perfectly charming sober. If you can keep him that way, that is.

On the other, in vino veritas...

SW_PA_Couple is right: plenty of fish in the sea.

I think we would have entertained the idea of meeting again, but with a firm understanding that we are not excess-alcohol friendly. We would have only given it one more shot, though.

The White Man's poison water makes smart people stupid.

Alura

I would either do what Alura suggested or if you decide to just count them out completey, no explanations needed. Just tell them the age old "we aren't compatible" and leave it at that.

You will find that this is one of the most frustrating parts of swinging; that is, you'll really like one member of a couple, but not the other. Making a four-way match is difficult.

We personally would pass on a follow-up meeting. Our belief is that almost everyone wants to make a good first impression, and if that is the best he can do the first time he meets you, then how's he going to act when he starts getting comfortable around the two of you?

Best of luck as the two of you move forward!

We would meet them again, but only if we came upon them at a party.

I can understand if maybe the boyfriend was nervous and drank too much to overcompensate. The only thing though is I dont fall for the cover story of people acting completely out of character when drunk. I think it just removes inhibitions, not completely changing how they want to act.

4 way matches are tough at times, and you will find that you get along well with one person and find nothing with the other fairly often.

The last couple we met at a restaurant was that way. We chatted with the wife for a good 2 hours beforehand, really hit it off well. Her hubby though was a total dud, and since they only played together, it was a no go.

I agree with you MN_Tom. When we first got there he wasn't completely bombed and he was still quite abrasive. So far I have not heard back from them, so maybe it will work itself out and we won't have to do the awkward "We're not compatible."