Just Joined

[CuriousCouple18]

We are a committed and totally "in love" married couple that is just looking at what swinging has to offer. Not interested in just "doing it" with anyone, but rather looking for other married couples that have begun the lifestyle and interested to find out what they have gained (or lost) because of it. Right now, we think it could be very exciting and have talked about the anticipation "tingle" if tonight was to be the first night. But want to hear what others have to say about their first time--not the details, just how their feelings toward each other might have changed right after "it" happened.

We would never, ever want to not be with each other, and we think our sex life is pretty good right now. But of course, there's not much to compare it to since we are both pretty inexperienced except for marriage (2 each). So this would be a really "big step" for us--if we do get involved.

We would definitely not be into orgies, bi, gay. We are totally "straight" and wouldn't be the least bit interested in experimenting with same sex, or threesomes, etc. Just one couple in a private setting--their place, our place, or a hotel or cruise ship (does that happen?)

We are both in early 60s, so not looking for youngsters. However, we are both in very good shape as we work out constantly, eat generally healthy and are only social drinkers. Neither of us is a smoker, so most people think we are much younger than we actually are.

So we're open for any advice from any long time married couple.

[funcoupledayton]

We've been married 13y, together 22. We're in our late 30's. We were each other's first and only partners before starting swinging. It has been wonderful for us.

One thing I would say is never say never. You may find that you are interested in bi play or group play down the line. Be prepared to learn new things about both of your sexualities and be prepared to share them openly. I did not think I'd be interested in playing with women, and I don't consider myself bi, but I've had lots of fun with girls. The same goes for group play. Maybe you'll meet 2 or 3 couples you really like. It can be a really good experience to play in a group. The biggest thing is to communicate openly and be open minded toward your spouse.

Welcome to the forum. There are a ton of first time experience stories to read. Hope you join in and post your questions and ideas.

[DigginIt]

We have been together for fourteen years, Married for twelve and in the lifestyle for two.

The thing about swinging is it's always evolving.

You have an idea of what you would like to try, where, with who, etc. but those ideas of what you like are based on your years of experiences. Now you throw in something new that you have never done before and while debriefing with your partner you find out that the two of you really liked something a little different as well as some of the same things.

You are already on your way to changing what you want to try on your next encounter and so on and so on.

The best advice I could offer is keep an open mind, be honest with what you like and don't like and through your communication you will have the best experiences ever.

Swinging is simply sharing a more intimate side of yourselves with others for mutual enjoyment.

[JustAskJulie]

For us, nothing changed. Even with prior experience, I was a little worried going in at how I might feel after I saw him with others, but it does nothing but make me want him more.

[vanillaknot]

...or cruise ship (does that happen?)

Oh...yes.

We were on the Nov 2010 swinger cruise ship takeover down the Yucatan peninsula. What a simply lovely time, we made a few nice friends, and had some very fun and interesting experiences. We liked it so much that we've signed up to do it again in Nov 2012.

[Tina and Bob]

If you are in love and truly committed to your partner, the swing experience will only bring you closer. We have absolutely no regrets.

[Dont.Stop]

Friends for 15 years, a couple for 7, married for 5.

Swinging brought us closer together than we had imagined possible... because we thought we were as close as we could be. We always revel in the glow of an exciting encounter with another couple, and it just notches up the intensity when we have sex with each other. It may seem scary when you first let your love go with another (and sometimes I think it is still a wee bit scary) but they always come back and it's wonderful.

[EnjoyingLife]

Hi there - we've been together 28 years, married almost 24. We're only in our early 40s, so if you do the math you'll realize that our previous sexual experience was very limited. Our first experience with the lifestyle was just being in the same room with others. That was about 1-1/2 years ago. We've since progressed to soft swinging--but only on a very, very select basis. We still love watching/being watched, though and have been going to on-premise clubs.

We're best friends and almost never, ever argue. We have had a couple of misunderstandings as we've become more involved in swinging. Nothing big and probably just because this is all still new to us and every experience is still a learning experience. That's been a little strange for us, because the maybe three "misunderstandings" we've had in the past six months or so have probably been more than in the last five years. But really, they've been no big deal. We talk about it, resolve it, and it's done and over with. For example, we've learned we need to take a time out half way through a night at a club to talk with each other and make sure we're on the same page, rather than just trying to read signals and sometimes misreading them.

Have we lost anything? Absolutely not! If anything, we talk much more openly now. Personally, I've really benefited from the confidence boost swinging has given me. For the first time in my life, I feel able to "own" my sexuality and my self image is much stronger. My husband would just tell you that I am much more "open" sexually...he says I've changed a lot, but that he is really enjoying the changes. So, no. We haven't lost anything. We've only gained from the experiences.

Good luck to you! The people on this message board are amazing. Definitely read as much as you can and ask all the questions you want.