Husbands absent from pics on SLS

I guess I just wanna rant. We perused profiles last night for a while and out of probably 100 profiles, only 20 of them included pics of the husband. If you are a couple, present yourself that way. I shouldn't have to email countless couples asking for pics of the husband. Isn't it common sense that the wife of one couple will wanna see the husband of another? (especially if the profiles you are looking at say they are interested in couples). Us women do care about the looks of whomever we sleep with. Duh!

This aspect of swinging is absolutely no fun at all to me and have about decided to take a more backseat approach I guess. Let someone else do the legwork and they can email us and maybe attending clubs and parties.

Lol, it is a problem. Not completely sure why it is, we have none on the public side of me either. I guess guys are just generally lazy .

In our case, I take most of the photos, so there are not that many of me. And the ones we have usually include me holding the kids or with other family members. There are very few of the two of us together alone. We have scheduled numerous times to take some more, but something always comes up.

But frankly there are no good excuses.

My wife believes that any profile that doesn't at least show something of the male half means he is a troll and can only meet other couples if his wife is 'selling' it for the two of them.

My wife believes that any profile that doesn't at least show something of the male half means he is a troll and can only meet other couples if his wife is 'selling' it for the two of them.

You took those words right out of my mouth I swear! If her tits and ass are the only thing you got to offer then let her make a singles profile. Hell if they didn't say on the profile they were a couple you would think all of Swing Lifestyle is made up of the fabled unicorns that are spoken of because that's all you get to see.

I finally said to my husband last night. Imagine if 90% of the pics on here were cock pics and you rarely got a glimpse of the wife. You would get turned off real quick. Sometimes folks don't get it until you put it in perspective.

Very funny and very true!

My wife does 80% of the reaching out to others. Her first sentence is almost always the same, "hey, great profile but where's the pictures of your guy?"

If they have ANY pictures of the man in their private profile, crop off the head and put it online. (CoupleErotic - you at least admitted you were lazy and that is acceptable because we like your posts!)

You would think these couples would want to do everything to make it easy for another to reach out to them but obviously they have so many couples beating down their doors they don't feel it's necessary.

Now outside of the ones looking for bi females I think its simply 80% of the profiles are being controlled by the men who are assuming other men are doing the looking as well.

Funny thing is that if there is no picture of the female and only the male the female is ALWAYS a troll.

But we have run into several couples where only the female has pictures and the male is good looking.

We made sure to take pics of both of us for our profile because I HATE seeing nothing but the female pics. Hello, is there a man somewhere?

Unfortunately we have noticed it's very common, and in those cases we offer to meet at the local club for a drink.

I ended up blocking one male from contacting me. We chatted a few times - the only pic of his wife was a very innocent pic - sitting at her laptop. After a few chats he admitted she really wasn't into the lifestyle at all. Troll!

We haven't actually caught one outright yet NC but that is why we implemented our "no more than two emails" after "first positive response" without voice confirmation.

Chicup - so true about the male only pics. She's a troll.

Then again, we are are both semi-scary.

We will not contact another couple if 1) there are no pics or 2) There are only pics of the woman. Are we perhaps missing out on some great people..sure. Can we move on to the next profile WITH pictures yes.

This is a big pet peeve of mine. It IS common sense that the female half of couples will be interested in seeing what the other guy looks like. There are many "reasons" why so many couples don't post pictures of him, and none of them are acceptable in my opinion.

However, there have been a surprising number of times when the guy is quite attractive. Just no public pictures. Makes me want to wring his neck... afterwards .

I need to be drawn to a profile to put any effort into it. If there aren't photos of both I find myself getting disinterested very quickly.

I need to be drawn to a profile to put any effort into it. If there aren't photos of both I find myself getting disinterested very quickly.

Well I hope our profile doesn't disappoint...lol ...we try to mix up ours every other month...you guys do a good job yourself...

nothing I hate worse than just the woman..because nine times out of ten the there is a reason the guys isnt pictured...and that just exasperates my wife out to no end..

So kudos to the couples who put the guys on as well...everybody else who doesn't shame on you.

Cheers

This has been a pet peeve for mrs tom since day one.

We can understand if someone has a job that wont agree with them being on a site, well then take a picture of at least your body (clothed is fine, just not ultra baggy shape obliterating clothes) with no head.

And have a face pic somewhere in your privates or something. It's not that hard to have the wife snap a pic of the hubby, obviously vice versa is being done plenty.

We haven't run into too many of the invisible trolls though, although haven't seen the "omg he's a model" situations either. Most of the time when we finally do see the guy he's perfectly average, which is fine. And then it just leaves us baffled as to why his pics weren't around in the first place.

Same goes for profiles that have nothing but boob/butt/female parts close ups. If the only pics are zoomed in close ups of those areas, we are turned off.

Saw a rather funny profile yesterday as an example. It was a couple (although might as well have been a single woman since the guy only watches according to the profile) that the gal had gotten ultra giant implants. And every single picture was just another shot of her ginormous breasts. Im talking huge, the size of soccer balls.

And yet, in her profile she writes "ok, if all you think of me is giant breasts, dont message me, because Im more than that".

It's like.. really? All you give us to see in your 15 pics was giant breast shots, not a single other picture..

Same goes for profiles that have nothing but boob/butt/female parts close ups. If the only pics are zoomed in close ups of those areas, we are turned off.

Ditto on that!

 

Saw a rather funny profile yesterday as an example. It was a couple (although might as well have been a single woman since the guy only watches according to the profile) that the gal had gotten ultra giant implants. And every single picture was just another shot of her ginormous breasts. Im talking huge, the size of soccer balls.

And yet, in her profile she writes "ok, if all you think of me is giant breasts, dont message me, because Im more than that".

It's like.. really? All you give us to see in your 15 pics was giant breast shots, not a single other picture..

Umm...Exactly!

And every single picture was just another shot of her ginormous breasts. Im talking huge, the size of soccer balls.

And yet, in her profile she writes "ok, if all you think of me is giant breasts, dont message me, because Im more than that".

It's like.. really? All you give us to see in your 15 pics was giant breast shots, not a single other picture..

LOL, now that is funny.

For starting this thread. Almost every time Mr. Femnewb and I are on a site together the conversation leads to...."where are the pics of him!". Mr. Fem does most of the emailing and he too, like some of you, is quite frustrated with having to reply with..."may we see some pics of the male half?"..in some version.

We have revolted against this females-only-pics (or multi pics of her and one blurry or non descript of him) by putting his face first and foremost! It is also a subtle message that even though his lady love (me) is bisexual, this is not about the women for us. It is a couples particiaption activity for us. Side note: My face is in private pics due to vanilla world restrictions. But my body is up there!

Maybe some great play couples have passed us by for having his face as the primary picture and not having any "sexy" shots up front. That may be the price we pay to try and get a subtle message across to those who email us.

Maybe some great play couples have passed us by for having his face as the primary picture and not having any "sexy" shots up front. That may be the price we pay to try and get a subtle message across to those who email us.

I would venture to say you are probably going to get better qualified responders

We had a couple picture up for the longest time (we only have one recent one of us together - pretty sad, lol.) We recently changed it out because we know how we are. We recognized pictures and say yep, seen that one already but we like it when we see pictures of couples.

We rejoined a site, not SLS, and amusingly the female/male ratio is about 30-1. There was one profile I was looking at last night where there were no fewer than 40 photos of the woman in various states of nudity, and not a single one of the man. Their profile mentioned his pictures were in their locked section and to ask to see them.

Now really. If you that worried about your identity that you can't even post a face blocked out body shot, odds are you shouldn't have 40 pictures of your wife's face and nude body on there, as someone who knows you might be able to put 2 and 2 together.

While this was an extreme example it IS par for the course on this site.

We rejoined a site, not Swing Lifestyle, and amusingly the female/male ratio is about 30-1. There was one profile I was looking at last night where there were no fewer than 40 photos of the woman in various states of nudity, and not a single one of the man. Their profile mentioned his pictures were in their locked section and to ask to see them.

 

Now really. If you that worried about your identity that you can't even post a face blocked out body shot, odds are you shouldn't have 40 pictures of your wife's face and nude body on there, as someone who knows you might be able to put 2 and 2 together.

 

While this was an extreme example it IS par for the course on this site.

Okay, I'm going to get slammed on this (not by you Chicup but I'm sure by others) but I've been wanting to say it and just didn't want the harassment but here it goes...

Why do such beautiful women marry trolls? I'm not the most handsome guy but OMG, we see you at the clubs. Strutting around all hot and sexy with your husband's hairy knuckles dragging the ground.

There, it's out there...the truth.

I am usually the one behind the camera so I rarely have pics of me. I'm biased I know, but I find my wife beautiful and love to show her off. I enjoy hearing the comments and post her on several wife posting sites. For me, it is as much of an erotic charge as swinging itself. It is rare that the wife of potential playmates ask for pics and most women of the couple we have been with are much more interested in how we treat them, talk with them, or how intellectual we may or may not be...I fully admit that my wife is sorta my free pass when it comes to swinging. It is true I don't get as many looks as my bride or certainly the compliments, but most women we have been with find qualities in me that supercede just the outer package. Within just a few short emails or conversations, my wife knows if she will or won't enjoy the company of another man. To be honest, she has found the ones whos outward appearance was lacking to have been the best sex partners...Most of the GQ types are so into themselves and arrogance turns her off more than anything else...She with very few exceptions finds looks are not the driving force and usually doesn't care if a profile has a male picture or not....I hope other women feel the same...I can show them pictures of myself, but I'd much rather show off my wifes beauty first and foremost.

Why do such beautiful women marry trolls? I'm not the most handsome guy but OMG, we see you at the clubs. Strutting around all hot and sexy with your husband's hairy knuckles dragging the ground.

I don't know, BUT THANK GOODNESS THEY DO!!

Just kidding, I don't think I am a troll, and no one has told me I am either. But I certainly think I married up.

Physical attraction certainly is generally the first thing most people notice, but there is so much more. I am attractive enough that women don't run, but I am not delusional enough to think I am a Greek god either. But my wife liked my wit, sense of humor, intelligence etc. Whatever I am or am not, I have been fortunate to date some beautiful women. I would say it was because I was an athlete (not as good as being a rock star, but not bad either), but my wife could not stand athletes, that was actually something I had to overcome with her.

A friend of mine who is about 5'8", over weight, bald etc, and has looks that would, let's say, make swinging a challenge. His wife is a 6'0" statuesque blond, great body, beautiful face, great personality. She would be welcome at any swingers party. But he is one of the greatest guys you could ever want to meet. I am not sure what the initial attraction was, and I can't figure out how to ask without sounding like I am saying "what the hell attracted you to him?" But whatever it was, she got to know him and they are a great couple.

This is our biggest peeve, too. This is especially annoying when the male half contacts us, we tell them we might be interested and ask nicely for a male picture, then we never hear another word. We don't know what to make of it. There is nothing we both like more in a profile than a G-rated couples pic that shows general body type and faces. If you contact us and can't provide that easily, we wonder.

There is nothing we both like more in a profile than a G-rated couples pic that shows general body type and faces. If you contact us and can't provide that easily, we wonder.

That's how I feel and that's what I provide.

Okay, I'm going to get slammed on this (not by you Chicup but I'm sure by others) but I've been wanting to say it and just didn't want the harassment but here it goes...

 

Why do such beautiful women marry trolls? I'm not the most handsome guy but OMG, we see you at the clubs. Strutting around all hot and sexy with your husband's hairy knuckles dragging the ground.

 

There, it's out there...the truth.

No worries guys. They (whoever "they" are) have actually done a study of this very same thing you speak because. According to the studies it is actually very prevalent in society where the more attractive woman picks "down" shall we say from the same level of attraction as you would think she would be married or involved with in a relationship.

In studies most women whether from bad experiences in previous marriages or types of relationships found that the more handsome man would take them for granted and not treat them with the repsect they thought they deserved. They were basically taken for granted and did not feel appreciated enough. A lot of the attractive women said they did not get the emotional support they sought from the attractive man whereas when when they found a more "sensitive" and more attentive less attrractive man they were willing to overlook his physical shortcomings and pick the more important aspect to them which was simple affection and feeling of being actually loved by the person they were with.

Also the study showed that there are actually more "attractive" women (girls) born and in the world currently and less handsome men (boys) being born in society as of right now. So the women have less attractive men to choose from. So unless the woman is a lesbian she is at a big disadvantage at finding a man who is attractive and sensitive at the same time for a relationship.

I'd say my wife is very lucky then ....look us up ladies ...

In studies most women whether from bad experiences in previous marriages or types of relationships found that the more handsome man would take them for granted and not treat them with the repsect they thought they deserved. They were basically taken for granted and did not feel appreciated enough.

I believe it. Completely.

I think there are many reasons the husbands aren't as prolific on the sites. I for one (the husband) do most of the picture taking and Mrs is indeed very beautiful. I am by no means a troll either IMHO (LOL)

I think it just has to do with logistics. I for one, look to see at least a few pics of BOTH THE MAN AND WOMAN TOGETHER IN ONE SHOT. If there aren't at least a few of them its a red flag to me. I'm not so concerned about face shots since they are usually available to interested parties, but they MUST have several together, otherwise I have to believe they are not a real couple. At least someone should take a pic of them together at one time or another, and at the very least in a mirror.

Recently we have run across a few "couples" where there were only pictures of the male half which are obviously fake profiles. When they contact us (we never would contact them) the same response always seems to crop up......"well I can get a girl" or, "the mrs. doesn't mind if I play" We just laugh at these.

We have also run across profiles where only the woman is pictured and they are often times a fake male profile, but then again haven't we all seen them?

So we stand by our belief that any profile pictures should have the man and woman in the SAME picture together. You don't have to include a face in the public section but the same uncropped photo in the private section or via back channels usually indicates they are at least a real couple. The pictures might be old, but at least they are real. I guess a date stamp on the pic is good for verification of when they were taken, but then again we are guilty as well since many of our pics came from cell cameras which don't date stamp.

Just our two cents

I would venture to say you are probably going to get better qualified responders

 

We had a couple picture up for the longest time (we only have one recent one of us together - pretty sad, lol.) We recently changed it out because we know how we are. We recognized pictures and say yep, seen that one already but we like it when we see pictures of couples.

If better qualified means more contacts that lead to a first meet then not...then I would say so. We have noticed it does reduce the number of emails we recieve. But those we have met with, play or not, have been fun meets!

And now you remind us...we do need to get a new couples pic of us on the site. Our present one is poor quality and not a setting that tells something about us. We use the camera so much for work that we forget to get it out for social events. Guess that's one more thing to be put on the New Year's To Do List!

Why do such beautiful women marry trolls? I'm not the most handsome guy but OMG, we see you at the clubs. Strutting around all hot and sexy with your husband's hairy knuckles dragging the ground.

Thank you, we've always quesitoned that but never had the guts to admit thinking it. Present company excluded of course. On that note I feel I married up too so I can't complain.

I just got through complaining about the lack of guy pictures on another thread. Maybe 1 in 30 profiles in our area has anything on the male half in the couple's profile. Admittedly our's is lacking right now in shots of myself but we went from having a bunch to taking anything with our faces down from SLS outside of our private folder.

It has gotten to the point where my wife pretty much refuses to even look at a profile unless we have seen a face shot of the guy as 99% of the guys in our area haven't been even close to her type (face-wise).

Our profile contains only one picture of my husband, but that's because we're just looking for single males and it doesn't really matter if they're attracted to him or not! I figure they should at least know who the other guy in the room is though, so that's why his picture is up. We're working on getting a better couple picture but we're both so picky we can never agree on one.

Okay, I'm going to get slammed on this (not by you Chicup but I'm sure by others) but I've been wanting to say it and just didn't want the harassment but here it goes...

 

Why do such beautiful women marry trolls? I'm not the most handsome guy but OMG, we see you at the clubs. Strutting around all hot and sexy with your husband's hairy knuckles dragging the ground.

 

There, it's out there...the truth.

OMG too funny, Our first experience in club we went to, we both looked at each other and said exactly those words! I mean unless your a supermodel handsome/beauty in in the eye of the be holder, but the men were jsut plain

slobs! We've decided that maybe that is why men jsut will not post pics.

OMG too funny, Our first experience in club we went to, we both looked at each other and said exactly those words! I mean unless your a supermodel handsome/beauty in in the eye of the be holder, but the men were jsut plain

slobs! We've decided that maybe that is why men jsut will not post pics.

Lol, I must have missed DiggingIt's post last year. I just think many men just have no clue as to putting their best foot forward as well as age being much more nasty to them than women. Not that all couples are this way, but we agree as well.

Because there are so many profiles without pics of the male half in them is one of the main reasons why we do not search for couples on line. We prefer to meet couples at house parties to get to know them better.

I completely agree! Whats the point of showing only half of the couple?? If i cant see what the man looks like-how am i suppossed to know if im interested??

We prefer to meet couples at house parties to get to know them better.

We attend socials or meet solely through SLS. We won't go to house parties in our area. None of the house parties in our area have any filters on who they allow to come (often there will be two single males to every couple) and most have no reservations about who they fuck.

Nothing personal (and this will send our "your such snobs" PM's through the roof I'm sure) but we are way too picky for the crowds that our local host's will attract to their events. It has nothing to do with attraction/looks but more that we didn't get in the lifestyle to just fuck people. We are the two most precious people to one another and so when we decide to share our bed with others, it's going to be with people who appreciate their spouses just as much as we appreciate each other or it's a deal breaker for sure.

There was someone who's screen name was Boobalicious on sls who was complaining in chat that guys would say "nice tits" to her as an opening line in chat. Guess what her first photo was as well?