I'm a hotwife, and have problems with guys and their online profiles

Yeah, I'm looking for cock, but so many are so aggressive and the replies are so goofy that sometimes I just throw my hands up in the air.

They write for Example: So, when can we fuck.

#1  I'd like to fuck you and think your hot. I'm 6'3 200lbs and well hung.

#2. Well, it doesn't tell me anything but this guy is goofy if he thinks that I'm just going to go meet up with him. He didn't say anything about his interests sexually or anything..and didn't include a photo. This is what I get 90% of the time.

#3. I think swingers sites should include a diagram of what people should put about themselves, and no matter what , they should always have a photo in their profile. Cause' 9x's out of 10 they aren't real anyway if they aren't including a photo. This is what I've always experienced. And...when they don't include a photo, sometimes they are just plain self-conscious. In my opinion, they shouldn't be in the lifestyle to begin with if they are that self-conscious and have their own issues to deal with.

I know, I'm a bitch...lol.... but at least I'm truthful.

Macy

Well put Macy, over aggressive types who just say let's fuck are ignoring the respect all people deserve, and the social, hilarious side of the people we meet.

so, wanna fuck? Meetussson -- formerly from Dayton, how ya been?

Macy,

I wouldn't say your a "bitch" as you put it. I would say your just calling the shots as you see them and you sound pretty dead on to me.

It's not going to change, I know it's frustrating, but your going to have to believe in the power of the delete button for awhile.

Be true to yourself. Don't accept less than you are looking for and eventually the mud will settle to the bottom and you'll find what you are looking for.

Keep your chin up.

There is a couple that has quite clearly definied what they are looking for in a single male in the area where Dave is now.

They go on to list all of these qualities - truly single, between such and such an age, must have face pic and other pic, and then they have subty put in there to tell the single male to put "I'm applying for your search for a decent single male" (or something like that, I'm not looking at the profile right now) in the subject line.

Single males are forced to actually read the profile at least to even get them to open an email. I can't say how well it works, but heck, thought it was interesting

bradandmacy said:

I know, I'm a bitch...lol.... but at least I'm truthful.

Bitching is a God-given right.

We all have to grin and bear it. If swinger's Web sites did not solicit and sell memberships to single males, including the many married cheaters and the socially inept, they would have to make up for the loss in revenue by charging each earnest swinger several hundred dollars a year. When JoAnn and I receive a message from an asshole, we say to ourselves, well, at least he is a paid asshole.

SW_PA_Couple said:

Bitching is a God-given right.

 

We all have to grin and bear it. If swinger's Web sites did not solicit and sell memberships to single males, including the many married cheaters and the socially inept, they would have to make up for the loss in revenue by charging each earnest swinger several hundred dollars a year. When JoAnn and I receive a message from an asshole, we say to ourselves, well, at least he is a paid asshole.

Ha! I never thought about it that way! So true!

And to the OP: yes, whether you're looking for swinging couples or a good single guy, wading through pools of "stuff" on the way to the diamonds just comes with the territory. Sorry not to have a better take on it... but if you ask 100 swingers on this Board that question I'll bet 98 of them would say the same thing. Good luck out there... good things do happen.

Ha! I never thought about it that way! So true!

I'd be willing to shell out the extra money if it kept that type off the sites.

I'd be willing to shell out a couple of extra hundred dollars a year so save my self a couple of hundred hours of BS : ) . Another thing... when I ask for a pic, 9x out of 10... they send a dick pic first thing instead of their face..(ha ha). I don't mind the dick pic, but would definitly like to see a face pic first but rarely get that.

Macy

I'd be willing to shell out the extra money if it kept that type off the sites.

Oh, here's a recipe for some angry men... charge single guys more for site memberships than other people. THAT'd get people going. They get charged more to go to parties already, so...

Yes, I'm mocking, and I know you didn't suggest that. I don't know what the right answer is. We're a little spoiled since we're not looking for single guys, we have them blocked on SLS, and don't get much email from them on AFF.

To the OP, I think whoever suggested going to clubs that allow single guys had a very good idea.

Macy.

you said. "they should always have a photo in their profile." but I do not see a photo on your profile at this time.

I don't think a pic is what I want to see as much as a description that would make someone want to look..

Eximpol

Now, I am 46 years old. I top the scales at 285lbs, I'm 6'3" tall.. I have bedroom blue eyes (so I have been told), Going bald on top. but there is still a fire in the basement. I drive truck for a living, so I'm hear to day and gone tomorrow. But i still love to laugh and listen to old rock and good country music. At times I like to just stay in with a good move and maybe a cold drink ( hot is good too ). I do enjoy long walks in a park or beside a lake/river.

NOW if you got this, would you want to know more?

I'm sorry your finding the little boys that clam to be swingers. you sound like a lady that knows what she want..

good luck in your search.

. . .you said. "they should always have a photo in their profile." but I do not see a photo on your profile at this time. . .

Perhaps your requests in your searches are eliciting this type of response?

What sort of message are you sending?

Quote

 

Perhaps your requests in your searches are eliciting this type of response?

 

What sort of message are you sending?

Excellent point.

There could also be things about your profile that draw more less-than-favorable email. If you happen to have an Swing Lifestyle profile, you can link it here and members can take a look and comment.

We even have thread for Couples Profile Reviews.

We have made our ads pretty descriptive too and no,it doesn't make things much better. Guys still do exactly what the OP has described. We have even chatted with guys who saw the wifes pics and still refused to show a pic or give any info on themselves. We aren't asking for bank accounts here,just some information pertinent to thier having sex with my wife. We also get tired of guys who aren't local and can't understand why we won't change our lives for them to meet us.

I had this printed on a mug for a friend: "I'm not an insensitive bitch. I just have standards."

Hey Macy,

I don't think you're a bitch - it's always refreshing for someone to be honest either with a photo or a photo + honest conversation. We are not currently on SLS & probably won't be for a while. No photo here because not needed to chat & share opinions but if you emailed we would supply one.

You've had lots of great ideas posted. When we were on SLS; my face shot would go out 1st with a question - "Do you want to see more? How much?"

That worked well - no one offended.

I'd be willing to shell out a couple of extra hundred dollars a year so save my self a couple of hundred hours of BS : ) . Another thing... when I ask for a pic, 9x out of 10... they send a dick pic first thing instead of their face..(ha ha). I don't mind the dick pic, but would definitly like to see a face pic first but rarely get that.

 

Macy

What is up with that. Why do they mostly want to send a dick pic first? I've had some that I couldn't get anything but a dick pic.

What is up with that. Why do they mostly want to send a dick pic first? I've had some that I couldn't get anything but a dick pic.

My bet is that:

1. It was not the sender's dick!

2. They are cheating.

3. They are horribly ugly and that in their mind is their best sttribute.

4. they are just picture gatherers.

We delete the E-mails that are sent with that as an opener! No real reply is necessary as they are not (in our opinion) REAL!

Can't speak for the single guys, some are simply rude, most are to self centered to waste time on anyway.

As far as pics go, I guess we are in the 1%. We are real, we do play, and it is soft play to this point. WE do meet with others, we do share pics, but only after we have been in touch enough to feel comfortable with them. If this makes us fakes, nothing I can say would change your mind anyway, unless you met us at a club, and took my hardened cock for a test drive until the cum began flowing down your thighs.

No doubt in our mind you are real, just need to accept everyone else's place in life

SW_PA_Couple said:

Bitching is a God-given right.

 

We all have to grin and bear it. If swinger's Web sites did not solicit and sell memberships to single males, including the many married cheaters and the socially inept, they would have to make up for the loss in revenue by charging each earnest swinger several hundred dollars a year. When JoAnn and I receive a message from an asshole, we say to ourselves, well, at least he is a paid asshole.

This is a great point!

and Macy... I'm a wife who likes men as well.. I feel your pain!

bradandmacy said:

Yeah, I'm looking for cock, but so many are so aggressive and the replies are so goofy that sometimes I just throw my hands up in the air.

 

They write for Example: So, when can we fuck.

 

#1 . I'd like to fuck you and think your hot. I'm 6'3 200lbs and well hung.

 

#2. Well, it doesn't tell me anything but this guy is goofy if he thinks that I'm just going to go meet up with him. He didn't say anything about his interests sexually or anything..and didn't include a photo. This is what I get 90% of the time.

 

#3. I think swingers sites should include a diagram of what people should put about themselves, and no matter what , they should always have a photo in their profile. Cause' 9x's out of 10 they aren't real anyway if they aren't including a photo. This is what I've always experienced. And...when they don't include a photo, sometimes they are just plain self-conscious. In my opinion, they shouldn't be in the lifestyle to begin with if they are that self-conscious and have their own issues to deal with.

 

I know, I'm a bitch...lol.... but at least I'm truthful.

 

Macy

I just LOVE the guys who email and say clever things such as:

- send me pics. cell 555-5555

Really? THAT is how you chose to introduce yourself?!

Oh the guys who show up dressed like they're ready to do yard work. We experienced that last weekend, dude showed up in a cut-off t-shirt with holes in the collar!!

Wow....

Great thread so far..

To the OP, I am sorry you have encountered the normal instead of the exceptional. I would suggest, re write your profile, to include something along the lines you appreciate the mind as well as the body, and people who can converse literately rather than grunt four word sentences.. And as much as YOU want me to see your cock, I want a HUMAN with a MIND, dildos are available ANYWHERE

Also that rather than get frustrated, come up with a canned answer saved to a file on your computer, the evil person in me says "borrow" some erotic story, LONG story.. that suggest an intimate encounter between you and a generic OVER USE of the word HIM.. and as it gets HOT, stop.. and say SHAME you will never know the reality of this..

Unfortunately the norm is that as a woman, everyone, from couples to the singles will have a HIGH interest in you, and yes, the ones with the pants around the ankles all day are the first to write, and often after spending so many hours with their manhood in their hands their brains turn to jelly.. and they CANT converse on an intelligent level.

And to point out to the folks that feel Charging more for single men would bring a halt to them, it will not work.. they will join as a couple with no info or BS info on the her side, and make excuses..

We play separately..

bradandmacy said:

Yeah, I'm looking for cock, but so many are so aggressive and the replies are so goofy that sometimes I just throw my hands up in the air.

 

They write for Example: So, when can we fuck.

 

#1 . I'd like to fuck you and think your hot. I'm 6'3 200lbs and well hung.

 

#2. Well, it doesn't tell me anything but this guy is goofy if he thinks that I'm just going to go meet up with him. He didn't say anything about his interests sexually or anything..and didn't include a photo. This is what I get 90% of the time.

 

#3. I think swingers sites should include a diagram of what people should put about themselves, and no matter what , they should always have a photo in their profile. Cause' 9x's out of 10 they aren't real anyway if they aren't including a photo. This is what I've always experienced. And...when they don't include a photo, sometimes they are just plain self-conscious. In my opinion, they shouldn't be in the lifestyle to begin with if they are that self-conscious and have their own issues to deal with.

 

I know, I'm a bitch...lol.... but at least I'm truthful.

 

Macy

Hi Macy.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the one who sent those (he says sheepishly).

I personally have never been good with successfully approaching a lady. The situations that have worked out has always been, with one exception, my wife, me being pursued.

It is not always easy for a man to understand how a woman feels. I do try but since apparently I am from Mars, the Universal Translator to Venusian doesn't always get it right?

I just had a woman who called herself suckmytits tell me TFO because she said "I'm no whore". I never suggested that she was. I took it on her word when she said, "I love to be talked dirty to", that she did? Well you guessed it, she didn't. I was lucky to get out of there with my skin...and probably my private parts too.

I did have an experience that might relate in a little way to yours. I was signing a contract with a new customer, a couple, in their kitchen. The wife was waiting for the business to end.

I had noticed that the husband was red in the face and was whispering to her, "what are you doing?" When I looked up she was ga-ga eyed at me and had her hand in her blouse and one in her jeans in her crotch.

She said, "are we finished with business now?" I said "yes". She said "good, I want to suck your cock".

Now the point of telling you this was that even though I loved the idea, the husband was freaking out, and I politely had to say no and make it apparent that it was because of the situation and not that I thought she was unattractive. That was tough to do in so many ways.

The point is under the conditions, it was inappropriate. If she had said we are talking about swinging and we want you to be the first in a MFM, that would definitely had worked.

You just don't write to someone, "wanna' fuck". We all do. There is a decorum that just for courtesy needs to be observed I think.

I personally promise never to do that to you Macy. Hum let me start working on something now...get back to you later?

As a couple who looks for both couples and men, we get a lot of the same replies: dick pics with one line, sometimes just the words "wanna fuck?" I could suggest that those with some writing skills will separate themselves out and make it easy to pick them. But the problem is that writing skills do not necessarily translate into arousal skills in person. We've met those who write well and those who initially responded with but a line. It's frustrating, but sometimes those who haven't real writing skills have real personal skills.

I think the problem is that many of the swingers sites allows many to register on this sites without having to pay any fees giving an opportunity to many fakes out there to engage in this lifestyle. I think all should pay so that would filter out all this fakes.

cpl36996, the problem with that is some sites simply aren't worth the fee. We are in the deep south; swinging is TOUGH here. Paying a monthly subscription or "lifetime" fee just doesn't make sense to us because we STILL got hit by fakers when we did it. I don't know why people would pay to flirt and not show up for meetings, but they do. Paying doesn't make someone legitimate.

If I post an ad, I get about 10 decent responses for every 100 that come in. And of those 10, usually only 1 or 2 end up being sane and respectful.

Their aggression is a problem, but I think the bigger problem is their stupidity. Half the emails I get I delete because they're completely useless.

If there's a Meet & Greet in your area, attend it.

A lot more efficient to meet a dozen couples & singles in a night then wading through "7,500 emails". We met a couple three weeks ago at a M&G. We introduced them to another couple we know. The six of us had a grand time. Funny thing is I don't ever remember seeing their profile before we met. And don't know if they would have interested us just from that profile.

When you meet face to face it's a totally different dynamic. Actions speak much louder than those words do.

This is an age old problem and probably will continue to be that way.

At least the gals have one benefit, and that is they get responses. It's like the opposite side of the guy's coin. Guys will send out a billion messages, and only get a few responses, hoping one of them turns out. Gals will get a billion responses, and hope some of them turn out.

Some gals seem to do it really well though. A former playmate of mine spent a few evenings sending out messages, and then compiled a list. She then "trial ran" the ~10 guys she picked, and organized us into 2 groups. Main group (me and 3 others) were her frequent players who she texted every few days. The other group was if the first 4 didn't pan out for whatever day she was looking.

I came across the list one night while playing with her, we'd become quite familiar so she had me check her phone while she was busy. I saw the groups on her phone, saw my name and recognized a couple other guys on it, didn't know the rest. I laughed, she told me about it, laughed some more.

The odds are that we get about 89% of emails from single males with a single "hook up" type line. I am not flattered to be part of you mass form letter email and generic info you've just sent to 200 others. On the flip side Mr Sav and I met online on a vanilla dating site and do you know that bastard sent me a "mass form letter" the difference was that this time I had reached the breaking point and gave him a come to Jesus meeting for having the nerve to waste my time filling my email box with his copied and pasted crap!!! Lo and Behold no one had ever called him out on it and well lets say the rest is history. We've been together for more than 4 years and stronger than ever. That being said I'm not making exceptions again...you send me a crass email or a damn form letter I'm done long before you've had a chance to begin. Is it a lot of work to get to actually meet someone yes but am I worth the effort Hell Yes .

That being said if what you're doing works for you have at it but if it isn't remember this "If you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always got" ....in this case IGNORED.

Mrs Sav