Does swinging make us better lovers?

Does swinging make us better lovers or do we somehow tend to swing because we're better in bed? Or maybe, we're so bad in bed that we recognize a need for additional practice? Whatcha think...

My opinion is that swinging sex is so different from "making love" that there is no noticeable correlation.

While I definitely acknowledge that there is a difference between swinging sex and making love, I think swinging DOES make us better lovers. After all, practice makes perfect.

Practically speaking, I find that as we swing, we tend to learn more/different techniques, and improve our communication skills.

I also feel that swinging increases the love and desire I already feel for my honey. That can only make it better, right?

=)

As a man I can say swinging made me better in bed as no two women are exactly the same so more practice helps, but based on personal experience and observation people do NOT swing BECAUSE they are better. Some are quite god awful.

From the stories we hear from some of Dave's Soldiers - they could certainly use some lessons in manners and pleasing their wives.

Does it make us better lovers? We think anything that keeps the blood flowing and the interest up and the communication on top makes us better lovers to begin with.

Not to mention all the new ideas that we can come up with from watching and experimenting.

I think it makes us better in so many ways.

I appreciate swinging for making new friends. I think new and quality friends makes me a better person in a way I cant really explain.

I cant say that it makes me a better "lover" as I correlate a lover to passion and emotional sex. I think it gives me the opportunity to try new things with more than one person teaching me new techniques to be a better "play partner"

Watching, experimenting and learning are keys to us becoming better at the lifestyle. The lifestyle is friendship and fun; we learn new ways to meet people, become less anxious to meet someone who is not a perfect match, and learn to weed out bad experiences before they happen.

Yes it makes us better in lots of ways.

Kyle

For us it has seemed to make us better ....well, at lots of things. We feel like once a couple has opened up to the level that we have with each other we can talk about anything...not just sex stuff...but it seems like we tell each other even more than before about our day, our work, our feelings. Hard to explain but sometimes I feel like I can tell him how something made me feel even if it was a "stupid" feeling and he seems to listen more.

And as far as our one on one sex life...it has always been off the charts and fulfilling ...but when we are alone again after being with another couple it just seems like we are closer somehow...it is not that we "learned" any new sex technique....but we are just better and better..

probably does not make much sense cause it is so hard to verbalize these things sometimes.

...people do NOT swing BECAUSE they are better. Some are quite god awful.

Greater truth may never have been spoken!

To answer the question in the OP, yes in theory it SHOULD make us better at sex in general. Just to simplify it, seeing someone do something you never thought of adds a new element to your repertoire. Plus, having to take the time to "figure out" someone else with whom you have little or no experience forces you to expand your horizons in the first place.

Some are quite god awful.

Hear hear! After being in a few playrooms and observing, our own experiences, and hearing other swinger 'horror' stories...I've had the particularly uncharitable thought of "Now I know why he/she wanted to swing..."

Socolais...I see no correlation either, count yourselves lucky if you've had more "wow" than "ugh" experiences.

Most of the responses to date are related to making us better lovers. While that is definately true, what about as people in general. We think it makes a previously shy individual more outgoing. It takes a person who doesn't take much time and effort with their appearance and makes them work at it a little more. It takes a couple who don't communicate well and opens their lines of communication with each other. It keeps a couple who may take each other for granted and makes them cherish every day they are together.

The list of things could go on and on, but we feel these are the highlights

Most of the responses to date are related to making us better lovers. While that is definately true, what about as people in general. We think it makes a previously shy individual more outgoing. It takes a person who doesn't take much time and effort with their appearance and makes them work at it a little more. It takes a couple who don't communicate well and opens their lines of communication with each other. It keeps a couple who may take each other for granted and makes them cherish every day they are together.

 

The list of things could go on and on, but we feel these are the highlights

Those are some very good points!

As a man I can say swinging made me better in bed as no two women are exactly the same so more practice helps, but based on personal experience and observation people do NOT swing BECAUSE they are better. Some are quite god awful.

I have to agree on this one and I KNOW MrsVan would. You would think that folks that have been in the LS for a bit would know at least a few things about pleasing a playmate. Unfortunately, MrsVan has had her share of guys that just can't seem to figure it out. Hell she even has a hood piercing that pretty much directs you to the spot and they still couldn't find it!

-Van

We had one encounter where this couple had supposedly been in the lifestyle for years, however this guy was about as lazy, unskilled and unenthusiastic as you could imagine. He talked a good game (hell, his wife made him sound like a modern day Casanova), but was brutally lousy. It was one time I felt sorry for my wife! LOL Needless to say, I doubt this couple gets much "repeat business" if this was his best work.

But, this is the only instance I can recall of someone being a poor sexual partner. Everyone else has been at least eager to learn if not already capable of the task at hand!

We're better for it. As sweet_tna said...practice makes perfect.

Once we got beyond the mind-blowing excitement of sharing ourselves in such a way, we started looking at the details and studying them.

Mrs. Ekies learned this past Monday night that not all men can take a blow job of the quality that she's becoming famous for like I can. I have a hang-up with coming in a woman's mouth and, as a result, will enjoy a BJ as long as my partner cares to administer. During our conversation about her disappointment with not having the chance to enjoy her partner's large equipment I told her that she needs to be careful with her talents...the poor guy came early and everywhere...and was out for a good while and never recovered enough to get the condom in place.

These are the details that we study to make us better partners for each other and those we chose to share our bed with.

I think we're better now. The improvement is in the details that make for a great experience instead of a good one. I'll take both but would prefer the former and I want and need to leave my partners with a feeling that I was in it for them and me, with the me part being a close second.

Trace

Hell she even has a hood piercing that pretty much directs you to the spot and they still couldn't find it!

Interesting you would say that as that may just be the problem. I know that for me, I like giving some tongue action to that spot on a woman, but I hate sucking on jewelry. So, if a woman has a hood piercing that pretty much eliminates any chances she will get any oral from me.

Does swinging make us better lovers or do we somehow tend to swing because we're better in bed.

 

My opinion is that swinging sex is so different from "making love" that there is no noticeable correlation.

Nope, no correlation at all. Making love is soooooooooo totally different than swinging sex.

Now, to answer the question: We also see no correlation between swinging couples and being better in bed. I wish I was better in bed, but I don't think I am. (Should I admit that?! ) I also don't think swinging makes others better lovers either, unless they're there specifically to learn.

Interesting you would say that as that may just be the problem. I know that for me, I like giving some tongue action to that spot on a woman, but I hate sucking on jewelry. So, if a woman has a hood piercing that pretty much eliminates any chances she will get any oral from me.

Mr. Goodtimes...perhaps I just need clarification on your technique. For me personally (as well as most of the women that I know who talk about their preferences), actually sucking is much too painful and will never bring me to orgasm. However, actually licking it quite superb.

And Mr. Van....your beacon description gave me a mental image that made me lol

Does swinging make us better? How could it not? Where else do friendships and pleasant acquaintances, appealing looks, titillation, seduction, exertion, surprise, release of tension, and laughter before and after - all come together around opportunities to give and take, to look-on or join in?

And life's better in the in-between times (thanks sexylady1970), which is most of the time!

We feel swinging can make people better partners if they want to be, and are seeking to learn and enjoy all kinds of people and play (within each person's boundaries). We have found throughout our experiences those who are willing and eager to learn, those who think they already know everything, and those who are happy with who they are....as they are. And each experience has been unique...some to be repeated and others not to be repeated. Isn't that the fun of it??? Putting yourselves out there to meet people and possibly have a wonderful experience. And even if it's not GREAT.... you can take the good, and not repeat the not-so-good. That's an awesome thing about swinging.... you can chose to not repeat!!!

Hear hear! After being in a few playrooms and observing, our own experiences, and hearing other swinger 'horror' stories...I've had the particularly uncharitable thought of "Now I know why he/she wanted to swing..."

 

Socolais...I see no correlation either, count yourselves lucky if you've had more "wow" than "ugh" experiences.

Ah, but even the bad experiences have their place. For one thing, you learn how to avoid those situations in the first place (better communication, becoming better judges of character, learning to follow our instincts better, etc.).

Granted, it won't change anything for those folks that just "don't get it", but hopefully we learn to bounce back from these experiences and/or make the most of them.

And, not to sound too Pollyanna here, but it helps us to better appreciate the good times.

=)

Swinging definitely improved our sex life. For us, it was learning a lot of new things about the ways people have sex. We translated that into increased pleasure with each other.

For me personally, it taught me to let go of inhibitions with my wife instead of being a bit reserved and uncertain for fear of doing something that she would not like.

Both of those things paid enormous dividends over the years. I think we would have had a ho-hum sex life but for the swinging experiences.

I think we learn new things with each new person we are with, so in a way it does make us better if by nothing other than giving us more practice and more variety.

within each person lies an adventure. It is my desire to share that adventure with them. The way I approach it makes all the difference in what and how I learn.

When we are with another we have an opportunity to further our knowledge of how to please. What works for one may not work for another. We build an arsenal of sexual weapons, if you will.

Each time Mrs. CXXC is with another man/woman, the opportunity to be pleased in a different and even better way is available. Once we are in each others loving arms in our "reclamation’ or ‘re-connect sex", we speak openly and honestly with each other about our latest experiences. We share with one another those activities or techniques that are better. We try to copy those very actions in order to be better lovers for each other. I truly hope and look forward to ANY man/woman who does something better than I do for Mrs. CXXC. It gives me something new to learn and to use to please her.

Does this make us better? How can it not? Any time we learn we are better than before. Any time we are open with each other, we are better than the last conversation as we have more experience and knowledge to share.

In all ways, I feel we are better for the lifestyle than before.

Mr. Goodtimes...perhaps I just need clarification on your technique. For me personally (as well as most of the women that I know who talk about their preferences), actually sucking is much too painful and will never bring me to orgasm. However, actually licking it quite superb.

Perhaps I used the wrong words, but licking jewelry also has the same effect on me as fingernails screeching on a blackboard.

Perhaps I used the wrong words, but licking jewelry also has the same effect on me as fingernails screeching on a blackboard.

Understood.

within each person lies an adventure. It is my desire to share that adventure with them. The way I approach it...

 

...Does this make us better? How can it not? Any time we learn we are better than before. Any time we are open with each other, we are better than the last conversation as we have more experience and knowledge to share.

In all ways, I feel we are better for the lifestyle than before.

Y'all just make my day, and our evening here at the homestead.

PS - a little more of heaven: 30° 18' 15'' N 89° 19' 58'' W (right across the lake)

Y'all just make my day, and our evening here at the homestead.

 

PS - a little more of heaven: 30° 18' 15'' N 89° 19' 58'' W (right across the lake)

Thank you!

However, your Lat/Long point directs me to the middle of nowhere China.

Thank you!

However, your Lat/Long point directs me to the middle of nowhere China.

Ya'll gonna make me break out my GPS?

Heck, I'm showing clitpropoet in St. Louis and CXXC in Benito Juarez, Mexico, but heck, noone ever said Dave can navigate or give directions

According to Google Mine should point you to Desire Spa and Resort in Cancune MX.

I know at least one fellow who, years ago, became a much improved lover after some lessons in tending to a pussy with one's tongue, taught by Mrs. Alura. His wife was so grateful she couldn't say enough about the improvement.

Learning is an important part of life, No?

Mr. Alura

Thank you!

However, your Lat/Long point directs me to the middle of nowhere China.

Oh Lordy, dodge the mountains and gain some altitude quick. Then start back at your little piece of heaven, meander off a few degrees to the west, then paddle straight north until your bottom rubs

Plan on allotta strokes , and take some sun screen.

(It might have been the notation that I used - degrees minutes seconds N-S and E-W. It's old fashioned. Try +30° 18' 15.00", -89° 19' 58.00", which uses the same notation yours?)

I know at least one fellow who, years ago, became a much improved lover after some lessons in tending to a pussy with one's tongue, taught by Mrs. Alura. His wife was so grateful she couldn't say enough about the improvement.

 

Learning is an important part of life, No?

 

Mr. Alura

I can just imagine her competent instruction in this!

I just read a comment in a thread and my mind went off on a tangent. Does swinging make us better lovers or do we somehow tend to swing because we're better in bed. Or maybe, we're so bad in bed that we recognize a need for additional practice. Whatcha think...

 

 

My opinion is that swinging sex is so different from "making love" that there is no noticeable correlation.

Ok.. to answer the question I echo Chiccup, because , PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

But more importantly, one of the coolest things we have had happen since we got into this lifestyle is, we learned things from our playmates.. little things and big things.. Yes swinging sex is different than making love, HOWEVER, the little things we learned along the way, improved our personal playtime.. Between the techniques, and the memories we replay with each other..

I swear, I must live in Boreville. I think we need to get out more often!

While I do agree that one of the reasons we swing is for variety, and every person is different when it comes to sex, I haven't found anyone who I would take lessons from or who has really rocked my world (except Dave). But I also have to add, and I believe that Spoo said it best and I'm just paraphrasing here, "Even the worst sex is better than an hour on Sportscenter." (Or something close to that.)

I swear, I must live in Boreville. I think we need to get out more often!

 

While I do agree that one of the reasons we swing is for variety, and every person is different when it comes to sex, I haven't found anyone who I would take lessons from or who has really rocked my world (except Dave). But I also have to add, and I believe that Spoo said it best and I'm just paraphrasing here, "Even the worst sex is better than an hour on Sportscenter." (Or something close to that.)

Might have to argue that.. The worst sex you've ever had or an hour on sportscenter? That's gotta be pretty darn close.