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Looking4info
04-26-2003, 10:18 AM
Ok I have been reading through others posts looking for information.

I see that "the wedding band" is a highly mentioned topic.

Now are people who are single (such as myself) looked down upon in the swinger community?

Chicup
04-26-2003, 11:51 AM
If you are a male then yes. Single males are not really wanted by a majority of swingers, and this coupled with bad experiances with single males makes most swingers not want single males.

Single females are more welcome since while bi-male swingers are somewhat rare (at least in 'public' no need to start that thread again here) bi females are the norm. Another factor is single males outnumber single females in swinging by some huge number to 1 so they are not much of an issue.

Brit_Pair
04-27-2003, 11:55 AM
I wouldn't claim to be qualified to answer whether or not single men are looked down on in the swinger community, but for all of the reasons Chicup stated above, it does seem that a single male has to offer something special if he is to stand out from amongst his brothers, and stand a chance of being invited to play.

What that something special is, I guess, depends upon what happens to be in demand. Good-looks? Youth? Athletic vigour? A winning personality? A monstrous erection? All of the above?

If nothing else, single men appear to be victim to the natural laws of supply and demand. Best polish up your act(s) if you want to succeed.

OhioCouple
04-27-2003, 04:34 PM
Originally posted by Brit_Pair
I wouldn't claim to be qualified to answer whether or not single men are looked down on in the swinger community, but for all of the reasons Chicup stated above, it does seem that a single male has to offer something special if he is to stand out from amongst his brothers, and stand a chance of being invited to play. I do agree with both Chicup and Brit_Pair, however for us a couple must offer us something special too in order for us to play together. Everyone has a their likes and dislikes and if a couple that we are considering does not exhibit the behavioral attitudes that we seek, then there is no consideration for play.

Lori

Handyman69
04-28-2003, 09:48 AM
I do agree with both Chicup and Brit_Pair, however for us a couple must offer us something special too in order for us to play together. Everyone has a their likes and dislikes and if a couple that we are considering does not exhibit the behavioral attitudes that we seek, then there is no consideration for play.
We have discussed having a MMF ( and this also applies to couples). We must...must enjoy each others communication & company in and out of the bedroom. I'm not saying all four must be the best of friends but all must enjoy talking to anyone of the group, and when talking with our partners, Shows a respect for the spouse in his maner of discussions.

John

Looking4info
04-30-2003, 08:39 PM
The reason I asked s bacause I am going to my first swingers club this friday. I don't want to walk in and get ignored by everyone all night. Im not looking for sex but just doing my research. I was unsure if I should bring a female friend or not.

Nymph an' Satyr
04-30-2003, 10:28 PM
What type of research?

EternallySingle
04-30-2003, 11:50 PM
If you have a female friend who is willing to go with you to a swing club, by all means bring her. In my experience, its not so much that you bring a woman you are romantically involved with, but that you come with a woman who is a friend (and not paid) with you who is willing to participate. As for research, unless you tell everyone up front what you are doing and why, you will not be received well.

Looking4info
05-01-2003, 07:46 AM
Im pretty sure that you all have heard of swappernet.net

My friend and I make and maintain websites for a few swinger organizations.

Swappernet has alot to offer for a monthly membership fee. My friend and I have alot more to offer and for a lower membership fee.

I have been trying to learn and understand swingers and there lifestyle so I would have a better knowlege of the people I would be targeting.

Sence I have been doing my research it has started to appeal to me personaly.

naughty A
05-01-2003, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by Looking4info
My friend and I make and maintain websites for a few swinger organizations.

I have been trying to learn and understand swingers and there lifestyle so I would have a better knowlege of the people I would be targeting.

Sence I have been doing my research it has started to appeal to me personaly.

I trust that you are finding this site extremely valuable. You could just try asking us what we want out of a site?

Are single males discriminated against in the swinger lifestyle - without doubt. Mostly because we've been burned before. I've said it before but... How many times do you get burned before you stop playing with matches? How can you know in advance which single guys are different, honest and genuine. How can you successfully weed them out? Yes I can tell that some of the single guys posting here have the right attitude and are honest and genuine but only because I read what they say on certain things and respect their opinions. But if I was interacting with them on a more personal level how would I be able to tell them from the hundreds of less ethical others out there.

midwestcple4fun
05-01-2003, 03:32 PM
We agree with most of the messages that single men have made a bad name for themselves in many swinger's groups and clubs.

However, we are still interested in single men but we are just very selective. I bet that if your a good guy, it will come through in your letters and meeting all will go well with a couple.

Otherwise, try and find yourself a liberated woman and then you will not have to worry about the single male curse in swinging.

Try www.libchrist.org

OhioCouple
05-01-2003, 08:13 PM
Originally posted by Looking4info
Im pretty sure that you all have heard of swappernet.net

My friend and I make and maintain websites for a few swinger organizations.

Swappernet has alot to offer for a monthly membership fee. My friend and I have alot more to offer and for a lower membership fee.

I have been trying to learn and understand swingers and there lifestyle so I would have a better knowlege of the people I would be targeting.

Sence I have been doing my research it has started to appeal to me personaly. Shane, I can admire your zeal for wanting to create a better Swingers website for others and naturally you must start somewhere. However I do have some observations here.

Between your introductions and the other threads you have started, you have stated that you are 18 years of age, that you will be attending a club this Friday (tomorrow) and now you are doing research as you and a friend feel you have a lot more to offer for a lower membership fee than some of the major swinging sites out there.

I've never heard of a swingers club that will allow admittance to an 18 year old. I do believe that in all states you must be 21 years of age to be in any adult only establishment that serves alcohol or where alcohol is present.

I find it rather hard to believe that you and your friend have built and set up adult "swinger" websites (based on your age). Not impossible I'm sure, but highly unlikely. Building a website and building adult websites are two entirely differnt things. I am sure there are many legalities involved in which at your age, you would not have the awareness of.

I happen to be very familiar with Swappernet and we paid less than $100.00 for a lifetime membership in which we have received more than we ever expected out of it. So they do have other options than a monthly payment.

I am really confused Shane as to what your reasoning is here on this board, it seems to change with your postings in each thread.

Lori

naughty A
05-01-2003, 08:23 PM
Originally posted by OhioCouple
Between your introductions and the other threads you have started, you have stated that you are 18 years of age, that you will be attending a club this Friday (tomorrow) and now you are doing research as you and a friend feel you have a lot more to offer for a lower membership fee than some of the major swinging sites out there.

Nice to see someone is paying attention Lori - Can't believe I missed this so completely.

Thanks - Naughty A.

OhioCouple
05-01-2003, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by naughty A
Nice to see someone is paying attention Lori - Can't believe I missed this so completely. I have no life Naughty A...can't ya tell... :rolleyes:

Lori

Roxysbayou
05-01-2003, 09:36 PM
:confused: I couldn't help but have the same thought! How can someone who knows so little about swinging be running a swingers website!

naughty A
05-02-2003, 07:19 AM
Originally posted by OhioCouple
I have no life Naughty A...can't ya tell... :rolleyes:
Lori
and I am hopelessly naive... I still think you are better off with that failing than I am with mine.

Roxy's

I couldn't help but have the same thought! How can someone who knows so little about swinging be running a swingers website!
What can I say, I was taking what he said at face value and thought that it was working the same way so many others do. One person is paid to do the programming/web design and the paying client determines the content/direction of the site.

:o naive, naive, hopelessly naive

I never connected the 2 postings (the 18yr old with the programmer) until Lori brought it up.

And no wonder why I stopped playing with matches... it is too easy to take advantage of me.
Naughty A.:o

EternallySingle
05-02-2003, 07:30 AM
In his defense, I also write computer programs and design websites on the side. I never attempt to design a site without checking out the business so I can see how it runs and can make the content of the site relevent to the personality of the business or activity. Didn't he say while he was researching it he became interested? Maybe I misread his post.

OhioCouple
05-02-2003, 08:22 AM
Originally posted by EternallySingle
Didn't he say while he was researching it he became interested? Maybe I misread his post. Actually he said:

My friend and I make and maintain websites for a few swinger organizations. Swappernet has alot to offer for a monthly membership fee.

My friend and I have alot more to offer and for a lower membership fee.
I just have a hard time believing that an eighteen year old is building websites for adults. As I said though, not entirely impossible. But the question here is if you have access, (which I am guessing that you would if you are a builder and maintainer of adult sites) then you would probably already have a lot of background knowledge about the service you are performing. How can you provide a service that would appease the owner if you know nothing about it? How can you have more to offer for a lower membership fee if you know nothing about it?

I am just as confused as you are. Only Shane can solve that mystery for us.

Lori

OhioCouple
05-02-2003, 08:28 AM
Originally posted by naughty A

And no wonder why I stopped playing with matches... it is too easy to take advantage of me. :rofl: I'm in the same boat your in. Nice thing about it though is that at least we are surrounded by water. You can either put out the flame quickly or drown yourself. I like having those options.... :lol:

Lori

naughty A
05-02-2003, 08:36 AM
DROWN MYSELF ! :lol:

now there's an option...:lol:

Flori_DAMAN
05-02-2003, 10:08 AM
I have seen many 18-21 year olds at swinging clubs. The normal minimum is 21, but many allow 18. You can't buy liquor until you are 21, but I believe adult oriented material is most accesible legally to any 18 year old. It falls into the same category as cigarettes.

COncerning web developement there are 12 year olds doing fine jobs.

Im not sure I follow all of this, maybe I missed something, but it appeared to me that the guy was just researching this sight to offer an alternative to swappernet. The name itself is outdated and they keep peoples adds on even after you cancel. They charge an exhorbitant amount of money and if a 18 year old entrepreuner thinks he can challenge them or create a niche i say more power to him.

mho, John

EternallySingle
05-02-2003, 06:53 PM
Everything falls into place. He makes and maintains the websites FOR SEVERAL SWINGER ORGANIZATIONS. Thats the same as an outside accounting firm maintaining the books for a small to medium sized business. For whatever reason, someone at a swing club decided they trusted this kid and his friend to maintain their site and not go all apeshit because of what they do. He, by virtue of updating their information, became interested in it and wants to learn more so he can make one that works well and cost less than others he's seen. Take a step back and ask yourself this: If the post had been made by a couple or a man or woman in their forties, would anyone have done anyting except make suggestions? I think the evil "suspect the single man's intention" reflex surfaced once again. Hey, its a reflex action thats been ingrained in us by Western European society for over 1000 years and its not limited to swingers. Even us single men are guilty of letting it slip out when dealing with each other. Its just that those in the lifestyle, because of the need for discretion, display it more readily.

OhioCouple
05-02-2003, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by EternallySingle
Take a step back and ask yourself this: If the post had been made by a couple or a man or woman in their forties, would anyone have done anyting except make suggestions? I think the evil "suspect the single man's intention" reflex surfaced once again. Eternally, I did take a step back before I posted my first response to this thread. Please note the original posting by Shane.



Hello everyone, this is my first time ever comming to a swingers website.

My names is Shane and im 18 (will be 19 May 10th)

The main reason whe I am here is to seek out infromation about the swinger lifestyle. I have been interested in swinging for about 2 years but my girlfriend in that time was totally against the idea. Well unfortunatly we broke up last week so I have decided to start trying to get a better grasp of what a swinger is.

From what I understand a coupple that swings means that they are togather but at the same time are alloud to see other people. Im not sure if that is exactly the case so if anyone wants to clairify that for me please feel free..... You can read the entire thread here (http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4459 )
I honestly can't see where anyone has initiated the 'single male' reflex or did not try to offer suggestions or ask for clarification. Please review the other thread in it's entirety and go to the other link provided there. I think you'll find that everyone has been more than helpfull for the most part.

Lori

EternallySingle
05-03-2003, 12:28 AM
But I still say the whole change in attitude was drastic and it bothered me how fast some of you went from offering him advice to asking how he could be running a swinger website being 18 and having no experience swinging. I tried to point out that he wasn't running, but maintaining websites, which is different. Maintaining a site is like doing accounting. It helps to know the business, but not neccessary. The fact that he wants to learn should have been more important than his age. I do believe he might be too young to get involved in swinging, but I was just a little older than looking4info when I got involved with swinging. Maybe that makes me more sympathetic to what he is saying.

LarrySmith
05-13-2003, 11:00 AM
I do computer work for a living (some web, some system admin, some database, some programming) and I can tell you that website are not that hard, expecially for "special Interests". The really hard part is the artistic part of the design.

First you pick a catchy name that can be morphed into an available URL.
Add a message board and/or chat room.
Decide and implement a way for users to register, and restrict certain features to registered users.
Finally, add a feedback posting for comments on enhancements to the site. The users will mold the site with their suggestions.

And, to make it look popular and well visited, kluge a smattering of postings &, profiles. (WOULD ANY REPUTABLE SITE REALLY DO THAT?)

Sorry, I found myself on that soapbox again. I better get down before the altitude gives me a nosebleed.

JustAskJulie
05-13-2003, 01:46 PM
Originally posted by OhioCouple
Actually he said:
I just have a hard time believing that an eighteen year old is building websites for adults. As I said though, not entirely impossible. But the question here is if you have access, (which I am guessing that you would if you are a builder and maintainer of adult sites) then you would probably already have a lot of background knowledge about the service you are performing. How can you provide a service that would appease the owner if you know nothing about it? How can you have more to offer for a lower membership fee if you know nothing about it?

I am just as confused as you are. Only Shane can solve that mystery for us.

Lori

Actually Lori, it's not that uncommon at all. I know people who got into this business at 18 and were millionares by the time they were 20. It wouldn't surprise me if there are kids younger than that building adult websites without their parents knowledge and making good money at it.

I started my first adult website at barely 21, only because I didn't have a computer until then.

My understanding was also that Shane was the programmer building the site for a friend who is a swinger (I could be wrong) and he wanted to research the lifestyle for himself so that he understood it better to better design the site. I wish the programmer I hired to do the ads section here when we had one had taken that angle, I might have ended up with a better product that was still working properly.