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lou lou

What is the etiquette when two couples get a hotel room for swinging?

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We have meet a couple one time at a bar/hotel and they paid for the room.

 

We are hoping to meet the same couple again at the same place and want to make sure we pay this time.

 

Is this something We should bring up before ? Or do we go ahead and get the room like they did last time. Just want to be fair but not end up with two rooms LOL

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I would go ahead and make the reservations and pay, and let them know that it is all taken care of. If something changes when you talk, you can always change the reservation.

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Agreed, I'd just let them know you've taken care of the hotel reservation this time. If the concern is about whether playtime will happen this time or not, then just frame it as you guys getting the room in case everything works out well again. Though, since you've played once already and are all wanting to meet again I don't see why playing wouldn't happen.

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I agree with the others, I'd just go ahead and make the reservation and let them know upfront that you've taken care of it.

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Yup, as others have said, reserve the room. To me, it's your turn. If for some reason the other couple wants to chip in, just let them know that they can get the next one. It's only fair.

 

Good luck!

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lou lou said:

We have meet a couple one time at a bar/hotel and they paid for the room.

We are hoping to meet the same couple again at the same place and want to make sure we pay this time.

 

Paying for the hotel next time around is good etiquette. I'm sure they will appreciate your offer.

 

You mention that you are hoping to meet the same couple again. Sounds like you "hope" things will fall into place on their own, but aren't sure. Why wonder when you can know for sure and then make plans accordingly?

 

Others have suggested you make the reservations and then let them know. I'd switch that to LET THEM KNOW you want to get together with them - see if they want to meet you again to play - THEN MAKE THE RESERVATIONS if they say yes.

 

You have played with them before so they won't be surprised to hear from you. When you contact them to get together, let them know where you want to meet, and that you will pay for the room this time. They'll know when you mention getting a room that you want to play. If they don't want to meet/play, they'll decline.

 

No need to reserve a room if you won't need it.

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The hope is that we meet as we have arranged, but they like us are very busy with kids and work. So sometime plans don't work out. We should hear from them next week to confirm the date.

 

Thanks for the replies. Once we get confirmation that we will meet as planned, we will go ahead and arrange the room and let them know that we have taken care of it.

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Hypothetically, say you want to meet another couple at an upstanding hotel for a romp. Does the hotel mind if 2 people rent the room and are joined by 2 other visitors? Do they look at you funny if all 4 check in at the same time? Or do 2 check in and two arrive later?

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The hotel doesn't care, so long as you don't make a mess or generate noise complaints. I've checked in solo, checked in with several people, and gone up to join people who had checked in earlier. What would make you comfortable?

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I work in a hotel. Here is our policy, which may be similar to many but not necessarily the same:

 

Any room can have as many people as the max occupancy, whether paid guests or visitors. A single king room (2 in K bed), with a pullout (2 on the pullout) can have 4 people. If they all choose to stay in the king bed, who cares.

 

Now, when a group checks in like say a sports team or a large family, and occupies several rooms, we don't bother trying to monitor who goes where. As long as the room isn't damaged and the noise level isn't a problem, they can sort their own way.

 

To avoid a problem (I'm assuming that you're not going to generate noise complaints), the easiest path is to just not raise any questions. Have the person with the reservation check in, receive keys and directions to the room, and then relay these to the other guests.

 

The hotel mostly doesn't care or want to know about your private life, and not raising any questions is the best way to keep it that way.

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I've rented rooms for 4 and I've rented rooms for 15. I don't think I've ever bothered to tell the hotel my plans for how many would be expected that night.

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Most motels/hotels don't mind visitors but they do become agitated over overnight non paying guests. Check in early, have your guests visit, play and leave before midnight. If you want an allnighter or weekend experience pay for 4.

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The right thing to do is pay for 4. We have done that several times when we have bought the room. No one really cares till there is a problem. A lamp gets knocked over or one of the guests gets a little loud and then we have to deal with the management or worse the cops. I like to avoid trouble when we can.. When we ask for a room I always say to the clerk. Please book us a room that is far away from everyone else. Ninety percent of the time that works and we get a room far from every one else in the hotel. We pay for who is using the room and so on and so fourth.

 

Good luck

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If we really feel we are going to sleep with a couple, then we have the room usually bought early (at least booked).

 

If you check in at 2 am and have been drinking, look like trouble then they might look at the four of you cross eyed but really, they never ask. If they did, I would really be surprised unless you are at a resort because most rooms are sold with an "up to" occupancy but I agree with 81lizard69 that if they did ask you to pay then do so by all means pay.

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