View Full Version : Where Are All The Bi Men?

10-07-2008, 01:24 PM
My husband is finally home from his month long business trip and i've been showing him all the different swinger stuff that I found online. We were looking through profiles on SLS and one thing my husband noticed right away is that there are very few bi-sexual men. My husband is bi-sexual so we would want a bi couple. Almost all of the women had bi-sexual or bi-curious on their profile, but we didn't find any couples in our area where the man was listed as bi-sexual.

Is this a common problem?

10-07-2008, 02:47 PM
Have you tried doing a search just for bi-men, so you can eliminate looking at profiles you are not interested in?

We have a few bi-men that comment on different threads here. So they are out there.

10-07-2008, 06:29 PM
We have seen a few on SLS that had bi-men. Male bisexuality is still not as widely accepted as female bisexuality. There is still a lot homophobia running around through the swing clubs across the US. It seems like double standards because males accepts females bisexuality and even encourage bisexuality in females but then turn right around and condemn male bisexuality. Even today there are still homosexual/bisexual males hides their sexuality because of prosecution from their peers and coworkers. In the famous words of what’s his face “ Can’t we all just get along” .

10-07-2008, 06:39 PM
No, I haven't done that yet. I'll have to give that a try. I could tell my husband was a little dissapointed when he was looking through profiles and wasn't finding any men who were listed as bi-curious or bi-sexual. Perhaps there are more out there, but they just don't want to admit it?

good times
10-07-2008, 06:44 PM
Well, while we are seeing a lot more bi guys at the clubs lately, it still is not accepted enough for guys to be to open about it. The reason you don't see it listed much on SLS is because if the guys who were bi did so, very few or none of the couples with straight males would ever agree to meet them.

10-10-2008, 08:39 AM
Finding a couple where both are bi is darn near impossible. We are both bi but tend to go towards MMF situations where the other male is bi. She is extremly turned on by it so it works for us. Would she love a bi situation for her..YES! Just harder to come by.

10-10-2008, 08:59 AM
If bi-male activity is something you two really want to happen, then make sure it is listed this way in your SLS profile.

You aren't going to get any bites from the couples that are in no way interested in this. No big deal, since it helps you weed through the profiles anyway.
However, based on what I've read in the past from other couples on here with bi-males, you'll be surprised at the number of hits you get from couples where the male is listed as straight in the profile, but is actually interested in bi play.

10-10-2008, 03:08 PM
The problem with two4's approach, in MHO, is that it announces to the swinging world that Jk's guy is bi (or should that be gi is bi?). That's the thing that inhibits all bi guy couples from advertising. There is so much homo-phobia out there that when most straight (or bi gal only) couples see that, there's not any chance that they will reply in the positive.

What I'm trying to say is that announcing your bi-sexuality limits your potential couples to bisexual guy couples only. And, like the name bi implies, you might want to play with couples where there is no guy-guy activity as well. If this is not the case, then go ahead and declare yourself as bi and interested in bi guys.

Like has been said, you'll get more attention than you could imagine. There's a ton of bi and bi curious guys out there just hoping someone will declare their inclinations but are afraid to do so themselves.

10-10-2008, 03:40 PM
I just did a search on SLS for couples (with Pictures) with bi-men in the 90001 zip code (Los Angeles) since your profile lists on the West Coast. I received 126 profiles that matched. Same search with or without pictures was 268 matches. I am sure those number will go down depending on the size of the town you are looking at.

So depending on where you are at there are bi-men out there.

10-11-2008, 02:01 PM

Well, I have 'bi' in my profile, and I'm constantly getting queries (queer ease?) from men who have "straight" on their profile.


10-11-2008, 03:07 PM
i know have str on my profile to. any one in md hit me up see what we can get into

10-11-2008, 07:24 PM
We are a member of an all bi site. Not sure of the rules and whether I can mention it here...but do a search on google for bisexual swingers. If you want to know the site we belong to...pm me :)


10-25-2008, 03:21 PM
hi--bi cpl here

Two Sun Bunnies
07-13-2009, 06:35 AM
Another bi couple here too! :facelick:

07-15-2009, 03:09 PM
As a bi male I can assure you there are other bi people out there. I am divorced from a bi woman, and we played together with others we found on the net. There is however a hell of a lot of paranoia about M2M sex. It usually involves the "gay lifestyle". This absurdity usually assumes that M2M sex involves a lot of reckless unprotected sex with rampant STDs and yes the "big A". Nothing could be further from the truth. Keep looking and you will find what you seek.

08-19-2009, 07:57 AM
I'm a bisexual man. When I first got involved in swinging a decade and a half ago there was a huge amount of stigma associated with any male-male contact. Remnants of the hysteria from the 80s and the usual homophobia. I've watched swinging over the years and today, while there are still people who have the homophobia and there's still a lot of stereotyping, there's a lot more acceptance of male bisexuality, especially among swingers in their 20s and 30s.

It used to bother me, this stereotyping and hysteria. As I matured though, I stopped caring what ignorant folks think and pretty much came to terms with the fact that the kinds of people I prefer to associate with are people who take the time to think about things and to accept other people for what they are. As a result, my friends are all over the political spectrum and run the gamut from completely gay to completely straight. But they all accept other people for who they are.

I also came to terms with the fact that everyone else has the right to decide who they want to associate with, and if my being bisexual means they don't want to associate with me, that's ok. Really ok, not just sour grapes.

And, just so there's some balance, my being bisexual means that I take the same level of precaution I do with women as I do with men. I've watched many straight swingers who use no protection whatsoever with numerous partners. I've had few partners and practice safer sex with all of them. Who's a bigger risk?

Swinging is, socially, about mostly middle class heterosexual sex with some female-female exploration and some very discreet male-male exploration. Being involved with swinging I accept that. But I'm not going to hide who I am. I'm respectful of other people's boundaries, and if someone, male or female, doesn't want me to touch them while we're playing as a group, I'm not going to.


08-19-2009, 08:09 AM
*waves hand* Bisexual man here, not afraid to admit it! :)

I also don't care if people aren't interested in me because of it, everyone has a right to be attracted to whomever they wish for whatever reasons they wish. Swinging is about middle-class mostly heterosexual sex and I accept that. I'm not out to collect trophies anyway, when I swing I prefer to do it with friends, and a friend is someone who accepts us for what we are, even when there are differences. I have to play straight in my day to day life, I refuse to do it around friends. If I know a guy is straight and not interested, I'm not going to do things to make him uncomfortable, just as I would with a woman who wasn't interested in me. I will comment on the number of "straight" men who want to explore ;)


08-19-2009, 12:06 PM
Bi-guy in Oregon checking in!

I suspect the volume of profiles out there which read "Our man is totally strait, so no Bi men, sorry" has allot to do with the scarcity of advertised bisexual men on the sites. If I were merely Bi-Curious (a term that makes me laugh when people keep it up for years, figure it out already!) I too might find it easier to just list myself as straight to keep incoming invites at a maximum, and then pursue my bi-curiosity on an "I'm instigating" basis. The numbers just seem to work better that way.

As for those who advertise "no Bi men" on their profiles, I cant say I don't care, but my caring isnt in an "Oh my, why are they rejecting my peeps" sort of way. It's more of a curious "(chuckle), what do they think will happen if they play with a bi guy? Do they really think we're going to see his throbbing manhood, loose control and leap onto it mouth first like a lamprey and have to be pulled off with a pry bar?" sort of way.

08-22-2009, 07:15 AM
I get WAY to many Married cheating Bi males trying to get me to have sex with them. It's so annoying! It's much more fun being open about it and having their wives join in the fun....

08-27-2012, 09:35 PM
Totally bi guy here... Very guy next door type guy, pretty regular good looking white male, young and healthy and open minded. Can play both ways or + on + only... Also into watching and open minded about all sorts of stuff.

05-15-2013, 01:15 PM
I've noticed the same thing on SLS!!! Seems like ONLY the females are bi/curious however! I got to thinking and posted an ad looking for a bi guy and you'd be SHOCKED how many will respond to say they are bi or curious and have straight in their profile!!!!!!! So frustrating!

05-15-2013, 07:11 PM
I've noticed the same thing on SLS!!! Seems like ONLY the females are bi/curious however! I got to thinking and posted an ad looking for a bi guy and you'd be SHOCKED how many will respond to say they are bi or curious and have straight in their profile!!!!!!! So frustrating!

There are men willing to play with other men in the context of swinging or are curious about doing so, but are not willing to commit to the identification of bi/curious. There are also couples who will never, ever (in the Taylor Swift sense) play with men who admit to having had a dick in their mouth, even when the wife is enthusiastically bi and when the other man is more than willing to play it straight. You can be frustrated if you want, but changing the tide will require something more proactive.

Mr. Doe lists himself as either bi-curious or bi-comfortable, even though having tried it convinced him he's not actually interested in men, because he wants to keep his options open. I suspect if more men were that openly fluid, regardless of sexual identity, then the double standard would ease considerably.

05-16-2013, 03:22 AM
Mr. Doe lists himself as either bi-curious or bi-comfortable, even though having tried it convinced him he's not actually interested in men

I think that a lot of the couples who list the wife as bi-curious do it for the same reason. It's not that the wife is really that interested in being with the other wife, it's just that she isn't objectionable to it. And it sure does make for more possibilities with the other couples. I think that a lot of us husbands are the same way about bisexuality. If we're with a couple then we would much prefer playing with the other wife. But if an activity involved playing with the other husband too then it's not something we'd mind. There should be a category that says 'not at all homophobic'!

02-01-2014, 07:58 PM
We are a member of an all bi site. Not sure of the rules and whether I can mention it here...but do a search on google for bisexual swingers. If you want to know the site we belong to...pm me :)


What is the name of the site ????

02-12-2014, 03:00 AM
Totally bi here. LOVE hot, sweaty guy on guy sex ALMOST as much as being with a beautiful woman. Ready to get back into swinging and guys. It's been a while.

02-12-2014, 03:04 AM
Fully bisexual couple over here.

02-12-2014, 10:21 AM
DH is bi-curious, and I am honored that we have developed our relationship to the point where he can share that with me.
We have come to the realization that we won't find any joy in that regard at any of the swingers events we attend. So I've 'convinced' him to attend a party at the sex positive group in the city. They have a lot of bdsm events, which aren't our cup of tea, but also have other things going on. The party we're going to is masturbation friendly, where anything can and is encouraged to happen. :)
This group also has life drawing once a month....yaay! $5 donation, you can't beat that! :D