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mervsmom97

Note to self... Clear the area before using sex swing

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Clear all furniture from the area before using your sex swing.

Last night the Mr and I got out our swing and hooked it up to the eye hook we have in the ceiling. We've done it a hundred times like this before with no problems. Until I sustained a sex related injury, lol. We were going at it pretty hot and heavy and I leaned back so that I was mostly upside down (the head rush I get when I come back upright causes and immediate orgasm). So here I am hanging upside down while my hubby is pounding on me hard. All of a sudden, BANG! Ouch! I whacked my forehead on a little table that is in the room. Knocked over the lamp, lube and our beverages.

Took me a second to shake it off, hurt like hell. Then we laughed our asses off. I saw stars last night, for all the wrong reasons. :headbang: LMAO

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:lol: That's hysterical! Sorry for the bumps and bruises, but wow! "I can see stars Eddie!"

 

Then the questions at work the next day, "Where did you get THAT bruise from????" :lol:

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:bricks: (*laughing*) ... nothing quite like the disappointment one feels when your gal is screaming & going "Oh... OH! OH!" and you discover it's only 'cuz her head is bouncing off some hard object and NOT 'cuz you're such a manly man and making her toes curl!

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Great now because of this all sex swings will come with a warning label:

 

Caution. Protective headgear must be worn while using this swing.

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I do have to ask if you filed a report with your Homeowner's Insurance?

 

"I'm sorry Mrs. Mervsmom.... how did you sustain your property loss again?"

 

 

 

(on a totally unrelated note, "Dear Insurance Underwriters Quarterly: I never thought it would happen to me....")

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LOL. I'm glad you all enjoy my misery! Yes, he did stop thrusting until I recovered, and then he had to wait until we stopped laughing!

 

UPDATE: We have now moved the swing to a new beam in our ceiling. I can swing in any direction without fear of crashing into something :D

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There was a sex swing in the swinger's club that we go to. We was planing on using it but a large BBW got into the swing and rip it out of the ceiling. The club never did put it back up. We do have plans on getting one for our personal use in the near future.

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we always want to get one of these but couldn't figure out how to explain to the kids why we have hooks hanging from the ceiling. They have one at the clubs we go to but it is right out in front of everything and pretty close to the front door. A little intimidating to say the least. But yes move the furniture before using next time.

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we have ours in our finished basement. It has a suspended ceiling so when we want to use our swing we just push a ceiling tile out of the way and the eye hook is screwed into a post. Works really well. We have the swing hidden in a closet. Our 5 year old saw it one day, we told her it was some of Daddy's workout equipment, hehehe.

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we have ours in our finished basement. It has a suspended ceiling so when we want to use our swing we just push a ceiling tile out of the way and the eye hook is screwed into a post. Works really well. We have the swing hidden in a closet. Our 5 year old saw it one day, we told her it was some of Daddy's workout equipment, hehehe.

 

Clever, I will remember that as soon as we have a house that has a basement.

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we have ours in our finished basement. It has a suspended ceiling so when we want to use our swing we just push a ceiling tile out of the way and the eye hook is screwed into a post. Works really well. We have the swing hidden in a closet. Our 5 year old saw it one day, we told her it was some of Daddy's workout equipment, hehehe.

 

One of our local swinger clubs has a complicated sex chair. It was donated by a member whose kids got old enough to realize that the cover story of it being a weight machine wasn't working anymore!

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we always want to get one of these but couldn't figure out how to explain to the kids why we have hooks hanging from the ceiling.

 

I was just wondering this myself...

 

Could you maybe hang something from the hook in the ceiling... like a houseplant or something?

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Ouch!

 

 

Um, hubby did stop thrusting until you recovered, didn't he? :D

 

Ok, now that reminds me of a Bill Engvall cd we have. While they are hot and heavy the wife begins moaning loudly. Bill says "Yes Ma'am, you are welcome!". Wife says "Oww, no, you're on my hair, get off, get off!!!".

 

And we too have talked about the sex swing, and our idea was also to just hang some kind of houseplant when not in use.

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If you do the installation right, you should be able to hide the hook and chain above the ceiling with a small cap in the ceiling.

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