Christian couple, how we started with swinging.

Did the title take you back a bit? Christian couple? Christian's have long been thought of as folks who don't swing, right? Well, we believed that lie too, for a long time, because of the lies some claiming to be knowledgeable of what scripture really says. We found out different. We've also joined a yahoo group of Liberated Christians, Christians just like us who have found having sex with the full knowledge of your spouse is NOT Biblical Adultery.

We are a normal, white married couple in our early 50's that have always been very comfortable with nudity. About 10 years ago we became close friends with a couple from church (yes, we are still very active in church), and went on some trips with them where there was hot tubs. Then they bought one and we started tubbing a lot with them. They talked about tubing nude when no one was around and one night when it was dark we all got nude after getting in the tub. This went on for several months, then the lady laid a 'guilt trip' on us by saying she was going to leave her suit on since she was a Sunday School teacher. It made us feel awful, like we had been doing something wrong when neither of us felt that way. We had chatted with some nudists on-line and met a couple, and we went on a weekend outing with them to the Smokies, staying in a cabin with a hot tub. The 4 of us spent most of the entire time naked: it was great fun. Nothing between us but each night the sex with spouse was great. We later lost contact with them. We then tried nude resorts and liked all but 1 in TN where we live: it was very 'stuck up', but we loved the 2 we've been to in Florida. Anyway, we've been married over 30 years and things sometimes get a little dull because of work, kids, etc.

So, about 2 years ago we found SwingLifeStyle.com and created an account. We were really looking for just other nudist couples in our area. We found a lot of folks are all talk, but a few were nice. We had reservations about doing anything except a little soft swinging, and that would have been limited to watching/being watched, some rubbing or kissing, but we knew we weren't going to do the full swap. Church folks don't do that, right? Old teachings die hard, but we knew when we were at nude resorts and with other folks nude, there was no sense of shame and guilt, only the time the lady laid the guilt trip on us by taking a 'holier than thou' attitude. We found out different.

We met a couple from a nearby town and met at a restaurant. We seemed to click immediately. About the same age and sizes, and a lot of common interests. We chatted a lot online and it took over a year for us to work up the courage to invite them to our house. We tubbed nude and had a wonderful time. They were very patient with us. We started kissing and feeling up each other's spouses and it was good, real good. That night we just got on beds with the other's spouse and kissed and hugged, but my wife got lucky and the other fellow did oral on her: durn, she said that wasn't gonna happen so I was a good boy and didn't do it on the lady I was with. The other lady made me feel so young: it was like I was back in college and for an early 50's man, that means a lot. Not surprisingly, after they left and wife and I talked, neither of us felt any shame or guilt. I've always believed if something is really wrong, our consciencious (or God's Spirit living in us) will convict us, and there was no conviction. So we were hooked. The next time we got together it was in a hotel with 2 beds, not much really happened then either but some great kissing/hugging/massage. Third time was charm: we both did a full swap, and again - NO GUILT AT ALL. It was just like we were 'doing it together'. There was no secrecy, no going behind anyone's back, no betrayal of trust. It just left us wanting more.

Then, we all went out of town for a long weekend and stayed in a motel with interconnecting rooms, and each spent the night with the other's spouse. We had the most enjoyable time, sex like we were in college again. Since then we usually meet just about every weekend and plan on continuing. Don't think right now we'll try to find anyone else and the other couple feels the same, so it's probably more of polyamory than swinging, but the aspect of swinging/having sex with another couple is what got it all started.

And the most amazing benefit: wife and I can't get enough of each other just like we were newlyweds.

So, if you're a couple thinking of trying swinging, go for it. It's well worth it.

Someone needs a name change on the board

Love it. Went though a lot of the same, then realized it was done together and in love. Been doing this for 10 years now, and still feel like we are "good' people. Besides, according to an ABC poll a few years ago, this is much more prevalent among "conservatives", then " liberals" ( the wording they used on the poll)

Isn't it great when sane, sober, respectfull and responsible consenting adults can get past the dogma and indoctrination and actually take responsibility for their own sexualities?

Society and religion says it must be wrong, therefore it is. Or so the dogma preaches.

But, thinking, rational beings have an obligation to not be lemmings, and gain truth and wisdom from all around us for things that are important to us. Else, we're never fully actualized.

It's fantastic you had such a great time (and still are)!

Congrats...I've heard of a Christian Adult bookstore here in Jersey. I've never been to it, but I plan to get there sooner than later.

Your journey is very encouraging. Thanks for sharing.

Hey, I can't think of any religious experience more powerful than sex!

Isn't it great when sane, sober, respectfull and responsible consenting adults can get past the dogma and indoctrination and actually take responsibility for their own sexualities?

It sure is. My wife is still going through the Christian brainwashing thing, telling herself it's wrong to like this lifestyle.

I try to tell her it is nothing wrong with it.

She struggles with it and we haven't even had our first experience yet.

If sex is not mandated from above, why do we yell "Oh my God" so much?

We are in the boat where the wife is "dogged" by the dogma. She has been willing to do soft swing with the right people but refuses to go all the way. I see no issue with it at all but will run at her pace. When she feels right, it may happen. We have had a couple folks over that we found were atheist, needless to say, they did not stay long by our choice.

We wonder to if there are many "conservative" swingers like us but I know there are. We are trying to build a group of them on SLS and it only took a couple days to find some members so we know you are out there.

We "may be" sinners but we "know" we are forgiven.

That is AWESOME!!I so respect your faith and ability to be free with each other and desire and well...I love it.I am rooted in Christianity, I go to Church(Catholic was raised...)I also have a yen for the eastern thought Buddhism and Taoist philosophy,and I so have trouble separating from my spiritual self and physical self.I sometimes feel that I am on a darker path, but reading your words puts new hope in my heart that your vision has shown that swinging and religion are not incompatible.I have always felt an incredible sense of grace, that I am in God's light, that my faith though is sometimes only a soft glow, never is snuffed out.OK I am going to stop here because this is , like, wierd for me lol.I am expounding too much-

P

Hey, I can't think of any religious experience more powerful than sex!

AMEN!

then the lady laid a 'guilt trip' on us by saying she was going to leave her suit on since she was a Sunday School teacher.

See, that is why I think that there should be a world wide law that makes any form of organized religon illigal!

First off, Great thread!! Second, Religon being the hot point it is.. Who woulda thunk it, lol

I dont agree with Malachista, Its my firm belief Robin Williams got it right.. GOD is the greatest jokester in the history of the universe.. What divine IRONY is it, placing a pleasure recreation area so close to a waste disposal site?

tn,

Thanks for sharing. I agree with you.

People think that dening themselves is the greats way to please God. But I think enjoying God's creation with a thankful heart is what pleases God most!

dayhiker

Hey, it's tn_softswing2 again. After all the searching we did, we found out we had what we had been looking for all along: EACH OTHER. And that's enough. Take care all.........

Hey, it's tn_softswing2 again. After all the searching we did, we found out we had what we had been looking for all along: EACH OTHER. And that's enough. Take care all.........

tn_softswing2, what does this mean? Did you decide lifestyle isn't for you? Please come back and share, if you're able.

We have had a couple folks over that we found were atheist, needless to say, they did not stay long by our choice.

Why "needless to say?" What was wrong with them? The cloven hooves putting runs in the stockings? And honestly, why does religious belief even come up as a topic when meeting potential sexual playmates? I don't get it.

Oh well, to each his own. Personally, religious beliefs aren't exactly at the top of the list when it comes to selecting partners. (Full disclosure: I consider myself a pagan) I won't even mention politics when chatting up a new couple, and believe me, that matters a lot more to me.

I agree - politics and religion should stay out of all conversations! My kids and I are very involved in our church - we volunteer every Sunday at 5am! So my husband and I usually leave Friday nights for date night. Once in a while I'll take a Sunday off, like this Sunday, so we can go out on Saturday!

Now, my only dilemna is the church sticker on my mini-van. It's on the outside. So hubbie tries to park out of the way and back in, so no one sees it. I don't care that they know someone goes there, but I can just see an anonymous email the church "so one of your members goes to a swing club....". So I have to find something I can put over it when we do go the club. Can't take it off - my sons would buy another one for .25 and stick it on there!

NCfun,

If the sticker is on the body of the vehicle, get a magnetic sign that is neutral to stick over it. If it is on the glass, maybe a window cling for something neutral.

More people have been killed under the auspices of religion than for any other reason. The Crusades, WWII, even most of the current wars being fought can be boiled down to religious differences. Both of us were brought up very conservative in very religious homes (protestant ministers in both). We do not go to church. I am an athiest. This does not make me a bad person, it makes me an indiviual who is capable of making a free choice about what to believe. Just as an aside, the freedom of choice is how judeo-christians explain horrors such as child molestation. Religion is not a determinant of good or evil. Actions determine if a person is good or evil. Politics do not determine if a person is good or evil. We can disagree with a person about politics, religion, or child rearing methods and still find common ground in other areas. Swinging is about sex and friendship (for some of us). Maybe Tnswing did mean that they are no longer going to engage in the lifestyle because they have found that they have truly found each other and that is exactly what they want. No one else is going to have the exact same views as they do and if they do find someone who does, why "step out" there?

Politics and religion - great subjects to debate to pass the time on a long car ride with a close friend, terrible subjects for polite conversation in a social situation!!

where in NJ, might this store be?

More people have been killed under the auspices of religion than for any other reason. The Crusades, WWII, even most of the current wars being fought can be boiled down to religious differences.

War is the bloody end of " Politics".

Reality is that most of the wars related to religion, were not over religious belief or doctrine, but to politics, and everyting related to the inability of man to live up to the ideals called for by religion itself. Greed, wealth, resources, land, ethnicity, race and on and on. We could list every war related to mankind and research the root causes you will find religion was the lesser of the real reasons behind them, even if religion was used to justify their anti religious actions..

Atheist cultures like The soviet union, had no problem with war and mass murder. Stalin killed more of his own people than Hitler, yet we don't talk about that. Communist regimes have routinely mass murdered others whom they suspect may have differing opinions.

Lets at least be honest, War is a result of mans inhumanity to man, not God or some image of a god, egging us on to kill one another.

Politics and religion - great subjects to debate to pass the time on a long car ride with a close friend, terrible subjects for polite conversation in a social situation!!

To: tn_softswing2: Whatever leads a married couple to more profound understanding of each other is good. I applaud you on your decision.

Hey, it's tn_softswing2 again. After all the searching we did, we found out we had what we had been looking for all along: EACH OTHER. And that's enough. Take care all.........

Funny, I'm pretty sure I ran across their profile when searching profiles the other day. I remember this exact statement. Small world.

Lustylearning, we meant that swinging was fun and we seemed to be more alive than we had in years. However, what it boiled down to was we learned much more (or either RE-discovered) than we had known. We're not sorry it happened, it was a good learning experience. We just decided that we didn't need it to start with: we had each other all along. We made some great friends and do still keep up with them. WE (the two of us) had let our passion diminish, swinging definitely cranked it up again, as we posted in our first note. And it's still cranked up. No problems.

Hey, it's tn_softswing2 again. After all the searching we did, we found out we had what we had been looking for all along: EACH OTHER. And that's enough. Take care all.........

Only time will tell.........

Glad you found something special

Just wanted to post that we have continued to get together with our friends and are enjoying their company in and out of the bedroom. We still like going to the swing socials but haven't done full swap with any other couples. The 'lifestyle' is great for enjoyment for both of us and keeps our passion alive. Where else can you find un-hibited folks?

Just wanted to post that we have continued to get together with our friends and are enjoying their company in and out of the bedroom.

Where else can you find un-hibited folks?

Agreed. It's good to hear you are both happy:)

Hi Softswing,

Always good to hear that things are still working out. The vinilla world wants to tell us that swinging only works for a while as best and then we will be worse off. Yet over and over again people say its helped them.

dayhiker

Just wanted to post that we have continued to get together with our friends and are enjoying their company in and out of the bedroom. We still like going to the swing socials but haven't done full swap with any other couples. The 'lifestyle' is great for enjoyment for both of us and keeps our passion alive. Where else can you find un-hibited folks?

what difference does religion play in swinging? we never ask a persons religion

what difference does religion play in swinging? we never ask a persons religion

It may make no difference to you when you choose play partners, but one's religious beliefs can strongly impact the decision about whether or not to get into the lifestyle, as well as how one plays in the lifestyle. Some believe that Christians, for example, could not be lifestylers, simply because they are Christians. I suspect this was the inspiration for the opening post.

Lustylearning, you're exactly right about the intent of the original post. While not getting into "religion" here, I will say "religion" is a strict adherance to a specific set of rules. "Christianity" is a way of life knowing freedom through Christ's sacrifice. The trouble with folks on the outside looking at "Christianity" is that they see "Religion: the strict adherance to standards", not the freedom of Christianity. We enjoy the freedom of having 'friends with benefits'. And do not see anything wrong with a couple "sharing" with another couple. It's all done above board and honestly.

My husband and I are very devout Christians - I teach Sunday School and volunteer a lot of hours. I find nothing conflicting about the lifestyle and Christianity. I am faithful to the man that I love - I choose to have sex with other people but I only love my husband. But nothing is more important to me then my relationship and faith in God and Jesus. I know there are a lot of people in the lifestyle who share these beliefs.

all the swingers we know are either christian like us or jewish where have you been living that you never met or knew christian swingers. the moslem world.

all the swingers we know are either christian like us or jewish where have you been living that you never met or knew christian swingers. the moslem world.

Well.... there are some pagans like me and atheists like my husband out there too, you know. It's not like everyone has to fit into a neat category of one of the major world religions. Lots of unaffiliated folks out there.

My wife and I are human beings. The fact that we have our religious beliefs and swing are just some of the things that make us who we are.

Glad to hear that you are so happy together tn_softswing2!!!

Why "needless to say?" What was wrong with them? The cloven hooves putting runs in the stockings? And honestly, why does religious belief even come up as a topic when meeting potential sexual playmates? I don't get it.

 

Oh well, to each his own. Personally, religious beliefs aren't exactly at the top of the list when it comes to selecting partners. (Full disclosure: I consider myself a pagan) I won't even mention politics when chatting up a new couple, and believe me, that matters a lot more to me.

They had made seem to us they felt they were God. We just did not click!

I appreciate this. We are both attractive and active And while not religious we are Christian. It’s hard to find the answers we need to see if this is the right thing for us. I worry most about jealousy - any info for me is love it thanks James 

God gave you a body and a mind that can experience pleasure. We always believed it's silly to think He doesn't want you to use it, and it's a sin to live life foregoing pleasure for pain and suffering. 

Who makes the rules of which sins you are going to follow. I see people here think the 10 Commandment is a multiple choice question. 

Sounds very hypocritical to me. 

Thank you for sharing and ironically my husband and I, both Christians, discuss this often. We agree there is no room for us to ever judge anyone or pick which rules we “obey”, but outside of the numerous other things of ones’s faith, we agreed to honesty with one another & others, to hold one another and selves accountable that we never hurt anyone  through this process. We also try to listen more to others backgrounds, beliefs & sexuality. Not how we were brought taught, but so glad we did. We’ve met amazing people!! 

Almost 12 years ago I posted on this thread! 
Since then I've come to classify myself as solo poly. I have 4 GFs, 3 of whom I see most ever month. There is a whole bunch of love flowing between us and the guys that they see.  I was a failure at monogamy, but ethical non-monogamy is working amazing well.

A quote from John Waters (whoever he is), "I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty."  And may I add, Lesbianism a guilty pleasure.

On 1/1/2021 at 7:33 PM, dayhiker said:

I was a failure at monogamy, but ethical non-monogamy is working amazing well.

My ex-wife knows that my now-wife and I swing with several other couples.  She has asked me if it would have worked for us.  We agreed that it would have (we never even got close), but we still would have split for the reasons that we did.  One needs to be with the right person. 

The enemy of jealousy is communication, love, trust, mutual respect. I used to be VERY jealous for most of my life and when we turned down this road I was concerned that it would once again be a problem...it wasn't. As long as the communication is there, jealously has no place to take root. Of course, the only way to truly learn this is to take your time and take baby steps. There's no need to rush this, you both have the rest of your lives to find out.

I've posted this before (heck, I may have posted this earlier in this thread) but for other Christians having issues with swinging and religion, first remember that the Old Testament had almost every marriage being between multiple people and it wasn't 'condemned'. Second, read this:

Monogamy Isn't Biblical, It's Roman

Yes, I have it bookmarked and refer back to it every so often myself.

Humans are not monogamous, it's not in our nature and God (nor anyone else) should blame us for having been made that way.  It's the same as being vegan, it has benefits but isn't in our nature and no one should be forced or shamed into it.

It has been found serendipitously through genetic testing that even animals that are considered monogamous are "socially" monogamous - they mate for life but have sex with others.  That's what we in our poly family are striving to be.

3 hours ago, couplers said:

Humans are not monogamous, it's not in our nature and God (nor anyone else) should blame us for having been made that way.  It's the same as being vegan, it has benefits but isn't in our nature and no one should be forced or shamed into it.

 

It has been found serendipitously through genetic testing that even animals that are considered monogamous are "socially" monogamous - they mate for life but have sex with others.  That's what we in our poly family are striving to be.

This should be shouted from the rooftops. No primates are monogamous. There are many sensible reasons to choose monogamy, or have it imposed socially, but it isn't something we evolved with. The modern romantic idea of "the one" is just ridiculous, especially as long as we live now.

"Sex at Dawn" is a great book about this.

Also re that point about monogamy in other animals, I've read repeatedly that it's been found that in every species studied, those thought to be monogamous aren't. There's a Minute Physics youtube video that provides a good summary.