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Since we've been involved in this lifestyle we've noticed that it seems there are 2 unicorns. It is possible that this 2nd unicorn is only scarce geographically... The widely known single female AND the attractive couple.

 

Seems attractive husbands are hard to come by, I think I would be safe to say that in the 10 years or so we've been going to events and meeting people I have only met 10 attractive husbands. This is a high estimate, I can't actually remember 10 that I can count can only remember 4 off the top of my head but hands down I can recall at the very least 30 very beautiful women. Women that would be beautiful or hot in any lifestyle.

 

The men on the other hand are looked at on a sliding scale based on what else is available in comparison. These aren't men that I would even notice outside of this lifestyle. Wonder if anyone else has noticed this....? Or possibly if this just might only be the case where we live?

 

I've always noticed this and hubby and I have had many talks about it, but this past weekend we went to a party and met a couple that jokingly referred to us as the OTHER unicorn and when we asked them what they meant, they said a couple where BOTH the hubby and wife are hot. Which led me here to bring it up to all of you.

 

We're taking it one step further and saying that it is not just a hot couple that's hard to find, but that hubbies in general in our experience are normally downright ugly, at this point am grateful for average with a good personality and a decent body. Hubby wondered once if we had ever met a hot hubby with an ugly wife and the answer is NO! I think men are more visual and wind up with the best that they can get where as women connect on other levels and can look past appearance but let's be frank here, in this lifestyle I don't love these men (like their wives), so attraction is a must and your hot wife is not your ticket to ride all the rides :nono:

 

It is good for me that chemistry isn't solely based on appearance because I have NEVER been with a man that I was immediately physically attracted to besides my husband and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel :rollseye:

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Well, that hasn't been our experience, though as a str8 hubby, I'm not generally scoping out the guys. It could be that you're out in the boonies, or perhaps your standards are too high? If you're expecting a lifestyle party to look like Playboy TV, then you will probably be disappointed more often than not.

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I asked Mrs two4you her opinion on this.

 

She doesn't feel the same way. She finds a lot of the guys to be hot. Probably a 1:1 ratio with hot females.

 

Sorry to hear you two are having a hard time finding compatible couples. That does take away some of the fun.

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Since we've been involved in this lifestyle we've noticed that it seems there are 2 unicorns, its possible that this 2nd unicorn is only scarce geographically.... The widely known single female AND the attractive couple. Seems attractive husbands are hard to come by, I think I would be safe to say that in the 10 years or so we've been going to events and meeting people I have only met 10 attractive husbands, this is a high estimate, I can't actually remember 10 that I can count can only remember 4 off the top of my head but hands down I can recall at the very least 30 very beautiful women. Women that would be beautiful or hot in any lifestyle. The men on the other hand are looked at on a sliding scale based on what else is available in comparison. These aren't men that I would even notice outside of this lifestyle. Wonder if anyone else has noticed this....? Or possibly if this just might only be the case where we live? I've always noticed this and hubby and I have had many talks about it but this past weekend we went to a party and met a couple that jokingly referrered to us as the OTHER unicorn and when we asked them what they meant, they said a couple where BOTH the hubby and wife are hot. Which led me here to bring it up to all of you. We're taking it one step further and saying that its not just a hot couple thats hard to find, but that hubbies in general in our experience are normally downright ugly, at this point am greatful for average with a good personality and a decent body. Hubby wondered once if we had ever met a hot hubby with an ugly wife and the answer is NO! I think men are more visual and wind up with the best that they can get where as women connect on other levels and can look past appearance but lets be frank here, in this lifestyle I don't love these men (like their wives) so attraction is a must and your hot wife is not your ticket to ride all the rides :nono: It is good for me that chemistry isn't solely based on appearance because I have NEVER been with a man that I was immediately physically attracted to besides my husband and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel :rollseye:

 

It depends on what you mean by 'hot' for a male.

 

I don't know what makes normal men attractive to women, I do know what a 'pretty boy' looks like.

 

Here is the rule.

 

IF they would look good in a dress and makeup, aka you could turn them into an attractive woman, THEN they are a hot male. Now sometimes it gets confused with celebs who women think are hot but its the power of their celebrity that does so, put them in normal clothes on the street without their familiarity and they would blend in like other men.

 

I do know where you are coming from because in that respect it is true. Pretty men are far more rare than pretty women. I'm assuming that being pretty is far lower on the evolutionary ladder for men than women. I've only known a handful of such in my life, and yes they are more sought after by women.

 

Now, on the other hand my wife has surprised me to what she is attracted to. She herself is attracted to men who look like men, as in pretty bad in a dress. That doesn't mean she likes out of shape or poor features, but well I can't describe them beyond a guy like me. Over 6' tall, 180-220 lbs, strong features, looks bad in a dress.

 

If you are a woman who is only attracted to the pretty boy types, then you will have a very hard time finding swing partners, such men are out there in swinging of course, but just like RL they are not common.

 

Now if your problem has been the men are just out of shape or whatever, then you are pretty unlucky.

 

As a man who likes fit attractive women, while there are MORE of them than men in swinging, its still not all that common either, but we all like what we like. As for drop dead 'every mans fantasy' women, there are some, but like RL not all that common.

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I'll agree with you that couples where BOTH are attractive are much rarer than the opposite... we've found that of those couples where only one is attractive, it's more often the guy (at least around here).

 

There have actually been several couples we've met where I would have loved to do the guy but the woman was just not attractive to either of us.

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I'm attracted to a wide range of men for different reasons and ordinarily in a normal vanilla situation some of these men might appeal to me....eventually, becoming more attractive as I get to know them. Thats the thing, i'm talking about immediate physical attraction, noticing out of a crowd attraction. For women I agree with you Chicup, in RL and in the lifestyle off the charts hot every ones fantasy women are rare but i'm not delusional I'm not shooting for that. What I guess I was referring to as far as the women went was better then average with a great body and someone that would not go unnoticed anywhere, women that require a second look and draw your eye back to them over and over again throughout the course of the night, I think there are plenty of those kinds of women in the lifestyle. Inevitably though their husband is older, alot of times significantly older, out of shape, and balding. I don't think my expectations are too high. I'm not expecting supermodels but even better then average (which to me is not ugly, with a good body, well dressed with a neat presentation) is tough to find. Believe me i'm not shooting high. Not looking for what would normally attract me in RL at a vanilla club.

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We were just having a similar discussion the other day. It really seems, as Julie observed, that the hardest thing to come by is the attractive couple... that is, a couple in which both members are equally attractive. Although, unlike Julie - and much like the OP - we have a hard time finding couples with attractive males. Anyone have any insight on that one?

 

Edit: It just occured to me that I have no idea how most others see us... I wonder if that could make me the :eek: unattractive husband. At least I don't have to look at myself... talk about a turn-off :lol:::P:

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I don't know if I'd go so far to say downright ugly, but yes, I've found myself saying very often, 'wow, she's hot, and....oh, that's who she's with?', moreso than I've seen a hot guy and been disappointed with the wife. Now, some of the best play times I've ever had have been with guys that I initially thought, 'oh' about. Not that I'll hook up with any old troll, but if the wife is a 10, and he's a 6.5, it's not a deal breaker at all.

 

The bottom line is it's difficult to find 4 way attraction for a number of reasons, including looks. Some people are more interested in finding near-perfect matches and having fewer experieces. That's fine, if that's what you're after. For me, if a guy's got a good personality, there's chemistry there, and I can find something attractive about him, I can have a good time...especially if his wife's really hot. :D

 

Pepper

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This thread scares me because I sometimes wonder if I'm the "but who she's with. . ." Oh well I am what I am and that's all that I am.:D

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Well in some cases the anchor is obvious but in others not so much.

 

Now from my perspective, we have been at clubs where my wife is easily the most attractive woman there, or at least in the top couple. Of course this is my perspective, but I'm very shallow so I think its pretty accurate. I think of myself as cute to average. I EXPECT me to be the deal breaker and once or twice, especially before I really started to work out and all I know I was and deservedly so in my opinion.

 

YET there were a couple of times where it was my wife that was the deal breaker. I am still shocked by those, but its happened.

 

So I think the moral of the story is outside of those rare universal 'hot' types out there, everyone is going to find their anchor point. If you are more picky about men you will wonder why all the men are so ugly. If you are more picky about women you feel just the opposite.

 

In our view, normally its the men who are the deal breakers, but I'm sure there is a couple out there who met that same couple we did who thinks is the woman.

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For us I would have to say that on average we see more couples that the female is lacking in the physical attraction department more so than the males. I think this has more to do with the fact that my (the male) "strike zone" for what I consider attractive enough, is narrower than Mrs. GT's strike zone for what she considers an attractive enough male. In other words I am pickier than she is, when it comes to physical attraction.

 

That being said, it isn't that we don't find people at the club on a given night that we find attractive, it is more that they often aren't part of the same couple. We have often fantasized that we could mix and match the couples, we would be able to play with a lot more if we could do that.

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While I can't deny that the "eye candy" catches my attention at a party,,, overhearing a well said comment (particularly in a female voice) would likely distract me and over rule my eyes.

 

I can easily look past a bulging uterus and droopy breasts if they can see past my balding scalp and a little bit of flab. If we can communicate well, we can have a real good time.

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Edit: It just occured to me that I have no idea how most others see us... I wonder if that could make me the :eek: unattractive husband. At least I don't have to look at myself... talk about a turn-off :lol:::P:

 

I'm pretty sure that I'm generally the 'let down' for a lot of couples lol. Katrina is pretty hot; I'm more cute to average, but certainly not 'hot' (unless you're Katrina). I know in at least one case I've been the dealbreaker, unfortunately for my ego they were pretty upfront about that lol. Good for the communication, tough on the ego ;)

 

We've found that most of the women we're attracted to are with guys that Katrina isn't instantly attracted to, although they generally aren't ugly or anything like that. It's definitely been tough to find a couple where there is mutual attraction all around, in fact we haven't found that at all yet; of course we're still pretty new.

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With us, the Mr. is tall and more fit than the Mrs. However, she is much better looking (face, eyes, etc.) She is definitely the more picky one when it comes to finding a match, but looks aren't everything. Personality and chemistry are just as important, for us anyway. As far as couples we've met, it's been mixed -- sometimes the female is more attractive, sometimes the male.

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Well lets take this a step out. I've seen it where the less attractive member of the couple is also the most picky one.

 

Those are the times I'd like to show them a mirror and say 'um hello?'.

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Well lets take this a step out. I've seen it where the less attractive member of the couple is also the most picky one.

 

Those are the times I'd like to show them a mirror and say 'um hello?'.

 

Well, I, in my opinion, am the less attractive of the two of us, and yes, I am the pickier one by far.

 

I don't think I have to give up my right to be comfortable, or attracted to a certain look or personality style or combination of the two, or just plain ol' not want to fuck assholes, just because I'm not as attractive as my spouse.

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Are you saying you have to beat the ladies off of your husband with a stick ?

 

And then you have to settle for the average man ?

 

:rolleyes: That would suck.

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe I'm missing something :confused:

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Maybe it is just the couples we've met, but the wife and I have noticed a similar trend. Although, given the community we live in, it seems like the guys really aren't all that great, but most aren't too bad (physically fit at least), and the wives are really hit or miss. Now, the wife is (in my oppinion and in the oppinion of most of the people we've met) really attractive. Maybe it's the lack of looks on the men's part that has inflated my ego with comments from the women of the couples, but I would say that I am fairly good looking as well. I suppose that given the area we live in at least, that we may be a "other unicorn" couple as well. I am still holding out that the wife is far more attractive than I, but I guess we'll see that more when we move back to NE Oregon where there is a bit more of a population to judge from.

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Are you saying you have to beat the ladies off of your husband with a stick ?

 

And then you have to settle for the average man ?

 

:rolleyes: That would suck.

 

Maybe I'm missing something :confused:

 

I'm not sure what's missing.

 

I didn't say The Spousal Unit beats anyone off with a stick, and I certainly don't settle. I thought my opinion was that the one's pickiness in relation to their looks, especially in comparison with the partner, shouldn't be up for judgment or have any bearing.

 

Attractive, average, downright ugly, with or without an attractive spouse - you like what you like.

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I'm not sure what's missing.

 

I didn't say The Spousal Unit beats anyone off with a stick, and I certainly don't settle. I thought my opinion was that the one's pickiness in relation to their looks, especially in comparison with the partner, shouldn't be up for judgment or have any bearing.

 

Attractive, average, downright ugly, with or without an attractive spouse - you like what you like.

 

Sorry rpu3 I should have Quoted Jeepgurly :blush:. I was clear on your views, but lost something in the O.P.'s observation :confused:

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Maybe to clarify.

 

Jeepgurly, I have read your posts and try to understand.

 

But somehow it seems that its unfair to the people or (men) your having sex with.

 

I mean your kind of negetive about even your recent sex partners. I'm thinking your fooling someone ? I envision someone like myself ( i'm not gods gift to women for sure) but I would have to wonder while having sex, you would have been thinking :rolleyes: Hummm they should have painted the ceiling beige.

 

Why do that ?

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Its interesting hearing everyone's different experiences/opinions on this. To the question are women beating down the path to hubby, I would have to say that yes they are. He gets hit on a lot on my behalf, on his own and on us as a couple. He's an open receptive happy guy that while quiet seems to invite conversation with his vibe... With me, i'm quiet too but people tend to approach hubby while i'm in the bathroom or refilling drinks or whatever. Hubby says i'm intimidating, who knows.

 

Wasn't trying to be negative Fun4ds, was just bringing up an observation we'd made that apparently another couple had noticed themselves and brought up to us. Just wondered what everyone else's experiences were or if any body else had noticed this...? Like someone else mentioned, for us its mainly about the girl and if she's a 10 and hubby's a 6.5 then we'll see if personality wise its doable for me, if hubbys a flat out troll then its just not gonna happen. Think lately though that i've been thinking about not making any concessions. If its not fun for both hubby and I then what the hells the point. We may switch to just soft swap with the possibility for more with the understanding that its gonna be a rarity for us. Think we're fine with that.

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Thanks Jeepgurly :)

 

See, I dont always understand things. I know my questions seem off the wall sometimes, but it helps understand.

 

I see what your saying now. Thanks

 

It seems like you came up with the obvious solution that works. Thats what its about ya know. I didn't even see it :confused::cool:

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I guess this weekend we were hanging out with a female friend of ours. She was talking about some other sex partners being just blah. I thought as usual, where does that place... me. So I asked.

 

She was comparing them to sex with us. We were having fun at the time so we talked about it later... I suppose I could have said try slowing down a bit and soft swap. I mean its a simular situation :rolleyes:

 

Sorry Jeepgurly Im drifting off the point . I hope you see where I was coming from...;) Thanks again

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Think lately though that i've been thinking about not making any concessions. If its not fun for both hubby and I then what the hells the point. We may switch to just soft swap with the possibility for more with the understanding that its gonna be a rarity for us. Think we're fine with that.

 

It sounds to me like you've been settling. I think that was Fun4D's point, as well. Why do you do this to yourself. If you end up spending the evening wondering why did we have to end up with him to get to her, then it's no fun for anyone really and you are only fooling them (if you are lucky) because you aren't fooling yourself.

 

It sounds to me like you are as picky about the guys as I am about the girls. I am very bi, but I'm also very picky when it comes to women. Pet typically finds many more women attractive in a night than I do. But, I typically find just as many men, and we usually don't have trouble finding full couples that we can agree on. So why settle... you might have to look harder/longer to find couples that fit you both, but you shouldn't settle just to play.

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We have often fantasized that we could mix and match the couples, we would be able to play with a lot more if we could do that.

 

At the house parties we've hosted and attended, most the couples tend to split up and play seperately some of the time. It would be pretty easy to mix and match...

 

in the 10 years or so we've been going to events and meeting people I have only met 10 attractive husbands, this is a high estimate, I can't actually remember 10... [snip] ...Inevitably though their husband is older, alot of times significantly older, out of shape, and balding.

 

Wow. Hmmmm. Don't know where you are, but our experience has been very different. Hot guys - looks, body, hair (lol!) - come to our parties all the time. Then again, there is no accounting for taste, and what rings one woman's bell might not do it for another.

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We've just been re-reading the posts in this thread and thinking to ourselves that the bottom line for us is this: some people (men or women) may not look like pageant winners, but they carry a certain energy and presence - you just know that they're gonna be great in bed, and more often than not, they are! :D The best looking people are not always the best in bed.

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You know Julie, I actually think i'm pickier with women. I worked in a strip club for years and its affected my preferences for women. I know perhaps it sounds like I have unrealistic expectations but as far as men go I will settle for average looks if we have chemistry and good conversation. And yes I have been settling to get to the girl and i've yet to enjoy sex with any of the hubbys. We have had mmf with 2 men which I enjoyed but even then it was all about incredible chemistry, they weren't hot either, so I don't need hot necessarily just chemistry and i've yet to put my finger on what it is that ignites that for me...

 

2insandiego - I agree that just because you're hot doesn't mean you'll be good in bed and vice versa. But for me I can't even get up the interest to proceed without some kind of attraction/chemistry. I've found that if I have incredible chemistry with a guy it makes average nothing to write home about sex fabulous because I just can't wait for it and i'm so worked up that it heightens all of my senses and then hubby is always there to finish me off and make sure that its the best no matter what.

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We've just been re-reading the posts in this thread and thinking to ourselves that the bottom line for us is this: some people (men or women) may not look like pageant winners, but they carry a certain energy and presence - you just know that they're gonna be great in bed, and more often than not, they are! :D The best looking people are not always the best in bed.
Quoted for truth!

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You know Julie, I actually think i'm pickier with women. I worked in a strip club for years and its affected my preferences for women. I know perhaps it sounds like I have unrealistic expectations but as far as men go I will settle for average looks if we have chemistry and good conversation. And yes I have been settling to get to the girl and i've yet to enjoy sex with any of the hubbys. We have had mmf with 2 men which I enjoyed but even then it was all about incredible chemistry, they weren't hot either, so I don't need hot necessarily just chemistry and i've yet to put my finger on what it is that ignites that for me...

 

2insandiego - I agree that just because you're hot doesn't mean you'll be good in bed and vice versa. But for me I can't even get up the interest to proceed without some kind of attraction/chemistry. I've found that if I have incredible chemistry with a guy it makes average nothing to write home about sex fabulous because I just can't wait for it and i'm so worked up that it heightens all of my senses and then hubby is always there to finish me off and make sure that its the best no matter what.

 

Maybe you are just more into women.

 

Sounds like an awfully bad track record to be 100% the mens fault.

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Chicup never claimed that its the hubby's faults I don't enjoy sex with them. I don't blame it on them at all, its simply for me a matter of chemistry; with it the sex is awesome and without it, its just not. The actual sex itself has little to do with my enjoyment i've found. And I have enjoyed sex (A LOT) with men before in mmf where the single man is one i've chosen because of the chemistry between he and I without having to worry about a 4 way match, or where he wasn't a package deal to get the wife. Single men i'm attracted to are easier to find is all, men in couples thus far just haven't appealed to me, i'm hopeful though :) Would be flippin' awesome to enjoy a 4 some with all parties involved.

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Chicup never claimed that its the hubby's faults I don't enjoy sex with them. I don't blame it on them at all, its simply for me a matter of chemistry; with it the sex is awesome and without it, its just not. The actual sex itself has little to do with my enjoyment i've found. And I have enjoyed sex (A LOT) with men before in mmf where the single man is one i've chosen because of the chemistry between he and I without having to worry about a 4 way match, or where he wasn't a package deal to get the wife. Single men i'm attracted to are easier to find is all, men in couples thus far just haven't appealed to me, i'm hopeful though :) Would be flippin' awesome to enjoy a 4 some with all parties involved.

 

Is it chemistry or is it just looks?

 

Chemistry is one of those where looks play a part but are not the only factor, as I've known just drop dead gorgeous women who I had no desire to play with due to personality issues so that would be 'chemistry'.

 

Likewise I know some some women who I would love to play with due to their personality but I'd have rejected them on looks alone if I didn't really know them well.

 

So when you say attractive men, are you talking about purely physical attraction? I wonder if there is something about a guy being married which is in itself a turn off to you from a chemistry standpoint. In an MFM the focus is on you, they are only there for you, their desire is only to give and get pleasure from you. In a foursome it can be a bit more distracted and less focused.

 

Having taken part in both 3somes and 4somes I know I focus more on the woman in a 3some because I'm not worried/interested/distracted by what my wife is doing. The women involved I think like them more than a 4some (perhaps a 'well duh' is in order there).

 

Of course if it is just physical looks, then obviously you just have a narrow strike zone, welcome to the club :lol:. Single males in the lifestyle I've noticed tend (key word, tend) to be in better shape then a lot of the married males but thats human nature. The BEST diet and exercise plan on the planet for men is obviously divorce, based on the men I've known who got divorced in their 30's. Suddenly Mr. Lovehandles drops 30 lbs and discovers he can lift heavy things to look better. When a man isn't getting any, the brain focuses on what is needed to have sex a lot more.

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This thread initially was exclusively about looks, about an observation we'd made that apparently another couple had also noticed. That attractive husbands are hard to find.

 

I think that immediately in this lifestyle I walk into a room and scan it and based on attraction zero in on who i'm interested in, it has never been the man. Not because I like women more but because I have yet to find one that stood out or was what I would call attractive or even appealed to me in any way that would garner more interest. I will spend the night having fun and getting to know people but pretty quickly I've already assessed the crowd and know which couple, if any, i'm pursuing. Thus far, i've made that decision based on my attraction to the wife and whether the husband is not repulsive right off the bat and then later after we've met them if he has a good personality and we click in some way. But without attraction to him there is no chemistry, at best its a friendly conversation that i'll enjoy if he gets me and my sarcasm. Love people that get me. But that doesn't make that person hot, it might make them doable but certainly not hot. And for me without chemistry the sex is a chore with hubby.

 

I think the reason I have enjoyed sex with single men, is because just like you've witnessed they tend to be more attractive and take care of themselves in a way that married men don't always. Theres no settling for him because wifey is hot, theres only my interest in him to worry about.

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It would be interesting to me to see the result of you going to a club and consciously not looking for the attractive woman, but rather focus on assessing the men and approaching those couples where the guy is someone you find attractive. If you're filtering couples by finding the woman you think is hot you're already eliminating a lot of guys you probably aren't even noticing. Not saying to instead settle for a woman you're not into to get a guy you are attracted to, but I am curious if focusing on finding an attractive guy would leave you finding a couple where you're attracted to both of them.

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I don't think that I ever go with the objective of scoping out the women first. I go and scan the crowd and look for whoever i'm attracted to and then see who they're with. It just always is the women that are attractive. We were recently at a meet and greet at a vanilla club and a single guy walked by and I noticed him immediately. Hubby didn't, but asked if I saw anyone there for the meet and greet that I was interested in, the answer was no that night but I said I sure wish that guy was here for the meet and greet. I think I enter openminded just open to attraction. Its something you just notice.

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Seems attractive husbands are hard to come by, I think I would be safe to say that in the 10 years or so we've been going to events and meeting people I have only met 10 attractive husbands, this is a high estimate, I can't actually remember 10 that I can count can only remember 4 off the top of my head but hands down I can recall at the very least 30 very beautiful women..........

It is good for me that chemistry isn't solely based on appearance because I have NEVER been with a man that I was immediately physically attracted to besides my husband and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel :rollseye:

Well it is obvious you aren't drinking enough at these clubs ::P: Just heard today about the college study of students looking at pics of the opposite sex and rating them. Half the group was fed drinks and the others we're sober. The drinking group rated the pics much higher on the attractive scale :lol: The old beer goggles :rolleyes:

 

So if you really want to find more attractive guys, my advice is drink more and all of us guys will look much more attractive :hahaha:

 

Brett

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I agree with you 100% on that statement Chicup. Alot of the guys that hit on me are handsome, but the wives are as big as all outdoors. We've been in the LS for two years and have only been with eight couples and only with two of them there was a four way attraction. It has also happened the other way around, but more times the women running bigger than the men. Must be a southern thing. I don't concider myself as a 10, with 10 being the highest score, but I sure in the hell hold a damn strong 8.

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I care a great deal about my appearance. I am attractive. I am in a relationship with an attractive partner who like me is at the gym 6 days a week. So we're out here. Keep looking. :)

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I love this post!! It is sooo true and it sounds like me writing it!! I can't find any decent looking men either and its annoying. My husband thinks anyone is attractive for sex (he would disagree). I have super high standards. If I can't get what I have or better, I'm not spreading legs.

 

I have unfortuately done "one for the team", so the husband can have some fun, but I hate to do that. I am not a faker, although I do go with the flow. Those times are rare.

 

There was someone who said they were with 8 couples in 2 years on the site. Well, we have been with 8 couples and 9 years on the site. To each his own.........

 

I willl also add as an afterthought, that when we do find half way decent guys, their women smell like fish, yeah, nice. Go figure.

 

Good luick, everyone have fun!!

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I willl also add as an afterthought, that when we do find half way decent guys, their women smell like fish, yeah, nice. Go figure.

 

Mackerel or tuna steak?

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:sad: I seem to encounter these kinds of complaints in Chatrooms and IM frequently. I guess the lifestyle is going the way of everything else in a superficial, increasingly arrogant & selfishly egotistical world. When we entered this lifestyle years ago, we were so happy just finding individuals and couples open to this lifestyle, it was unbelieveably exciting. Granted, we were younger in those days, but, generally, both guys and gals in this lifestyle are, and probably were, more fit and much more attractive than most. Just finding those to swing with was thrilling. And they tended to be more mature and settled; they had all their Vanilla experiences well behind them. We had to buy Swingers' Gazette and Swingers' News, rent a P.O. Box, buy a Polaroid, send the pics in a Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope, and wait with bated breath for a reply. Then the telephone call for a meeting, which, more often than not, resulted in that wonderful swinging encounter. Or, meeting at a motel, tossing the keys into a bowl and pairing off as such. Today, I believe the lifestyle has become just another kind of entertainment ... going to a ballgame, or a movie, seems to be the kind of excitement shared by most, whereas, it was like discovering a new continent, :cool: or setting the first step on the Moon. Guess I am glad to have been among the first to live this lifestlye. There's no way you young whippersnappers can be as excited as hearing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" for the very first time, ... etc. In those days, there were no "Unattractive" individuals in this Lifestyle ... We were all "Flower Children." :rolleyes:

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Why should anybody be surprised. One need only look around to see just how out of shape so many men have become due to their diets and lifestyles.

Women, on the other hand know that men value a trim body and a pleasing face to the point that many will go to any lengths to maintain what they feel is desirable. I have a good friend who, although may not be in the lifestyle, she does live her life as she wishes. She works out religiously three times a week with a Nordic Gym to keep her 6' tall frame below 155 pounds, and complains constantly about being "fat". all the guys who know her consider to be a knockout.

On a different note, her live in boyfriend is 6'3" and weighs anywhere from 240 to 265 and couldn't care less about it. He tells her constantly that she could use another twenty pounds.

She once asked me if I found him to be an attractive man. My reply was that I don't look at men in that reference and wouldn't have a clue.

When younger, I was considered to be one of the"pretty boys" by the gals and yet, one can't please everybody all the time, so not all of my relationships in the lifestyle escaped failure. My lady did very well, indeed.

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