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Difficulty cumming during oral - male

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Any other guys out there have a really hard time getting off from oral stimulation? I have no problems cumming vaginally or with a hand but it takes me a really long time to get there through oral stimulation. It creates some uneasy moments when the women seem to think it should happen quickly.

 

Any ideas on how to improve?

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Any other guys out there have a really hard time getting off from oral stimulation? I have no problems cumming vaginally or with a hand but it takes me a really long time to get there through oral stimulation. It creates some uneasy moments when the women seem to think it should happen quickly.

 

Any ideas on how to improve?

 

I do that too. I can count on one hand the number of times I have been able to cum from oral. I think for me it is mostly a mental thing.

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I myself do not cum easily with oral. I have gotten the "are you there yet" look on several occasions. My g/f is able to get me "there" faster than any other woman i have been with. Another thing is if i have already cum once, I will never cum orally. Your jaw will fall off before it happens, lol. It feels great and I love it, but I won't cum.

 

Maybe you and your lady should do some experimenting to see if there is a more efficient method to get you there. If you figure our what works for you then you can convey that to you other partners.

 

Good Luck!

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For me when I was younger, it took a while at times. In the clubs, sometimes if I'm distracted by conversations around, it might be problematic. So my only advice is be sure that you aren't distracted by unrelated surroundings such as other conversations.

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I think for me If I don't get off, its because of one or two things.

1. Oh no, if I get off that might be the end of play. That in its self, could hold me off.

2. The olé myth that all women don't like it. Its gross. Don't cum in my mouth. "YUCK". We have been mislead with most female conversations throughout our lives.

Some women however do like it... Well, Mrs fun for one.

 

I think that either of these two things cause some sort of mental block. I know I love getting off from a blow job. I know Mrs. Fun enjoys that also. She would be the first to tell ya with a sexy look "I want you to come " Her actually saying that, with sex in her tone can hurry the moment.

 

Can you try that ? Having your wife talking nasty to you for the climax. Moans and slurping sounds do wonders also.

 

The thing is, with Mrs.fun its o.k. if I get off. There are times she offers a blow job if we are in a hurry. You know, the quickie. I don't know how to put it diligently but....

 

"My wife sucks cock like a porno slut, And I love her to death for it". I just don't know how els to put it.

 

Its about knowing thats what my partner wants. She wants the cum, she wants me or us to get off. Thats what determines how fast. How bad she wants that. There again this is from talking about what I/we want. Good communication !! With new swing partners so far, I just hope for the best. I like getting a blow job for arousal but, we have two single females we play with that have been on our page so to speak. I let them actually control the situation. If they suck me off like BAM, they know I need brought back in a few. Nasty talk blows me away totally and the girls know it.

 

A week ago we played with a single male. One of our intentions was, Mrs.fun wanted to suck us both off. Like in a porno movie. Her on her knees with us standing to each side of her, while she was going back and forth on us. Honestly, we wanted to film it. Guess who forgot the dang camera though. Getting off wasn't the problem, because she wanted it. She let me know that. End of problem.

 

Although the play happened I think two guys cumming simultaneously would be tricky, looking back now. But thats a different topic.

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From our experiences, we don't think that is unusual. I have known only one woman who could get me off orally every time. She had a technique with her tongue on my frendum that just sent me quickly through the roof. Only a few others have been able to make me cum with oral. They usually have to give oral, then hand, then oral, then hand until I cum.

 

On the other hand (no pun intended) my gal, Tina, is the only woman who can get me off quickly with her hand. But, she has a technique seems to work quickly with almost every guy we have been with that she finished off with her "magic" hands.

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With vaginal sex or masturbation there is a lot of 'pressure contact' on the whole penis, with oral sex there generally is only at the lips or deep in the throat. So deep throating typically will result in quicker orgasms. Also, when the male is directing the activity he knows how to build to an orgasm, whereas the female will often redirect the buildup away from climax. That can be a + or a - depending on what she is trying to do of course, but if she is trying to get him off it delays orgasm.

It helps a lot if the female really enjoys giving head. If she doesn't and is just doing it to please the man they both will know it and performance suffers. The female needs to be 100% tuned into the man. She has to be aware of his responses to her ministrations. There is nothing guaranteed here.

Try sucking in so the sides of the cheeks clench on the penis. If you have a good angle, press the penis against the roof of your mouth with your tongue. This gives a lot of pressure and feels great, but risks scraping the penis with your upper teeth if the angle is not up and in.

Another alternative is to use the hand(s) to stroke the shaft of the penis and just suckle the head. This also feels fantastic and the stroking can be done by the woman or the man himself. The man can also just masturbate until he is on the brink of coming and then the woman can suck him through his orgasm.

It helps tremendously if the woman swallows. The difference in sensation is so great, any more, I don't even bother if a woman doesn't swallow.

If you really really want to give mind blowing head, locate your local BDSM group and sign up for a class on fellatio given by a gay guy. Believe me, you will not be disappointed.

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Beats me...

 

Yeah, that helps at times.

 

I generally do not get off during oral. It is very rare when I do so, and the lady must be pretty darn skilled (and/or know how to press my buttons) to make me come.

 

This is fairly common with guys. It's just not you.

 

Even with those super-rare women who can make me come with their mouths, I usually will end up "gently thrusting" in and out. It seems to make it easier for me to get off when I have some hip movement going. Also, if the lady is using her hand in addition to her mouth, that really helps too.

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I'm slower with oral than any other contact. The first partner I had besides my wife gave me the best blow job I ever had, and I came in about the same time as with intercourse.

 

I've done it 3 times since then with my wife, but she gags when I cum, so we don't do it any more.

 

A few months ago, another woman did oral on me for a very long time without my cumming. However, part of that problem was that her lower teeth were rubbing on me, and it was a bit uncomfortable. We finished off with intercourse, but I was sore for three days after from the oral part of our lovemaking. On previous occasions, she had sucked me for a little bit just as part of foreplay but not trying to get me off. This time she was trying to get me off, but it didn't work. Even so, I have to say it was really fun. I'll see her again in a couple of months, and we will have some more oral play, I'm sure. She loves it and so do I.

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I generally do not get off during oral. It is very rare when I do so, and the lady must be pretty darn skilled (and/or know how to press my buttons) to make me come.

 

This is fairly common with guys. It's just not you.

 

Count me in with the fairly common group. I like it, no doubt about that, but it's a rare occasion that it takes me all the way.

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Any other guys out there have a really hard time getting off from oral stimulation? I have no problems cumming vaginally or with a hand but it takes me a really long time to get there through oral stimulation. It creates some uneasy moments when the women seem to think it should happen quickly.

 

Any ideas on how to improve?

 

 

Let me ask a question that most might not have considered..

 

Have you ever had a previous lover, tell you NOT to cum in her mouth.. This very thing the stigma of are they cool with taking/getting it? do they want it? are they gonna freak?

 

Mental blocks are the quickest to stumble over.. And often we re trip on the same ones..

 

Everyone here has said/posted for the most part that their own lover, can bring them off the quickest.. would that be because over the course of time that you have learned they are ok with it/want it.. And because of that you can relax and let go?

 

With a new playmate its easy to worry about what you dont know.. So.. since they have their mouth full, ask simple questions they can answer Mmm Hmm or Uh Umm ..

 

Simplest: God thats good, do you want me to cum?... depending on the answer.. Want me to tell you when I am close?

 

All the pressure is off, relax and go with it..

 

And as far as them not being able to bring you off with their mouth.. In my personal experience I had one person, a woman that i went out with years before meeting the Mrs.. who really had NO CLUE when it came to giving a blow job.. and even with her included, even at its worst... its still pretty good..

 

Oh and points are awarded for enthusiasm

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Any other guys out there have a really hard time getting off from oral stimulation? I have no problems cumming vaginally or with a hand but it takes me a really long time to get there through oral stimulation. It creates some uneasy moments when the women seem to think it should happen quickly.

 

Any ideas on how to improve?

I'm the same way. I rarely, if only a few times in my life, cum through oral sex. Yet I have no problem cumming through vaginal sex or other methods. In fact, it's why I like oral sex so much... I get much more stimulation time out of it. I just look at it that way. No need to change anything. :facelick:

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I feel your pain (or not the pleasure as well) as I too have a very hard time. I can count twice, The first time with the ex after we got home from playing with another couple in separate rooms, when I got her home she blew me, took it doggy and then tied down, in the back side (God I miss being young!) Second time was with the wife on the Beach doing 69 at Hedo II where we were being watched as we played.

 

Only if I am really excited does it happen and its mental, she can blow better than the big bad wolf but if the setting and mood are not there, zip. What gets me going is being watched and her being submissive.

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G'day all,

Well I seem to be in the majority here, finding it difficult to cum no matter who is giving the BJ. I do remember a time early on in our 28 year marriage when Mrs P & P would only need to place her lips around my cock and I'd be gone. Now she can go for what seems hours with no result. The only differerence I can see is that I had a circumcision at the age of 25. I'm not sure how much of the "curse" is attributable to the loss of feeling in my glans due to its exposure and rubbing etc (and that loss of feeling has been considerable) and how much is attributable to just getting older. Since the circumcision 21 years ago I've managed to only cum orally 3 times all with Mrs P&P but the oral sex is still great.

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Any other guys out there have a really hard time getting off from oral stimulation? I have no problems cumming vaginally or with a hand but it takes me a really long time to get there through oral stimulation. It creates some uneasy moments when the women seem to think it should happen quickly.

 

Any ideas on how to improve?

 

Yes, been that way my whole sexual life. Sometimes a woman has taken it too personally, but I just have to reassure her it's me, not her. Dawn is so used to it that it's a non-issue for us anymore. When she's ready for my load, she just lies back and lets me masturbate into her mouth. Maybe once a year I'll cum with just her sucking, and we've yet to figure out any pattern. I wouldn't worry about it.

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Let me ask a question that most might not have considered..

 

Have you ever had a previous lover, tell you NOT to cum in her mouth.. This very thing the stigma of are they cool with taking/getting it? do they want it? are they gonna freak?..

 

No, but I have had the experince many times of seeing various indications that they didn't like despite saying that they did so yes, that's probably ceated a mental uneasiness as I don't want a woman to do something for me if it doesn't also bring her pleasure.

 

I also recently had an experience where the lady and I were having a great time and said that I could not cum in her pussy (we were bareback). When we were done with fucking she asked me to cum in her mouth. Just couldn't do but it still felt good.

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Wow! I think the most informative post on this thread was this one! So much so, that I HAVE to comment. Now...this comes from a married female who has never had any complaints about giving oral. In fact, hubby usually sings me praises and begs for more! Soooo.....

 

It helps a lot if the female really enjoys giving head. If she doesn't and is just doing it to please the man they both will know it and performance suffers. The female needs to be 100% tuned into the man. She has to be aware of his responses to her ministrations. There is nothing guaranteed here.

 

There have been a handful of times that I am NOT into it, or do not feel like I am 100% tuned into him. But I know how much he loves what I do, so I happily oblige. Those times have never seemed to affect my performance or the amount of time that it takes him to get there.

 

Try sucking in so the sides of the cheeks clench on the penis. If you have a good angle, press the penis against the roof of your mouth with your tongue. This gives a lot of pressure and feels great, but risks scraping the penis with your upper teeth if the angle is not up and in.

Another alternative is to use the hand(s) to stroke the shaft of the penis and just suckle the head. This also feels fantastic and the stroking can be done by the woman or the man himself. The man can also just masturbate until he is on the brink of coming and then the woman can suck him through his orgasm.

It helps tremendously if the woman swallows. The difference in sensation is so great, any more, I don't even bother if a woman doesn't swallow.

If you really really want to give mind blowing head, locate your local BDSM group and sign up for a class on fellatio given by a gay guy. Believe me, you will not be disappointed.

 

I agree with all of the detail. I think receiving head can only be as good as the person is who is giving it. I have seen A LOT of porn, and some of those women could barely suck a Dum-Dum sucker let alone a cock. I sit there in amazement that they even get paid to do such a lousy job! (For those not familiar with Dum-Dum suckers, as it may be a local thing since I live within an hour of the facility that makes them --- They are suckers that are only about as big around as a dime or penny.)

 

My idol is/was, of course, Ginger Lynn. I watched her long before I EVER gave my first blow job. She uses many if not all of the techniques that are mentioned above. I think a lot of women just think they can stick it in their mouth and just started moving up and down. That is so NOT the case! There has to be a lot of other movement going on down there. I love to use my tongue to really play with the spot right under the tip of his head. And I use my hand at the base while doing that.

 

I do agree that it helps if the woman swallows. I am not a man, but I think I would feel "unaccepted" if a woman isn't willing to swallow.

 

As far being taught fellatio by a gay guy, I don't think I could do that. But I would highly suggest looking into videos teaching the technique or checking out some of Ginger Lynn's stuff. (No, I am not really her - so I am not trying to advertise my own work or anything!! LOL)

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t helps a lot if the female really enjoys giving head. If she doesn't and is just doing it to please the man they both will know it and performance suffers. The female needs to be 100% tuned into the man. She has to be aware of his responses to her ministrations. There is nothing guaranteed here.

Try sucking in so the sides of the cheeks clench on the penis. If you have a good angle, press the penis against the roof of your mouth with your tongue. This gives a lot of pressure and feels great, but risks scraping the penis with your upper teeth if the angle is not up and in.

Another alternative is to use the hand(s) to stroke the shaft of the penis and just suckle the head. This also feels fantastic and the stroking can be done by the woman or the man himself. The man can also just masturbate until he is on the brink of coming and then the woman can suck him through his orgasm.

 

I'm with MsGingerLynn in saying that this is a very informative post. I'm no expert by any means, but I've found the above techniques to be very effective--especially the part about being tuned into the guy. :D

 

=)

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I have known only one woman who could get me off orally every time. She had a technique with her tongue on my frendum that just sent me quickly through the roof. Only a few others have been able to make me cum with oral.
I was thinking this but was afraid to say it. I'm glad you did. There are some women who just seem to be able to read my mind and play me like a violin. Others go through the movements but fail to sense my direction.

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Well, I have to say that as long as it's the beginning of the night....I can normally cum from Oral:D....makes me happy!!!! Of course, going along with all the posters here there are definitely those girls that more talented than others and it all figures in from technique to attraction to setting.

 

As we move on in the night.....it's much harder if not impossible for me to cum from oral on round 2 and beyond.

 

......what ever happened to those wet dreams during puberty......memories.....

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It definetley is common for guys to not climax during oral. Alot more than you think it would be....so....you are not alon.

My wife can usually make me blow my top in minutes with her fantastic oral skills. She has this little trick she does with her tongue on the bottom side of my shaft while I am in her mouth that just sets me off!!! But when we have a friend over, I can go a long while being sucked and not cum.

I do think the key is distraction; or more of a mental thing if you will.

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Guest rdy46227

Dumb question here... What is "oral" sex (on a guy)?

 

I always classed oral sex as adding the lips/mouth to hand work, squeezing, stroking, clasping balls, neigh even a finger on the prostate. My spouse has a "full court press" that can take me from zero to orgasm in under 100 seconds, and "full court" means she's stimulating my cock every way she can.

 

But reading between the lines, I get the feeling that "oral" in this discussion, means everyone's hands are behind their back, and only allows lip/mouth/tongue contact with the penile shaft...

 

My answer does depend on the definition... True "no hands" takes a lot of prep and sometimes the right phase of the moon. Obviously, the more techniques allowed, the faster I can cum.

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I can wait a long time before I blow during oral. I find that it is more conditioning than anything else. I had a girlfriend who was great at giving head. But since I was not used to it, it took me a long time. Fortunately she was understanding. I need to be in the right frame of mind for an orgasim.

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No problems here with that but for me it's all about attitude. You can tell when she's really into it. When that happens.............

 

Is she isn't. it may never happen.

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Had to think about this a bit, but... I'd have to say...

I can always cum from oral, and fairly quickly after sufficient foreplay to heat things up and an aggressive approach by the lady.

BUT I much prefer for it to take a lo-o-on-n-ng time with lots of teasing and varied techniques culminating in an uncontrolled spasm fully enwrapped in her warm mouth. And I just melt to see a sweet warm smile after a big swallow.

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Oh lord.....Speaking as the female half here....

 

I absolutely LOVE LOVE giving head. I know it would never happen but if I had to decide that I could only choose 1 activity for the rest of my life....IE: giving head, getting laid or getting licked....then hands down I would have a dick in my mouth forever....

Totally worship it when I am giving. Sounds crazy but I literally can have a huge O with no stimulation of any kind just GIVING head.

I am not sure why but OMG....Just kick back and let me do what I love.

I know this was directed to the men here but I had to jump in here and reply.

 

Melody

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Oh lord.....Speaking as the female half here....

 

I absolutely LOVE LOVE giving head. I know it would never happen but if I had to decide that I could only choose 1 activity for the rest of my life....IE: giving head, getting laid or getting licked....then hands down I would have a dick in my mouth forever....

Totally worship it when I am giving. Sounds crazy but I literally can have a huge O with no stimulation of any kind just GIVING head.

I am not sure why but OMG....Just kick back and let me do what I love.

I know this was directed to the men here but I had to jump in here and reply.

 

Melody

 

Melody, you're a rare treasure :)

 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with women who dislike giving head, but it is certainly wonderful to also have women that love it as much as you do.

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I don't enjoy very much during casual sex. I enjoy it a little more with a woman if I'm in love with her. I feel honored and special that she sucks my cock. I generally don't cum from getting my cock sucked, unless I'm licking her pussy or ass or something in a 69 position, and the turn-on of pleasuring her helps me to cum.

 

I've only cum once from a hand job, and I was also fingering her while we stood against the living room wall by a window. I've hardly ever enjoyed a hand job from a woman, and I think that fingering her while standing is what sent me over the top.

 

What's the moral of the story? I enjoy a warm wet pussy more than anything else.

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I can last longer through oral then any other way, but I enjoy it and with what I do to the lady who is giving me oral, she seems like she has no problem.

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