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Would you meet a swinger couple for the first time - at their house?

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Would you meet a couple at their house if the only contact you have had with them is online?

 

We have met couples before at local restaurants, and after it's determined that play time would be fun, we've adjourned to their house.

 

We've been chatting with a couple this week (remember, it's only Wednesday) and they've invited us to their house on Saturday.

 

Would you meet a couple for the first time at their house?

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perhaps suggest meeting at a bar nearby? It only takes a few minutes to suss someone out, so after a drink or two, assuming all is well, you can progress back to their place, heading straight to the bedroom / kitchen / lounge / pool :)

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Nope - and I wouldn't invite them to ours either. Dinner, drinks, mini-golf, something to find out if the mood is right.

 

But that's us.....

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I am going to fence this one, but it totally depends on the couple and our sense of them. I say that as a disclaimer, because my first thought was "no way."

 

If I have no idea that they are real, it would be awkward as hell to walk up to someone's house, knock on the door and have them open it with no idea of who we were and why we were there...

 

*shudder*

 

In fact, that image is so strong that I think I'll go back to "no way" and stick with it...

 

Spoomonkey

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No, not without meeting on some neutral ground first to feel each other out. Later that evening after first meeting somewhere else, ok, and in fact happened that way with the last couple we met.

 

Truthfully, it would somewhat concern us that someone would even want to meet at their house sight unseen after just internet contact. Maybe just newbie nerves or assuming people do things the way we do them, but kind of calls into question their judgement which would make us wonder about their judgement on other things.

 

Five hours of internet time isn't worth five minutes of face to face on getting a feel for someone, just too many ways it could turn into an uncomfortable situation.

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Our first play time, we did go back to their house to play...but we did meet at a bar about half a mile away and proceeded from there.

 

Good luck,

Maria :kissface:

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One of the best experiences we've had was with a couple that invited us to their house on a Friday night the first time we ever met them. We ended spending the entire weekend and enjoyed every minute. Sometimes you've just go to say "What the f*ck!"

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Would you meet a couple at their house if the only contact you have had with them is online?

 

We have met couples before at local restaurants, and after it's determined that play time would be fun, we've adjourned to their house.

 

We've been chatting with a couple this week (remember, it's only Wednesday) and they've invited us to their house on Saturday.

 

Would you meet a couple for the first time at their house?

 

I would as long as they understand exactly how far things may or may not go. We take the direct approach. I am tired of mis-understandings and assumptions, so now we tell people direct and to the point "listen, this is what we are and are not willing to do." I would talk with them on the phone just to see if you click.

Shelly

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I understand the apprehension, we're like that most of the time. On our first encounter to the lifestyle, we knocked on the door of folks we'd never met before. Yeah, the first few minutes were akward but swingers are the friendliest folks I've met. Looking like their profile pics made things go smooth and we warmed up quicker than I expected. One bonus of being invited to their house is that they're probably "real".

 

That being said, we do like neutral territory.

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We meet in neutral territory as well the first time. We're not opposed to playing on the first night, but we always meet somewhere else first.

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Would you meet a couple at their house if the only contact you have had with them is online?

 

We've done that. Lets just say it worked out very well :)

 

CB

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the house parties we attend we have just showed up the first time.it was obvious there were others we have contacted online there.

 

actually the first couple we ever met, we stopped by for dinner on the first meeting. everything went well, of course we drove by several times as stalkers first :o .

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Only if it was a house party situation.

 

Meeting on neutral ground gives both parties the option of backing out.

 

We met a couple at their house once, and it was more difficult to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

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No, after several emails and pic exchanges, and after a few phone calls, we met another couple first at a half-way point for a picnic. We wanted to meet in person since emails, pics, and phone calls don't always give a true picture. We met a second time at a restaurant for a quick meal, and this weekend we are going to their house for a visit. It's about 2 hours away so we may or may not decide to stay overnight. Next weekend they are visiting us at our house, as we have a hot tub......

 

Think of it in a normal dating situation. In a "blind date" scenario or even where you knew the person somewhat you'd either agree to meet somewhere for lunch/dinner first, or at the most one might pick up the other at their home, but on your first date you woudn't be spending the evening at one or the other's house. You might or might not jump in the sack the first night with someone, so think of it like that!

 

If everyone feels comfortable after meeting in person and spending a few hours together, and everyone agrees then you could go to the home, but I would take things one step at a time! It would give you a little time to check out the OC, you could find out where they live, do a drive by, and check them out (It's amazing what you can find out on line these days!)

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It's not that painful to shake hands, smile and say, "Let's hug each other when we meet at parties, but we think the sexual chemestry between us just doesn't work". If you're at their house, compliment their decor and say good by.

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Update: We met the couple at a local restaurant for drinks and a snack last night. We really enjoyed their company. We didn't play, and although we liked them a lot, we're on the fence about playing. They would be a great couple to become friends with, even if it's not the kind with benefits.

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While I'd be more likely to meet them at their house than I would at my own, I still don't think I'd even want to meet them at theirs. I prefer a neutral meeting ground for a couple that I don't already know.

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a short answer is NO... however... distance... who else knows them....the house party rule.... all come in to play...

 

 

so maybe... better there place than our place...

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Nope!

 

If I've not previously met a couple (or a single female in the lifestyle) in person, then I go for the neutral site meeting place first.

 

The cyberworld can be great for meeting people, but in my book, evaluations of character and compatibility are done face-to-face. For one thing, I'd think most folks would prefer to meet at a neutral site for safety's sake so everyone is a tad more relaxed, but it also gives all parties an easier out if things don't look like they're going to work. (Sometimes cyber-personas do not match the real person. Luckily, the not-matching thing has not happened to me...yet...)

 

Responsible couples in the lifestyle are concerned with the safety of both the male and female of the twosome, and rightly so. Single males and females playing in this league can only truly rely on themselves, so I think the sane singles exercise a reasonable amount of caution to make sure that there is a high probability that their LS partners are actually NOT psycho killers.

 

If I show up at the door of a couple or a lifestyle SF for an encounter, it's because I know them/her already. As for house parties, I've only been to those where I already know the hosts (through other events or having been "interviewed" face-to-face beforehand) or know some of the other guests.

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We only meet couples for the first time at the swingers club that we go too. That way if it don't work out then we all can still enjoy the night with someone else. It's seems to work out better for all involve.

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Going to someone's home for the initial meet isn't something we've done and aren't likely to do, but I wouldn't rule it out entirely. I hate to deal in absolutes, and can forsee circumstances where we would make the exception.

 

I don't think there's any question that the prudent thing is to meet at a neutral location. And that's what we have done on each occasion to this point. We're open to play on the first date, but often meet others at the same time as friends of ours who don't, which gives everybody time to think it over and develop a graceful exit strategy.

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No, we wouldn't do it.

I thought that is why there are so many Starbucks around. To give us a place to meet other couples.

 

 

I'll have a Venti double-shot FMF with foam please. :)

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I would - but only as a single-guy and I would be prepped for a "bail out" before I entered ... walking in without my wallet / ID / taking a minimum just my car key with me and the clothes on my back.

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I'll have a Venti double-shot FMF with foam please. :)

 

Now that's funny right there - I don't care who y'are...

 

I'm with the majority on this one. Let's meet in a neutral place and get to know each other a bit first. A party is something else though. We'd go to a party at a new couple's house in a minute. A party is a lot easier to excuse yourself from than a one-on-one (or is that two-on-two?) encounter if things aren't working.

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We never have. I can't imagine circumstances under which we would.

 

In successfully meeting a couple at a restaurant, we've often enjoyed the ride to the play pen, theirs or ours. We like to exchange partners for the trip. That way no one gets lost. Besides, making out at traffic lights can have everyone warmed up by the time we get home. :)

 

Mr. Alura

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Another vote for "no." We've invited couples back to our place the same night, but we wouldn't meet a couple for the first time anywhere but a public place.

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We have done it a couple of times. Not really a big thing for us. All though each couple we had spent a lot of time talking online and/or the phone.

 

Now that we think about it though. Not to sure if we would be as open doing the same for another couple. I think we might have to at the very least meet at a local coffee house.

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Another vote for "no." We've invited couples back to our place the same night, but we wouldn't meet a couple for the first time anywhere but a public place.

Ditto..because we consider an invitation to meet on neutral ground for drinks or dinner to be just that - an invitation to meet. While the purpose is to determine if all concerned might be interested in doing more, there is no expectation that there will be more. On the other hand, let's be honest - an invite to someone's home has different overtones.

 

..In successfully meeting a couple at a restaurant, we've often enjoyed the ride to the play pen, theirs or ours. We like to exchange partners for the trip. That way no one gets lost. Besides, making out at traffic lights can have everyone warmed up by the time we get home. :)Mr. Alura

We love doing that! It's a fantastic 'ice breaker' that usually has everyone much more relaxed with each other by the time you get to the house. However, since moving here from California,we have noticed that quite a few locals are suprisingly reluctant to do it. :confused:

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In successfully meeting a couple at a restaurant, we've often enjoyed the ride to the play pen, theirs or ours. We like to exchange partners for the trip. That way no one gets lost. Besides, making out at traffic lights can have everyone warmed up by the time we get home. :)

 

Mr. Alura

This is a favorite for us, too!

 

They also can't ditch us on the way to their place because we've got a "hostage" in our car. :lol:

 

 

We always have a first meet in a neutral public place and then if everyone is ready we head to either person's home to play.

 

LM

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What if the following were the situation:

 

We've been talking to a couple back & forth online all week. We asked if they'd like to meet us at the local club we enjoy but were told that they have a new baby and no sitter, so prefer to invite people to their house. They're military, and not from the area fyi... and moved out here earlier in the year.

 

Ummm.....? We're also military & have young ones ourselves & for that reason would *never* invite potential playmates over to our house. But we are also close to family now & have someone we trust to watch them, and an on-premise club in the area we can go to. That has made a HUGE difference for us. So we can understand this couple's situation entirely.

 

So, would you try & meet them at their home? Or ask them to meet you (with baby presumably) at a restaurant for an early dinner or something else entirely? It's just... knowing that the baby's there... we already have to sneak and have sex in our own house lol. ::P: Plus, we both love babies & I (wifey) would be very tempted to want to hold, snuggle, and play with the little one :) But I can't help feeling like that would be... wrong? As always, opinions truly appreciated!

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We have met couples at their home for the first time on a few occassions. They were experienced swingers, we were relatively new, and both times it ended up great. Brought a nice gift, had a good dinner and conversation, and ended up naked on both occassions. Both couples became long time play friends. That being said, most meetings of ours are on neutral ground, bar, resteraunt etc. We also have discussed having a "signal" between us for thumbs up or thumbs down, so we don't have to excuse ourselves to the bathroom to ask the other - what do you think. Other couples we know also work out a system to tell their partner yes or no. Although the yeses and the no's are generally obvious.

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My opinion, for what it's worth: I would not swing in a house where there's a child, even if it's a very young baby. Just feel that lines are being crossed there that should not.

 

On the general subject, we did meet a couple at their place early on in our swinging career (last spring). It did work out ok, and we still see them from time to time, but on the whole, we've decided that there's too much risk of awkwardness in that set-up, and would avoid doing it in future.

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We have been chatting with a couple that lives nearby for a few weeks - they have no kids at home, pool table, nice big house. We COULD meet there for the first time if we wanted to.

 

However, we have all agreed to meet for coffee first, and then if we're comfortable, we'll go shoot pool at their place and have a few cocktails. But no, I just can't see meeting them in person for the first time at their home - would just feel too awkard. Chatting is one thing - and swapping pics is one thing - meeting in person lets you know if any attraction whatsoever is there. I wouldn't want to be at their home and then feel "obligated" to go through with anything.

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I don't think we would. If there is no chemistry or something doesn't feel "right" it's easier to excuse yourself from a public venue than it is their personal residence.

 

Mr. WS

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Hello Folks...

 

Our experiences have taught us one important rule..

 

NEVER meet for the first time at anyones house.. We did it twice, and the lesson was learned fairly quickly.

 

As far as Nitati situation.. we can all appreciate the circumstances.. HOWEVER, inviting them to a truly VANILLA meeting place.. ( PIZZA HUT springs to mind ) so that the infant can be tagging along, without raising the attentions of anyone, should be fine.

 

Its like this, we can all understand the facts of being parents, new to the area, and wanting to play.. So long as its an infant.. shouldnt be a big problem.. older children, like WALKERS.. should be scheduled as a simple dinner meet, and if anything is in the cards for play make it another time..

 

I say this for one reason, children that can hop out of the crib or bed, can awaken at odd times.. and nothing is more of a MENTAL SCAR, than seeing MOMMY riding some stranger, moaning to God.. Or Daddy, WRESTLING with some stange lady..

 

I know its a BUZZKILL, but planning versus spur of the moment, can lead to some interesting times too

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Hello Folks...

 

Our experiences have taught us one important rule..

 

NEVER meet for the first time at anyones house.. We did it twice, and the lesson was learned fairly quickly.

 

As far as Nitati situation.. we can all appreciate the circumstances.. HOWEVER, inviting them to a truly VANILLA meeting place.. ( PIZZA HUT springs to mind ) so that the infant can be tagging along, without raising the attentions of anyone, should be fine.

 

Its like this, we can all understand the facts of being parents, new to the area, and wanting to play.. So long as its an infant.. shouldnt be a big problem.. older children, like WALKERS.. should be scheduled as a simple dinner meet, and if anything is in the cards for play make it another time..

 

I say this for one reason, children that can hop out of the crib or bed, can awaken at odd times.. and nothing is more of a MENTAL SCAR, than seeing MOMMY riding some stranger, moaning to God.. Or Daddy, WRESTLING with some stange lady..

 

I know its a BUZZKILL, but planning versus spur of the moment, can lead to some interesting times too

 

 

Yes, we have similar lines of thinking here. For the time being, we have put off meeting the couple until we talk with them a bit more and see if they'd like to meet us in a totally vanilla way. We would never even think to bring our kids with us at all as we keep them totally separate from anything LS related... and if the other couple's child was anything other than a baby-baby we would never even have considered it! We have come across profiles of couples who say they have to wait until the kids are asleep to play and as responsible, sensible parents, we just can't fathom doing something like that! Not that I am passing judgement, but I don't get it! Our home is sacred to us, and our family, and we just don't want to invite potential playmates here. But we aren't knocking couples who do choose to have people over. It's just not something we ever intend to do.

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We would now but not when we were new. In our new days we had a code word for "I want out of here", but we have grown to the point that we can now say to a couple or each other "I don't think this works for me/us, but it was nice meeting you." We also have no problems saying hay lest get naked it's getting late and we still need to be home by --:-- so if you want to play great lets do it if not well thats ok too.

 

Communication is a wonderful thing, they can say yes, that can so no or they can say maybe latter and so can we.

 

There house is fine, a hotel lounge is ok as we still have one kid at home our house does not work most of the time, but we have and don when the kid is at camp meet people at our house for the first time, that does not mean we still can't say sorry this just does not work for us. It's our house we make the rules is it just a drink, a drink and a dip in the hot tub or a drink some hot tubing and some hot sex.

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