Hysterectomy, instant menopause, and sex life?

I've been going through some "stuff" for several weeks now. It started with a distended, hard belly and lots of discomfort. After visiting my GP, getting bloodwork and an x-ray, then being sent out for ultrasound and CT scan, it was discovered that I have a huge ovarian cyst. The thing is literally the size and shape of a rugby ball. I feel like I have a rugby ball in me. There's more, but I'll spare all the details.

The verdict: The cyst must come out. My gyn/surgeon feels that "everything else" must come out, too. I agree with her on the ovaries - both of them (long story, too many details). This will mean "instant menopause" when I get them out! She also wants to take out the fallopian tubes, uterus and cervix. I'm opposed to having the uterus and cervix taken out just to prevent the possibility of future cancer. The cyst is almost assuredly benign (preliminary tests show this). There is no history of cancer with me or my family. My 98-year-old granny still lives in her own home and is going strong, for pete's sake. I'm fighting the uterus/cervix removal idea. I have many reasons for this, including sexual function and the ability to have the "deep" vaginal orgasms I have. These actually involve the contraction of the uterus and stimulation of the cervix...without those organs, no more (or very diminished) "deep" orgasms. Yeah, there are still clitoral orgasms (inferior to the deep ones I have), but even those may be diminished, especially due to the loss of hormones. Even my sex drive itself is at risk. I fear above all that I'll lose interest!!!!! The loss of my libido would be devastating to me, not to mention my husband.

Surgery is this Thursday. I'm studying everything I can get my hands on, frantically absorbing it all. I have to make decisions about things like HRT. I'm faced with many articles and tons of information. It's overwhelming. Then, there is the long recovery and who-knows-what with emotions, mood swings out of the blue, all sorts of physiological changes, and so much more.

Meanwhile, our swing profiles are on "invisible" now. There is no way to know how long I'll be out of commission. No way to know when we two will have our sex life back on track (hoping we'll get it back like it is now). Apparently the surgical recovery before any sort of penetration can be attempted (and then only carefully) is 6 weeks. Many articles I've been reading indicate that it can be months or even a year to get back on track sexually. I really hate that for both myself and my husband!!

I've read everything here in the archives that I could find. Most of the best threads on menopause and hysterectomy are much older threads. I read many valuable tips and facts (some quite sad - some more optimistic). The most helpful of all to me were written by ElusiveBiFem. However, they were all pretty old. I don't think this subject has been here much in quite awhile.

Are there any women here who've been through menopause, whether natural (gradual) or surgically-induced? Anybody had their ovaries surgically removed? How has it affected your sex life? Your life in general? Any tips to share? Any thoughts for me?

Anybody still swinging who's been through this? How long did it take you to get back in the saddle with swinging? In what ways has it affected your swinging life?

Thanks for anything you all can offer.

Unfortunately, I can't offer any tips or advice, but I just wanted to say that we'll be thinking of you. Good luck and hang in there.

I just want to give you a hug because I have no advice to offer up to you. I will tell you though to make sure you and your husband speak up and make sure that when you sign all those endless consent forms, you write on it somewhere that the uterus and cervix are not to be removed.

Have you discussed the possibility of having an epidural so that if anything should arise, you can discuss it with the surgeon right then and there?

I'll be thinking of you.

Bless your heart sweetie. I'll be thinking of you. I can't answer all of your questions, but I had a hysto 3 years ago. They left my cervix, I had the last bits of both ovaries removed and my uterus. I had fibroids. All I can tell you is SEX IS GREAT FOR ME. You didn't say how old you are, mine was 3 weeks after I turned 50, I need no hormones or anything. My Doctor thinks its because I was just ready to start menopause??? who knows...I do think tho that a positive attitude is a plus, our minds can do wondrous things against all odds.

I had lost my husband 4 weeks before surgery and had not had sex with him for years due to illness, so I didn't have sex until a year later when I was ready to start dating. All I can tell you is my experience to hopefully reassure you some.

I'm hornier than ever, have no problems with dryness or anything. The only problem I really experienced is that I lost skin tone..I now have the (I call) little old lady wrinkles in the skin on my arms. If I can tell you more please let me know, I will share whatever info I know. Also is your doctor a woman? Good luck with your decision and your surgery. Oh one last thing be sure that you get out of the bed asap and walk...even if only baby steps..it will help you recover faster.

I had a partial hysterectomy years ago due to severe bleeding fibroids. They left my ovaries and cervix and just removed the uterus. I had to decide on the cervix. It was recommended that it be removed. The cervix, however, plays a role in holding the bladder in place. Many woman suffer from a dropped bladder which must be attached to the abdominal wall etc and can cause other problems. I felt it would be better to continue my pap test regimen for the rest of my life rather than risk incontinence problems etc. I would definitely research this and discuss it with the doctor more. If you are at a higher risk for cervical cancer, your decision may be different than mine.

Good luck, Sharon

Shelby and Erika, thank you.

BnSinbville said:

Bless your heart sweetie. I'll be thinking of you. I can't answer all of your questions, but I had a hysto 3 years ago. They left my cervix, I had the last bits of both ovaries removed and my uterus. I had fibroids.

S, thanks for writing me! You say the last "bits" of your ovaries were removed. They were partially removed before this??

BnSinbville said:

All I can tell you is SEX IS GREAT FOR ME. ..I need no hormones or anything. My Doctor thinks its because I was just ready to start menopause??? who knows...I do think tho that a positive attitude is a plus, our minds can do wondrous things against all odds.

..I'm hornier than ever, have no problems with dryness or anything.

Wow, it's great to hear all of this! Did you not have mood swings, no hot flashes, none of that?

BnSinbville said:

I had lost my husband 4 weeks before surgery and had not had sex with him for years due to illness, so I didn't have sex until a year later when I was ready to start dating.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and what timing. It must have been awful for you.

BnSinbville said:

The only problem I really experienced is that I lost skin tone..I now have the (I call) little old lady wrinkles in the skin on my arms.

From what I've read, this is due to the slowing down of the production of collagen in the skin, related to the decrease in estrogen. An estrogen cream helps (even low dose). Collagen keeps our skin and muscles young and supple. I'm all for that!

BnSinbville said:

Also is your doctor a woman?

Yes, she is. I've been seeing this doctor for ob/gyn for a few years now. She seems compassionate and very knowledgeable.

I know that your physical recovery was happening during the time of your widowhood, and it was quite awhile before you were having sex again. But I wonder, do you know how long your recovery took, sexually speaking? After you did start having sex again, was anything different? Were your orgasms "different" or diminished at all? Was it harder to self-lubricate (took longer)?

How long did your recovery in general take....until you were up and around, doing normal things (like, able to do a desk job)?

I'm so glad to hear that your libido stayed strong. Thanks for all your help, and if you think of anything else, just let me know! I'm all ears.

Hugs, TS

NJCouple said:

I had a partial hysterectomy years ago due to severe bleeding fibroids. They left my ovaries and cervix and just removed the uterus. I had to decide on the cervix. It was recommended that it be removed. The cervix, however, plays a role in holding the bladder in place. Many woman suffer from a dropped bladder which must be attached to the abdominal wall etc and can cause other problems. I felt it would be better to continue my pap test regimen for the rest of my life rather than risk incontinence problems etc. I would definitely research this and discuss it with the doctor more. If you are at a higher risk for cervical cancer, your decision may be different than mine.

Good luck, Sharon

Sharon, thanks! No, I'm not at higher risk for cancer; if anything, lower risk. There's no family history here. My granny is 98 and lives on her own! We're a healthy bunch. I don't smoke, I eat extremely healthy, exercise, a very clean-living type.

I know what you mean about the bladder. I have a friend whose bladder was actually falling out through her vagina! Due to total hysterectomy. Poor thing!!! She had to have it surgically "tacked up". She is one of the women I know whose libido is completely dead now, too.

NJCouple said:

They left my ovaries and cervix and just removed the uterus.

In some women, the ovaries keep on working just fine, producing hormones. In others, the ovaries soon fail after the hysterectomy, anyway. Are yours still working? No menopause yet? That would be great, but my ovaries really do have to go.

How long was your recovery time before you could comfortably have sex? How long until you were feeling normal and able to do typical things, and have a normal amount of stamina?

And may I ask....how is your libido?

Thanks.

I've always had a high sex drive and was not about to let surgery slow me much. LOL. Hubby and I had sex without penetration within a week of surgery. I waited several weeks for more. My ovaries worked fine for years after.

It has been 14 years now and only within the past 2 years have I started taking hormones. I did not do this because of libido, but because of mood swings. I did not really want to murder my husband. LOL. I am currently on activella, a very low level hormone replacement. My ovaries still kick in every few months, but this helps to regulate things for me.

I have had no problems with lubrication, desire, feeling etc. If anything our sex life is so much better. There is no concern about pregnancy and not getting my period is wonderful! I actually feel kind of smug when other couples' play time is cramped by "that time of month." It makes me feel more of a woman as I can please my husband without having these concerns.

I think a lot of the lack of desire is in the mental attitude and so I chose my unusual outlook to compensate. It works for me. If you have a positive outlook on getting a hysterectomy, it can work in your favor. Remember there are many solutions to the side affects and most women do not have major problems after menopause, particularly if they pursue trying to solve problems as they arise. I would look at this as something positive, that will enhance rather than detract from your sex life.

Regards,

Sharon

S, thanks for writing me! You say the last "bits" of your ovaries were removed. They were partially removed before this??

TS- I'd had parts of both removed when I was 13, I had cyst on each.

Wow, it's great to hear all of this! Did you not have mood swings, no hot flashes, none of that?

NO, no mood swings, no hot flashes, no night sweats...none of it and I don't have migraines any more either!

I'm so sorry for your loss, and what timing. It must have been awful for you.

Thanks, it was pretty traumatic, but we knew he was dying and I knew sooner or later that I would have to have the surgery...just not then

Glad to hear your Dr. is a woman, they understand what you are going thru. They also are better at alternate options than a man.

recovery was pretty fast.. I had surg on Wed, came home on Fri and walked 300 yards to the mail box on Sat. (very slowly) As for sex... I was all but attacking one of sons friends on New Years Eve!!! LOL found out I like that young stuff!!! I think all in all sex is better, don't have to worry about periods and with fibroids at times it could be uncomfortable...great now. Orgasms are better for me!!! Doesn't take long for self-lube either...just that thoughts of sex can have me warmer and wet.

I could have gone back to work the beginning of Dec (6 weeks) but decided to take more time off due to all the emotional stuff I was going thru after losing my husband of 29 years. I was running a gauntlet of emotions including feeling guilty that is was over..so that was a different thing than the hysterectomy.

Are you going to have an incision or do the surgery vag? I have a huge scar from my belly button to my pubic bone. But that is how they did the surgery years ago the first time. Today they do a tiny little cut like a bikini line, due to the other surg I couldn't do this and the fact that I am a PLUS SIZE BARBIE!!!

If I think of anything else I'll let you know....just walk, walk, walk!!!

Hugs from the Heart......... S

NJCouple said:

I have had no problems with lubrication, desire, feeling etc. If anything our sex life is so much better. There is no concern about pregnancy and not getting my period is wonderful! I actually feel kind of smug when other couples' play time is cramped by "that time of month."

I know that feeling. When two couples with two menstruating women are trying to synchronize our play schedules, it can be tough! We've had to be on the sidelines at what would have been fun parties or weekends, if not for Aunt Flo accompanying us.

NJCouple said:

It makes me feel more of a woman as I can please my husband without having these concerns. I think a lot of the lack of desire is in the mental attitude and so I chose my unusual outlook to compensate. It works for me. If you have a positive outlook on getting a hysterectomy, it can work in your favor. Remember there are many solutions to the side affects and most women do not have major problems after menopause, particularly if they pursue trying to solve problems as they arise. I would look at this as something positive, that will enhance rather than detract from your sex life.

Regards,

Sharon

I agree, mental attitude can go a long way. Thanks for that. I've heard, and know some people personally, with scary stories. I'll try to look beyond that and try to keep my own experience as positive as possible. I'm definitely not the kind to give up if I run into trouble; I keep chipping away until I get a resolution. I'll remember what you said.

I looked up your Activella hormone replacement. I see it's plant-based (not that horse urine stuff). I like that, and I like that you say it's low-dose. I'm going to ask my doctor about that.

Hugs and thanks!

We will most likely be in your position in the future and the same fears have been discussed so I'm looking forward to some of the responses here.

Best of luck to you Tybee Swing. Make sure you let us know how things go!

lovinher said:

We will most likely be in your position in the future and the same fears have been discussed so I'm looking forward to some of the responses here.

You're so right. One way or the other, whether naturally or surgically, all of us have to go though this sooner or later...and our husbands along with us!

lovinher said:

Best of luck to you Tybee Swing. Make sure you let us know how things go!

Thanks. Actually, I have an update already!

I am fighting to keep my cervix and uterus, which are actually apparently quite healthy (and like I said, no history or serious concerns about cancer). My doctor had her reasons for wanting it all out (erring on the side of caution). I have many reasons for wanting to keep those, including my orgasms!!! I'm one of those women that is very multi-orgasmic, orgasms easily, and has those very deep "vaginal" orgasms with no clitoral stimulation needed. Those "vaginal" orgasms are in reality, much deeper than that...it's really the uterus and cervix that are involved in those! Take those away from me and I WILL be a different woman, sexually. It's one of my risks. Other risk factors are very unsexy things like urinary and/or bowel incontinence, and a higher risk of those parts prolapsing....dropping. UGH!

After I explained my sexuality in great detail, how my husband and I fit now and what I stand to lose in the fit department if my cervix is cut out, top of the vagina sewn shut (making vaginal canal shorter and smaller), etc. etc., she really heard me. She acknowledged that my type (orgasmically) isn't the norm, and she understands what I'm telling her. About the fit, I'm already tight and my husband is hung big. We already have to work things in and he already has to be careful to not bang anything in there. If things were smaller/shorter, he might possibly not even be able to fully enter me or ever really "thrust" in me again. My orgasms could be "killed" or greatly diminished. It would be a huge and very heartbreaking loss for us, if all this stuff happened to us. I was communicating everything I could, so we'd be taken for the individuals we are, and everything considered! My doctor now knows more about us sexually and biologically than most of our swing friends do. LOL! I even gave her my husband's precise measurements so she would GET what it is I'm working with, here! She got it. I WON!

We agreed that unless the immediate pathology (giant cyst sent to lab while I'm still under) comes back with bad stuff, my cervix and my uterus will STAY!

The surgery I'm going to have now is actually not a hysterectomy (removal of uterus), but actually called an oophorectomy (removal of ovaries and fallopian tubes). Plus, the removal of this 8" cyst. This means I still will go into instant surgically-induced menopause with the loss of the ovaries, but I can deal with that. She and I had a good conversation about combinations of low-dose hormones, etc.

In case anyone's interested in the connection between hysterectomy (uterus/cervix removal) and the deep-down orgasms that some women have, here's some of the medical data I collected and used as my "ammo" with the doc:

From WebMD article -

"A subtotal or partial hysterectomy removes the uterus above the cervix but leaves the cervix intact. Fewer nerves are severed during this procedure, so the bladder, bowel, and sexual functions aren't as damaged."

possible sexual complications from hysterectomy:

"Decreased pleasure during orgasm: Orgasm can result from stimulation of the clitoris, uterus, or both. Pressure on the cervix, the uterus, and its surrounding ligaments and membranes can heighten an orgasm.

Diminished sex life: Some women find that a hysterectomy increases their quality of life, leaving them free from bleeding and pain that can dramatically affect their sex life. Unfortunately, the majority of women report their sex life diminishes after a hysterectomy, largely due to the effects of surgical menopause, which can reduce vaginal lubrication, but also because they lose some sensation during intercourse involving the penis's pressure on the cervix, the uterus, and surrounding ligaments and membranes, which for some women can produce an intense and pleasurable orgasm that is different than simple clitoral stimulation. Women who experience primarily clitoral orgasms may not experience a difference in their sex life. Intercourse can also be affected if the vagina has been shortened during surgery; in this case, scar tissue may form in the vagina or pelvis, resulting in pain during sex."

From another WebMD article: "For some women, sex after hysterectomy -- removal of the uterus -- can create loss of sensation -- loss of intense female orgasms, Berman explains. If women don't have severe pelvic pain or bleeding, or cancer, they should look at other options to hysterectomy," says Berman."

"Female orgasms involving deep pelvic contractions -- "vaginal orgasms" -- may be affected by loss of sensation after hysterectomy, she tells WebMD."Those women will still have clitoral orgasms, albeit less intense and less satisfying, they won't lose that ability altogether."

The complete article: https://www.webmd.com/women/news/20031002/better-sex-after-hysterectomy#1

Are you going to have an incision or do the surgery vag? I have a hugh scar from my belly button to my pubic bone. But that is how they did the surgery years ago the first time. Today they do a tiny little cut like a bikini line, due to the other surg I couldn't do this and the fact that I am a PLUS SIZE BARBIE!!!

 

If I think of anything else I'll let you know....just walk, walk, walk!!!

 

Hugs from the Heart......... S

S, thanks again!

To answer you, I cannot have it vaginally removed (much quicker recovery with that; wish I could). I have to have it abdominally removed, because this cyst is so big.

I already have a low bikini line scar that's only 11 months old...this is from my extensive around-the-world lower body lift (including a tummy tuck with ab muscle repair), which I had after completing weight loss. I have LOVED this tummy, and I worked so hard to get it. I don't want to lose it.

However, due to the size of this cyst, my doctor may have to go beyond the horizontal bikini cut and go UP my pelvic area with a scar (like an inverted "T"). Worst case scenario, above my navel. This would be heartbreaking for me, after all I've been through to finally have this smooth, flat belly. She knows all about my surgery, my weight loss before that, and all of it. She knows that I want her to do everything in her power to not cut up my abdomen. She promised she will try. She said she'll get an associate surgeon in there with her to try to work this cyst out through the bikini line - but they can't risk bursting it, either.

If I'd had this cyst before my tummy was fixed, it would go much easier for her. As it is, my abs are very tight (also due to the fact that I work out a lot, plus the surgical fix), and the skin of my belly is tight, too. If everything was still all stretched out like it was before, she could move around in there a lot easier.

I asked her if she can patch up my abdominal muscles as brilliantly as my plastic surgeon had done; she said that should be no problem. With a lot of luck, maybe my tummy will stay looking like it does now (but without the distention from the cyst, of course). I hope and pray...and I'm crossing everything for that!

TS, I have no doubts that you will come thru this wonderfully.. you are very fortunate to have such a great doc. It sure pays to do your homework, which it sounds like you did. Thankfully you don't have to go thru this alone...good luck to you and hubby getting past all this. S.

Hi Tybee Swing,

I reached menopause naturally but very quickly (regular periods one month & then "poof", no more periods). As a result, I didn't go through long periods of mood swings due to fluxuating hormones, but instead went straight to the "virtually non-existant sex hormones" phase - also called post-menopause.

The fact that I went from pre- to post- menopause so quickly, I thought my experience may be very similar to what you might go through with your ovaries being removed so here's my story ...

The biggest changes I noticed after menopause were dryer skin and wrinkles, almost non-existant vaginal lubrication, lower libido and less able to orgasm even when aroused (not that I ever had a high libido or was ever able to orgasm easily, but it was noticeably lower, which was even worse), and abnormally early and rapid onslaught of osteoporosis.

I was put on estrogen (estradiol in the form of a once a day pill), progesterone (a Meridian intrauterine device with a 10 year lifespan) and testosterone (a large pea-sized squirt of Androgel transdermal gel once a day).

I've been on that combination for about a year now and although my skin is still dry and wrinkley (particularly on my hands), my vaginal lubrication is even better than it was before I reached menopause, my libido and ability to orgasm (I call it a functioning "trigger") are slightly higher/easier than before, and the onslaught of osteoporosis has virtually stopped.

Just a note about testosterone for women ... although many doctors won't prescribe it for women because of the risk of unwanted and irreversable effects and because they haven't done enough research on the long-term affect of synthetic testosterone on women, testosterone is an important part of the sex hormone trio. The problem is, we need far less and are way more sensitive to its effect. All the testosterone-related effects such as increased libido, increased ability to orgasm, increased aggression, increased facial/body hair, lowering of the voice, and increased clitoral size are VERY closely related to how big a "pea-sized" squirt of Androgel you use, and if you take too much, some of the effects, such as a lower voice and an enlarged clitoris, are not reversable on reduction of the dose. Unfortunately a higher libido and the ability to orgasm easily IS a reversable effect, lol.

I don't know if any of this will help you, but hopefully you can get something out of it ... I feel for you ... after having gone through so much to get yourself in the shape you're in now, I'm sure you're torn between wanting to maintain yourself as close as you can to your new self and wanting to do what you need to do to be healthy and live a long life.

Good luck to you ... HUG!!

M (of M&H)

https://www.hystersisters.com/

Board for women who have BTDT.

At some point you might want to explore bio identical hormone replacement rather than HRT.

ASK or even pay out of pocket for lab work NOW on your hormone levels...all of them, including testosterone. You like how you feel now, so knowing the levels you want to keep is important, IMO. Might make it easier to get back to what feels good.

All the hormones can be manipulated thru creams, patches etc to bring you to feeling nearly the same as now, maybe even better!

Good luck and get well soon.

Hi Tybee Swing,

 

I reached menopause naturally but very quickly (regular periods one month & then "poof", no more periods). As a result, I didn't go through long periods of mood swings due to fluxuating hormones, but instead went straight to the "virtually non-existant sex hormones" phase - also called post-menopause.

 

The fact that I went from pre- to post- menopause so quickly, I thought my experience may be very similar to what you might go through with your ovaries being removed so here's my story ...

 

The biggest changes I noticed after menopause were dryer skin and wrinkles, almost non-existant vaginal lubrication, lower libido and less able to orgasm even when aroused (not that I ever had a high libido or was ever able to orgasm easily, but it was noticeably lower, which was even worse), and abnormally early and rapid onslaught of osteoporosis.

 

I was put on estrogen (estradiol in the form of a once a day pill), progesterone (a Meridian intrauterine device with a 10 year lifespan) and testosterone (a large pea-sized squirt of Androgel transdermal gel once a day).

 

I've been on that combination for about a year now and although my skin is still dry and wrinkley (particularly on my hands), my vaginal lubrication is even better than it was before I reached menopause, my libido and ability to orgasm (I call it a functioning "trigger") are slightly higher/easier than before, and the onslaught of osteoporosis has virtually stopped.

 

Just a note about testosterone for women ... although many doctors won't prescribe it for women because of the risk of unwanted and irreversable effects and because they haven't done enough research on the long-term affect of synthetic testosterone on women, testosterone is an important part of the sex hormone trio. The problem is, we need far less and are way more sensitive to its effect. All the testosterone-related effects such as increased libido, increased ability to orgasm, increased aggression, increased facial/body hair, lowering of the voice, and increased clitoral size are VERY closely related to how big a "pea-sized" squirt of Androgel you use, and if you take too much, some of the effects, such as a lower voice and an enlarged clitoris, are not reversable on reduction of the dose. Unfortunately a higher libido and the ability to orgasm easily IS a reversable effect, lol.

 

I don't know if any of this will help you, but hopefully you can get something out of it ... I feel for you ... after having gone through so much to get yourself in the shape you're in now, I'm sure you're torn between wanting to maintain yourself as close as you can to your new self and wanting to do what you need to do to be healthy and live a long life.

 

Good luck to you ... HUG!!

 

M (of M&H)

M, thanks for all of this, it is very informative! I'll keep this in mind. Due to my current needs (too many details to explain it all here), we're going to start with a blend of all three hormones, and we're going to start HRT immediately post-op. I need to not crash-and-burn emotionally and physically right now, for a multitude of good reasons.

Thanks for all you said about testosterone for women, and what to watch out for. I definitely don't want to become a Sasquatch or have a voice like James Earl Jones! However, I wouldn't mind that large clit thing. In fact, I have kind of a kinky fascination with those and I'd love to meet a woman with one. I'm a Perv...I know! My libido is not dead, yet.

Seriously though..thanks for sharing all of this with me! I'm feeling very supported here tonight.

However, I wouldn't mind that large clit thing. In fact, I have kind of a kinky fascination with those and I'd love to meet a woman with one. I'm a Perv...I know!

It's been interesting watching mine grow. Sometime I need to get good pics. With the hood pulled back I can see a head and the start of a real shaft.

Thank you Tribbles,

I will look at that website!

tribbles said:

At some point you might want to explore bio identical hormone replacement rather than HRT.

Yes, I'm very interested in this. Compounding pharmacies can prepare these, and we have a compounding pharmacy just down the street, fortunately (they can be hard to find). For the long haul, after the dust settles, I'll have time to learn more and pursue this.

tribbles said:

ASK or even pay out of pocket for lab work NOW on your hormone levels...all of them, including testosterone. You like how you feel now, so knowing the levels you want to keep is important, IMO. Might make it easier to get back to what feels good.

Funny thing, I did ask my doctor's office for this today! I'm almost out of time, the surgery is early tomorrow morning. As soon as I see my doc at the hospital, I'll ask for the test. I've read that a simple saliva test is the best test - hopefully we'll get this done before they wheel me back in the morning. Got to catch it now before the ovaries are gone.

tribbles said:

All the hormones can be manipulated thru creams, patches etc to bring you to feeling nearly the same as now, maybe even better!

It's great news and reassuring to know I won't have to be Jekyll/Hyde, depressed, miserable, etc. All we need is to strike the right balance and things should be fine.

tribbles said:

It's been interesting watching mine grow. Sometime I need to get good pics. With the hood pulled back I can see a head and the start of a real shaft.

OMG!! It's not nice to make a poor girl all horny the night before her surgery.

Mr. Tybee is going to get it tonight, big time. I need to love him up with about a month's worth of lovin' to tide him over while we wait to heal.

After tonight, he'll have to settle for a long series of bj's - poor man!

OMG!! It's not nice to make a poor girl all horny the night before her surgery.

Better than scared.

And if you can't get the hormone tests done, don't worry...many, many people have figured out what felt best for them with hormone replacement and a good doctor.

Hi Tybee,

https://www.menopause.org/for-women

The above link is a good site for menopause information.

I am 45 and reached natural menopause about 3 years ago (starts early in my family). I have not had that many problems so far (knocking on wood). My sex drive is better than ever, I experience vaginal dryness periodically but lubes help, and I suffer from hot flashes only once or twice a week. In fact, menopause has been quite a bit easier for me then perimenopause was.

When I became perimenopausal at 38, I suffered horrible hot flashes and night sweats, nasty mood swings, severe depression, very low to zero sex drive, and my skin became dry and itchy. My gyn had me on all types of pills, creams, and patches. Oh, and growing hair in places I never had hair before wasn't fun either .

Today, happy pills control my mood swings and depression. Exercise produces natural testosterone so I am able to maintain a good testosterone level with daily exercise (you may not have a problem since you are already active). Unwanted hair is plucked and my itchy dry skin improved once I reached menopause.

Of course the wonderful thing about menopause is no more monthlies.

I wish you the best of luck tomorrow.

sb

Not exactly the same procedure, but I had one ovary and fallopian tube removed about 15 years ago. I had a ruptured etopic (sp?) pregnancy, and the rupture was so severe it damaged one ovary, and of course the tube was shot.

Since I had the other side intact the hormones, etc. did not get screwed up - in fact the etopic pregnancy was the last of ten pregnancies - nine prior miscarriages - all from screwed up hormones. My doctor said the ovary that was destroyed was the culprit for the screwed up hormone levels and after that all was well.

My reason for telling you this is that the recovery for my surgery - a bikini cut incision (used the same incision as 6 prior surgery scars, including c-sections from successful pregnancies) was also six weeks.

A few people have said 'walk, walk, walk, and I agree completely. I joked with my doctor about putting a zipper in because he opened me up so many times. WALKING is a huge help.

We were able to have non-intercourse sex after about seven to ten days, usually. And very carefully have intercourse after about 4-5 weeks. Sex as 'normal' was about 7 weeks later. Granted, you are having more removed so it could be a bit different, especially if they do the T incision.

I applaud you for taking a stand on the removal of your uterus and cervix!! My mother had everything removed MANY years ago and has been incontinent ever since (she's in her 80's now).

I really feel for you. Especially after all the work you did to get into shape! I hope they don't have to do the T shape incision - it would take longer to heal. It's amazing how much they can pull out of a little space - my three children for example!! (c-section deliveries).

I will be thinking of you tomorrow! Good luck, and we will all be patiently awaiting an update AFTER the surgery!

Sarah

Tybee...I know you are already asleep by now, but wow! I just wanted to say that you and your family will be in mine and MrsVan's thoughts all day today! I know everything will turn out just fine and we look forward to having you back on the board soon!

VanHlebar said:

Tybee...I know you are already asleep by now, but wow! I just wanted to say that you and your family will be in mine and MrsVan's thoughts all day today! I know everything will turn out just fine and we look forward to having you back on the board soon!

Dito

I have been looking at this thread and wondering what I could possibly say that would be helpful, comforting, reassuring. I think Van summed up our thoughts perfectly.

Tybee, I just wanted to stop in and say that while I know you are already having the surgery, our thoughts and best wishes are with you. I am sure you will come through this with flying colors and I was pleased to hear you won the fight with your doctor. It will probably be a bit before we hear back from you on how you are doing, and we all look forward to it.

Best wishes,

Mr. & Mrs. MLK

It is funny... We traveled to Florida for Thanksgiving and passed Savannah... We couldn't help but think of the Tybees. We jabbered and jabbered about the two of them approaching and passing both ways. It is funny how easily people become part of our family around here.

It is funny and wonderful how quickly they become people that we care about.

Our thoughts are with you as well!! Get well soon and let us know how you are!

Many **HUGS**

Tybee,

Spoo mentioned this thread to me yesterday and I have not had a chance to get on the board. I'm sorry it is now past your surgery and I am just getting around to posting.

As I read I was hoping you would change your doctors mind about taking everything...so glad to know you finally convinced her to only take what was necessary.

You'll be in my thoughts and we'll be hoping for a speedy recovery, minimal scars, and a high libido.

Tybee, I hope your surgery went well. You did a good job in sticking to your guns about not taking everything. We'll miss you while you aren't able to be here. I wish a speedy recovery to you.

Vol

get better soon beautiful.

you will be missed.

Tybee,

Sorry that I could not post to this thread before your surgery as I have not been on the board very much this week, but MrVan told me about it and although you are probably done with surgery at this point and hope recovering well, know that you have been in my thoughts throughout the day.

It is great that you stuck to your guns and did what you felt to be the right thing for you. Once you have recovered, please let us know how you are doing and that you are recovering at home.

We will miss you on the board during the meantime but again just know that we are all thinking of you.

PS- sending a big kiss and hug your way as I wish I could give to you in person to help you get through this. But I think the best thing that we can offer to you is our friendship and our wishes to a speedy recovery.

A big ditto to everyone before me.

I hope everything works out well, and that you get feeling better ASAP.

Thoughts are with you.

Tybee,

Thinking of you and hoping your surgery went well. Just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts.

Sarah

Dear All,

I'm home! The doctor said I'd be in the hospital for 2-3 nights, but she let me come home the next evening, after only one night in the hospital. Everybody said I did very well. I would have started walking the first night, but there was a catheter in me. On day 2, after the catheter came out but still had the IV, I started taking walks every couple of hours. The nurses all thought I was doing exceptionally well with recovery, which made me feel good.

Great news: The huge cyst was benign (as I expected), and I woke up with my uterus and my cervix still intact, as requested!! More great news: I have a wide bikini line cut only...not the inverted "T" incision up my belly!!! The new incision is exactly where my earlier incision was.

My surgeon and her associate took the time to work the cyst out of me. She said it was the size of a partially-deflated basketball, a little bigger than they even thought it was originally. Doc said that everyone was running around trying to find a camera to take a picture of it before it went off to the pathology lab, but they couldn't find one. I would have liked to have seen that. My ovaries and fallopian tubes are gone, as expected (oophorectomy). Even though I'm swollen from surgery, my belly is a lot flatter already. Mr. Tybee and I had named the cyst "Mortimer" the first time we saw it on the CT scan a couple of weeks ago. I looked and felt pregnant, it was so big, round and tight! Now that Mortimer has been delivered, I should be flat again real soon and wearing all of my clothes again.

As of this morning, I'm on hormone replacement therapy for estrogen, progesterone and a little testosterone (all the things I'll be missing with my ovaries gone). My new meds for now are Estratest and Provera. I'll let you know how it goes with these.

So far, I'm still horny. Mr. Tybee stayed with me at the hospital. Whenever I'd wake up and look over at him sleeping on that cot, I just wanted to grab him up and pull him into my bed. I'm still thinking about sex as much as I ever did. So far, so good with my libido...even on morphine and in pain, I still had it. hehe!

all for the kind and thoughtful posts! It was so nice to come home to all of this. You all are wonderful. We really do get to be friends here, even just through posting.

Spoos, you have to promise to stop in Savannah next time you come through!

Big hugs and , TS

Well this is just wonderful news! I am so happy it worked out!

I'm so happy to hear that you're home, doing well and that your cervix and uterus are still intact. This is really wonderful to hear.

I'm so glad it went so well!!

Such wonderful news! Thanks for taking the time (and energy) to reply!

Sarah

Thanks for coming to tell us the good news so soon!

We were all thinking of you and sending warm thoughts.

Way to go, Tybee!! I'm so happy that things are going so well for you. Thank you for letting us know how you are doing.

Vol

Tybee,

Glad to hear that you are doing well! It is so nice to hear from you after thinking about you after your original post. Thanks for taking the time to respond and let us know how things went.

I wish you a very speedy recovery so you can get back to enjoying MrTybee.

Kisses to you!

WoooooooooooooooooHoooooooooooooooooo Girl, so glad to hear that everything is going good.... just knew you could do it and come out on top!!

Just thankful you are ok.

Tybee, I didn't think we'd hear from you for a while. It is so good to see you are feeling well enough to come on and let us know how your doing. So glad to hear it all went well.

Spoo is bouncing around about the FL Gators just winning the SEC Championship game but he told me to tell you he's for your good news too.

Tybee Swing said:

Spoos, you have to promise to stop in Savannah next time you come through!

The drive was long and we have decided the next trip south will be on a plane but if we land anywhere near Savannah we'll be sure to look you up.

Tybee,

Hope all is going well at home. The recovery isn't necessarily any better at home than at the hospital, but at least you have some comfort from friends and family.

Just want you to know that we are thinking of you and hoping the best for your recovery.

Sarah

Tybee,

Wow -- what wonderful news! Keep the strength, and we hope you'll be back to your "bad girl" self soon

Hi guys,

Thanks for all the wonderful thoughts and wishes!

I'm healing nicely, I think. Sleepy a lot, and I have to pace myself to get a few simple things done around the house (take a lot of breaks). I still take pain meds as needed, but trying to cut back. I'm not big on meds and try to avoid them if I can. I hate to feel drugged!

I've been reading and studying everything I can on sudden menopause (surgical menopause). I'm monitoring myself closely to see if any of the possible symptoms are coming up. So far, my moods and my libido still seem stable and like "me". I've been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for four days now. I'll have to be watching and paying attention for weeks and months to come. I'll actually have to be paying attention always now, I guess!

I'm pretty anxious about all of this, and worry about some of the stuff I know about other women whom I know, and stuff I read online, posted by real women. I just have to hope and pray that won't be me, and I'm trying to focus on all the positive things I can do to make this turn out better. I've learned that a lot of what I already do is just the right thing (what I eat, other healthy stuff), and as soon as I'm able I'll be back in the gym doing my thing again. I'm more motivated than ever, since learning that can help a lot in keeping me sexually healthy.

There is a lot of negativity on most of the menopause and hysterectomy websites. I need to learn from them and read the articles, but I have to watch out to not go there too much and not let that stuff get me down. Maybe the women who frequent those boards and post a lot are more of the ones with major issues, and maybe the women who had things go smoothly and are very proactive about their health, very positive, aren't often on those boards. Wish I could talk to more of those women, though! Meanwhile, I'll keep talking to myself and telling myself that I'll get back in the saddle sooner, get back to my sex life sooner, etc. etc.

Mr. Tybee has been a wonderful nurse. He's always there for me, and I appreciate him so much. Oh boy, now I'm working up a fantasy about seducing a male nurse! facelick Yes, I'm still the same dirty-minded girl...thank goodness! LOL

Tybee,

I am glad your healing and doing well. Just to give you some of the other side, my sister had one years ago, said it was the best thing she ever did. I have also heard that from other women! Best thing about it hon, no more periods!! Keep a positive frame of mind and you are going to breeze through this!

Blessings

Mrs PL

Thanks, Mrs. PL!

Best thing about it hon, no more periods!!

I already cleaned out a whole drawer in the bathroom of my monthly necessities, including a bottle of Pamprin. Yes, that will be a nice plus! And especially in the lifestyle....no more cancelled plans with couples just because a Visitor showed up.

Tybee Swing said:

There is a lot of negativity on most of the menopause and hysterectomy websites. I need to learn from them and read the articles, but I have to watch out to not go there too much and not let that stuff get me down. Maybe the women who frequent those boards and post a lot are more of the ones with major issues, and maybe the women who had things go smoothly and are very proactive about their health, very positive, aren't often on those boards. Wish I could talk to more of those women, though! Meanwhile, I'll keep talking to myself and telling myself that I'll get back in the saddle sooner, get back to my sex life sooner, etc. etc.

Tybee, so glad to hear you're doing well.

Don't let all this stuff you read get to you too much. You are probably reading more of the woman who have problems then the ones who don't. Those woman are out enjoying menopause and no cycle to deal with in making plans.

I'm not in the menopause phase yet but starting to show some signs of it. Every time I see my OBGYN I quiz him on whether or not I'm going to become some psycho bitch that hates sex. He always assures me that the majority of woman pretty much coast through with minor symptoms (hot flashes, some dryness) and I shouldn't worry.

I guess my point is learn what you can so you can be healthy and happy but don't read so much that you mentally start giving yourself the symptoms you are reading about. I had to just stop worrying and only check things out when I think something about what is going on with me is a result of menopause or something else. Hope that all made sense.

Keep up the positive thoughts