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eatscherry
11-02-2006, 12:28 AM
I lost the person I was swinging with early this year .Before we were together I went to clubs and meet women single and married .And most of the time I only had six girls that all know each other. Two of them had gilfriends that we shared . I'v tried having one girlfriend and I felt....wrong . So here I am getting back into it after being out for a little , and now it's couples only everywhere, and I'm in Sin City ! Where can I meet women that swing , mairred or not. And yes I have to meet there man. To swing is to be open with sex and there partners .Not to just do any thing that moves .And I have'nt seen any single women in here at all , what gives ? And why don't we all have a necklace or pendent that is for swingers ? Should I post in a magazine or on line with Adultfriendfinder or Hornymatches ? Or should I just go to the clubs the way they are now ?

JustAskJulie
11-02-2006, 11:21 AM
The Red Rooster is open to single men and last I heard they had a shortage of good single men who understood the rules of swinging. You might want to check it out.

LikeMinds321
11-02-2006, 11:44 AM
And I have'nt seen any single women in here at all , what gives ?...Should I post in a magazine or on line with Adultfriendfinder or Hornymatches ? Or should I just go to the clubs the way they are now ?The Swingers Board isn't an ad site, but a discussion site, so you probably won't find women to swing with through here. But this is a great place to learn about swinging as a single male.

Please read the Singles and Swinging forum for some great threads.

Using an ad site would be better, as well as heading out to the clubs, as Julie recommended.

Good luck!

LM

eatscherry
11-03-2006, 01:18 AM
To be fair , I haven't been there in a year, and when I did it was geared to couples . And I'm not here trying to hook up, I wanted to know places that had a high single/female rate or hook-up with women. Besides ,if I could put a ad here , I'd leave a picture of my dick (your mouth would water). But I'm just here to talk . But why don't we get a pendent or something to show to each other that we swing .Or is there one that just didn't take off .

TNT
11-03-2006, 09:39 AM
Besides ,if I could put a ad here , I'd leave a picture of my dick (your mouth would water) .

Dear...That's the first thing you need to work on. This is coming from a woman who has seen many, many dicks and enjoys dick pics but....that kind of attitude will turn just about every woman off. If your dick is the only asset you have to attract women, you're going to be a lonely man at times. Yep, you'll probably come across those women who will only want to fuck your dick, but trust me, you'll be forgotten as soon as you pull out.

If you want to be a successful single man in swinging, take the time to read over this board and find out what couples and single women (yes, there are single women on this site) are looking for in a single male swinging partner.



But I'm just here to talk . But why don't we get a pendent or something to show to each other that we swing .Or is there one that just didn't take off .

Glad to hear you're just here to talk...and hopefully learn a thing or two :). And, yes there is a symbol that signifies swingers....do a search for swinger jewelry.


Teresa

Chicup
11-03-2006, 10:50 AM
To be fair , I haven't been there in a year, and when I did it was geared to couples . And I'm not here trying to hook up, I wanted to know places that had a high single/female rate or hook-up with women. Besides ,if I could put a ad here , I'd leave a picture of my dick (your mouth would water). But I'm just here to talk . But why don't we get a pendent or something to show to each other that we swing .Or is there one that just didn't take off .

Being a married swinger, a jewlery option would be nice except that the last thing either of us would want would be undesireable single males hounding her when she went out thinking she was an easy lay because she was identifying herself as a swinger. This would be true even if they had a mouth watering penis. :rollseyes

MoonLightKiss
11-03-2006, 01:50 PM
To be fair , I haven't been there in a year, and when I did it was geared to couples . And I'm not here trying to hook up, I wanted to know places that had a high single/female rate or hook-up with women. Besides ,if I could put a ad here , I'd leave a picture of my dick (your mouth would water). But I'm just here to talk . But why don't we get a pendent or something to show to each other that we swing .Or is there one that just didn't take off .

TNT is right, these kinds of comments could use some work. These will turn a woman off faster than anything else. For the most part, it is my understanding, that women, look for more than just a dick. And for me, it matters not what it looks like. Hung like a horse, or not, its the attitude of the man that gets him where he wants to be. If you were at a club and you approached me with that comment, I would walk away.

As far as a high single rate, I am not familiar enough with the sites to gear you in the right direction. But the jewelry is available. Google swinging jewelry is a good direction to start in. However, some don't choose to wear it. I don't even though I would like to. I am afraid that I will be in the store and someone might recongnize it, and well there goes my privacy. We live in a small town so others finding out would not help us at all. In fact, we probably would not be able to find work in order to pay bills and feed ourselves.

EternallySingle
11-03-2006, 09:04 PM
Excuse me, but did anyone but Julie read his first sentence, or did they forget it after everything else he said. He is a former swinger and wants to know how to get back into swinging as a single man. It is a different experience, especially for a single man that used to swing as a couple. There are suddenly different rules and different expectation from still married men and women.

If I could give him any answers, I would. But up until last year I was looking for the same answers. Now, I am not worried about it. IF it happens, it happens. If not, I'm not even going to put out the effort to look. In my opinion, going out with single women for vanilla relationships is far a more realistic use of my time than doing more than talking about swinging. Too many damaged people looking to slam single men before hearing them out. By the time we are really heard, we've either given up on swinging or given up on caring how couples feel.

I'm not saying not to try swinging, EatsCherry, but don't pay attention to the people that don't take your comments in the proper context. I thought it was funny that you would say the one thing every married swinger says they hate in single male profiles. LOL

Chicup
11-03-2006, 09:47 PM
Excuse me, but did anyone but Julie read his first sentence, or did they forget it after everything else he said. He is a former swinger and wants to know how to get back into swinging as a single man. It is a different experience, especially for a single man that used to swing as a couple. There are suddenly different rules and different expectation from still married men and women.

If I could give him any answers, I would. But up until last year I was looking for the same answers. Now, I am not worried about it. IF it happens, it happens. If not, I'm not even going to put out the effort to look. In my opinion, going out with single women for vanilla relationships is far a more realistic use of my time than doing more than talking about swinging. Too many damaged people looking to slam single men before hearing them out. By the time we are really heard, we've either given up on swinging or given up on caring how couples feel.

I'm not saying not to try swinging, EatsCherry, but don't pay attention to the people that don't take your comments in the proper context. I thought it was funny that you would say the one thing every married swinger says they hate in single male profiles. LOL

Sorry, but based on his postings I don't think its an act at all. If so then its just a troll :rollseyes

MoonLightKiss
11-03-2006, 10:13 PM
Excuse me, but did anyone but Julie read his first sentence, or did they forget it after everything else he said. He is a former swinger and wants to know how to get back into swinging as a single man. It is a different experience, especially for a single man that used to swing as a couple. There are suddenly different rules and different expectation from still married men and women.

No, I read the first sentence. But since I am neither single, nor a male, I can offer no advice on how to get into the lifestyle as a single. I was not trying to ignore it, nor diminish his request in any way. I simply had nothing to offer it. And no there are not different rules for couples and singles. I choose each play partner on their attitude and respect level.


I'm not saying not to try swinging, EatsCherry, but don't pay attention to the people that don't take your comments in the proper context. I thought it was funny that you would say the one thing every married swinger says they hate in single male profiles. LOL

If by chance this refers to me, then let me say, if I took it out of context, I will be the first to apologize. But like Chiccup said, based on other posts, I am not so sure he was not serious. But again, I could be wrong.

Nothing I said, I believe, was anything other than polite. I could have responded with a snotty ass remark. But I didn't. I POLITELY pointed out that those comments don't sound good. If he was joking, then that proves the point further. Sometimes people don't realize it is a joke. ESPECIALLY in written communication over oral.

eatscherry
11-04-2006, 02:33 AM
Sorry my joke sucked (I should have put LMAO), but I did come here to see if maybe I'm wrong in how I do things and meet people now. And yes I do take the women I see out and sometimes don't have sex (GASP). We all want more then just sex sometimes, but when I'm hitting it off with a girl and the husband get's wierd And then she has a ran over my dog look on her face , I'm lost ! But I did ask one guy why he did that and he said in short it's the way people do it now.

JustAskJulie
11-04-2006, 01:30 PM
To be fair , I haven't been there in a year, and when I did it was geared to couples . And I'm not here trying to hook up, I wanted to know places that had a high single/female rate or hook-up with women. Besides ,if I could put a ad here , I'd leave a picture of my dick (your mouth would water). But I'm just here to talk . But why don't we get a pendent or something to show to each other that we swing .Or is there one that just didn't take off .

Well it is a swingers club and THIS is a swinger site. If you are looking for single women to hook up with then you are probably looking in the wrong place. As far as the Rooster goes it's probably one of the MOST single male friendly swinger clubs in the country other than Thads in California, so if you can't make swinging work for you there you probably won't be making it work for you anywhere.

JustAskJulie
11-04-2006, 01:33 PM
Excuse me, but did anyone but Julie read his first sentence, or did they forget it after everything else he said. He is a former swinger and wants to know how to get back into swinging as a single man. It is a different experience, especially for a single man that used to swing as a couple. There are suddenly different rules and different expectation from still married men and women.


Sorry ES, I offered him the best advice I had for him, and he basically shot me down and more or less said that all he wanted was to hook up with single women. So, now I'm just confused.

*edit* According to this post (http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/showthread.php?p=253534#post253534) eatscherry actively swung as a single male before he was part of a couple... which leaves me that much more confused.

JustAskJulie
11-04-2006, 01:42 PM
But I did ask one guy why he did that and he said in short it's the way people do it now.


Did what? What's the way people do it now?

I really don't get why it should be any different for a single guy who used to swing as a couple getting into swinging than it is for a single guy who was never part of a couple (and I see plenty of both who are successful), in fact it should be easier for a single guy who was once part of a couple because he SHOULD alraedy understand the rules of the game and what couples are looking for/ expect out of single males.

The hard part for any single (male or female) who used to be part of a swinging couple is making that transition and I DO understand that as I have been there as a single female. Yes, you have to change the way you think, you have to go from being comfortable and knowing you have someone who has your back to being on your own. As a single female that seems to mean ending up as the "prey" for all too many married bi-women and couples who see "single bi-female" aka unicorn and go into full attack...er...entrapment...mode. For a single guy, I can imagine that would mean going from a situation where you have a partner and you and she are working together to pick your playmates... to being the single guy waiting to be picked. Which is probably as difficult to deal with as being the last kid picked in gym. So I guess with that thought maybe it is harder to go from half a couple to a single guy in swinging... at least for those single guys who were never half a couple they never got used to one set of rules to have them changed just because their status changed.

Basically, you have to choose. You can't have your cake and eat it too... you already lost your cake... now you have to find someone else's to eat. IMO, you pretty much do have to give up and decide to either A. Focus on being a single swinger or B. focus on finding a mate who is open minded and might potentially be a swinging mate in the future. While swinging is very much a part of who I am and while I could have very easily opted for choice A, I went for B. I casually dated until I found someone who was open-minded enough to accept me for me and to allow for the option of swinging in the future.

As someone else pointed out in an earlier post, the problem is waiting too long until you are in a relationship to be honest about who you are and what your desires are. The problem is also not taking the time to really dig deep into the person to find who they are and what they may be open to. The good news is if you tell them early enough you can get out before you get hurt and move on and continue your search.

EternallySingle
11-04-2006, 02:57 PM
If by chance this refers to me, then let me say, if I took it out of context, I will be the first to apologize. But like Chiccup said, based on other posts, I am not so sure he was not serious. But again, I could be wrong.

Nothing I said, I believe, was anything other than polite. I could have responded with a snotty ass remark. But I didn't. I POLITELY pointed out that those comments don't sound good. If he was joking, then that proves the point further. Sometimes people don't realize it is a joke. ESPECIALLY in written communication over oral.

That comment wasn't about you, but about him and how he responds to people in the lifestyle. As a single, swinging should be far down on his list of priorities. While I will admit I'm not actively looking to swing anymore (except for contemplating whether or not I will attend parties I'm invited to or spending those weekends actually meeting single women), I have done the single man swinging and,contrary to popular belief, there are different rules for single men than for women or couples.

One, single men have to balance being open about what they are looking for and taking into account that they are automatically looked upon with suspicion in this lifestyle. Too many married/attached men who are cheating on their S.O. make it hard for people to recognize the ones who are genuine. THAT is the biggest obstacle to any single man that wants to get into, or get back into, swinging. I only read four or five of his posts, and those were not very informative.

Being part of the lifestyle is now very different for me than when I was with my former gf/swing partner. Before, I had something to "share", so it was much easier to open a dialog with couples. I have made one or two actual friends that still give me the option to continue to swing because they still invite me to parties where there were more people looking for single men than not. It doesn't happen often (maybe once or twice a year), but it does happen. My luck holds that I'm invited to those parties after I've made dates to do things with single women.

Truthfully, I understand the suspicion couples have about single men. But I'm one of the few that have been on both sides of the issue, and at some point you have to give a person the benefit of the doubt, especially if he's just asking a question.

I didn't mean to step on anyone's toes, but everyone else was expressing their opinions, and I just expressed mine as well. Just because it wasn't popular doesn't mean it was wrong.

p.s. I didn't read the post you referred to, Julie.

MoonLightKiss
11-04-2006, 10:17 PM
ES then allow me to say I apologize for misunderstanding your post.

EternallySingle
11-05-2006, 01:47 AM
I'm not offended. Like I said, I was just expressing my opinion based on my experiences and how some of the comments EatsCherry reflected some of my doubts at times. IMO he (like many single men who swing) put a lot more emphasis on the sex aspect than the social aspect in most of his posts. Thats not bad, but its not realistic. Single men especially need write more about their realistic social expectations when writing about anything to do with swinging, because most couples who swing ARE more suspicious of our motives than they are of other couples and single females. Thats just the way it is, and if single men don't take that into account and tailor their approach and the words they use accordingly, they are going to fall into despair.

And comments from people that put them down (rather intentionally or inadvertantly) doesn't help anyone, especially the serious single men or the couples and/or single women that may want to meet them but don't know how to go about doing it safely.

stepping off my soapbox. I'm starting to get a nose bleed from the altitude. LOL

eatscherry
11-06-2006, 04:20 AM
Your right , I still have other things in my head ,so I dont want to get alot of other people in my problems if there trying to have fun .But I do want to be up to speed soon . I only see two of the lady's I used to swing with right now and a lady I see right now .I'll go to a few party's for shure .