My first swinging experiences...

Hey Everyone,

I'd like to post some of my swinging experiences. I'm not sure if this is the appropriate board or not.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm new to the swinging scene, not the sex scene, and I'm a gay guy. I'm a 23 year old voyeur, about to be 24 later this month. I love to watch male/female sex. It turns me on so much more than watching male/male sex.

I've only had sexual contact with guys up to 2 weeks ago. I went to a swingers club just to watch and masturbate watching people have sex. I've always wanted to try doing stuff with a female even though I knew it wouldn't turn me on sexually. So while I was at the club, this guy invited me to eat his wife's pussy. This was completely unexpected. So I dove right in and did it lol. I dont' know the female anatomy so I don't know if I did a good job or not. But it was so sexually liberating. As I expected, I didn't get turned on at all. But I liked doing it. It was totally cool with me. Then a little later, while we were still in the room, this guy took his dick out right by me and I did the same thing. Then he started to feel my ass and he put my hand on his dick. I was kinda surprised that that even happens in a swingers club. He said he wanted to do stuff with my female friend who was with me but I knew she wouldn't cause she's married. So then he said he would if we went into a room together. So then I got her to come into the room and just watch. And I sucked his dick. But not for long. He wanted her mostly I'm sure.

Anyway, the following week, I went alone. This couple that showed me and my friend around invited me to play with them. So I accepted. Again, I ate pussy. He wanted me to fuck her. But I couldn't get it up. So he kinda started touching me and sucked on me a little. Still, nothing. So that was that.

I didn't know that bi male/male action happens at these clubs. It's like the sexuality lines are blurred; at least in my case. I wanted to share this with everyone because I think it might be interesting. I remember when I went to another swingers club in my area before this one, which is just an expensive dance club with a theater, bedrooms, and loud music, I made a goal to do something with a guy in a swingers club. Looks like it happened without even trying. Again, all this was completely unexpected.

Platinum24

Swingers are an eclectic bunch. Not all of this lifestyle is "man on top of the woman, get it over with quick," sex. (My apologies to George Carlin for stealing and screwing up his line.) Bi men are not unheard of, as you quickly found out, but the majority are not, as you expected. Just be careful who you approach, and enjoy the encounters you have. After all, isn't this all about pleasure? I guarantee the women you played with liked what you were doing. Trust me when I say that's a good thing. Lord, that sounded so Martha Stewart, didn't it?

Ohhh ok =)

I wasn't sure if I was good or not. I'm really good at sucking dick. But I've heard of some people not being good at it and stuff. Oh believe me, I am really careful. I don't approach guys. With that first guy, I had actually used some very subtle cruising techniques. It wasn't hard to do since we were all standing around jacking off. I liked playing with the women. It was fun =)

Frankly Platinum, I think your story and your reply is your fantasy. I can not imagine this happening the way you describe it and I for one would not want to see or have you around any lifestyle party that I was involved in. That is MY opinion only and I may be wrong, but your story just doesn't fit the profile of a lifestyle event. I think you are just having some fun on our board.

I also think you would be much happier among your own people than trying to insert yourself where you do not belong. Again, I may be wrong, but my gut tells me different. Please, just go away.

Wow, it didn't take long for the narrow minded bigots to show up.

Boris

I posted to your other thread, but since it seems some may not be "buying" your tale, I'll threow in here as well.

All clubs are different. I suspect that few really condon male on male contact. If they do - or if it is common behind closed doors - then it seems to be a great place for you.

I would suspect - based on my experience only - that most men in the lifestyle are not bisexual. But, I also think that most men are not homophobic - which means that they don't freak out because of a person's sexual preferences. They may not want to play with you - or they may be weirded out by you watching (if they knew you were gay) - but generally speaking, they wouldn't tell you to "stick to your kind."

I am thinking that since you enjoy what you have done so far, to keep the details of your preference kind of under wraps. I think it would probably cause problems if people knew that you were a gay voyeur.

But - it sounds like you have found a fun club with some fun people who are open to your interests. Good for you!

Spoomonkey

Excuse me, likeitornot, but you may find this hard to believe: I have better things to do than to play around on a board and make up stories. This is true. I am a gay man who enjoys watching male/female sex. I can understand that it may be hard for you to believe as this may be rare. Lots of gay men are repulsed by having sex with a female. I learned that I'm not, as I suspected before. If you don't like what I'm saying on the board, then you have the right to not read it. Your guts are wrong and I'm not going away. As I said before, I've noticed that the sexuality lines seem to blur. I wouldn't want to be at a swingers club or a lifestyle party with a person like you either. I came hear to learn about, share my experiences, and embrace this new discovery in my sexuality and this lifestyle.

I am thinking that since you enjoy what you have done so far, to keep the details of your preference kind of under wraps. I think it would probably cause problems if people knew that you were a gay voyeur.

I understand your point, and somewhat agree with it Spoo. However.....isn't it being disingenuous going to a club and representing yourself as being straight or at the very least, bisexual, when one is gay How would you like to find out the single male that you went to a playroom with was gay......after he had enjoyed Mrs Spoo? Just a thought

Brett

I understand your point, and somewhat agree with it Spoo. However.....isn't it being disingenuous going to a club and representing yourself as being straight or at the very least, bisexual, when one is gay How would you like to find out the single male that you went to a playroom with was gay......after he had enjoyed Mrs Spoo? Just a thought

 

Brett

WildMicouple, that's not fair. Women and str8 guys can explore their sexualities freely. Str8 guys are usually welcomed into gay establishments, whether it be a club, bathhouse, groups on campus, etc. It's the same with women, whether they're str8, bi, or gay. What is it with bi and gay guys that everyone has a problem with? It's just a sexuality. If I were a lesbian interested in fooling around with a man, I'd be welcomed. Tell the truth, wouldn't I? But I catch flak for being a gay guy interested in fooling around with women, and I get told to go back to my world. Question: how would u like to find out the single female u just went into a playroom with was gay...after she had enjoyed a man? Just a thought.

Platinum24

WOW!

I agree with Boris, narrow mindedness is a bit out of place here.

I am a VERY straight male, and I would be upset if a man were to do something to me or even Jen without permission(or attempt to would be more to the point, the resultant "mild correction" would be ugly).

HOWEVER, if platinum24 follows the simple rules of ask permission first and no means no, then beyond that, more power to ya!!

Who are any of us to comment or judge on the gender proclavities of another poster on this board? Not to mention the idea of whether or not the tale was fantasy or reality. First of all, who really cares, if ya like the story, big deal. Second, how many of us can honestly say that at one point or another we did not have a reality that started as a fantasy? Isn't that kind of how we all ended up here?

Welcome to the 21st Century, where hopefully that kind of blatent bigotry will soon be something we only shake our heads at, not have to face in reality.

soapbox Steppin' down now.

WildMicouple, that's not fair. Women and str8 guys can explore their sexualities freely. Str8 guys are usually welcomed into gay establishments, whether it be a club, bathhouse, groups on campus, etc. It's the same with women, whether they're str8, bi, or gay. What is it with bi and gay guys that everyone has a problem with? It's just a sexuality. If I were a lesbian interested in fooling around with a man, I'd be welcomed. Tell the truth, wouldn't I? But I catch flak for being a gay guy interested in fooling around with women, and I get told to go back to my world. Question: how would u like to find out the single female u just went into a playroom with was gay...after she had enjoyed a man? Just a thought.

 

Platinum24

The problem would be that you are not really interested in women, most swingers are not there to play male male, and I have a feeling it would be a major ego slapping for Mrs. Chicup if you couldn't get it up for her. Of course you could then mention you were gay, which would be rather annoying at that stage of the evening.

Don't see a lot of people berating the married women who show up to the club to play with other women ONLY.

And you damn sure don't see anyone telling them to "go back to their own kind".

I have to say that this double standard on same-sex play is the only really disappointing thing I've come across in this lifestyle. It shows that swingers in general are not as open minded as they claim to be.

Am I going to play with a guy in a club? No. But I'm not going to jump into the group room and get in the middle of an orgy either. You don't see me railing against the group room or the sick people who participate in orgies. (note sarcasm please) If it's not for you that's fine... but it might be just what other people want to see. How many women have posted on this board that they would LOVE to see guy-guy action because it really turns them on. A LOT. So you can't lay blanket statements out there that say nobody at the club is interested in that type of activity.

Or are we all really into swinging to do whatever the men want and to hell with what the women fantasize about?

Double standards really piss me off in case you couldn't tell.

Boris

Don't see a lot of people berating the married women who show up to the club to play with other women ONLY.

 

And you damn sure don't see anyone telling them to "go back to their own kind".

 

I have to say that this double standard on same-sex play is the only really disappointing thing I've come across in this lifestyle. It shows that swingers in general are not as open minded as they claim to be.

 

Am I going to play with a guy in a club? No. But I'm not going to jump into the group room and get in the middle of an orgy either. You don't see me railing against the group room or the sick people who participate in orgies. (note sarcasm please) If it's not for you that's fine... but it might be just what other people want to see. How many women have posted on this board that they would LOVE to see guy-guy action because it really turns them on. A LOT. So you can't lay blanket statements out there that say nobody at the club is interested in that type of activity.

 

Or are we all really into swinging to do whatever the men want and to hell with what the women fantasize about?

 

Double standards really piss me off in case you couldn't tell.

 

Boris

Boris I don't know what you are talking about in relation to this post. I think ye are fighting demons which are not located here. If you want to complain about bi-males not being accepted in swinging then we have many more threads for that.

But I catch flak for being a gay guy interested in fooling around with women, and I get told to go back to my world.

Platinum24

I personally couldn't care less what people do. To each their own. As long as your not not violating someone elses personal rights.....more power to ya platinum. But your not being honest with those you play with. The main reason we don't play with bi-males (along with gay males) hasn't even been addressed in this thread yet. It's because of the higher risk of HIV. There are enough std's we we have to worry about while playing, let alone playing with someone whose sexual orientation puts them in a significantly higher risk group of a deadly disease. Btw.....the other reason is male to male sex just turns me off anyway.

Platinum......it's about the honesty, plain and simple.

Brett

I understand your point, and somewhat agree with it Spoo. However.....isn't it being disingenuous going to a club and representing yourself as being straight or at the very least, bisexual, when one is gay How would you like to find out the single male that you went to a playroom with was gay......after he had enjoyed Mrs Spoo? Just a thought

 

Brett

Good point and great question!

I wasn't suggesting he tell folks he is straight - but I was saying to simply not say that he was gay. As you can tell - some folks have a strong reaction to that. Generally, I have found the board to be much more open minded than swinging's "real world".

Our club is not a place where ale on male play would be accepted. As a straight guy - that doesn't bother me one bit. But I am glad that people who have that interest find clubs that fit their interests.

Now - how would I feel if he were gay AFTER he had given my wife oral sex? A heck of a lot better than I would if I found out he were a cheater

To be honest, I never ask a guy if he is straight, bi or gay before we head into a play room. I simply make sure they know that I am straight. What he does with other folks is his business - what he does with us is ours. I assume that someone coming into a play room under those "guidelines" is either straight or bi, because he is only having sex with Mrs Spoo.

He can call himself what he wants, but if he enjoys sex with women... Well - if it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck...

If a guy told us he was gay during the flirting process, we would not go to a room with him. But, I also know there are plenty of folks out there who would entertain him - so live and let live.

And I agree with Chicup - I don't think Mrs Spoo would be too happy if a guy was only intro oral, for whatever reason. If he couldn't get it up - well that would be disappointing to say the least. I don't think it would be an ego hit for Mrs Spoo, though.

Or are we all really into swinging to do whatever the men want and to hell with what the women fantasize about?

No - Boris - we are not. But if there are men out there asking or forcing their wives to do things that they are uncomfortable with, then I suggest that they are some of the lowest forms of scum.

I would never ask my wife to play in a situation or with a person that she was not comfortable with. She respects me the same way, fortunately for me, and wouldn't ask me to have sex with another man. Also fortunate for me, that doesn't interest her in the least.

I am not going to start having sex with other men like some trained monkey just to show that I am "open minded" or to fulfill some woman's fantasy. To do so would be stupid and weak. I play within my comfort zones - and I respect the comfort zones of my spouse and playmates...

THAT is the open-minded-ness that really matters...

Spoomonkey

Well Spoo I wasn't suggesting that men go out and start screwing each other solely for the benefit of their women. What bothers me is that guys who want to do this basically can't without fear of reprisal, exclusion, or outright hatred. People seem to think because THEY won't do it then nobody else should either, and definitely not in the same club THEY are in! The reason it bothers me so much is that some people have to sacrifice what makes them happy to keep these bigots happy. Platinum24 is a good example of such a person who is being told he can't do what he wants even though he isn't hurting anyone. I can sympathize. It must the libertarian in me.

Chicup, I'm not fighting any personal demons in regards to this specific issue. I'm just intolerant of intolerance. There's no bigger turnoff in the world than seeing people act ignorant and ugly right in front of you. That was a nice deflection though.

Boris

How would you like to find out the single male that you went to a playroom with was gay......after he had enjoyed Mrs Spoo? Just a thought

 

Brett

If a gay man enjoyed a woman in a playroom- wouldn't he then be considered somewhat bisexual? I think he would be misrepresenting himself if he labeled himself gay.

Hell, if a woman could get a 100% gay man to go down on her- waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to go, for her! Most gay men, I know, loathe pussy. She's gotta be something special.

What bothers me is that guys who want to do this basically can't without fear of reprisal, exclusion, or outright hatred.

Honestly - this thread has just gone to two pages... With only one person saying anything remotely close to "outright hatred". I gotta say - we ARE proving to be a fairly tolerant bunch...

I'm just intolerant of intolerance.

It is this sort of double standard that has always made me see the "man behind the curtain". The "tolerance crowd" is always just as intolerant themselves...

A person has just as much right to be turned off by homosexual acts as another person has the right to be turned on. The problem is, neither side is very willing to "live and let live." Trust me - as a straight guy I read more crap about how everyone is a "little bit bi" that I realize those people are just as narrow minded as they say I am... Actually, probably more so. At least I allow others the freedom to define and identify their own sexual interests

I was at work yesterday talking to a friend and the conversation drifted towards religion. Well there has been a big "diversity and inclusion" push at my office for about two years. So - having just sat through "another" seminar about "tolerance" I looked at her and said, "you know - we should talk about religion. It isn't inclusive. Let's talk about being gay!"

It's just amazing to me how intolerant the whole "tolerance" issue really is

Spoomonkey

This thread has brought up a couple of things that I have always found to be interesting assumptions that I don't think are true in the real world.

The first one is that swingers are more open minded folks than the rest of society. I don't think this is true at all. It is true that we engage in an activity that others in society may not approve of, but that, by itself doesn't make us more open minded. It just means we have different interests.

In this case I think people have about the same reaction to a gay man at a swing club as the gays would have if a swinging couple showed up at a gay club looking for an MFM partner.

This is actually kind of a funny example for us as we have a local gay club that hosts a once a month swingers party. I haven't been to one of these parties but I understand that the swingers and gays stay in seperate parts of the bar and don't interact. I have thought about going just to find out what the gay people thought about these swingers. I have a suspicion it would be a lot the same as what we think of gays in our swing clubs.

At the clubs we go to Male/Male contact is strictly discouraged, does it happen, probably, but if anyone complains about it the persons engaged in it would be asked to leave.

As far as I'm concerned they should go to a gay club for that. I might piss some off by saying it, but I would prefer no Female/female only activity at the clubs either, but their sure is a lot of that (not bi activity, but women that come to the swing clubs just to hook up with other women).

My point is that if, for example, you went to a sports bar and started having sex on the table you would be tossed out in short order. So why is it any different at a swing club? I don't think it is narrow minded at all to expect that the activities at the club are limited to the intended purpose of the club. I don't have anything against anyone who wants to participate in the gay lifestyle, but at the same time I don't think it is narrow minded of me not to want to see it, I am sure a gay guy would find it equally disgusting if he had to watch me have sex with my wife at a gay club.

The first one is that swingers are more open minded folks than the rest of society. I don't think this is true at all.

This thread has done a lot to convince me that you're correct. My mistake was assuming the opposite was true.

Spoo - I'm curious... are you saying intolerance should be accepted?

On another note you're right, this thread is only 2 pages long and I guess I am bringing things to the discussion based on a lot of other posts I've read on this board but hadn't commented on till now. There are plenty of posts on this board, usually by women, bemoaning the fact that female bisexuality is embraced and celebrated while male bisexuality is not tolerated. Nobody is joining in to this thread to voice that opinion now, perhaps because the poster identified himself as gay. I have to agree with Vespertine... if he enjoys playing with women, perhaps he's not quite as far on that side of the Kinsey scale as he thought.

I understand this issue is just like racism. I'm not going to convince anybody to suddenly 'see the light' anymore than they are going to convince me I'm wrong about how I feel. My generation will hopefully be the last that thinks like this though. As the old school dies out, the new school of thought takes over. I hope that's what happens anyway.

I also realize that defending gay people is unpopular, as much on this board as anywhere else, so I think we can leave it at that and I'll be finished with this line of discussion.

Boris

This thread has brought up a couple of things that I have always found to be interesting assumptions that I don't think are true in the real world.

 

The first one is that swingers are more open minded folks than the rest of society. I don't think this is true at all. It is true that we engage in an activity that others in society may not approve of, but that, by itself doesn't make us more open minded. It just means we have different interests.

Actually, these folks found that swingers are more tolerant.

Swing Study

 

I understand this issue is just like racism. I'm not going to convince anybody to suddenly 'see the light' anymore than they are going to convince me I'm wrong about how I feel. My generation will hopefully be the last that thinks like this though. As the old school dies out, the new school of thought takes over. I hope that's what happens anyway.

 

I also realize that defending gay people is unpopular, as much on this board as anywhere else, so I think we can leave it at that and I'll be finished with this line of discussion.

 

Boris

When it comes to sex, to each there own, and that includes their turn offs. A swing club is not some microcosm of society where we all need to be accepting of each others personal preference. If a lot of people find MM activity to be a turn off, why should anyone care if its not allowed at some clubs? Apparently the OP found a club where that was accepted and good for him, no one is saying he shouldn't do it there. We are saying he should state his preferences before he hits the play room with a couple, the same way we would want any other couple/single to let us know what they were into before we go upstairs.

Spoo - I'm curious... are you saying intolerance should be accepted?

I don't know... Seems you want your brand to be accepted... Personally, I think the trap of "tolerance" is that it fails to tolerate. It simply seeks to shift the lines of acceptance.

I'm not going to convince anybody to suddenly 'see the light' anymore than they are going to convince me I'm wrong about how I feel. My generation will hopefully be the last that thinks like this though. As the old school dies out, the new school of thought takes over. I hope that's what happens anyway.

Boris - I have a question...

What would this look like? If the next generation does not "think like this" (which I am not entirely sure you've even defined what "thinking like this" really is) what will it think like? I am very curious about where you are coming from.

So far - folks have said "if it works for you, do it." I can think of no more tolerant sentiment. How much more tolerant a people supposed to be?

You state that defending gays is unpopular... Who are you defending gays from? I think the guy who posted the "stick to your own kind" post pretty much got the point. His "error" was made clear by a few posters on this thread - not just you. So - it seems to me that defending this guys right to play as long as he does so within the rules of the club and the boundaries of the couples he plays with, is actually quite popular.

It seems you have a rather unfocused beef about something that has been bugging you for a long time. My guess is you are doing a bit of shadow boxing, though, because I don't see much evidence of the "old school" you're referring to.

Spoomonkey

Actually, these folks found that swingers are more tolerant.

Swing Study

True, but I question how accurate a study is that was mostly based on a volontarily taken questionair on the internet.

True, but I question how accurate a study is that was mostly based on a volontarily taken questionair on the internet.

Dude - if it is a "stat" it is true...

Statistically speaking all statistics are statistically accurate... About 87.4% of the time...

Spoomonkey (making up statistics since 1973)

I will jump in here and admit that I am one of those "women bemoaning ...." that Boris was referring to, with regard to double standards. I HATE them!!!

As I have stated MANY times on this board, I am NOT bisexual, not in the least bit interested in F-F play. BUT, I do not begrudge those who are, as long as they do not try to "convert" me. lol

Similarly, I do not begrudge men who are bi or bi-curious, though I have no real curiosity about watching bi-male activity. To each their own. Whatever turns someone on is fine.

And I do agree with all who have stated that the only "HATER" to the OP was promptly shut down. I didn't see any subsequent posts by him/her, so apparently he/she got the message.

I think we, as swingers, are more tolerant of many things, but tolerance is subjective to each individual's preferences in many cases.