Lifestyle Party With Period? What to Do?

Ok all this is probably a very dumb question!

Jon and I are new to the whole on premise party thing. there is a party coming up next month that we need to rsvp and buy tickets for ahead of time. But there is one small problem. . I have sometimes irregular menstrual cycles and am not quite sure whether i might have my period or not. Should we just book our room and pay for the tickets and go anyway, even if I have my period? Ladies, what do you all do in situations like this? Do you even bother to attend a party where playing is a strong possibility when you have your period? Or do you jus stay home and not go at all? Or do you go and participate anyway? Or do you enjoy pleasing others without having intercourse?

What's the deal? I need some enlightenment please!

If I have my period, we don't make plans for any playtime. We strictly do the vanilla things during that time of the month.

I haven't ever booked ahead for something swing-related. I guess I'd try to count my cycle (even if irregular) and try to guestimate if I'd have my period or not. I wouldn't want to spend the money on a lifestyle event if I couldn't 100% enjoy myself.

Have you looked into birth control pills (I know it won't help now, but maybe for the future)? The best thing about them is you can plan events around your period or skip it all together for a month if you want.

Yes I have used birth control pills before. However I am not on them right now bc I had my bloodwork done in July and my triglycerides were slightly elevated. So my gyn took me off them but when he saw me at my annual exam, went ahead and gace me a script for a years worth of them anyway(after he looked at my bloodwork from my primary care dr who originally drew the blood) I am hesitant to go back on. i was always hungry, and had like zero sex drive

Have you heard of Instead?

I've heard a lot of positive testimonials about it, but haven't tried it yet.

Vespertine said:

Have you heard of Instead?

We heard a lot of people use it and like it. We bought a box, but she could never get the cups in there "just right". We loved the idea, but just haven't been able to make it work.

Personally I don't let a pesky little thing like my period get in the way of my fun. Just this past weekend we had a play date set up, well lo and behold wouldn't you know it, I got my period that morning (very irregular so no way to plan for it).

We went ahead and kept our date, had a blast at the social and afterwards had fun back in the room with our friends. I did inform them I was broke, but could still play a little, which I did.

I use the Instead product and love it. I don't feel real comfortable having intercourse with anyone but Ted while using it, just because depending on how heavy the flow there is a possibility of leaks and I don't want to subject anyone else to the mess. He's used to it as we have never let my period interfere with our fun, even before I discovered Instead. I have used Instead during a play session where I was at the end of my period and the flow was very light and it worked out great.

As far as getting the cup inserted just right, it just takes practice, once you manage to get it fitted properly one time that's all it takes and you'll be able to do it every time.

Teresa

Personally, we didn't play during Janet's period. It always made her feel 'icky' and we didn't even have sex with each other. Fortunately, those days are behind us now.

I did my little search thingie and came up with a couple of other threads that might interest you too:

When you are on your period, what do you do?

Sex and period poll

Thanks for posting that link, Brad & Janet.

I'm thinking if the others are ok with playing, then why not? I'm ok about playing on my period with guys. I have been with a woman while on my period too. (My ex girlfriend) she just had me insert a tampon before she went down.

I am very irregular also and use "instead" if that time happens to pop up when we've scheduled a play date. When properly installed it will prevent leaks for at least 2-4 hours even on the heaviest days. We always keep a box in our "play pack" just in case and have loaned them to other girls.

I have also used the Instead cups, but never while swinging. It depends on your flow if you will feel comfortable with it. I personally don't like to go out because I am usually an emotional basketcase. Hope that you are able to go and have fun.

Vespertine said:

If I have my period, we don't make plans for any playtime. We strictly do the vanilla things during that time of the month.

 

I haven't ever booked ahead for something swing-related. I guess I'd try to count my cycle (even if irregular) and try to guesstimate if I'd have my period or not. I wouldn't want to spend the money on a lifestyle event if I couldn't 100% enjoy myself.

We are the same way during that time of month. I usually feel icky and not very sexy so I wouldn't want to go to the club or meet someone for play during that time.

I am pretty regular though and can plan a month or two ahead so if there is something we have to buy tickets for (i.e. our club's new years eve party) I would know if I was going to be available and base going and purchasing advance tickets on that.

We just dealt with the very same issue this past New Year's Eve. My period was two days early, but we went anyway and had a great time. It gave me a chance to hone up on my oral skills.

There were three of us there, that night, in the same boat.

I'd do it again but I'd obviously prefer to be able to participate in all games.

We have intercourse during that time.. Probably Candy doesnt bleed a lot, cause it always stays pretty clean. (meaning; it should be that, cause otherwise we dont know why you shouldnt have intercourse with your hubbie)

But we dont play with others during the period..

Instead.. is named differently in The Netherlands... it amazes me (candy) to read postive things about it.. first time for me! (i've only read and heard stories about the cup 'falling' out, how its impossible to place it without putting your whole hand in, or how blood stil comes out after playing it correctly :S )

I was going to suggest the INstead product as well. I have used them in the past when the period came at the wrong time. If nothing else it will allow you to feel more comfortable dressing sexy and what not and allow for perhaps some soft-swinging if you don't feel comfortable with sex. You can, however, have sex with the Instead cup inserted with no problem whatsoever.

Great posts. We have wondered about this issue as well. Good to see different views and weblinks to consider. Thanks for all the info and personal opinions. One girl told us that she her self is the horniest, right after her period. She said she felt clean, refreshed and ready to GO. And I mean, go.

Fem D has finally found "Instead", though I'm not sure she's able to trust them.

Certainly and option if you are up to it. Most ladies aren't really thinking about sex during that time are they?

Male D

DBL D said:

Most ladies aren't really thinking about sex during that time are they?

 

Male D

Well, I know during the first few days I'm not thinking about sex as much as I usually do, but on the "tail end" of that week, I get pretty rrrrrrrrandy.

I have had luck with using a contraceptive sponge (protectaid or today) when it's near the end of that week. It absorbs and holds enough that nobody who doesn't know I'm being visited can tell. Obviously, you wouldn't want to follow the BC recommendations and leave it in for 6 hours afterwards, unless you're actually using it for BC reasons.

I'm surprised that I haven't seen the sponge mentioned more on this site, they aren't cheap, but they are pretty handy little critters to keep around. I'd be curious to know if I'm missing something obvious about them that keeps other women from using them.

I thought that the birth control sponges were taken off the market, or have i just watched too much "Seinfeld?" I'm not sure where your at, although with tax free shopping, that sounds pretty good!

growgirl said:

Well, I know during the first few days I'm not thinking about sex as much as I usually do, but on the "tail end" of that week, I get pretty rrrrrrrrandy.

I'm not "thinking" about it much either mostly because I just feel like shit headaches, cramps, tired. I must admit though I am at my horniest during that time which sucks for various reasons, although we have managed to find some fun ways to get needed "stress" relief. and other creative ways.

I don't think I'd be comfortable trying the sponge or other things mentioned here . . . I'd be paranoid the whole time thinking it might not work.

We have attended lifestyle parties and clubs while she is on her period and have just been honest with our partners that she is out of commission. We will flirt, kiss, even do oral but intercourse is only for us while she is bleeding. She normally uses the vaginal cup but it can be disloged if you are with someone who has a large penis or who is an aggressive thruster.

mentorcpl said:

She normally uses the vaginal cup but it can be dislodged if you are with someone who has a large penis or who is an aggressive thruster.

Well it definitely wouldn't work for me and Mr Spoo then

tracy1878 said:

I thought that the birth control sponges were taken off the market, or have i just watched too much "Seinfeld?" I'm not sure where your at, although with tax free shopping, that sounds pretty good!

Yes, they were taken of the market in the united states, due to the company not wanting to invest the $$$$ to bring their manufacturing plant up to new FDA standards. The sponges (both brands I've heard of) have always been available in Canada, and are approved by their version of the FDA. There never was an issue w/ the product itself, just their manufacturing facilities.

You can order them online though, and they will ship to the US. I get mine from (I'm not spamming I promise) https://birthcontrol.com/ .

Thank you for the tip on "instead". I have had a lot of trouble with the pill (double periods), so am not on them any more, and can't always count when exactly the time will be. I am soooo excited about finding out about this option.

My two cents worth...

We were so excited to get into swinging, and our first experience was almost waylayed by my period coming a day early. I use Instead (I hate flushing money down the toilet lol) and thought this would work fine... when I am on my period hubby and I use it. He can't feel it, he rarely gets anything on him, etc.

Well.. it did NOT work, and I was embarassed... It was hard to back out of play because the other couple was so happy to be with us they didn't care. I had a great time otherwise, but it was embarassing.

Now for why I THINK it did not work, when it DID work at home...

*It was the first time, I was extremely excited, and therefore muscles were clinching more frequently and at greater intensity than normal

*The husband was far larger than he had reported himself to be. My hubby is a good 8 inches, and I cannot handle more than 10 really. The guy promised me he didn't exceed that. While I haven't measured him, I would bet he is half again as big, and thick, as my husband.

*I am a squirter, which on top of regular muscle contractions adds a whole new level to the word "tight".

*He was very, very active.. .not really rough, but um very active lol.

I believe that the combination of the things above led to the failure. My clenching, combined with his size made it very hard for the Instead to stay in place. I knew of course that night that this was probably why... and his "little" fib I felt made it as much his fault as mine.. so I felt a little vindicated on that.

So... I would suggest for someone wanting to use these to order them, try them out a few periods at home, and then NOT let yourself get with a guy who can reach your belly button from the inside lol!!! That, coupled with a partner being a little more gentle should keep things "in place"

HTH

I'll have to keep your experience in mind, that's really too bad it didn't work. I bought some to try out ahead of time but when it's that time of the month I just don't feel like experimenting... with anything or anyone. I read on their website that it works for most people but some women have a little different structure to them making it so it doesn't fit well. I figure if I can't get it to work by the 3rd time then it wasn't meant to be. You'll have to keep us updated.