How to show/determine interest at 1st meet

[2 in C-bus 21]

We are going on our first couple/couple "date" this weekend. We were invited to a social at a vanilla bar a few weeks ago by a different couple. We went with the intention of just meeting a few couples. We did not, and never had the intention of playing that evening, though we did get along quite nicely with the coulpe that invited us. The no playing rule we set for ourselves (and informed the other couple about before we met) really worked out well-it took all the pressure off.

 

Another couple has invited us to dinner this weekend. They are pretty new to the LS just like us. This time we have no rules against playing. In fact, we'd like to play if the connection is there. We have our signals worked out for if we would like things to progress past the restaurant. My question: how do we guage the other couples interest? Short of asking them "wanna go get nekkid?"

 

In our email contacts with this other couple all that has been discussed is the ladies playing with each other-it's what both couples are in to right now. Should Mrs. 2 make the first move? Any lines that work well? Thanks.

[WildMiCouple 324]

Another couple has invited us to dinner this weekend. They are pretty new to the LS just like us. This time we have no rules against playing. In fact, we'd like to play if the connection is there. We have our signals worked out for if we would like things to progress past the restaurant. My question: how do we guage the other couples interest? Short of asking them "wanna go get nekkid?"

2inCbus- this one really isn't as hard as your thoughts are making it. When you're all out at the restaurant and things are really clicking near the end of the meal, just let them know how much you are enjoying the evening. Something like "Hey guys, we are having such a wonderful time tonight.......might you like to come by our house for another drink?" This let's them know you're interested and leaves them the option of bowing out with whatever reason. Having Mrs 2 ask would certainly let the other lady know that she was personally interested.

 

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Brett

[Alura 2,766]

 

Another couple has invited us to dinner this weekend. They are pretty new to the LS just like us. This time we have no rules against playing. In fact, we'd like to play if the connection is there. We have our signals worked out for if we would like things to progress past the restaurant. My question: how do we guage the other couples interest?

 

Laura would have gauged their interest by their answer to her question, "We've talked about y'all a lot and decided we'd like to play tonight if y'all are up for it. How do y'all feel about that?" She would have asked the question during salad so there would be plenty of time to talk to them before dinner was over.

 

Honest communication is always the best policy but the lady should ask the important questions.

 

Alura

[2 in C-bus 21]

Brett,

Of course we're over thinking it. We're nervous as hell! But you're right, your suggestion is simple and clear. Check back first of next week, we'll post an update.

[padoc 1,696]

Towards the end of dinner, perhaps before dessert, say, "we're having a blast with you two and we find you both attractive. Wanna come back to our place for some serious fun"? You're acknowledging that you enjoy their company, that they turn you on and that you're willing to take it further. Of course, "wanna come home with us and get naked" IS a viable alternative and leaves no room for misinterpretation. We really can't wait to see how it turns out. As a guy on the radio in a city in SE Ohio says, "gimme a full report"!

[Fundamental Law 2,816]

Going back to the OP...

Showing interest is different than "wanna get naked?". Some people prefer the direct route. Others prefer subtlety. We're in the latter group.

 

There's lots people can do in conversation, glances and not-so-accidental touches. You have to decide whether you want an appetizer or just the main course. We like the seduction, followed by "would you like to continue the evening at our (home, hotel, whatever)?" The message can be clear, and the other couple can offer a spectrum of responses--"We have an early day tomorrow"; "We'd love to join you for a glass of wine but need to be heading home in an hour."; "Sounds wonderful, shall we switch partners so someone in each car knows the way to your home?" The latter sends a pretty clear signal.

 

We simply like it better than 'wanna get naked?' Of course, we like the seduction thing when we're by ourselves also.

[2 in C-bus 21]

We went out last night, and dinner was good. Good food, good wine, great dinner conversation. We consider outselves psudo-intellectuals so it's always nice meeting people you can talk to about more than the weather and football. Toward the end of dinner Mrs. 2 said "well, we'd love to invite you back to our place for a drink but the sitter is there with the kids tonight." No response. About 30 minutes later Mr. 2 tried again with, "what do you have going on for the rest of the evening?" They responded with someting about catching up on some favorite TV shows and we talked about television for 20 minutes. We got the picture, no interest-fine. But then the lady of the other couple asked us what we had going on for the evening. Mrs. 2 took one more stab and asked if they had any ideas, then remarked that we were already in a hotel (we met in a hotel restaurant). Everyone laughed and the other Mrs said that she didn't play on the first date. Fair enough, we dropped the subject.

 

So, to summarize; we had a nice meal, met an interesting, intelligent couple and got our feet wet in the dating scene. What didn't happen was any playtime. We talked about it after we got back home and decided we might have sent mixed signals. They contaced us about 3.5 weeks ago, and due to various scheduling issues we were not able to meet until last night. When we were first trying to set up a date with them we told them that we were only interested in dinner-thinking it was going to be our very first meet ever. In between that first batch of emails and finally getting together we went to the aforementioned social. So when we finally met up for dinner with this other couple we were feeling more confident and willing to play. We did not make our willingness known to the other couple beforehand-a mistake on our part (and, in retrospect, maybe not a position we should have put them in). They did leave it open and said that if we wanted to go to a local club they would take us as their guests. We'll see where it goes from here.

[Fundamental Law 2,816]

This is not an unusual scenario, and what you are seeing is one of the following situations.

 

1. They don't play on the first date. (We don't, either.)

2. They didn't feel four-way chemistry. (This is common. The odds, frankly, are against it.)

3. They didn't want to deal with newbies two-on-two.

4. She was on her period.

5. [a dozen other reasons]

 

What you got was an offer for a next meeting in a broader context. You are correct, see where it goes.

 

As an aside, think a bit about what 2+2 means. These people are (more or less) strangers, and you (and they) are talking not only about getting intimate with each other but with the last however-many-dozen they have been intimate with. In a confined space. And so on. This is not a small step with 2+2. (At a 2+2+2+2...+2 party, it's much easier to say "no,thanks".)

 

You might find that enjoying 'vanilla' dates with a number of couples (different from high school, no one should be getting jealous or clique-y) will give you a sense of how people interact differently. The simple act of getting out of the house and seeing people other than co-workers, family, neighbors or the garden club is a wonderful change of pace.Don't minimize it.

[Dont.Stop 339]

Thanks for the update. Mrs and I were particularly interested as we doing our first SLS meetup date on Tuesday, followed by another on Thursday and a third on Friday. With all of the couple we have all agreed to no play this time. Since we only have one day a week that we can play, we're not scheduling any other meetups until we see where these lead. We're nervous and excited, but we'll relax and just have a good time with it.

 

By not playing on the first date you avoid that awkward moment when one couple asks the other what they think, and perhaps the other couple still needs to discuss it. We'll always have our overnight/party bag packed, but that's our secret.