Have we waited too long to call them?

[Botcpl]

We are new at this and maybe this is normal or maybe it isn't. We've gone to a club a couple of times and had a nice time. We didn't play with anyone, but had a great time. It would be better if it wasn't an hours drive away..

One day I'm messing around on the computer checking out Swing Lifestyle and we get an e-mail. The couple sounds nice, I e-mail back that Mrs. Botcpl is at work, but I will share the message with her. Two days later when I finally get to talk to her, she says sure, we can meet.

A couple of e-mails go back and forth (I'm the computer person) and they want to talk to the both of us on the phone. Sounds like a reasonable request, so I tell her they want us to call. "You call." I explane they want to hear from the wife because they want to make sure we are a couple. "Maybe next week."

I e-mail about how our schedules are and we will try to call next week. Well, that was two weeks ago and we haven't called. One night she came home from work early and said we could call or we could go up stairs because the kids are all away. Up stairs sounded real good at the time.

So, how flaky are we coming across here? If we call these folks next week are they likely to think we are a couple of loons? Do other folks have these type of jitters? (Problems sounds kind of harsh here)

I would hate for us to be "written off" because we seem to have so much in common. He's rebuilding a boat and so am I, so I guess we are both crazy. They are about 20 minutes away so it is not a huge investment in travel time and they sound like nice people.

Any of you been in this type of situation?

P

[Elusive BiFem]

Just call, say you got busy with life and stuff (the truth), apologize for not getting back with them sooner...and that should be enough. Think of this...how many times do we not call our friends and relatives simply because we get busy with life. Some things just have to be put on the back burner.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained...as they say. - EBF

[Pinmonkey]

What's the worst that can happen? They are mad and are disinterested in you now. You haven't really lost anything at this point.

On the other hand if you do call and they aren't mad, but instead understand, then who knows where it will go from there?

[SnSnLex]

You should call them, now. If you like them as much as I think (always good to have things in common with the other guy) you really don't want them to slip away.

You said you were new, was it the "newbie jitters" that had you waiting to call, if so, just let them know, the truth is always the best way to go.

As for waiting till next week to call, forget that, I fear it will be too late then. You really should call ASAP if you want to have a chance on working things out. I'm almost willing to bet that they will understand. We have all been there at one time or another.

Take care
SnSnLex

[JustAskJulie]

I think you are better off to call later than expected and give a reasonable explanation than to not call and have them thinking "great another lying guy trying to cheat on his wife or drag her into swinging"..... which is what I would think if I had been talking to the male half and asked for a call to confirm coupleship then never heard from him/them again.

[Alura]

Call immediately.

If they're like us, they only want to hear both a man's and a woman's voice. It won't take more than a couple of minutes.

Y'all might decide beforehand, or at least have a calendar ready, so you can make an appointment to meet.

Mr. Alura

[Spoomonkey]

Originally posted by Botcpl
I explane they want to hear from the wife because they want to make sure we are a couple.

That is a pretty common way of doing things. When we meet couples on-line, Mrs Spoomonkey always talks on the phone first to the other wife. Call them... Not calling them is going to have them suspecting that you two are really one...

Granted, being too busy to call on the phone doesn't bode well for future dinner dates, but making the effort can't hurt. Finding people with whom you have a lot in common is priceless!

Good luck!

Spoomonkey

[Botcpl]

Well, you all are making some good points. I guess we're just having the jitters. Mrs. Botcpl is off work tonight so maybe we can get it together when I get home from work.

Thank you all for your input. Sometimes you have to hear it from other people.

P

[SnSnLex]

Be sure to let us know how it turns out. Hopefully everything will work out great.

SnSnLex

[fun_pairTX]

Playing the Devil's Advocate here, we would have written you off already. From a point of sincerity, "maybe next week?" I would speak with the Mrs and see if she is truly interested in swinging at all.

[cek]

Another line like fun_pairTX said.
Check and make certain your Mrs. wants to do this with this couple and then you BOTH make the call.

I like the idea of telling of your scheduales.

However, just a thought from some experience here,
if I were them, and you had e-mailed back and forth, I would have enjoyed a quick e-mail saying life had gotten hectic and that you will call just as soon as you folks can do it together and that you have not forgotten them.

At least I would feel better if I had an email like that. BUT you need to let them know and also make the call right away.

Do tell us how it came out, after you have called and.....

[Botcpl]

First of all, I want to thank you all for your thoughts. The Mrs & I did have a little talk and she is all for meeting people, but our scheduales have been a wreck this last week. What she ment by next week was when we could get together.

I have a "straight" nine to five job,but she works in a hospital and that really is a 24/7 job. We are also involved in PTA and our daughter's softball team. She's the Team Mom so I guess that makes me Mr. Team Mom.

Thurs. was a team event and I didn't see her until 9:00PM, yesterday was a PTA thing at school, they call it "Spring Fling", so I didn't see her again until after nine, but I had to listen to my daughter tell me all about it. She is at work today (SAT) at 6:30 AM and will go back Sun. at 3:00PM, but she is off all next week.

I guess we have a small window together this afternoon-evening. We'll see what happens. I am going to drpo our "friends" a note and tell them what has been happening though.

Thank you all for your comments.

P (&V)

[Botcpl]

We called yesterday. There was no answer so Mrs Botcpl left a message on the machine about trying to get together for drinks. I guess we will see what happens if anything.

Actually I think it is a big step for her to make the call. Usually she wants me to make the reservations and night-time plans. So if it works it works and if it doesn't, it wasn't ment to be.

Thank you all for your comments.

P (& V)