Do you talk on the phone before meeting potential swing partners?

[Handyman69]

Just wondering what other couples do. Once we or the other couple has answered the ad, we try to correspond back and forth...to get a little more insite on the other couple. Once we think we are interest, we give them a our private email address and sometimes yahoo messenger name. Again, to gain more knowledge and get comfortable with the couple before (if we decide to) set up a meeting.

My question is....do the majority of you talk on the phone before the meeting? If you do...do you talk socially or sexually or combination? We do the latter as feel they should be aware of the home life as well as what we are looking for.

I probably should put this to a poll, but got to admit getting better but new to this and was too scared to try.

Rhonda

[OhioCouple]

We do basically the same as you do. So far it has worked well for us. If we feel there is some sort of comfort level has been reached or compatibility we will give our private email address and our AIM.

I suppose I should say only those we have grown very comfortable with have our personal email address. We do have another one set up that we use until we reach a true level of comfort, for privacy and security reasons. Once those levels of comfort have been reached, the next natural step for us is to talk via phone, before meeting or at the very least having exchanged phone numbers in case something comes up that we can't meet on a planned date. This allows us to get a feel for if the people we have been chatting with via email or Im's to see if they are similar to how they portray themselves on the keyboard. We have had one instance where we nixed the idea of meeting a couple due to the MAJOR difference between talking on the phone and conversing through a keyboard.

As for what we talk about? One of our requirements is that we like to meet people who prefer a friendship over and above a sexual relationship first. Generally by the time we get to this point (phone conversation) we have plenty to talk about that is not based on sexually related issues. There may be some talk about how excited we are to finally get to meet, but never sexually explicit. When we do finally meet, our conversations may mildly head that direction if we are considering on getting together again. If we all do decide we are going to do so and feel we are compatible, then future emails, chats and phone calls can and do take on a more sexual nature. Mostly though in the form of likes and dislikes which better prepares us for when we do physically meet again. For lack of better words, it takes a more seductive route and I will admit that it is a lot of fun. You get to know each other on a more personal level and it heightens the anticipation of meeting again. After having had a sexual relationship with someone that you are compatible with and we feel comfortable talking about sex with each other or elaborting or planning future meets, then sexual talk is open for discussion but not always the primary focus.

Lori

[Alura]

We've not yet been successful in meeting a couple on the internet but are still communicating with a few couples who may work out. We hope so.

We use the same email address for all swinging-related fun. We try to talk on the telephone early-on and meet for lunch, mostly to insure we are dealing with a married couple who seems to "have it together."

We've not done any sex talk on the phone with couples other than a few anecdotes to illustrate points. We have talked about likes and dislikes but try to begin that at the first lunch meeting.

We have a table with two chairs and two phones in our bedroom so we can both talk at the same time to couples. We're usually laughing and joking, not talking sexy. That might be fun, though.

Mr. Alura

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by Handyman69
do the majority of you talk on the phone before the meeting? If you do...do you talk socially or sexually or combination?

We always speak on the phone prior to meeting, in fact we spoke with a couple just this past Sunday evening. Depending on the circumstances, we may or may not get into the meat and potatoes of what each of us prefer sexually.

Dan

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by Alura
... We try to talk on the telephone early-on and meet for lunch, mostly to insure we are dealing with a married couple who seems to "have it together." ...

We think that is a must do and very good advice.

-B

[sexypairca]

We have successfully met people on the net, wasted more time with fakes than I care to remember also. We tend to correspond via email for a bit and usually arrange for a meeting when we seem comfortable with the fact that they seem genuine with like interests.

Although we have usually talked on the phone first, we have not make it a prerequisite. It just seems to be a natural transition that takes place prior to meeting.

Annette

[Handyman69]

Guess I should have been more descriptive. We by no means, get into the juicy sex talk in the beginning but do feel out for preference and such. We prefer to keep the call..low key but do try get a sense of where the couple is going or wanting to go.

Rhonda

Not sure if this should be a new thread or not, but courious about who does most of the talking. My Husband is quite quiet until he gets comfortable with people but guess due to my profession (nursing), I can talk to just about anybody. Yes, I may be reserved in the beginning but will open up as the talking continues.

Where do you guys stand.....

[sexypairca]

Originally posted by Handyman69
Guess I should have been more descriptive. We by no means, get into the juicy sex talk in the beginning but do feel out for preference and such. We prefer to keep the call..low key but do try get a sense of where the couple is going or wanting to go.

Rhonda

Not sure if this should be a new thread or not, but courious about who does most of the talking. My Husband is quite quiet until he gets comfortable with people but guess due to my profession (nursing), I can talk to just about anybody. Yes, I may be reserved in the beginning but will open up as the talking continues.

Where do you guys stand.....

I consider myself to be the unofficial spokes person of this couple and anyone who has met us would probably agree.

Hubby generally has no problem with corresponding or phone conversations but I tend to be a little more outspoken. I have no problem outlining our likes/dislikes to people that we are considering meeting. I can say just about anything to anyone, which is not necessarily a good quality, but at least people know where they stand.

Annette

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Handyman69
....courious about who does most of the talking.

We prefer for both of us to be present when talking with another couple. We both think it is very important for several reasons and perhaps it is because we are new. We do not move to phone conversations until we are both comfortable with doing such and then we both have equal time in the discussions.

These are our reasons.

1.) You don't have to try and relay second hand information.

2.) Being present in all phone conversations does not allow for any jealousy issues to crop up.

3.) It confirms that we are indeed a couple and that they are also.

We generally will set a time via email or IM to phone talk in which all are present. We don't prefer to talk one on one by phone (meaning that our spouses aren't present).

Lori

[JustAskJulie]

Neither my hubby or I are phone people. I am guilty of several times having met people and then after the fact saying you know we really should have given you are number so that if something came up you could get hold of us. It wasn't that we were withholding the # we just didn't think about it.

We usually will talk via email for a bit with a couple and try to set up a meeting as early as possible. We aren't ones to email for a month or more before finally meeting and we find that most of thsoe who are serious are happy to meet fairly quickly as well. It's much easier to get to know a person face to face. Plus if they don't show up then you can move on quickly without months of online head games. So I would say that most often from initial ad response to meeting is not more than 2 weeks.

In many cases we make all the arrangements via email, however we will usually provide our cell # if they want to give us a call to set things up... or if they give us theirs we may call them.. if it seems that that will make it easier to make plans.... especially when you are conversing on Thursday about meeting Friday night. When it's down to the wire it's a little hard to make plans via email tag.

[Handyman69]

Lori,

I or should I say we agree with both being present. Plus there are things that John would ask or such, so we try to both be on the phone at the same time. Whoever takes a chance on us, always gets the both, not meeting of only 1. (might change if know the couple over time but never in the beginning.)


John is on the line and will talk a little but just seems I do the most.

Rhonda

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Handyman69
John is on the line and will talk a little but just seems I do the most.

Rhonda

Same here. I am the chatty half of the couple. Every once in a while he will respond and he does on occasion read throughout the board, but....when I write, I am generally doing so based on both of our halves. When it is soley my opinion and not his, I do make that clear.

When it comes to answering or writing to ads, I make him physically do that, as I think it is important that he do so. He is more so for the visual and actual talking and not the writing on a keyboard. He is a two finger typist and it frustrates him to no end. (Me too...lol)

Even though we have one couple that we have gotten to know pretty well, we still will not talk with them with out all parties present on the phone. We are still doing baby steps.

Lori