How crude is too crude?

[BradAndJanet]

Originally Posted by Thrax

Maybe he wanted to find out if it's a Mac rather than a PC?

Thrax

You beat me to it, dude...

Real classy people you've got there, Mr. Spoo. :rollseyes Sophomoric is the word for that. About 16 years old. I guess he never outgrew that kind of 'humor'.

-B

[carlos_pchot]

Hello there, I think you're ok, no mistake, if it's a big turn off for both of you tell them!! it's the best way to handle it, giving them slack, it's no good, there are a thin line between being funny and being stupid, so it's easy to get there and don't realize it, they're still your friends and should have enough confidence to tell them that you don't like that kind of treatment to you.
Maybe they can do it with other people and find it amusing, but they must respect your feelings and that's it.
Take care

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

I think it has a lot to do with your mood at the time, the setting, and the circumstances. At least with me it does. Childish, silly humour is funny at times, but completely inappropriate at others.

Ditto, and in both cases I could see where they may be a context it would be ok in. I mean come on Spoo... I could totally see you saying you wanted to "meat" me...yeah...come on ...admit it...lol. Seriously, though, the context in both of those cases was bad. Let's see I'm just about to take a bite of my yogurt when someone gives me the visual of them jerking off into a cup and handing it to me with a spoon....um... nope not working for me on any level. Not making me hungry or horny and I definately don't want that spoon. Ok, I take it back I can't find a context where that comment works... But back to the "Meat" comment. I can deal with that one coming from someone that I've already met and even moreso from someone I've already MET or want to MEAT.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I mean come on Spoo... I could totally see you saying you wanted to "meat" me...yeah...come on ...admit it...lol.

I do wake up with that thought on a daily basis, sure... But I don't recall ever sending you a PM about it. I guess I should have. Now I've ruined the surprise

Spoomonkey

PS - MrsPaganLovers - the race in your neck of the woods is in August

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

I think it has a lot to do with your mood at the time, the setting, and the circumstances. At least with me it does. Childish, silly humour is funny at times, but completely inappropriate at others.

~SS

I have to agree with SS. It depends on my mood at the time, how well I know the other person, and can he really pass off a comment like that and make it sound witty?

I can seriously picture in my mind Mr. LFM saying something like the yogurt comment to me in his quest to be funny (and he is) and I'd be all over him, but to have someone else say the same thing is like -- well that's just plain disgusting -- I'm sure I'd gag. I also know Mr. LFM well enough to know he would never say that to someone else. I also think he'd be mortified to hear it from someone else referring to us.

We also get initial e-mails from single men who make some off color comment and that is the immediate turn-off. He might be wonderful, he might be the best lover, but that one little, teeny-tiny disrespectful comment in his e-mail is enough for us to delete his e-mail without replying.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Here's the thing about "cum and meat us". It's cute the first time you read or hear it. It is really, really tired the 2,345,568th time.

[singleagain]

I tried not to weigh in on this one...but...oh well...here goes.

Words mean everything. Perfectly innocent words like "meat" used in their usual context have no sexual meaning at all. When they become crude is when used to impress others with one's (so called) wit or sexual prowress. There are times when I am with a lady or a couple that using the more vulgar terms for sexual activity are just what everyone wants to hear. It can actually add to the excitement of the play time. But to use such vulgarities simply to gain attention or to impress shows a complete lack of class. One of the most classy people I ever played with was a prim and proper lady who was never one to use the lower forms of English until in the throes of passion she would scream out to her husband and me "O God, I'm cumming...fuck me harder." And we would...

[NewFrontier]

I can completely see where you're coming from here. You're not prude, at least i don't think so. The first time I had sex with hubby, (we'd met several times, but didnt really know eachother very well..., damn he's hot!) we were naked, basking in the afterglow, and talking about something can't remember what, he replied to my statement, "hey whatever turns your dress up". He was grinning and playfully joking, but I was kinda repelled by that, especially after turning my dress up for the first time.

I said, "wow thats a really crass thing to say" we kept talking and didnt miss a beat. A couple minutes later I saw him wiping his forehead in angst, he was really worried that he'd totally blew it, and said so. Well, 11 years later here we are.

I often wish that I could be that honest with swingers we've been with. I think that may have established boundaries. Recently after regretfully sharing with a couple that my "friend" was in town and we couldn't play, their reply was to call my period a bitch. I had friends that called eachother bitch and hoochie and it always seemed so ignorant, hearing play partners call me that, just rubs me the wrong way. Even though we fucked, we just don't know eachother that well.

[clutch]

While most of us have an aptitude of humor, we can get off the successful joke, or we will laugh at most things funny or sublime, we are not all naturally funny.

I truly, truly envy those men and women who can say just about ANYTHING and it's funny. I try to say the same things in a different setting and no one laughs. My wife says, "Honey, I love you, but you just don't have IT."

I point out that we both laughed when HE said it. She says, "I know, but he has that magical IT."

I so wish I had whatever that IT is. But alack! I don't. So I don't try to pull off any out-of-the-normal humor. It sounds like your friend doesn't have that magical IT either, but just hasn't realized the fact yet.

[curiousagain]

Originally Posted by singleagain

One of the most classy people I ever played with was a prim and proper lady who was never one to use the lower forms of English until in the throes of passion she would scream out to her husband and me "O God, I'm cumming...fuck me harder." And we would...

That's a good point that something that is perfect in one context is crude and out of place in another. We all stumble sometimes in defining when the right moment is.

I must confess that I watch a couple of hunting shows. And a husband and wife team host one of them. Now, she's pretty cute and yeah, that's probably one reason I watch it. To get to the point, one of their recent shows was about a group hunt which included several men who are currently very popular and successful in the music field. Now these guys have looks, money, fame, success, women throwing panties on the stage, the whole nine yards. But what I was laughing about nearly the whole time the show was on was that any time any of them got around her they reverted to the 8th grade. It was a huge lesson in humanity and men/women relations. She had them all twisted around her little finger with a smile. They all would become shy, stammering, gawking, rib poking, beavis and butthead snickering little boys in her presence. So, sometimes when guys are crude around a woman I think it’s because the hormones take over and they become “tards” with no social skills. You know, two heads, one brain. It's not easy. Is this a reason or an excuse? I’m not sure, but it happens. Just let’m know when it does and maybe they’ll watch their step next time.

[funrealcouple]

Disclaimer: I tend to use the word "you" and we alot.
"You" is my way of saying "anyone in general" not directed at a certain "post or poster" and "we" is my wife and I.

We have been through alot of this and get very put off by it.
Even to the point of thinking it might work for us with a couple,
only for me to go to the bathroom,while we were out, and have the husband say something crude about me wife.
My wife isn't a whore, a slut, a fuckbunny, a piece of ass or a cocksucker.
This isn't the construction zone, we are grown-ups here.
This is like a regular vanilla date.
Would someone say that to their wife (then girlfriend) on a first date??
Or 2nd 3rd or ever?
We approach everything lifestyle based, the same way we approach normal interaction with people.
Intelligent conversaion, no crude comments etc.
We are definitely not saint's and may have even been crude a time or 2, but that was after we knew a couple a good long time and knew the boundries.
Whatever gave some the idea that because a person/persons is in the lifestyle that they are to be treated like a piece of meat?
If that's your thing fine, but in general it won't be.
We are a little unsusual though, we have never been into the actual "lifestyle" as most percieve it.
If you are out and we meet you, by accident, we are going to say Hi and ask you how the kids are, how you've been etc.
We have met people that have told us "if you see us out, we won't talk to you".
As to which we break off all contact.
We are not interested in that type of relationship.
I do have an ornery streak though,
Half of me wanted to post some nasty crude comment to try to get someone to spit coffee all over their monitor, but instead I showed restraint

FRC

[ClosetCase]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Mrs Spoo and I are in our training for Spring races right now (going great!) and one of the things about that is a fairly regulated diet. We are over at their house and have brought our own snack - a 9:00 ration of yogurt and cereal (Kashi Go-Lean Crunch... Yum!).

"I can work you up some yogurt right here..." He said refering to masturbation...

To which both of us turned green and decided to wait a little while before eating our snack.

To us - that really is not sexy. It's gross. Needless to say, our visit that night was just to watch movies.

I'm actually eating that Kashi crunch right now. 13g of protein per cup, man . I agree though, if I was swinging and a guy said something like that, I'd feel like I was dealing with some kids.. no matter their age. When I imagine swinging or allowing my wife with another guy, the idea and mood is completely killed if they aren't real or still talking like they are in high school. Slang would be a huge turn off as well which would destroy any possibility for me. Suffice it to say, if Master P wanted to swing, I don't care how many luxurious perks there would be, they would have to be somewhat grown up acting and sounding for me to take them seriously and feel comfortable.

I know I'm not a prude for just wanting some maturity, and neither are you.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Had they started out this way - we'd have never hooked up with them at all. We had a couple be this way at the club and interest went to "no way" quickly. The husband kept wanting to see Mrs Spoo' "Pooter" in exchange for some lame magic trick. I explained to him how the trick was done and that my wife doesn't even have a "pooter" - whatever the hell that is.

Pooter?.. what? That is the worst..word..ever. I haven't heard that in years, seriously, and when it was said it was by some Beavis n Butthead fanboy and reject in high school back in 95. Not the kind of guy I'd ever want to do something like this with.. not even close That's funny though.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Now - we have a single guy who we have been talking to. Seems like a great guy, but his last PM to us ended with the line, "can't wait to meet you two and hopefully MEAT you too! LOL!"

Ick... *shudder*... Why? Just... why???

I'm wondering if he was just nervous and trying to break the ice by pressuring a dumb joke. I'd definitely hear the record scratch on the player from a comment like that, but if it was isolated then that isn't necessarily so bad. Maybe he is new and a lame joke like that seemed like a good ice breaker? Anyways, still possible to salvage I think.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Anyway - are we prudes? Is this just something we are going to have to learn to live with? I have talked to people about some of the most disgusting things - I can't put my finger on it except maybe for juvenile - but some things ("yogurt", "MEAT", "pooter") just make my skin crawl.

No, those are all nasty words. Another word I have a problem with is 'nut'. If someone said they wanted to nut, to bust a nut, to do anything that requires 'nutting' I'd be turned off so fast viagra wouldn't help me. That's just another word I'd add to the list.. but yeah this is definitely a pet peeve of mine and it sounds like it is for many others. You want to know your wife/fiance/girlfriend/whatever is in good hands with a man who actually comes off like a man and not a boy. Surely, it's not too much to ask.

[bigjoehd]

We dont care how sexy people are when it come's to filthy & crude comments,i cant take it & the lil misses is even quicker to pull the plug when the conversation drifts off into obscenities.

Here's one for ya! A few years back we were playing with our then regular couple when the male of the couple announced " OH YEAH!!!!!!! TAKE MY LOAD!!!! WTF was that all about,not only did she not take his 'load' she got up & left the room,ruined the whole evening for all of us & after that things were never the same,we wasted no time breaking it off with them.I dont think your being a prude,nasty comments turn alot of people off.

I think some people just watch way too much porno,people dont talk like that in real life......do they?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by bigjoehd

I think some people just watch way too much porno,people dont talk like that in real life......do they?

I think that a lot of the folks are right - there is a time and a place where just about anything might be acceptable. The key is knowing the people you are with and not crossing those boundaries too soon...

And yes - there are people who act way too much like the last porno they watched. :rollseyes

The good news is, we have good friends who don't do that, so swinging still works quite well for us

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by ClosetCase

I'm actually eating that Kashi crunch right now. 13g of protein per cup, man .

You know what is really pathetic?

Without going downstairs to the cupboard, I know that what you have is Kashi Go Lean. I have Kashi Go Lean Crunch. How do I know? The Crunch has 9g of protein per serving and the regular Go Lean has 13g.

I need a new hobby

Spoomonkey