Do you prefer the male or the female to initiate in-person contact

[Menage_a_Trois]

Just curious about whom the initiator is in your relationship when meeting a new couple when out at a club, etc. Who does the starting of the conversations/flirting? We have seen a mixture of it sometimes being the man and sometimes the woman. Do you have a preference on who you are more comfortable with when BEING approached – do you prefer it to be the woman or the man or are you neutral and it doesn’t matter?

Also any pointers for when you are trying to get to know that couple who just isn’t good at engaging back in conversation?

Just curious……….

The Other Mrs. Menage

[Tantra]

We're pretty neutral - mostly we approach together as a couple. Also we are often quite content to just go with the flow and meet everyone as a group or have others approach us.

[Amanda69]

All depends on the situation, anything can happen, in any order, any time. That is the fun of the lifestyle...

[rpu3]

I'm more of the opinion that I don't care who approaches, and we do make an effort to go talk to people.

But I do know what I cannot stand - men who approach me, without their partner, the minute my husband leaves to us the restroom. I can be standing with other women, or other men and their wives - and the minute my husband leaves - there is always a male there to talk to me. Personally, I don't think that's cool - why didn't you want to talk to both of us, why wait until he leaves?

[EvilMJ]

Good question.

My husband makes a lot of the approaches. Strangely it is usually with the husband of the other couple. I think he feels most comfortable talking to guys, seeing if they have anything in common or if he is a decent person. It seems to work, then he introduces me to them for my approval or rejection. That's not to say he doesn't initate contact with women too. He just seems to be the more outgoing of the two of us.

I tend to have more people approrach me than I approach. I'm not as forward about it as he is. I almost prefer people to approach me, underneath all this insanity of mine I am actually a little shy. .

We have approached a few newbies who seem a little withdrawn before, but not in an attempt to play with them, just to kind of make them feel comfortable and at ease. We just talk about netural stuff, sports, weather, music..what ever seems to bring them out of their shell.

[WesternSwing]

Online, I'm the initiator since I check our email most often. In person, Mrs. WS is. I am outgoing, but she is VERY outgoing and spots the new people at the club or party right away and makes them feel right at home.

Mr. WS

[Menage_a_Trois]

Thanks for your chime in's...........appreciate it.

The Other Mrs. Menage

[good times]

This is a lot harder question once I started thinking about it than I thought when I first saw it. I don't really know which one of us does most of the initiating as we are both fairly social people. I tend to be more of a flirt than Mrs. GT, but she seems to have an easier time opening up with people we don't know. So, I guess I would say we both do, but I am just guessing as I haven't really paid that much attention.

[Menage_a_Trois]

Well I guess my next question to this thread would be are there any special tips for trying to talk with a couple who is extremely shy or just difficult to carry on a conversation with when you are at a club? Normally I don't know a stranger and don't have any problems talking to anyone but when it comes to the lifestyle I just get so frustrated when you try and try to talk but nothing happens and it's all one sided.

Hate to just walk away from a potential couple but when this is happening I just keep thinking I'm wasting our time when there are other possibilities waiting. What advise does anyone have ..........tired of spinning my wheels. Thanks.

The Other Mrs. Menage

[LFM2]

We both tend to approach online. (There are NO clubs, events or personal meetings here!) We will often read profiles on Swing Lifestyle. I often use the note taking feature on there and will jot down what I think of their profile. He'll often read after me, we discuss their profile and he'll often send a PM.

In real life, I am the more outgoing one while he tends to be more shy.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Menage_a_Trois

Well I guess my next question to this thread would be are there any special tips for trying to talk with a couple who is extremely shy or just difficult to carry on a conversation with when you are at a club? Normally I don't know a stranger and don't have any problems talking to anyone but when it comes to the lifestyle I just get so frustrated when you try and try to talk but nothing happens and it's all one sided.

Hate to just walk away from a potential couple but when this is happening I just keep thinking I'm wasting our time when there are other possibilities waiting. What advise does anyone have ..........tired of spinning my wheels. Thanks.

The Other Mrs. Menage

Honestly, if it's not happening in the conversation department with us, there is little chance it is going to happen in the sex department. We are very open and outgoing people and we can usually pull allot of conversation out of people, but if we have to work to hard at it, it kills the attraction.

Mr. WS