Think my roommates want to swing with me, not sure how to find out

[DrDigital]

Ok. So i'll spout out this long story now. I'de greatly appreciate any advice from people with experience.

Basically, I live with 3 of my closest friends. 2 guys, 1 girl. I'm really good friends with both the guys, and the girl is pretty much my best friend. The girl has been in a relationship with one of my housemates for a while. Couple years, and i've known them both for about 2 and a half or 3 years. Last summer they split for a while, and during that time, me and the girl discussed some things. I had feelings for her, which I am pretty much past right now, and she said that she had feelings for me. We ended up making out one night as well. So anyway, we all live in Portland now. So now is where the story gets more interesting (for me, at least.) One night a couple weeks ago we all did some shrooms. We're all young. Avg age of 21, and it's fun to do shrooms once in a while. So, near the end of the trip my friend who is dating the girl approaches me, and the girl is in the doorway kinda watching. The guy told me that someone told him that I had to do him in the butt for him and this girl to be together forever. The girl was right in the doorway kinda smirking, then she went out to our porch to smoke a cigarette, leaving me and him alone. I informed him that I didn't need to do him in the butt for that to happen, and that he was just tripping, so it was cool. And it was ok, I wasn't really wierded by it. Later that night, the girl said that I should have just done it to him, and that we had condoms, and that it would have been ok because it would have happened in our own house, and it WOULD have been ok. Now, nothing could have happened, because my other friend was tripping with us too. Eventually my friend who is in the relationship with the girl said "so...me, you and her need to go sleep together? The 3 of us?" ..Again, he was tripping and so was I, so nothing could have really happened. Then it was quiet for a moment. I kinda looked at him and the girl, then my other friend who had over heard was like "BUT THERES 4 OF US!" outta the blue. He's not down for threesomes or anything, he was just being silly. So then the girl says "Ohh no honey, just ME." like she was covering up that maybe we wanted something to happen. I don't know. So anyway, the next morning I wake up and go down to have a cigarette with this girl, as we do every morning. I was informed that we definitely could have had a threesome the night before. I asked "really?" and whatnot, but we decided that we were tripping so it would have been wierd, and probably not really the safest idea as well. She asked me what I would have said if they DID invite me for a threesome. I said "I would have told you to ask me when I was sober, so we could discuss it properly" and whatnot...you know. Make sure nothing goes awry. So, that's that part of the story. Now, yesterday, my other roomate left to go to Florida for 4 days (leaving me and the couple in the house.) So, we dug this huge cave in our snowbank at the end of our driveway..because we were bored. Then we hung out in it for a while, and eventually decided to go back inside our house. The girl got out of the ice cave first, and at the end of the tunnel, looked back in and said "So let's go inside and have a threesome." I responded by saying "A threesome ehhhh?" kinda suggestively, and her boyfriend who was in the cave with me still didn't really say anything. Like, he didn't say "Hell no!" or something like that. Eventually the girl said "Ok fine I will just have a onesome then!" and her boyfriend said "you can have a onesome and we'll just watch." ..Now, that got me thinking just by itself, because our other roomate had JUST left for Florida on the same day. So later on the same day, maybe an hour, me and the girl are sitting in my room watching tv shows on my computer, and then the guy comes in for a minute. I was somewhat "innebriated" off of a certain herb at the time, but he came in for a moment and I was doing something on my computer, and the girl said "so did you guys come to a decision yet?" or something along those lines. Then it was quiet for a moment. I would have said something, but I didn't know if she was addressing both me and the guy, or just him and referring to something else, but I do know that she said "you guys" in the sentence. So basically that's that for right now. If it helps, the guys' liscense plate on his old car was "SWINGR". I don't know how to approach him with this, and I have somewhat approached the girl with it. I just want to know if they are serious. I kinda do want something to happen, and I -THINK- i've been getting signs and whatnot. I mean, i've talked to a couple people I know on the net and they say that they're like testing me and seeing what i'll say. Since this is my first experience like this, I'm not really sure on how to approach this. I just want to hear from one of them that they are serious. If I knew for a fact that they were serious, I would have a much easier time bringing this up and discussing it, but for some reason, deep down in my mind, I don't know if they're serious. I'de have a lot easier of a time approaching both of them at the same time if I knew they were serious. I mean, it's mostly the girl who has said everything thus far. And she knows how I feel, so I don't know if she would JOKE about this or not.

So tell me, does it sound like i'm being tested or something? I'm an idiot when it comes to picking up on certain things, haha. What should I do?

[TNT]

If you want to know if they are serious or not I would suggest bringing up the topic while all of you are sober . Being under the influence of anything is not a good way to discuss a possible threesome.


Teresa

[DrDigital]

Well, I don't really know how to bring it up to both of them. I mean, I feel like i'm getting a lot of signs, but I just don't know how to bring it up. I'de most definitely want to talk about it in our right minds, but I'm not sure if they're serious or not. Maybe the signs i've been getting from them are obvious to you experienced folks, but I'm like this in every aspect of life. I like to hear things plain and simple. "Yes, we are interested" or "No, we are not interested". If it was a "Yes, we are interested" I would have a much easier time talking to both of them. Oy.

[corkwan]

sounds like you've a wise cautious head on you. you can read my story on the link below. note, the time i made my big fuckup where i got a bj was at the tail end of a shroom trip. you are dead right not to push things like that while tripping.

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=15407

i think you're right to be cautious. sounds like the girl is gung-ho and the guy is being silent. if they are serious, sit both of them down and talk to them about it. discuss the scenario and what they are comfortable with. you know it is going to affect your house dynamics... especially if it doesnt turn out well. i would wait until you get very explict enthusiasm (not pressured) from the guy before going any further.

[DrDigital]

I want to discuss it with both of them, but it's really awkward for me to bring it up. It's just the 3 of us a lot while my other roomate is gone, and I definitely think about just blurting something out, but I don't know how, or what to say. I'm the kind of person who's views on friendship cannot be soured by anything, unless one of my friends tried to literally kill me. I've been in fist fights with friends, and all kinds of crap. I really want to discuss it...

[corkwan]

if you think it is going to be awkward talking to them about a threesome now, think about how awkward it will be if things turn out bad. a very good rule of thumb is if you cannot say it, do not do it.

maybe the way to do it is to approach one of them and ask them if they are serious. the next joke someone makes, you could say, yes, lets have a talk about that. if one of them gets uncomfortable, do not proceed. you may want to believe it is just nervousness, but it is probably misgivings. you need to discuss those before you go ahead.

like i said though, you want to hear it from everyones mouth, 'yes i am ok with this', before you jump in. innuendo can be very confusing, and some people enjoy being a tease, sometimes to the point of causing hurt to their partner.

[DrDigital]

Well, i'de have a very easy time discussing it if I knew they were serious. I've kind of brought it up to the girl, gonna talk to her today about it a little. I just want to talk to the guy about it too, but I don't want to bring it up and have them be like "oh hahah that was a joke!".

I think i'm smart enough to proceed cautiously when it gets to the point of discussion. I just want to know if they mean business before I discuss it...but I guess bringing it up may be the only way to know if they're serious. The guy hasn't displayed a lack of interest really. He's just pretty laid back and quiet a lot of the time. Some thing's he said lead me to believe he's not uncomfortable..I mean, his license plate on his old car did say "SWINGR". I just gotta think of how to do this.

[corkwan]

i would say just call them on it, next time they joke about it. are they just teasing or are they both really into the idea.

of course, its up to you whether you think this is a good idea. don't let your dick lead you on an adventure just because it sounds fun. you live with these people. so, you need to consider the outcomes.

i don't doubt it can't be done, but i would imagine its easier to fuck up than get right.

[DrDigital]

I think i'll do that. I'm definitely interested. It's not just cuz i'm horny or anything. I mean, it'de be nice to have some human contact with people i'm close to. They're pretty rational people too, and I think they know that if it didn't work, then it's in the past and we'll just go on being friends as usual and just forget trying that again. Shrug.

[corkwan]

well, if you can talk to them like that, then sounds like your being as cautious as you can. just keep in mind that things will probably change, no matter what. and you do risk falling out with your housemates.

in the end, they may be just winding you up. thats life. you seem like you took the bait anyway. or they may not be very sure about things either, you never know.

[DrDigital]

Yep. I certainly did take the bait, because I am interested... If I got tricked, so be it. "You can't achieve those goals if you don't take that chance."

Thanks for the advice. It really helped, though i'm still thinking about how to approach this...Though thought is probably a good thing.

[JustAskJulie]

Sounds to me like you all need to put away the drugs for long enough to actually have a coherent conversation where you all talk and ALL listen to each other so that you can each find out what the interests are in a grown up way, rather than playing these kiddy guessing games.

As for comment about him doing you in the butt to make their relationship last, it sounds like someone's been watching "Chasing Amy" too much.

[sensuality]

Sex and the drama aside...HELLO!! Do you all not know what wild mushrooms can do to you? head bang OMG!! head bang I know you are young and possibly igonorant to the ramifications of this drug or any other type of drug for that matter...so, I urge you to pull your head out of your a** and forget about this girl,your roommates, and the drugs.Research what these wild mushrooms can do to you....And, then move out and clean your act up and mature just a bit. :rollseyes STOP NOW!

[sensuality]

Article of Interest:


''Hard'' drugs
Psilocybin (''Magic'') mushrooms

Originally Published: September 11, 1998 / Updated on: November 08, 2002
Hi Alice,

I have been thinking of trying Psilocybin Mushrooms. Please tell me what effects it has on the brain, body, and whatever else you can tell me... I have heard Shrooms are safer than LSD and even that Shrooms are harmless!!! Also tell me if it is common that Shrooms are laced with LSD. Thanx and I love your site!




Dear Reader,

Psilocybin mushrooms (a.k.a. 'shrooms, "Magic" mushrooms) are a hallucinogen that are either eaten in their dried mushroom form or consumed as a white powder. The term "hallucinogen" means that taking this drug causes the user to experience an altered sense of reality, a.k.a. "tripping." Used in smaller amounts, Psilocybin mushrooms produce a feeling of relaxation and visual distortions. For example, users experience a sensation of being detached from their body and observing themselves, see brilliant arrangements of color and light, or see fantastical images before them. In larger doses, users may experience physical sensations, such as lightheadedness; numbness of the tongue, lips, and mouth; shivering or sweating; nausea; and, anxiety. Use of this drug can also change one's perception of time, making minutes seem like hours.

In general, a trip begins with some feelings of nausea, jitteriness, and a mild increase in blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing. However, if a user experiences anxiety or fear during a trip, the body's reactions to these feelings may be difficult to endure. For this reason, it's important to consider where and with whom one might try this drug. When experimenting with any drug, it is essential to be in a safe environment with people you trust, preferably some who are not using any alcohol or other drugs.

Psilocybin mushrooms do not generally cause dangerous physical reactions, nor is addiction or physical dependence likely. However, individual users' experiences vary widely, based on a number of factors. A person's expectations, physical and/or emotional health, previous drug experiences, mood, the amount of the drug consumed, and the setting all play a part in what kind of effects the drug produces. In addition, pre-existing mental conditions, such as depression, can cause unpredictable reactions to Psilocybin mushrooms, as can use with another drug, such as marijuana. Hallucinations range from the intriguing and pleasurable to the frightening and anxiety producing. Intense experiences can be physically and emotionally uncomfortable, and the memory may stay with the user for a long time. Flashbacks of trips are also common among frequent users of the drug.

It is difficult to identify the Psilocybin variety of mushrooms, both in the wild and in its dried form. Taking the wrong type of mushroom could cause severe health problems. There are similar-looking fungi that cause hallucinations, but which are much more dangerous. Taking toxic mushrooms by accident is, in fact, the single most dangerous thing about mushroom use: the wrong type can be deadly.

The reactions Psilocybin mushrooms and LSD produce are similar. However, LSD's effects last longer. Also, drugs said to be LSD are more likely to contain other chemicals. Sometimes, LSD is mixed with strychnine, which is poisonous, or PCP (a.k.a. angel dust). PCP, also a hallucinogen, is much more dangerous than either LSD or Psilocybin mushrooms.

You asked whether or not Psilocybin mushrooms could be laced with LSD. LSD is most commonly used in one of two forms. It is either absorbed in its liquid form onto a piece of paper (a blotter), and chewed or taken as a pill. It may be possible to soak Psilocybin mushrooms in this liquid, or mix LSD with Psilocybin in its powdered form.

For more information on hallucinogens and other drugs, search through Alice's Alcohol, Nicotine, and Other Drugs archive. Another good resource is the book, Buzzed: The Straight Facts about the Most Used and Abused Drugs from Alcohol to Ecstasy, by Cynthia Kuhn, Scott Swartzwelder, and Wilkie Wilson.

Alice

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[DrDigital]

Haha, i've done shrooms for a while. It's had no long term ramifications. I know a vast amount about them, and i'm not an idiot when it comes to doing them. I practice being very safe and making sure everyone else is very safe. I've never had anything go wrong. Ever. And for the record, I don't do drugs all the time. I'm not a druggie. I'm not a burnout. I'm not a loser. I'm a fairly mature, logical person who is just trying to get advice so I can handle a situation I have never dealt with before in a more educated, mature manner. I've had the drug talks before, I don't need them again. Sorry if this rely sounded a little...rude? I just don't want to be judged for something like that.