Think my roommates want to swing with me, not sure how to find out

[corkwan]

yeah, most swingers are very straight in the rest of their lives. i thought the situational reference to drugs in your story was apt. it gave some clue as to the state of mind you were in. i was impressed at your wise decision to not encroach into sexual areas while tripping. that is a very good rule of thumb.

to sensuality, yes, i know a lot about psilocybin mushrooms. i've taken them probably over 100 times in my life, and i have not suffered the worst case scenarios posted in your article (which was fairly accurate, although focused on negative effects) i don't doubt that they can cause harm, but like climbing mountains (or drinking), i took precautious and read up on informative (rather than scare-tactic) sources. i seriously recommend people who take drugs to www.erowid.org for comprehensive information on drugs. i would also urge people to read http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/...ence_faq.shtml - i believe the section '3b. choice of companions' is actually a good life guide to going through any intense experience, from drugs to swinging.

i understand it is hard for some people to understand. but your narrow minded opinions are rather hypocritical, don't you think? you take risks, you do it for a reason. that reason is fun and adventure. please don't assume that all drug users are 'mindless zombies walking into doom', we're actually the same thrill seekers as you.

but like reading swingerboard, the more research you do, the more you know about the risks and how to avoid them.

that said, mixing two high-risk activities together, is of course, much higher risk...

[sensuality]

:rollseyes Perhaps you last 2 posters need to take a trip to the local psychiatric ward...90% of the people in there once said the same things you are saying. But, hey..I can't save the world,but I can try to get through to some. If you are smart now, and intelligent.NOW...Keep using the drugs and see where you land in a few more years...ahh, youth and its invincibilities!!Enjoy it while you can because reality will kick you in the ass sooner or later.

Notice of Interest:
SENSUALITY doesn't write about things unless she knows from personal and/or professional experience exactly what she is talking about.

[misterbates]

Originally Posted by DrDigital

Haha, i've done shrooms for a while. It's had no long term ramifications. I know a vast amount about them, and i'm not an idiot when it comes to doing them. I practice being very safe and making sure everyone else is very safe. I've never had anything go wrong. Ever. And for the record, I don't do drugs all the time. I'm not a druggie. I'm not a burnout. I'm not a loser. I'm a fairly mature, logical person who is just trying to get advice so I can handle a situation I have never dealt with before in a more educated, mature manner. I've had the drug talks before, I don't need them again. Sorry if this rely sounded a little...rude? I just don't want to be judged for something like that.

Yeah Right!!..sure your not......grow up... you are a child..you know nothing..youv'e seen no long term effects??..how can you?? your still a baby....your heading down a bad road. You'll lose the girl,and your friends....maybe your life...

Mr B

P.S. I agree with Sensuality 100%.....

[DrDigital]

Sure, i'm still a child in life at the age of 23. The fact remains, I know how to handle mushrooms. So do millions and millions of other people. Sure, some are probably lowlife burnouts. I know MANY people who have done, and/or still do mushrooms. They are hardworking, law abiding citizens (aside from posession of illegal narcotics.) and many are very wise. I, myself, am a calm, mature, very kind, law abiding citizen (again, aside from the narcotics posession). My friends also enjoy mushrooms. They, too, are calm, mature, kind, law abiding citizens (again, aside from posession). I get along very well with my friends. I am doing better than many people who DON'T do drugs. You don't know me, and you are throwing me in the boat with other people who do drugs. I appreciate your 'advice' about drugs, but I've heard it all before. The advice I want now is involving me and this couple, who I am very close to. It's probably pointless for me to defend myself, as i've talked to people like you before. Don't throw me in with a stereotype without knowing me please.

If it matters, I would still really appreciate advice involving the topic of me and this couple, because, as I said before, I am trying to handle this situation in a more mature and educated manner. And yes, I know that I need to handle the situation sober, which isn't a difficulty for me at all, as I am sober pretty much every day.

Edit: And yes, I do very much like that link ( http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/...e_faq.shtml#3b ) corkwan. I recommend you people read it. Tripping isn't like some "getting drunk in highschool and cause trouble" deal. It's very deep, and you can learn a lot about your friends, and yourself from doing it. I'm not "recommending" it either.

Okay, here is a reply that has nothing to do with 'shrooms.

The first time they wanted to get together he wanted you to "Do him in the Butt".

The first thing I would ask is if he is Bi or Bi-curious. Would an invite for a threesome mean they would expect guy on guy play?
In your first post it sounded like they wanted you to join them to play with HIM. But your later post sound like they are interested in the two guys pleasing HER.

I think you would definately want to find out where you would fit in and what your role would be. Especialy if you are not Bi or even curious.

[sensuality]

Thank you..Mr.B.

[DrDigital]

Well. He said that he didn't like the idea of anal, but kept saying to just do him and get it over with. I don't like the idea of anal either. I mean, I don't mind touching a guy. I'm not homosexual, but I definitely don't mind if I touch a guy, because I am comfortable with my sexuality. Maybe some would call that bi-curious, I don't know, haha. But it's probably not like they want me to please just him. I think it would be a standard MFM where the woman is the center of attention. I guess i'de find all that out in discussions... I'm just havin trouble bringing it up to both of them at once. I asked the woman in the couple to tell me if they were joking or serious, since I can communicate with her very well. She's just seemed in thought so far. So i'm just gonna let her think I guess. I guess i'm having a hard time verbally discussing it with both of them at the same time because I don't know 100% that they're serious about discussing the possibility of the 3 of us getting together. If they said "yes, we are serious" I would be happy to talk to both of them. Anyway, I got to go pick the lady of the couple up from work. So i'll just end this here for now.

Thanks, Naughty Couple.

[corkwan]

dr dig, sorry to jack this thread with drug speak.

geez sensuality, you are so closed minded. for your information, in my community, there are people who are in their 60s who have used drugs all their lives. i'm currently 31 and am doing my PhD and am paid by a very generous research grant, formerly i was a senior manager in a software company. among my drug using friends, i know a couple of millionaires, and many people who have their heads together. now, i have seen people go off the deep end, and i have seen how our community tried to deal with this. i don't deny that, but like everywhere in life, some people do go off the deep end. and sure, if you are going off the deep end, drugs may seem like a temporary relief but often make things worse.

about your 'notice of interest'... so you've seen someone young and stupid burn their life up with drugs. well, y'know, you can never stop all the tragedy of youth. on the other hand, resepecting youth enough to make informed decisisons and providing them with balanced drug taking information gives them the skills to try and navigate through life unharmed. your attitude is not one of respect. it is the same condecending know it all attitude that brought us D.A.R.E. lie and scare us, and the only thing we will believe is how full of shit you are. you telling me i should go to a psychiatric ward removed any trace of respect i had for you after you posted a reasonable piece of information on psilocybin mushrooms. all you do with your finger wagging is push the people you are trying to help away.

the old failed school: http://www.csdp.org/news/news/darerevised.htm

the future of drug education: http://www.harmreduction.org/prince.html

[Vespertine]

Although drug use is a great subject to debate, I need to ask you to please keep to the thread's subject line and perhaps continue your 'conversation' in PM.

*Please also remember....

It is against board policy to insult other members because they don't share the same beliefs as you. By telling members to "grow up" or to "take a trip to a psychiatric ward", you lower the standards of the board.

Julie works VERY hard to keep this board friendly. Please repect her wishes.

Thank You.

Vespertine
-Moderator

[DrDigital]

It's no problem corkwan, i'm just glad there's someone here who knows about that stuff too and who isn't throwing me in with a big stereotype.

Aside from all that, i've been very happy that i've been getting some advice on this situation i'm in. I'm feeling a lot more confident, and feel that i'm a lot closer to making progress.

Haha...yesterday the girl and the guy came into my room and I let the girl use my comp to check her emails and whatnot, and she saw "www.swingersboard.com" in my history and asks "sooo what is swingersboard?"

I didn't really know what to say. I probably should have just said to both of them "ok...swingersboard is a site where i've been looking for helpful advice... with what, you are wondering? Wellllll...... I've been getting these signs from you that make me think that you might want something to happen between the three of us... So thats what that site is there for... So I'll just say it. Do you or do you not want something to happen? Because i'm interested if you are, and i'm open for discussion."

I don't know if that's a good way to bring it up or not.

[WildMainePussy]

Since all three of you live in the same house this situation could blow up in your face if you're not careful.

Yes, all of you get off the heavy crap for this kind of discussion as you don't want the drugs talking. If it works out in your favor, why miss the experience that's it's own kind of high?

Since you are shy and not sure about how/when to bring this all up....I suggest you three go for a walk down the Oaks or up on the Prom ...go somewhere neutral where if it works out to be a big joke, you won't be associating your feelings or whatever sitting on the sofa or kitchen table. A move like that can help get it behind you. If it works out fine, you won't be able to rush back to the house fast enough!

But I'd be very suspicious about the requirement you do anal with the guy right off "to keep them together".. are you a performing monkey for their benefit or this some sort of proof of your affection towards her?

And consider how you guys are going to behave (if it happens) when your missing roomie gets back from Florida.

[DrDigital]

Well the thing about him wanting me to do him in the ass was the drugs talking that he was on. I do know that the truth CAN come out when people are tripping though. The girl told me that she didn't put him up to it. Basically he said I should just do him and get it over with. He didn't sound like he liked the idea of anal at all, but that (since he was on drugs) he thought it was something that HAD to happen, so he just wanted to get it over with. We just informed him that it didn't HAVE to happen, and the girl said that if it DID, it would be ok because it would have happened in our own house. I don't think there's much meaning in that "him wanting me to do him in the ass" thing, as it could have been the drugs talking. But she did say to me when we were alone later that night that " maybe he's always had a thing for you. I don't know, but he could have a thing for you and just not know what to do" She said something (I can't remember exactly how she put it) along the lines of "He just felt that he needed to have you do it, because our other roomate has been his best friend for a LONG time, and that you guys have been good friends for not as long...so he wanted it to be you" She also said something along the lines of "He felt like maybe because WE are so close (me and the girl) that he needed to let you know something." and also something about "him knowing that we both love her in different ways" I don't know how much of any of that is relevant, as we were all somewhat out of it. I like to think of the things that happened when we were sober as being relevant, but it's possible the truth did come out that shroom night, and I just couldn't believe it. Who knows. Right now i'm just thinking of ways to bring all this up. I just want them both to know my REASONING behind bringing it up. I want them to know the events which caused me to believe that maybe they want something to happen, that way I would feel more cautious in bringing it up..you know, so they don't think i'm just bringing it up outta the blue for some unknown reason. I guess it all just boils down to me growing some balls and just coming out with it?

Edit: Hmm.. We're really good friends with our other roomie, and knowing him, even if he DID find out that something happened between the 3 of us, he'd be like "Hahaha. Whatever. Doesn't involve me, right? So why should I care? Do what you please."

...In fact, i'm positive that is how he would react. Then he'd probably make fun of us for thinking he would care. LOL.
He's a pretty logical, chilled out guy.

[sensuality]

I will not be writing in this thread anymore...you can lead a horse to water as the saying goes!! And, in my opinion this whole situation is ridiculous...so, since I have absolutely nothing to offer to Dr.Digital,I'm out!! :rollseyes

I do have to say that it would seem to me in order to maintain some kind of self-respect...don't boink someone in the arse just to get a piece of that girl's pie...so to speak.Sounds to me like someone is trying to see how much of a fool you are willing to be for this girl. :rollseyes
Ciao!! Mon Chou'

[DrDigital]

Originally Posted by sensuality

I do have to say that it would seem to me in order to maintain some kind of self-respect...don't boink someone in the arse just to get a piece of that girl's pie...so to speak.Sounds to me like someone is trying to see how much of a fool you are willing to be for this girl. :rollseyes
Ciao!! Mon Chou'

For the record, I don't want to boink him in the arse, and he doesn't want me to. That much is pretty clear. I'm not a fool for this girl. They have both been on my mind constantly. Basically I am interested in having something happen because I love them both, and feel that if something did happen, me and the guy could come out of it being better friends, which would be a big plus, and the same with the girl. I'm not wanting this JUST for the girl. I want this to happen for many reasons. The thrill for one, and the bonding. Even if it was wierd, I know these people very well, and I think that we would still come out of it being better friends, because we would be more aware of each other and whatnot. We'll see what happens I guess.

[confunktion]

Originally Posted by DrDigital

I guess it all just boils down to me growing some balls and just coming out with it?

In a manner of speaking, yeah, I think that's your course of action now, IMHO. Don't be hard on yourself; this would be a difficult situation to a great many people, at least on some level. If you want to know, ask. Go with the honesty angle. If you really care about these two as much as you say, wouldn't being honest with them and asking for their honesty be a show of true respect?

Go get 'em, Doc.

Mr. Funk
Shrooms are for Koopa-Troopas.