found someone I know on a swinger site

[dave110256]

I have a good question for everyone and would appreciate some advise.
I was browsing SLS (I'm now a paid member) and I came across someone I know. I couldn't believe it when I saw his picture. My question is........This guy is a great guy, nice, attractive and I wouldn't mind having he and his wife swing with us. Should I approach them on the site and be up front with them letting him know that I know him. I don't want any uncomfortable feelings and am not sure whether or not they would find us compatible in this way either. Or should I just approach them as total strangers without including pictures and let it be a surprise to them? Or should I leave it alone?

[good times]

I definitely wouldn't go for the surprise scenario. I would be up front with them and just send them a note saying you were browsing sls and saw their add. If they are interested I'm sure they will get back to you and let you know.

[LikeMinds321]

Dito to good times. I wouldn't go the surprise route either.

I'd think this out very carefully. If you invited them to swing, what could the possible outcomes be down the road if they said yes; if they said no?

If you're likely to cross paths with these people often, it could be a problem in the future if they turn you down, or, if they accept and the swing doesn't go well. This is just one of the things I would consider before sending an e-mail off to people I already know.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

LM

[Alura]

We wouldn't surprise them. Surprises are seldom good in this hobby.

We would send them a message with attached vanilla pictures of us. Our message would say something like:

Hi, Bill & Hillary!

We saw your ad on SLS and were surprised and pleased that you two are in the lifestyle!

Please look at the attached pictures and let us know if y'all are interested in joining us for dinner to talk about our common interest. We are!

Wow! Y'all are very discrete! (That's good!) We had no idea! And after all those football games, we thought we knew you two quite well! What a surprise!

We hope to hear from y'all soon!

Mr. & Mrs. Alura

[looking2swing]

If these are people that you see often, I would say no. We have also ran into people we know at clubs and it is a little uncomfortable. If you don't have to see them all the time I would say to let them know that you are also into the lifestyle and interested in getting together. Good Luck

[Vespertine]

I think the Alura's propose your best option if you want to contact them.

It's a subtle way to let your intentions be known.

In fact, I think I might copy and paste that note into a file in case I ever run across someone I know on a site that I might want to contact.

[DBL D]

We might send an e-mail like that if we figured they liked us, even in a vanilla way. But I know, for example, that Fem D is very sensitive to anyone at work knowing we're in the lifestyle, even if they are in it too. Not sure exactly why she feels like she doesn't want to know about swingers in our area but that is the way it is.

Maybe you would just want to sort of keep track of them for awhile. See who certifies them, etc. Or how long it takes to get certified.

Besides, there are a lot of couples out there to meet that don't have the potential for harm that a relationship with someone that you know has.

Male D

[Nymph an' Satyr]

Yeah- I think I'll keep Alura's phrasology tucked away too. They were some well turned sentences.

[intuition897]

I like Alura's approach as well. You could possibly tack on an 'easy out' for your friends to the effect 'we'll understand if you don't want to become involved in any way with people you know in everyday 'vanilla' life. It was one of our concerns, too. At any rate, we just wanted to say hello. It's good to see such a nice couple as yourselves into the lifestyle; if you're interested in hanging out sometime with likeminded people, give us a shout.'

I'd be cautious about actually swinging with them until you knew for sure whether or not they'd be compatible with you both (just living in the same neighbourhood and being swingers doesn't qualify, obviously). As long as you're comfortable with them knowing that you, too, are swingers there's nothing wrong with extending friendly greetings to fellow lifestylers. It can be a tad lonely when the rest of the world just doesn't understand our values and priorities; finding friends to just hang out with locally would be really cool. Not necessarily for sex, but just for good company.

[Alura]

Intuition wrote:

You could possibly tack on an 'easy out' for your friends to the effect 'we'll understand if you don't want to become involved in any way with people you know in everyday 'vanilla' life.

We're going to file this under "Wish we'd thought of that first!"

Thanks, Intuition!

Alura

[innerspace]

Alura - I can't stop laughing.... "Hi, Bill & Hillary"

What a sense of humor!

Peace.

[Alura]

It's always pleasant to have people laugh at your jokes. Thanks, Innerspace.

Actually, some time ago we chose the Clintons as the celebrity couple we'd most like to play with.

Our reasons had nothing to do with politics or Monica's blowjob. We'd just like to explore their amazing minds in a way that is only possible after exploring a couple's bodies. To us, that's the best reward of swinging.

We don't know the Clintons, by the way.

Alura

[DBL D]

We have been with a couple that we knew hardly any more after we "did-it" than before.

Wonder if B&C would spill any stock tips during the heat of passion.

Male D

[Alura]

DBL D wrote:

We have been with a couple that we knew hardly any more after we "did-it" than before.

Yeah. So have we. But we didn't continue the friendship.

Alura

[DBL D]

We haven't seen them again either. I Like geting to know people. If we're gonna end up with just a few couples, we want them to Know and Like us.

I'm sure B&C is one of those couples for you! Not for us though...we don't allow cigars in the house!

Male D