At what age are you mature enough to understand swinging?

[SweetNStud]

Since we are a younger couple (26 and 27), we seem to attract couples and singles of all ages. Today an unmarried couple (18 and 20) contacted us and we were a bit shocked. At what age are you mature enough to understand this type of lifestyle and everything that comes along with it? Is 18 too young??

~SnS

[Spoomonkey]

Well - that's a little young - but I suppose I should post the "PC" answer...

It depends on the couple. I am sure that there are some 18 and 20 year olds out there who are mature beyond their years. In general, however, I can't imagine having much to talk to an 18 year old about...

"Really? My daughter listens to that, too! She really digs Chingy. Digs? It's sort of an older slang term, yes... It means 'likes a lot'."

And I'm only 35.

I think that the majority of people that young, likely have no idea what the lifestyle is really all about. The fact that they are unmarried would be a red flag as well - are they even mature enough to understand commitment?

There are lots of unmarried folks who understand commitment - and there are probably a few 18 year olds who understand what they are getting into. But it seems lately that "girls gone wold" sexuality is the current fad - and I wouldn't want to be a part of someone's bad memories of youth.

Spoomonkey

[SweetNStud]

Our thoughts exactly. Hard to think that an 18 year old would or could comprehend the whole swing thing. So far we have only been with couples that have been our age or older, and we plan to keep it that way for a while. Just had no idea that their were teenagers out there looking.

~SnS

[viper31631]

I'm 22 as of today and been doing this since i was 20...I think most people that know me would say I was def mature enough to handle everything. I think that for the most part 18-20 wouldn't be able to, but there are exceptions

[NotsoNew]

Dito . When I was 16, swinging was suggested to me. A year later, it was again. I did not know what to think!! All I know is that I was not ready for it.

I don't know what the magic age is, and I agree it depends on the couple. But as a rule, we generally don't look at anyone that is under 30. People need to learn who they are and what they can do together with out killing their relationship. But we would consider couples that are younger (and have been together for a while) if they seem mature for their ages...

We usualy stay away from couples that young.

Mrs naughty and I met an early age, both in our teens. If I think about us trying to swing that early in our relationship it would have been disasterous.

To much trying to feel secure with one another. It would have hurt my fellings bad when I was that young if I knew Mrs Naughty was looking at another guy and thinking about having his cock in her. Just as she would be upset about me thinking about putting my cock in another woman.

I had to feel like I was the only man in the world that she found attractive.

I know that is silly now and I knew it then. But as we grew closer & stronger in our relationship I grew more accepting of the fact that I am not the only cock in the world that can give her an orgasm.
I never thought about her with another man until I was secure enough in my manhood and our relationship to realize what a turn on that would be .

So to get back to my original point....
I associate others age to where we were in our relationship at that age and I know we couldnt have handled it so I assume they would have some of those same issues as well. Looking back now I think it was more of a maturity issue than anything else. Maybe thats wrong but its how we look at it.

[MrsBliss]

To me 18-20 seems too young. My husband an I have been together for more than 10 years and we were already together at that age. I remember that we fantasized about 3somes at that time, but never about couples (do not know why).

Imagination and fantasy however were enough at that time. I was way to young and not self confident enough at 18.

[GirlieZ]

Originally Posted by SweetNStud

Since we are a younger couple (26 and 27), we seem to attract couples and singles of all ages. Today an unmarried couple (18 and 20) contacted us and we were a bit shocked. At what age are you mature enough to understand this type of lifestyle and everything that comes along with it? Is 18 too young??

~SnS

My husband and I were 19 and 21 when we married (whew! we were young). We didn't talk about swinging until five years later and then didn't do it for another two.

I'm really not sure on this one....But I'm gonna go with my instinct and say that 18 is too young.

Zgirl

[HotCoupleGnS]

Personally I think that it all depends on the person. I am only 22 years old, & I was 20 when we had our firt experience. But, I am probably one of the most mature 22 year olds you will meet. If they people seem mature & are comfortable with their sexuality then it could work. People today are learning about sex & understanding it better at a younger age. But that doesn't got for all young people. I have met people that are older than me that are a whole lot more immature!

[ALilOEverything]

I was married when I was 19 when we did swing a couple times with close friends but never with strangers we met in a club or off the internet. It went well and didn't affect our relationship. We did later end the relationships but due to other problems.

I don't think I would want to be with anyone that young now, just because I don't connect with people that age as well anymore. Not that I'm that much older (I'll be 30 soon and my husband is 31) but with the kids and careers I don't think we would have much in common. Also that's just such a new relationship I wouldn't want to be a part of any complication. BUT we have been trying to look past age and look at the couples themselves so I guess it would ultimately depend on the couple. They would still have to at least be 21, old enough to buy their own drinks. We've been setting 27 as our minimum age for our search criteria.

[JustAskJulie]

I was about 21 when my ex and I started swinging. I remember some friends of mine prior to that mentioning that they were "swingers" (they were my age - not old enough to drink) and I remember thinking that I couldn't imagine being in a committed relationship and doing that.

It took a good bit of talking for us to get to the point where it was something we wanted to do and I learned as I went. But, that goes back to it depends on the person and the relationship.

I don't think you can look at JUST their age, you have to look at the person (or couple) as a whole and see who they are and find out what their maturity level is. I know some 18 year olds that you would think are 25 and some 30 year olds with the maturity of a 12 year old.

[BettyAnnMBSC]

I too got started in swinging young. Hubby is much older than I though -- by fifteen years. My first multi-partner experience was before we were married and I wasn't old enough to drink either

So, I'm thinking back to that time now and considering...

I wasn't a virgin at the time and I was far from chaste. It wasn't all that uncommon for me to have sex with more than one guy or girl in a 24 hours period. While I hadn't had a large number of parters (under 5) I did keep those partners into overlaps (wasn't monogamous). At any given time there were 3-4 guys available for sex before I was old enough to buy cigarettes.

Now, If I was having sex with two guys in the same day anyway, how far a step was it to go to an MFM. Too, if I was enjoying sex with Jane on the side while also playing with her boyfriend Dick at other times, how far a reach is it to enjoy Dick and Jane (FMF) at the same time? And, since I was playing with Dick and Jane -- why not invite my other BF Tom to join in?

So in my case it was a natural progression from my promiscuity to the lifestyle. I liken that to my common argument that "if I'm gonna fool around by my sexual nature, I had better be married to a guy who likes women that fool around..."

IMHO - it's not about age as much as it is about the sexual nature of the people involved.

[SweetNStud]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I don't think you can look at JUST their age, you have to look at the person (or couple) as a whole and see who they are and find out what their maturity level is. I know some 18 year olds that you would think are 25 and some 30 year olds with the maturity of a 12 year old.

Totally agree, that is why we have a broad age range. However, we like our playmates to be at least drinking age since we like to go out and all. I guess if we were just in this for pure sex, it wouldn't matter.

~SnS