Young couples

[JTswing]

I have read alot of posts that seem to discriminate against couples under 30 and couples who are new to the lifestyle. What are your reasons for this? the wife is 30 and I am 27 and new to the lifestyle. From what I've seen from most of the post we are going to have a hard time enjoying ourselves with all the difficulties finding someone who fits into our want catagories and willing to work with "newbies".

[danc694u]

Actually, you should have no trouble

We're very picky with the "younger" couples that we might have an interest in. But, that is due to a bad experience.

It all comes down to the same thing you heard through high school. You're not mature enough yet. Or at least some couples aren't. And it gives the whole group a bad name.

There are exceptions! So don't take any of that the wrong way. You just have to make sure your interest are real, and expressed.

By expressed, I mean be mature enough to lay out your expectations/requirements without embarrasment.

Example of what not to do!
Don't wait until you've gotten a couple into your bedroom to let them know you're only interested in stuffing oranges up their butt. That's a bit extreme...but it gets the point across.

[Stratecpl]

well..as one of the posters who did say we didn't look for couples under 35.. I'll tell ya why...SO FAR...(note I said so far) we have not met any that are really truly ready to be in this lifestyle yet or they lack the experience sexually....ok..ok..I know that not ALL younger couples are like this..but the one's we've met/played with are. the men are not as experienced at..."holding out" as an older man is and the women sometimes are a little naive still in doing differant things sexually..example..a twenty something girl says to hubby or any other older man..ewww..you wanna do what?? Ok again I know not ALL are like that...The single men we play with agree..I always ask the same question of all of the younger men who contact us..why me? Why and older woman? I always get the same answer...the younger women are not experienced enough. I don't mean to offend by this..but it's just in OUR limited experience thats the way it's been... If we meet a younger couple who we click with and they are mature and got their shit together in swinging then by all means yes we will play with them.

Connie

[TNT]

Originally posted by Stratecpl:
ewww..you wanna do what??
Connie

LMAO...I remember saying the same thing at one time in my life..lol..now I say, What do you mean you don't do that?

Older people do make better lovers, but, being with a younger couple/man/woman, does have its own appeal..there's nothing like watching their face when you introduce something new to them for the first time..its either shock that you even suggested it or pure pleasure with them wondering why they hadn't tried it before.

Hey..I love the older and the younger crowd. I like teaching and being taught new things.

Teresa

[NealnAnji]

And how about swingign with couples that are quite a bit, 10 0r 15 years older than you are? How about couples in their 50s, 60s maybe? Would you have a problem in playing with and having intercourse with a couple in this age group?

[PA_RACERS]

We are 26 and 27 and and we swing with mainly people in there late 30's to later 40's. I am utterly offened in couples our ages. I never knew they acted so immature. My husband and I are nothing like that. We lay everything out before we even decide on swinging with another couple. I am beginning to see why we have trouble getting couples to take us seriously.

marsha

[Jem]

As someone said on another board, I think a lot of it may have to do with the parents/children thing.

I am in my late 20's. My parents are in their 50's. I have no problem with older couples in their 30's or 40's, but when they start getting into my parents' age range, it gets kinda creepy to me. NOT because I don't find them attractive physically or because I find them less worthy. In fact, there was one man a year or 2 older than my dad who I thought was VERY hot. But he *talked* just like my dad. He thought in many of the same ways as my dad. He wore the same types of clothes as my dad, etc. etc. It ended up being just too creepy for me.

I think it may work the same in reverse. A couple in their late 40's, or in their 50's or 60's might have children the same age as us. While they may find us physically hot (as I found the guy my dad's age), the fact that we talk the way their children talk, dress the way their children dress, etc. may also just creep them out too much. Which I understand.

[Puma]

.

I think there are alot of good points made....and I agree that most younger people arent ready for the experimentation of different things. Some people mature at slower rates than others do....especially sexually. Another thing is at a young age...honesty ,understanding, and being upfront just isnt the norm.

I personally am brand new to the scene..I am very interested in the lifestyle and have been taking it very slow. I have yet to meet up with anyone or go to any events. What I am doing instead is reading alot of messages from y'all....to see what is expected ,liked ,disliked and such. I have one couple I have started talking with yesterday...and hope to become friends with them...I have explained that I have never done this before...but understand the respect for boundaries and understand that I am the one being let in on their sexual life. I also have explained that I am not pushy at all about this....we can first go out for dates first to get to know one another with no expectations included...if it happens it happens....but nothing is expected at first.

I have read quite a few horror stories about single guys and realize that young single guys have 2 strikes against them...I hope to be the exception to the rule.Also sexually I am very open minded....the only thing I put off limits is me being with another guy sexually...I am not gay at all...I dont mind mfm 3-somes...or anything like that...you know what I mean I have tried experimenting alot in my sex life..and have gotten alot of funny looks and questions like that also..so I know what you mean"you want to do what?"...lol

Well..I dont think a post will change many minds..but I hope it does make others aware that some younger single guys are aware of what is expected and desired of the single guy in the swing scene..I think If I stay honest ,respectful ,and understanding I should do ok ..I hope to meet and make friends with as many people as I can..as I am very serious about this.

And they all lived happily ever after(sorry about the book)...lol :p

[danc694u]

I guess the question we should be asking of younger swingers.

Is your mom gonna freak, when you come home with a bite mark?

That's what did it for us!!! Dayum!!! Never knew grown, married, & consenting adults, still needed moms permission for that!

Now you know why we steer clear of younger couples. Believe it or not!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by danc694u:
I guess the question we should be asking of younger swingers.

Is your mom gonna freak, when you come home with a bite mark?

Now that is just too funny.... can we say
untie those apron strings!? LOL

[PA_RACERS]

As a young couple who doesn't fit in these stereo type, How do we get over them?

[Puma]

.

Well to answer the question..NOPE....I havent lived with my mom since I was 18...and I live 1100 miles away from her now ..amazingly...we get along better that way...lol

And if she did live near me...it wouldnt be the first bite marks she has seen on me..lol

I just wanted some people to realize that there are exceptions to every rule...and we are out there looking for good people to have good times with....and it is hard for us to get noticed as...alot of people are skiddish at talking with young single guys.

I will keep a positive attitude and hope to meet some cool people as time goes by.

.

[danc694u]

Originally posted by Puma:
I just wanted some people to realize that there are exceptions to every rule

That's why we haven't completely ruled them out :p

[ 11-04-2001: Message edited by: danc694u ]

[youngswingers]

Ironically, if us younger swingers would live by stereotypes, the way some older swingers do, this community would be a very different place.

In our experiences in the swinging world there are just as many "older" swingers that don't lay down ground rules, communicate poorly with others, or are "too easy to please". I know some of you have had your personal horror stories to make you feel this way, but this message board is full many more of those stories involving older swinger.

Just like in the "real" world, stereotypes are often constructed to make artificial divisions. It is much easier for us to lump a group of people for judgment than it is to judge each person/couple on an individual basis.

That being said, I would agree, for many of the reasons posted before, that large age differences can make things uncomfortable. It is not my argument that swingers of all should be happy to swinger together; only that prejudice against swingers merely because of their age is misplaced.

As a community we should look at this issue as preparation for the future. Is swinging going to be generation-exclusive? Middle aged swingers get older, younger swingers become middle aged. For the health of the community in the future it would be great to see groups and clubs reach out to the up and coming (no pun intended) with the knowledge that, one day, those younger swingers will be the ones running such establishments.

Just my two cents! By the way, there is growing trend of younger swingers. Search around the internet and share any resources you find!

[ 11-04-2001: Message edited by: youngswingers ]

[MattLisa]

Interesting! I've never put two and two together as to why we always end up playing with older couples... We're both 23, so I could totally see people thinking that we were immature etc., but I do know that I make a point of making comments in ads I place about how long we've been playing with others as a couple (2 years). Right now we are new to the swinging clubs or defined swinging, so I'm trying to feel things out before jumping into a party, so this is all great information. Before we would just post at various "sex boards" which would work out pretty good most of the time, but could be very frustrating when people didn't listen to our ads and responded (we only play when both of us are present). I will now try to make sure my ads stand out as *mature* young adults in order to not scare anyone away!