Age trends we've noticed at the club

[incommunicado]

We recently stepped up the pace a little, setting up a profile on swinglifestyle.com and visiting a local, off-premises club for the first time last week (and twice this week).

We noticed two interesting traits in the 20's to late 30's age range.

1) A lot of the couples we found online are made up of mid-to-late 30's guys and early to mid-20's girls. (i.e, Him: 37, Her: 25)

2) Several of these same couples we found are not married, and two that we met personally have been "in the lifestyle" since the beginning of their relationships (1-2 years ago on average).

Any thoughts?

[Chicup]

We see a lot of 'May/Dec' types at the clubs.

I wonder if this is more common for swingers then non.

[curious24]

i've noticed that too.. and i've always found it kind of odd..

needless to say i don't understand why this is.. but there is a lot of stuff why i don't understand why things are the way they are.

[OhioCouple]

We are a May/December romance/married couple. Granted we are older...however..

I don't think you can guage a relationship by commitment (in this case marriage) or their openenss with each other.

While still in my twenties, I was attracted to older males as they had (sorry guys) more maturity which matched mine. While I ddn't commit to a lifetime relationship until well into the relationship with my husband, we talked of (we didn't know it then) swinging. Very early on.

Would we have persued it unmarried? Most likely. It interested us both and we were open enough with each other to talk about it.

From what I have come to learn over the last couple of years, is that you can be any age and enjoy your sexuality. I really don't think age itself has a bearing on it. Perhaps these guys are ten miles (or ten years) ahead of some of us older folks.

[Chicup]

I'm just curious if there is larger % of swingers that are may/dec then the percentage of may/dec that are 'normal'.

Is there something about it that makes people more open to swinging?

Is it the man being older and less jealous?

or is it just that we happen to think we see more may/dec types as swingers, when in reality its no different then the whole population.

(One study found a lot of XYY males in prison, and assumed that XYY made you agressive, then when the whole population was studied it turned out the XYY population in prison was no greater then in the general population)

[incommunicado]

It isn't just that they are May/December, it is that they are not married, have not been together for very long (1-2 years) and don't seem to be in committed relationships.

I guess I'm just a freaky romantic. I see swinging, at it's best, as something to enhance a long term, stable relationship.

[Chicup]

Well we don't even THINK about it unless they have been married for at least 4 years.

To each their own I guess.

[thekolonel]

"1) A lot of the couples we found online are made up of mid-to-late 30's guys and early to mid-20's girls. (i.e, Him: 37, Her: 25)"

The age difference itself isn't a big deal to us. What is vexing is that we sometimes meet young, pretty women attatched to guys who are not that attractive physically or even personality-wise.

"2) Several of these same couples we found are not married, and two that we met personally have been 'in the lifestyle' since the beginning of their relationships (1-2 years ago on average). "

Well, hell, we aren't married. But then again we've been together many years. We don't expect others to be married, but we look for signs that their relationship is stable. When we hear they've been swinging since day one it's a definite red flag for us.

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by Chicup
Well we don't even THINK about it unless they have been married for at least 4 years.

To each their own I guess.

Chicup, I think I understand your reasoning behind the 4 year time (relationship stability), but might I suggest you re-think the issue of marriage?

Often times, people do not marry for a variety of reasons such as financial and/or inheritance issues, issues related to children from previous marriage, etc. Many people, especially the more...ahhh, shall we say..."mature" people ( ) are in commited relationships, but have elected not to legalize the union.

Just a thought....EBF

[RMRx2]

Often times, people do not marry for a variety of reasons such as financial and/or inheritance issues, issues related to children from previous marriage, etc. Many people, especially the more...ahhh, shall we say..."mature" people ( ) are in commited relationships, but have elected not to legalize the union.

Just a thought....EBF

THANK YOU EBF

sweetie and I have been together almost 3 years,,,,,,,,,,and when things pick up,(ah thanks a bunch GW) we want to do something special for a wedding,,,,,small, quiet, but special,,,,,but it dosen't mean we are not a mature,secure, commited, and loving couple

pre-judging is self-limiting

rmrx2

[incommunicado]

Marriage isn't the big issue for us, it's the short term relationships and the swinging since day one.

I still think the age difference is because neither late 30's, unmarried guys, nor early to mid 20's unmarried girls, generally have the desire to settle down and both are generally sexually adventurous.

It all seems to be more of a recipe for partnered promiscuity than relationship enhancement.

[Bedmates]

I think jealousy/maturity is a big part of it. Guys in their 20's tend to think they "own" their girl, but later in life we can appreciate our women as individuals.

She was 23 and I was 32 when we met. We've been inseperable ever since and nothing but death will ever part us.

We talk about everything and we allow each other to be our own individual and have our own thoughts/dreams/fantasies.

I wasn't like that when I was 23! I wanted a woman that was going to be there when I needed her and leave me alone when I needed to do my thing.

I see that now with a coworker. She's 20 and can't understand why her 21 y/o boyfriend wants to go out with his buddies and do his thing without her. He's starting to look at older guys that are ready to settle down and not play games...