Dealing with age gap

[alabamafuntonig]

we bit our toungs i really felt bad for the wife...and my wife felt bad too she was a nice girl but taken advantage of at such a early age ...we called it quits very early.

[naughty A]

wow... that's terrible, all around. And shame on them for misrepresenting themselves.

I can bet things were a bit frosty...

too bad.

[JustAskJulie]

Are you sure that the kid is THEIRS together and not that she had him/her prior to when they actually met/got together?

I think the lying about age is enough of a reason not to see them again tho... even if it was just a few years. What's the point in lying if it's only a few years here or there, unless there is something more to it.

[alabamafuntonig]

well julie there kid is theres and now i cant get him off my back ! what a mess I hope he is reading this! I spent 3 months thinking he was a certain age and his wife was a certain age . you know it ticks me off! if your 50 tell me your 50 not 46 if your wife is 26 tell me she is 26 not 28 . they even lied about the town they lived in it was 20 miles further than what they said. now i cant trust anything he says .it was a good conversation everyday with him now i cant stand to get a email from him....

[ciscosv]

That is some weird shit. There is a reason why a homless "signer" guy ALWAYS got 5 bucks from me. He held cardboard sign which which read, "Why lie, I need a beer!"

They were fakin' the funk like silicone tits. (No offence)

I could go on......



Sorry to here about your situation. How can we come up with some dodge techniques for you two? Maybe a whole new topic for us.

[alabamafuntonig]

great idea go post it ill sure come up with a list!

[ciscosv]

I neglected to mention that I NEVER give homless people money!

[alabamafuntonig]

I and Mrs. Bama saw this homeless man 3 weeks in a row in front of the grocery store that we went to years ago. His sign said ill work for food... after the 3rd time we stoped a little miffed we asked if he would like to help me do some yard work and we will give him a hot supper and let him use the shower. He told me and my wife he was homeless because he could no longer work. We threw him a couple of bucks and never stopped again. Call me naive but why the sign. Why not just beg.

[wrnakedru]

Next time the less than appealing guy ambushes you on line, and seems to be pushing for the next round with him and his little lady - you could try some things that might at least amuse YOU.

Have a feeling his skull is too thick and brain too small for subtlety, though.

Idea #1 - Tell him that you and Mrs. Bama are chillin' for a bit until the reports from the lab get back. (drop it there, or add "Doc says it COULD be as simple as a yeast infection..............."and just trail off there!)

Idea #2 - Tell him you and Mrs. Bama have been wondering if he had same lawyer on retainer all those years? You speculate how one lawyer could be sharp enough to beat a statutory rape charge and yet ineffectual enough to drag a divorce out for 6.5 years?

Idea #3 - Tell him you and Mrs. Bama do have some ongoing questions you are really curious about the answers to - like was the now-wife a baby-sitter for him and former wife? Was she maybe best friend to his daughter from the former marriage? Or had this been a threesome thing with former and present wife and him? And you and Mrs. Bama have heard some folks even go in for that family fun thing - you'd always thought that was pretty sick, but it did seem they had been a perfect setup for it?

And that in closing, although you really did wonder what the whole truth might be - neither one of you felt that was a good enough reason to see them again, since you didn't feel the truth was something you could ever count on hearing from him

I guess it just depends on how thick his hide is, how pushy he is, and how much you want to amuse yourself. Truly don't believe any of the normal, straight, or lifestyle rules of courtesy really apply to this guy.

But if you're the guy I think you are - like most of us, it is just not in you to be that flagrantly in someone's face. (Unless he REALLY pushes it - then GO FOR IT!)()()

[sportync]

When I met Mrs. Sporty she was 17 and I was 17 years older at 34. That was almost 25 years ago and we continue to grow closer as time goes on. We've met with some problems along the way, but never has the age difference been one of them. We've always been able to communicate with each other about everything, and treat each other with the utmost respect. She has always preferred guys a bit older than she, and I guess I've always preferred ladies younger then my own peers, so things have worked out well for us so far. I do believe in honesty, though, so if someone lies about the little things(a year or two), then it seems to me that they will lie about important things as well. I just don't like being lied to about anything. If you can't tell the truth, then don't waste my time with your lies. That, to me is the real issue here, not how much older this guy is. There's no age limit on trust, honesty and freely sharing your real thoughts and feelings. And don't think for a minute that us "old farts" can't cut the mustard. The first time we were with another couple for same room soft-swing, the other guy just stopped doing his wife and sat there watching me and Mrs. Sporty going at it, obviously impressed with the agility and stamina of this "old fart"! He even commented to his wife about it, so don't put us old stallions out to pasture before you're sure that we've ridden our last ride! Sportync

[M&B]

Admiration for wrnakedru has reached an all time high.

Brilliance can be too flashy. Subtle brilliance shines brighter in my eyes, and casts less of a shadow.

[wrnakedru]

Originally posted by M&B
Admiration for wrnakedru has reached an all time high.

Brilliance can be too flashy. Subtle brilliance shines brighter in my eyes, and casts less of a shadow.

And may I reciprocate by confessing: it always raises my opinion of a person's intelligence when they are smart enough to appreciate just how wonderful I am!

[bear_n_bunny]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
So I was worried last night about meeting the couple that the man was older than us right? Well let me tell you that’s not all I had too worry about!
Not only was he older than he said he was his wife was younger than she said she was it was not by much a few years here a few years there. (As they jokingly said to us with a straight face at my kitchen table). I and Mrs. Bama almost dropped dead there was 25 years between them. That not being the major problem. After 2 hours with them we started doing the math in our head (on there 8 year old child they have together) lets see

The couple’s wife just turned 26 he is 51

26 -8.5 (kid) = 17.5(age of wife at her child birth)
Take in mind it takes 9 months to have a baby on average
17.5 -9 months= 16.9 or so (wifes age at conception)
That means he got her pregnant at 16(wife still a minor) when he was 41(hubby)

Oh my head what the hell do I do. Oh ya and there married only 2 years, he had to wait for his divorce to finalize before they could get married.

I'm afraid some of you are being naive about this situation with the older man and younger woman. The fact is that, particularly in some parts of the country (such as the Deep South, which includes Alabama), an older man marrying himself some sweet young thing is not that unusual. And no matter where you live, north, south, east or west, you all have come across this sort of thing at one time or another, albeit perhaps a bit more rarely.

May-December (as they used to be called) marriages are not as common as they used to be, but they do still happen. I'm 49, and when I was still single I had my share of young twentysomething gals hitting on me, and I even let a few catch me (which is how I came to set "Bear's Rule of Life #1", which is "don't be caught dead with anyone under the age of 35"). Fact is there are some young women out there who like older men, just as there are older men who like younger women. Does this mean I approve? See "Bear's Rule of Life #1" for your answer. But as long as it's legal (and no, I'm not referring to these idiotic "sodomy laws" and such) and "consensual", I don't get too torqued about what other people do in this regard.

Which brings up the point of "statutory rape"; I assume this phrase was used tongue-in-cheek, but the fact is that the age of consent in Alabama is sixteen (as it is in 32 other states), hence she was not a "minor", at least where sex is concerned, in the eyes of the law. So assuming the age calculations are correct, and her kid really is his, then it was perfectly legal for her to spread her legs for this guy and for him to give her the high hard one, however much we may look askance at a 41 year old boffing a 16 year old, let alone knocking her up.

As for the lying about their ages (and where they live; I don't know what to make of that last, because I can't see what difference 20 extra miles would make, unless they live 20 miles farther away than some ironclad distance limitation you might have), while I don't approve of lying about age, it happens a lot, especially in this arena, and especially with older people. There are so many people in swinging who have hangups about age, particularly younger looking at older (look at how this thread got started). Many are the times I've come across both singles and couples who had fudged their ages by a few years because they were afraid that they would be discounted on that score, and most of the time they would be right. Bunny and I met a very nice couple last weekend, and initially they stated their ages as him 53 and her 58. During the course of the evening she admitted that she was in fact 61.

Some people would have gotten their panties in a wad over this bit of misdirection, but we did not. For one thing, we understood it in a way that most younger people could not, and for another, she damn sure did not look her age. Bunny and I understand that if the chemistry is there, age is irrelevant, especially where people close to our own ages (where our preferences lie) are concerned. Now, had she said she was 41 instead of 58, that would have been stretching things too far, and it's really dumb to do that (she is not dumb), because the first time you meet the person, the truth will come out. However, this lady could pass for 48 easily, let alone 58, so it was not an issue for us.

A question for the Bamas; would you have known they lied about their ages if they had not admitted it to you?

Setting aside the issue of when he fathered the girl's child and how you feel about that (and given that it was a legal coupling, like it or not, it's really none of your business), do you think that their lying about their ages was meant to be malicious or hurtful to you? I'm assuming that you already knew what they both looked like, and considered them to be acceptable as potential bed partners, or you would not have invited them into your home. I think you can see where this is leading.

Boys and girls, I hate to break it to you, but EVERYBODY lies. In human interaction, a certain amount of lying is an absolute necessity. Example; we have all rejected another couple or individual at one time or another because we were not attracted to them, or they had some characteristic that just "didn't do it" for us. Now, when this happened, did you tell that person or couple the truth? Unless you are just the consummate boor, hell no. That would be cruel. The nice thing to do, the kind thing to do, is come up with some "white lie" to cover why you don't want to pursue things, and move on.

So, there are white lies and malicious lies, and we all know that sometimes white lies are necessary to smooth over those little bumps in the road of life. The trick is to differentiate the two.

The question you have to ask yourselves is, once again, do you think this couple was trying to pull something over on you, or were they simply trying to improve their chances of being accepted by you (albeit in a very clumsy way which ended up failing anyway)?

Nobody likes being lied to, even when it's necessary. But it does happen, and we've all done it, especially in the context of this lifestyle, and it's naive in the extreme to think otherwise. As long as the lie was not an attempt to scam you, or to otherwise be hurtful (and so far, I've read nothing here that makes me think it was in this case), I would suggest not getting in quite so much of a twist over it.

Bear

[dreamers]

Bear,
Awesome reply! You are right,I do believe everyone lies about something, weight height age... always seems to be something.
As for the age thing, we have no real preferences, what we desire is compatability with the other couple regardless of age and a spark....any age is fine as long as we feel something for them and they are honest on the dd thing.....the fact that the girl was maybe 16 and pregnant...well so was i once...just not to an older man....Maybe it's just personal preference to be with some one that much older whos to say...but it's really none of my bussiness..lol
facelick

[alabamafuntonig]

I was not so much mad at the tiny lies it was the tiny lies that were everywere. ok so alabama a girl can have sex at 16 ..he not a staatory rapist. still gives me the willys that he lied. and did so for 3 months. as far as knowing the diffrence between 3-4 years no i would not have , but he also said d+d free , I wonder if he was its just a small lie right?