Older Woman Advice

[Sakaysi]

DOn't know if this is the right forum....
I'm 27...single...graduated from med school in july 2002...
I was working at a hospital a few months back with a female doctor who I find extremely attractive......She's divorced (or separated)...waaay older than i am..(probably has kids older than i am) ..To most people she comes across as very cold and impersonal, but I chalk it up to her just going thru some rough times...
We've probably had like 3 conversations...I've been the one to initiate all 3...
The first time we exchanged words was one morning I saw her with her hair up in some high heels and a very sexy outfit....I told her ..Dr..so and so...I luv the outfit....She smiled nervously (i think) and said thanks...
OTher time we spoke I asked her how did she deal with the discrimination against female surgeons when she just started....she went on to tell some things she went thru...
After those talks we've only exchanged hi's and byes...
Last time we spoke she told me she would be going on leave to visit her daughter overseas..she mentioned (out of context i thought) that her daugters' father had remarried.....

I want to let her know that I find her very attractive and would luv to explore the possibilty of having an a sexual relationship with her (if she's into that of course)....
My problem is this however....I'm no longer working at the hospital she's at.....Its hard as hell for me to leave work and go to see her during the day and if i do get the chance..chances are she'll be surrounded by others when i get to see her...

Thing is while i was at her hospital all the senior doctors numbers and addresses were in a folder for us junior doctors to call if we had a problem while on call....

So...what should i do??....Go back get the number from the folder, call her??....if so what should i say....i don't want to seem like a young stalker....should i go to the hospital and wait no matter how long till i can get her alone and tell her whats on my mind?
Should I forget it and stick to ladies my own age...(she's in her late 40's early to mid 50s)

[KajiKurai]

The fact that you no longer work with her doesn't have to be a bad thing. You know where to find her. I say send her some flowers and invite her out for coffee or some such activity.

If she decides to take you up on it all the better. Don't let age be a factor if you're attracted to her. Personally I think that most older women would be flattered that they can get the attentions of a younger man.



KajiKurai


P.S. Sometimes women are like wine. They're much better if they've aged a touch.

[Roxysbayou]

Sometimes women are like wine. They're much better if they've aged a touch.

Oh I hope so!

I agree with the flowers idea, maybe something simple and springy. I would steer away from roses at first, that may seem to forward.

I would say something like- I enjoyed working with you...We should get together sometime...leave your number.

[KajiKurai]

Sakaysi,

I'd follow Roxy's advice.....Sounds like an ideal way to find out if she's interested without coming on to strong.

Thanks Roxy. Your suggestion is one for my own notes.

KajiKurai

[Flori_DAMAN]

Maybe I missed something here.

You talked to her 3 times. She is much older. She is attractive and you have never had a personal conversation with her.

You want to have a sexual relationship with her.

It sounds to me like if you sent her flowers she would laugh.

I'm not trying to be sardonic but you have nothing to base sending her flowers on.

If you want any chance in the world you would need to establish contact with her. YOu would need to actually go out of your way and risk rejection by approaching her and saying "hey I just got to know you a little but am very attracted to you and just wondered if you found me at all interesting".


I know a lot of 40 plus good looking medical professionals and they are usually intellectual and very use to young guys wanting sexual relationships. FLowers would kind of be lame in my humble opinion.

Most of them like older guys anyhow. They are usually enticed and stimulated by conversation that at least is on a par with there own experiences but like men with experiences that supersede their own. Usually if they are single they are very picky also. They have depth. They generally are conversative and won't let their hair down unless someone really blows their skirt up. Lets face it they have patients, doctors, administrators, friends, and socialites that come on to them all the time.

I have found that infactuation usually leads to frustration.

My advice would be to go find a smaller fish in a bigger pond.

But if you send her flowers and get somewhere let us know cuz I'd be totally amazed.

John.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Sakaysi
I want to let her know that I find her very attractive and would luv to explore the possibilty of having an a sexual relationship with her (if she's into that of course)....

John and Roxy both have very good points also, I'll relay my experiences of being both on the sending and receiving sides.

YOu would need to actually go out of your way and risk rejection by approaching her and saying "hey I just got to know you a little but am very attracted to you and just wondered if you found me at all interesting

I have walked in the position of what it typically a man's shoes.

There was a guy that I worked with, (although we worked opposite shifts) And I really, really had the hots for him. Now mind you I was probably about your age. I wanted him terrible for "sex". What I did was pick up a card (humorous with and edge of sex in the context) and sent him a brief note letting him know what I felt. I did this three times. The first two times I was an anonymous sender, the third time I gave my name and phone number. It was kind of like giving an element of mystery.

End result, he was flattered we dated for a while, we had sex, I quickly lost my infatuation as the man just plain stunk in the bed. And he wasn't anything near mentally that I would have liked as a person when I got to know him better. But I'd have never known that had I not followed through with my lustfull desires.

Have to agree with Roxy on the flowers deal, don't send roses. Bad call for a first attempt. Go with something along the lines of "tiger lilies" in a nice floral arrangement, or whatever is in season at the moment. Attach a card to it and if your braver than I was go ahead, put your name and number in the first note. My thinking though is people like the element of being secretly romanced and if she is anything like I was (which it sounds like as you said she comes across cold and impersonal) then a fast approach will most like "turn her off".

I turned away many advances of that nature during my single years. My now husband....and to this day I still get tingly at remembering this, after much just in passing hello's and brief conversations over several years, one day he walked into my office and closed the door part way. He looked at me and said,

"I am going to be out of town for the next two weeks, but I thought perhaps when I return that maybe you would be willing to join me for breakfast some morning when you aren't to busy."

Number one, a breakfast didn't sound like he wanted a roll in the hay. Number two, I remember how frightened he looked just to ask me. (He is 15 years my senior)

The end result was we had dinner together instead of breakfast. Second date we were rolling in the sack and several years later we married.

Which ever way it works out for you, you'll never know what you have missed (or would have rather skipped) if you don't take a risk.

Good luck and I would love to hear what you decide and if you wind up in a "love story" or a "horror story".

Lori

[NightGoddess]

Sakaysi,
I think you should just follow your instincts and be yourself. If that means getting her number and leaving her a 'voice mail, then go ahead. If getting her address and dropping a card and small bouquet with a note (with your number) --- then do so!
I know it's hard to imagine what to expect when you are quite a bit younger than the woman.....but at the same time, being authentically yourself is the nicest way to break the ice. It's something you can't fake, and will help her to get to know the real you.

Is it possible you might want a more-than-sex relationship?

Also, not working in the same Hospital is actually a plus!
I've met people I'd be attracted to if I weren't working at the same Hospital...the gossip-mill is alive and well. Out of respect for anyone I work with, I'd hesitate before seeing them socially. If the chemistry, or anything else goes awry, it can be akward afterwards when you run into them...see what I mean?
So I encourage you to be persistent. And don't be afraid of pushing your comfort zone and ask the hard question: if she turns down a date, or an opportunity for coffee, be brave. Ask her if she is not dating at this time....or if she means she is not interested. Sometimes we single ladies need time to think about someone who asks us for a date. I don't know what that's about, but it is true for me.
Keep in mind that if she doesn't want you as a 'boyfriend'....she may still be open to the idea of developing a friendship. Friends are so important! And good friends are something that take time and effort to develop.
If she is the kind of woman you are looking for, your age won't make a shred of difference.
---It is wonderful to meet men who are emotionally and intellectually mature! It is refreshing to be recognized as wiser, experienced, and desireable.
I will say (as an older woman), I worry about what a younger man's parents would think about a relationship. They might dislike the fact that a woman my age could not give them grandchildren. But it it's not an issue for you, it shouldn't be for your lady friend....or your folks.
I hope this has been helpful and supportive.
I wish you the best of luck!
Keep us posted, you express yourself very well. Can't imagine she would turn you down!
--And a small bouquet is a charming idea.

Kajikurai (sp?) --I love the quote!

[Ashley]

As an "older" woman that has a younger boyfriend, I can tell you, don't come on like you just want a sexual relationship. She has to think that you are interested in her personally or this is not going to work. There are a whole lot of guys out there that are just interested in MILF and it is usually not very flattering. I'm just starting to get comfortable with the idea of being with a younger man and mine is only slightly younger. A big age difference would scare me even more. So my advice is....go slow and be friends first.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Ashley
There are a whole lot of guys out there that are just interested in MILF and it is usually not very flattering.

What is an MILF That is a new one for me.

Lori

[naughty A]

I hope Ashley comes back and tells us.

MIL - usually means Mother in law - but that doesn't make sense does it?

[TNT]

A MILF is the Mother I'd Love to Fuck. A little crude, but i know several!

Ted

[jen]

When I grow up, I hope someone thinks I'm an MILF. If TNT are right about the meaning that is.

Sakaysi, I hope you've already made a move. Numbers (age) only have meaning when it's illegal.

When you want something, take your chances or someone else will take them for you.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by TNT
A MILF is the Mother I'd Love to Fuck. A little crude, but i know several!

OMGoodness......are you serious?

Lori

[Ashley]

Yep, there's even a website...check out www.milf.com

[Chris&Amelia]

The term "MILF" came into common usage with the movie American Pie.


[While looking at a picture of Stifler's mom]
Milf guy 1: Dude that chick's a MILF!
Milf guy 2: What to hell is that?
Milf guy 1: M-I-L-F. Mom I'd like to fuck!
Milf guy 2: Yeah dude! Yeah!