Swinging as a mature couple?

[Harold_N_Ann]

We are a mature couple (just entered our 50s).

Are there many other mature "newbie" couples out there?

[BradAndJanet]

Well, we're 44 (in a month) and 45. Not quite as "mature" as you, I suppose, and we may not fit your description We've had one experience, so I would say we're relative newbies. I don't think it's that unusual. It's an interesting question though; what prompted you to ask?

-B

[OhioCouple]

We started about 18 months ago and have had several experiences.

My husband is 57 and I am 42. We consider ourselves in the more mature group and have met quite a few couples both new and experienced in our age group.

Lori

[Elusive BiFem]

Hi Harold and Ann. I'm not part of a couple; nonetheless, since I "just entered my fifties" about 3 years ago and became interested in sexual exploration shortly thereafter. I thought I would make a few comments regarding your specific question as well as a few unsolicited comments.
I don't believe you will find as many new people in our age range as in the younger age groups. One of the advantages of our ages, though, is that most of us have attained a comfort level with who we are and where we are in our lives (both in and out of the lifestyle). It has been my experience that that comfort level is instrumental in my abiltiy to enjoy myself with others and to form the type of relationships that I seek; i.e., the more long-term relationships that are based on friendship as well as sex.
Certainly, most of us in our 50's don't have the bodies or the stamina we did 20 years earlier, we cover the grey hairs, etc. (I'm certain you know the drill! !). But we do have things to offer that the younger groups don't. And occasionally, you may even run across a younger couple that has the level of maturity and interests you seek. I would never discount a couple merely based on age, but I have found that my interest, sexually, is geared primarily towards those close to my own age, just as it is in every other aspect of my life. While I may enjoy going to lunch with some of the "younger kids" at work, I tend to gravitate towards the "older kids."
I, too, was quite concerned about my age when I decided to go for it; however, I have found it to be like much of what we concern ourselves with. Basically, a non-concern. There are enough of us out here to meet the desires of everyone - different cultures, different races, different ages, different sexual interests...and the list goes on. Just sit back, relax, and know that there is a 40-50 year old couple looking for you. And enjoy yourselves!!

[Harold_N_Ann]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet
Well, we're 44 (in a month) and 45. Not quite as "mature" as you, I suppose, and we may not fit your description We've had one experience, so I would say we're relative newbies. I don't think it's that unusual. It's an interesting question though; what prompted you to ask?

-B

I guess the reason for the question is basically:

Will we be able to find couples to play with? In addition to being "over the hill" we are both large people, although attractive and sexual. Most couples we have chatted with are much younger and more fit and many of the ads we read are looking for younger, fit couples.

Ann, in particular, is reluctant to enter into any social situation where she may be ridiculed or rejected. She is comfortable with her body among friends and family, but is not truly confident about entering into a potentially intimate circumstance with a fear of rejection. This is, I think, the primary reason we are still sitting on the sidelines.

We know that nothing is certain in life, but we both want to have a realistic expectation of acceptance. This is a very exciting but also scary journey we are on the verge of undertaking.

We have found this site to be of great help in providing a much clearer picture of what the swinging lifestyle is and can be. No other place have we been able to get such personal insight from so many.

Thanks for previous answers and those to come.

[OhioCouple]

The best advice that I can give is patience is the key here. Even those that are the ideal age/weight etc.... have problems finding others that are compatible to their specifications.

Having been to several clubs, and a house party, we have met people of all sizes, shapes, color...etc. We have also had some that were attracted to us and us to them in each setting.

Age and weight have never been a factor in any social setting that we have seen. If you are comfortable with yourself, regardless of your perceived appearance or size, you'll make many friends, that is if you extend the hand to do so.

Lori

[fun_pairTX]

Hi we are. well at least I am almost 50, and my wife just turned 40. We have been swinging a year and we haven't had any problems finding couples that we can get together with for fun. I will add that we like you are beginning to show the ravages of "gravity" lol. Just take your time and meet a lot of people, you don't have to do anything or anyone you don't want to. We usually wind up playing with people our age but sometimes as young as 30. If we go too much younger we start running into people that are about the same age as our kids, and that is too weird for us. Best of luck to you.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by Harold_N_Ann
...
Ann, in particular, is reluctant to enter into any social situation where she may be ridiculed or rejected. She is comfortable with her body among friends and family, but is not truly confident about entering into a potentially intimate circumstance with a fear of rejection. This is, I think, the primary reason we are still sitting on the sidelines.
...

That pretty well describes where we are right now ourselves. J isn't too comfortable with herself right now and that's one reason we're not active right now. However, everything I've read here makes me think that she has nothing to worry about. Swingers seem to be a very accepting crowd, by most accounts. Fear of rejection is something we all face and have to overcome in order to meet people. I think it's realistic to believe that you will find someone accepting and compatible if you are patient.

-B

[fun_pairTX]

Don't sweat it, not everyone is going to want to do you and vice versa. Rejection can be for ANY reason at all, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with age or body type. We don't click with everyone and we don't expect to. Incompatibility is a fact of life, just as compatibility is. Swingers in general are not rude people, rejection usually amounts to "no thank you" or "we just don't feel any chemistry". Hardly a blow to the ego. We are usually rejected as we both have one eyebrow that goes all the way across...........

[Flori_DAMAN]

Mature?

OOps wrong thread!

John

[nudiecpl]

Hell we thought "Mature" was 65+!!! At that rate 50 ain't so bad!

an not drug induced!

[Vjklander]

age smage, we've shared pleasures with people from 18 to 72.
age is irrelevent
J

[Alura]

Hi, Harold & Ann!

We had our first experience a long time ago but have had so few of them that we still feel like, if not newbies, at least lesser experienced.

We're a mature couple, too, but have two fairly young children. That means we have the problems of both groups.

Hang around and post with us. Mature is good when you're looking for intelligent conversation.

Welcome from a couple of old, hick Okies!

Mr. & Mrs. Alura

[Flori_DAMAN]

I find the word "mature" to be subjective. I have seen very immature 80 year olds and very mature 20 year olds.

I'm immature but old.

John

[abbey]

We are a couple, he 55 and she 60..we have had a couple of encounters and enjoyed it but hard to find couples that both want to participate..sometimes one is trying to please the other rather than both wanting to be involved..have any suggestions on going to a club